Dieters shed two friends for every stone they drop?

Options
2»

Replies

  • pensierobello
    pensierobello Posts: 285 Member
    Options
    Hi people.

    This morning I listened to a discussion about this issue on my local radio station. Apparently there's a survey conducted by Brits and they've concluded that - Dieters shed two friends for every stone they drop - and it's all down to jealousy.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2633837/Shedding-weight-Prepare-wave-goodbye-friends-Dieters-lose-two-friends-stone-drop-jealousy.html#ixzz33SYtPreT

    Is anyone of you guys experiencing this? As for me, I did not lose any friend (yet, and hope I won't!) But I did noticed some jealousy vibes from this one friend of mine. While everyone around me is commenting that I look slimmer, she constantly says that I am her fat friend. I never bother about her comment before (because she's a fun friend), but after reading this article I realized that it could be that she prefers me to stay as her 'fat' friend.

    There are a lot of things that she has said or done that hurt me like saying I won't be able to do yoga ever when I plan to do it once I lose 25 kg. One thing that I learnt from her is that, never tell people about my food diary. Haha! She used to say that I can never lose weight because I eat all these fattening food (a potato in one meal is not fattening for god's sake!). But she never say anything when I had successfully lost 16 kg.

    I try to keep her in my loop because she's fun, or at least used to be fun. But while I am struggling in this lose weight journey, she seems to act like I am a threat. As if she keeps me because I'm fat so she can be a skinny friend next to me. This is depressing.

    Okay, so my question is, is any of you guys having this issue?

    Thank you!

    Dude, you can do yoga whatever weight you are - you certainly look smaller than me in your pic and I love my hatha! Get on it now :) Or try Pilates to strengthen your core.
  • hellokathy
    hellokathy Posts: 540 Member
    Options
    You said that hearing this broadcast was what made you think about your friendship? Don't do that. If you didn't have these doubts before, don't let something like this get into your mind. It's basically like reading about an illness and suddenly feeling like you have it.

    But on the other hand, what your friend is doing isn't okay. I get her POV because I often give my friends tough love, too. Like I'll tell them when they're doing something that's not cool. I'll still have their back and catch them if they fall but I'll also tell them when I think what they're doing isn't a good idea. For example a friend of mine kept trying to lose weight through some really fishy diets, including some shakes and pills. Do I applaud her for every pound she shed? Sure I do. But do I tell her that I think what she's doing is healthy in the long run? Nope. Your friend needs to find a better way between blind support and dragging you down with all that negativity.

    And on a not all that related note: The title of this thread is really confusing for a German like me. I kept wondering who the Dieters are. :laugh:
  • JojoEffeckt164
    JojoEffeckt164 Posts: 146 Member
    Options
    I realize that my my friends are kind of changing. I have no issues with jealous people (I erased those people a while ago already) but since I became more active I do more activities with my rather active friends... So I´m getting closer with my active friends.
  • luca15306
    luca15306 Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    I agree with the statement but not the article.
    I have no friends left, its seems a waste, weight loss was partly to feel better going out. Now I don't ever go out.
    Mixture of stuff, probably me to blame asusual
  • novembersuse
    novembersuse Posts: 77 Member
    Options
    I've not experienced it, but even though I'm dieting, I kinda try to keep it secret. I always think there's nothing worse than going out for drinks with someone who isn't drinking, or going to dinner with someone who has a salad. My calorie counting is strictly for when I'm alone, and when I'm out it goes completely out the window. It suits me to have all these free passes, but it's making it a longer journey, and I don't think I'll ever be able to ignore a great menu and scan for the lowest calorie option. I think if I did, I might get fewer offers to come out :tongue:
  • 2dare2dream
    2dare2dream Posts: 104 Member
    Options
    And with friends like that who needs enemies? , i learned many years ago that some people bring mostly negativity to your life and therefore should be removed from your inner circle. However we all have to make our own choices as to how we travel our own path. Congrats on your success so far and hopefully you will find the inner voice or confidence to call your friend out on her lack of respect for you not only as her so called friend but as a fellow human being
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    Options
    As I've lost weight I've gained friends. I started doing pole and made loads of pole friends. I can't think of any friends I've lost since I started losing.

