forced birthday eating?

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  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    I don't agree w/ the "cheat day" people out there. Not for me anyway. As a food addict myself, one taste of cake or super sweet treat would send me into a tailspin. Would you offer crack to a drug addict? A beer to an alchoholic. To answer the actual question, I would pull the coworker who is coordinating the event, or food and politely explain that you are super happy that they want to celebrate your day w/ you but if they are to bring a food item, make it a fruit tray or veggie tray. You would hate for them to go to all the effort and then not be able to participate. You have made a commitment to yourself to eat healthily to better yourself and you really wouldn't be able to eat cake on the day.


    As a recovering addict 13+ years clean I'm not saying your cheat day is a license to go nuts. The cheat day keeps your body from settling into a rhythm. Keep it guessing.... the same thing applies to exercise programs. Do a set program the same way for 6 weeks and then take 4 -7 days off and change up the exercise routine and do it for the next 6 weeks etc. to keep the muscles from developing "muscle memory". The cheat day is a tactic to wean yourself off the bad habits and into good habits. I haven't eaten fried foods for over a year and I don't miss them now, but they used to be a "cheat food". Now my "cheat day" is just going over on calories with healthy food. Look at my diary and you'll see: Snickerdoodles --- one or snickerdoodles --- two
    not 12....... This is a journey that takes a lot of small steps and these methods come from people who have trained 1000's of people and used that experience and wrote a book about it. Check out: Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle by Tom Venuto. This guy is my role model. The first chapter is about goal setting and the subconscious and how only 5 percent of people do this. No surprise that 95% of people have trouble with continued dietting success. This book cleared up a lot of Q's for me that I coudn't find the A for in other places. Like: when should I exercise and when should I eat? "Fasted cardio" works best for me which is doing cardio first thing in the morning having only a cup of hot tea(or caffeine of your choice) and waiting 30 minutes for absorption B4 running for more than 30 minutes a day. When I do this every day, I lose 2 - 3 pounds a week. I just recovered from an injury and I decided to join MFP and I lost 3 pounds the first week.
  • pamp1emousse
    pamp1emousse Posts: 282 Member
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    Ah, I completely understand. It's my birthday on Friday and my family want to stuff me with cakes and my friends want to stuff me with alcohol! And I'm just getting back on track after the holidays. So I understand your dilemma.

    In my opinion, it's YOUR birthday. When it's a loved one's birthday, if they want cake you have to join in their day and have some, even if it's just a little bit. On your day, if you don't want it to be food-centred, it doesn't have to be. However, it's not really a life plan if you can't relax a little on special occasions :smile: . I'm going to exercise on the day, eat at maintenance if need be, but mainly just fit stuff in by eating healthily otherwise throughout the day. If you have a light lunch, for example, you CAN have a slice of birthday cake! Or if you go for a long walk/do 30 mins of cardio you can have a glass or 2 of wine.

    By all means, don't depress yourself on your own birthday by stuffing yourself against your will to make others happy, but if you make some minor adjustments you can still relax a bit and enjoy yourself :smile: . Just plan ahead! Happy birthday! :drinker:
  • wowzer
    wowzer Posts: 18
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    "Feeders" as I call them are making themselves feel better by getting you to eat. Misery loves company. Suggest an alternative. Perhaps a fruit plate ot no sugar dessert than you can plan for in your calorie count.
  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    Ah, I completely understand. It's my birthday on Friday and my family want to stuff me with cakes and my friends want to stuff me with alcohol! And I'm just getting back on track after the holidays. So I understand your dilemma.

    In my opinion, it's YOUR birthday. When it's a loved one's birthday, if they want cake you have to join in their day and have some, even if it's just a little bit. On your day, if you don't want it to be food-centred, it doesn't have to be. However, it's not really a life plan if you can't relax a little on special occasions :smile: . I'm going to exercise on the day, eat at maintenance if need be, but mainly just fit stuff in by eating healthily otherwise throughout the day. If you have a light lunch, for example, you CAN have a slice of birthday cake! Or if you go for a long walk/do 30 mins of cardio you can have a glass or 2 of wine.

    By all means, don't depress yourself on your own birthday by stuffing yourself against your will to make others happy, but if you make some minor adjustments you can still relax a bit and enjoy yourself :smile: . Just plan ahead! Happy birthday! :drinker:


    I have made my b/day a "get away day". When I lived in PA, I went snow skiing every year. I started running about 11 months ago and set my self a goal of running 6 miles. I was up to 6.5 miles a day in about 6 months on the street. Got a treadmill now. Now that I've recovered from an injury and have resumed running, I set a goal to run 6 miles in under 60 minutes by my b/day(S/N number). I prefer to make it MY day like xmaxine says.

    Ditto to wowzer also.
  • Lillyzar
    Lillyzar Posts: 46 Member
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    Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions! I plan to enjoy the day and to remember that as a lifestyle change I will face choices such as this one! :wink:
  • R200thie
    R200thie Posts: 9 Member
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    Hi It's my birthday Friday!! I have a few nights out planned and just plan to excercise a bit more to compensate and to go for healthy options? Just have a little bit of cake? I mean if you cant have cake on your birthday when can you have it? xx
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
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    My sister's daughter just had a birthday as well. She bought one of those yummy ice cream cakes from winco, did I have a piece? Hell yes I did but I worked it into my calories for the day. I did not beat myself up or feel quilty, period! The reality is, your going to have days where you want a little something extra or something you might think is forbidden and unplanned, it's a lifestyle change. Embrace the change and make choices that are good for you. In all honesty, will you never eat cake or anything else like that again for the rest of your life? Most likely you will so plan for it and don't let it be a license to binge out the rest of the day. It's ok to splurge every so often, I would go crazy if I couldn't have my Mexican food at least once every two weeks. I agree with some of the other posters on having the occasional forbidden foods on occasion. My diet mentality used to be so warped that even the slightest slip would set me up for a binge, those days are over. This is for life not a temporary quick fix which never works. Good luck and Happy Birthday!
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,728 Member
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    I wasn't sure how to word the title but here it goes. My birthday is this coming Thursday and I was asked by my staff what kind of cake I like. I said chocolate but then thought about it and said "Please no cake or food for my birthday." I get told that it's my birthday and there's no dieting on birthdays. Now, I had a great week and am super motivated but these are the types of situations that drive me crazy. It seems that others either don't care or understand how hard it is to eat well for some of us! The person who told me this is very overweight themselves so it's it's not like I could joke and say "well it's easy for you to say" or anything along those lines. Well let's see how much will power I have this week!
    It sounds like your staff enjoys celebrating people's birthdays. I say, "Let them eat cake," if that makes them happy. If you want to have some, I think you ought to, but I don't think you should feel obligated to eat any either. When you were asked, you told them you didn't want cake or food for your birthday. This is YOUR birthday, isn't it? I'm sure they're trying to be thoughtful, but if they were really being thoughtful, they'd honor your wishes for your birthday. If it were me, and I decided I still didn't want to eat any, I'd take the plate, thank them sincerely, but then not eat any. They may not even notice. If they do, you can explain that even though you really appreciate the gesture, your preference really was not to have birthday cake and remind them that's what you said when asked. Good luck, and happy birthday!
  • TaneeisFitforLife
    TaneeisFitforLife Posts: 433
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    For my birthday I totally hinted around that I would LOVE to have one of those edible fruit arrangements ;) especially with the dark chocolate covered berries.

    My friends chipped in and actually got me one instead of trying to figure out what cake to get me (I'm picky if I'm splurging on cake!!)

    It's your birthday....if they are asking don't be afraid to tell them. I used to work in an office and it was always someone's freaking birthday or holiday :P

    I don't believe in cheats days either. If you want something then work it into your daily calories ;)
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    I am not one that indulges in sweets often. Never have been. I don't think cake is worth eating even when not trying to eat healthy. I would much rather have pie...even that gets people acting all weird..."It;s your bday...you have to have cake" I don't really like cake...My hubby and I exchanged chocolate covered strawberries at our wedding..cake just doesn't taste that good to me. If people ask me about cake for a special event for me or my family I give suggestions that I actually enjoy and feel good about...if they still choose to buy cake then they can waste their own money...I won't eat it...It isn't about cheat day or not it is about doing what makes you feel good especially on your own bday. If you would rather have a veggie tray and some fruit and save your big splurge like meal for an awesome calorie laden Mexican dinner celebrated with loved ones then don't eat the darn cake. I am not going to eat anything that I will not be able to enjoy and savor...and savor is the key to me...I am ok with "going over" and eating splurge worthy foods but it has to be mindful and I must be able to savor each morsel or I am blowing my choices on nonsense eating...snacking on Christmas cookies while chatting at a party would have been mindless eating in which I wouldn't have enjoyed the cookies anyway...so why do it? If eating birthday cake at the office would be the same for you...mindless eating to not stand out and not even taking the time to savor each morsel...then skip it. If I am going to splurge I do it mindfully and on foods that I really want and that I will really enjoy...not just treats others think I might like on my bday...
  • efcdcdb
    efcdcdb Posts: 392 Member
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    However, it's not really a life plan if you can't relax a little on special occasions :smile: . I'm going to exercise on the day, eat at maintenance if need be, but mainly just fit stuff in by eating healthily otherwise throughout the day. If you have a light lunch, for example, you CAN have a slice of birthday cake! Or if you go for a long walk/do 30 mins of cardio you can have a glass or 2 of wine.

    I agree. In my one year of using MFP, this has probably been the most helpful concept for me. I absolutely cannot, and will not DIET. I can't deprive myself for the rest of my life, so what is the point of doing it just to lose the weight, if I am going to gain it back? 95% of the people using this site need to re-train themselves, to be able to handle special situations in life, as far as eating goes. If you watch what, and how thin people eat, that's what you will see. They have what they want, but don't over-indulge (or pig-out). I am definitely not there yet, and I don't know if I will ever be, but that's what I am striving for. I want to be able to have my cake and eat it too. :bigsmile:
  • dwarfer22
    dwarfer22 Posts: 358 Member
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    I don't agree w/ the "cheat day" people out there. Not for me anyway. As a food addict myself, one taste of cake or super sweet treat would send me into a tailspin. Would you offer crack to a drug addict? A beer to an alchoholic. To answer the actual question, I would pull the coworker who is coordinating the event, or food and politely explain that you are super happy that they want to celebrate your day w/ you but if they are to bring a food item, make it a fruit tray or veggie tray. You would hate for them to go to all the effort and then not be able to participate. You have made a commitment to yourself to eat healthily to better yourself and you really wouldn't be able to eat cake on the day.