    People change over time, friendships naturally come to an end... Weight loss is a slow process that takes time. It seems to me that you'd naturally lose friends over that time. It's possible people are jealous. It's also possible that some people become stuck up, self-righteous a-holes as they lose weight and people can't tolerate being around them. Who knows?
  • elliej
    elliej Posts: 466 Member
    Options
    Never believe anything you read in the Daily Mail. It's a national embarassment
  • smallpalehuman
    smallpalehuman Posts: 38 Member
    Options
    Congratulations on your weight loss journey so far! You should feel extremely proud of what you have achieved and will continue to achieve (including yoga!)

    I'm sorry to hear someone is making negative remarks at what is a clearly positive lifestyle change for you. It's especially hard when that person is a "friend"

    First of all, I'd definitely call her out on her actions. Speak to your friend face to face and tell her how it makes you feel when she makes these comments. You'd hope as friends you'd have her full support and she'd be happy at the idea of you being happy.

    Sure, she can feel jealous but she doesn't need to try and make you feel like rubbish because of her own insecurities!

    I really hope she apologises for her behavior and acts the way a friend should. But if she doesn't, let those comments make you stronger and more determined!

    Life is too short for bad friends :)
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Options
    Apparently there's a survey conducted by Brits and they've concluded that - Daily Mail readers shed two friends for every issue they read - and it's all down to other people knowing that Daily Mail readers are subhuman and they do not wish to associate with this person.

    Okay, so my question is, is any of you guys having this issue?

    Thank you!


    No. No I am not.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Options
    I've not experienced it, but even though I'm dieting, I kinda try to keep it secret. I always think there's nothing worse than going out for drinks with someone who isn't drinking, or going to dinner with someone who has a salad. My calorie counting is strictly for when I'm alone, and when I'm out it goes completely out the window. It suits me to have all these free passes, but it's making it a longer journey, and I don't think I'll ever be able to ignore a great menu and scan for the lowest calorie option. I think if I did, I might get fewer offers to come out :tongue:

    This is mainly what I do but I'm not really upset about it taking longer because I'd much rather be able to enjoy my life a little while I'm losing. I have been doing this for almost two years and I have at LEAST one more to go before I am happy with the way that I look and that's ok with me :)

    As for friends. ..I'm with everyone else, any friends who act like yours wouldn't be around me for long. I don't have time to deal with that drama.
  • Frood42
    Frood42 Posts: 245 Member
    Options
    Daily Wail/Fail :laugh:


    I have mates and I have friends, you're friend would probably make it as far as the "mates" category, real friends don't need a "fat" friend to make them feel better about themselves or to shore up their insecurities.
    .
  • pensierobello
    pensierobello Posts: 285 Member
    Options
    I'm not really talking to anyone about it. My flatmate knows I'm on the site, and I'm sure I'll tell my best friend, but generally I think that so long as I exercise to make up for eating out, I shouldn't really need to. If I keep dropping (fingers crossed) obviously it will come up at some point, but I think I'm just going to say I'm eating well and living well, and not get into the specifics. I'm definitely not talking to work people about it, as I had put on 1.5 stone since I started here partly down to the constant kitchen drop-offs of cake and crisps and all that!
  • Shropshire1959
    Shropshire1959 Posts: 982 Member
    Options
    It's hard to lose REAL friends.... the others? **** them :-p
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    Options
    I think as long as you stay humble and don't go around bragging/talking about it. This is one reason I love MFP. This is the one place you can "brag", discuss your trumphs and your frustrations, and everyone understands! I know my FB friends do not want to hear it on a daily basis!
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
    Options
    It's hard to lose REAL friends.... the others? **** them :-p

    +1
  • tycho_mx
    tycho_mx Posts: 426 Member
    Options
    Get better friends :)

    Seriously, though, maybe just a different circle. We had an overweight guy join us for some bike rides. He stuck to it despite starting at the back and really slow, has lost some weight, and has gained 20+ riding partners / "friends" in the process.

    So if your friend activities consist of funnel cake and nachos exclusively, I can see that the process of losing weight would interfere with those friendships.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    Options
    Depends.

    This is a much bigger problem with women than it is for us guys.

    Also the nature of your friendships matter. Take me, for example. Almost none of my friends are, or were, overweight/fat/obese. I never built friendships around eating, dining out, food was never the center of any of my relationships. So losing weight has had literally zero impact on the nature and quality of the interactions with my friends.

    However if a person has friendships that are built around stuffing your faces together, excessive drinking, or being fat is a state that binds you to your friends, losing weight might definitely disrupt those friendships and could ultimately kill it. If sitting around eating, or complaining constantly about being fat, or even dieting together is a huge commonality, yet one of you succeeds and the other doesn't, well...

Categories