    As a recovering addict 13+ years clean I'm not saying your cheat day is a license to go nuts. The cheat day keeps your body from settling into a rhythm. Keep it guessing.... the same thing applies to exercise programs. Do a set program the same way for 6 weeks and then take 4 -7 days off and change up the exercise routine and do it for the next 6 weeks etc. to keep the muscles from developing "muscle memory". The cheat day is a tactic to wean yourself off the bad habits and into good habits. I haven't eaten fried foods for over a year and I don't miss them now, but they used to be a "cheat food". Now my "cheat day" is just going over on calories with healthy food. Look at my diary and you'll see: Snickerdoodles --- one or snickerdoodles --- two
    not 12....... This is a journey that takes a lot of small steps and these methods come from people who have trained 1000's of people and used that experience and wrote a book about it. Check out: Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle by Tom Venuto. This guy is my role model. The first chapter is about goal setting and the subconscious and how only 5 percent of people do this. No surprise that 95% of people have trouble with continued dietting success. This book cleared up a lot of Q's for me that I coudn't find the A for in other places. Like: when should I exercise and when should I eat? "Fasted cardio" works best for me which is doing cardio first thing in the morning having only a cup of hot tea(or caffeine of your choice) and waiting 30 minutes for absorption B4 running for more than 30 minutes a day. When I do this every day, I lose 2 - 3 pounds a week. I just recovered from an injury and I decided to join MFP and I lost 3 pounds the first week.

    While I agree that a cheat day once in awhile can be good I don't believe this particular poster is ready for that. Neo, you said you are 13 years clean, this poster joined 10 days ago and maybe just starting down that road. All I'm saying is that maybe it's a tad too soon to intro cake to someone presumably brand new to her lifestyle change. Perhaps I am wrong and she has been successful on her own and just joined the MFP community, her question said otherwise.
  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    I don't agree w/ the "cheat day" people out there. Not for me anyway. As a food addict myself, one taste of cake or super sweet treat would send me into a tailspin. Would you offer crack to a drug addict? A beer to an alchoholic. To answer the actual question, I would pull the coworker who is coordinating the event, or food and politely explain that you are super happy that they want to celebrate your day w/ you but if they are to bring a food item, make it a fruit tray or veggie tray. You would hate for them to go to all the effort and then not be able to participate. You have made a commitment to yourself to eat healthily to better yourself and you really wouldn't be able to eat cake on the day.


    As a recovering addict 13+ years clean I'm not saying your cheat day is a license to go nuts. The cheat day keeps your body from settling into a rhythm. Keep it guessing.... the same thing applies to exercise programs. Do a set program the same way for 6 weeks and then take 4 -7 days off and change up the exercise routine and do it for the next 6 weeks etc. to keep the muscles from developing "muscle memory". The cheat day is a tactic to wean yourself off the bad habits and into good habits. I haven't eaten fried foods for over a year and I don't miss them now, but they used to be a "cheat food". Now my "cheat day" is just going over on calories with healthy food. Look at my diary and you'll see: Snickerdoodles --- one or snickerdoodles --- two
    not 12....... This is a journey that takes a lot of small steps and these methods come from people who have trained 1000's of people and used that experience and wrote a book about it. Check out: Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle by Tom Venuto. This guy is my role model. The first chapter is about goal setting and the subconscious and how only 5 percent of people do this. No surprise that 95% of people have trouble with continued dietting success. This book cleared up a lot of Q's for me that I coudn't find the A for in other places. Like: when should I exercise and when should I eat? "Fasted cardio" works best for me which is doing cardio first thing in the morning having only a cup of hot tea(or caffeine of your choice) and waiting 30 minutes for absorption B4 running for more than 30 minutes a day. When I do this every day, I lose 2 - 3 pounds a week. I just recovered from an injury and I decided to join MFP and I lost 3 pounds the first week.

    While I agree that a cheat day once in awhile can be good I don't believe this particular poster is ready for that. Neo, you said you are 13 years clean, this poster joined 10 days ago and maybe just starting down that road. All I'm saying is that maybe it's a tad too soon to intro cake to someone presumably brand new to her lifestyle change. Perhaps I am wrong and she has been successful on her own and just joined the MFP community, her question said otherwise.


    This response was meant for you regarding your Q about giving drugs to an addict, not answering any further to her initial post.

    In her initial post she said: "she had a good week and she was REALLY MOTIVATED, but situations like this drive her crazy."
    I don't hear a person saying, "I'm a food junkie and I really can't be around cake." I hear her saying, " I am making progress and this is going to be hard for me to say anything without sounding ungrateful or rude."

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