One free night a year

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Replies

  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

    If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

    I got married because I love my husband and I want to be with him, as his wife. We share the same beliefs and values and goals in life, just like any other married couple should. Just because they're not your beliefs, values and goals - and we express our love for each other in ways that are obviously foreign to you - doesn't mean we shouldn't have gotten married.
  • WanaBMom
    WanaBMom Posts: 43 Member
    Who is to say what's right between one couple is right for you? I personally have a pretty fantastic marriage right now and we've spoken about what would happen if we were given a pass. We both agree that, right now, we are content and that if were ever to not be happy then we would communicate. We'd discuss options from there.

    Oh, and it's no one elses business but ours. Cheating (no permission or discussion) on the other hand is another story.
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    this thread is interesting...it seems to be fairly common to think that having an open marriage means something is wrong with the marriage and/or there is no love there.

    there are PLENNNNTY of couples that happily and successfully engage in open relationships, swapping, additional partners, and a myriad of other activities considered nontraditional.

    the fact that this is so taboo and equates to not loving the other person is just archaic.

    Marriage is between two people. Not three, not four. TWO.

    If an individual cannot be/does not want to be with one person, there is absolutely no point in getting married.

    Ohhhh. I see. Because if another person chooses to do something that you don't agree with in their own marriage than they shouldn't get married.

    Gotcha.

    It doesn't mean that the person can't/doesn't want to be with their S/O. Different things work for different individuals. You are obviously not in the lifestyle so you have no clue as to what goes on in that kind of environment or relationship.
  • Evotchka
    Evotchka Posts: 144 Member
    I have a fiance and we are in a wonderful open relationship. We are emotionally very very committed to each other but we luckily are that great of a match that we actually love to think about our partner being with someone else. I'm also bi and right now I'm dating this girl and that brings so much more fun into mine and my fiance's sex life and in our relationship. Because we are required to talk everything out so much more, our communication is excellent and I can honestly say that we have never been closer to one another ever since we opened our relationship up.
    We have a few ground rules of course. Our relationship always comes first, if the partner isn't ok with something, we stop immediately. I totally understand it's not for everyone but luckily we both happen to not be the jealous type and it's honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have always been so afraid of marriage because even though I haven't cheated before I would come dangerously close to it. Now I know him and I will work for the rest of our lives because we can be open about what (or whom) we want and I don't have to feel bad or guilty about it.


    EDIT - I also just read a little bit through this thread and I have to say that yes, I get how it's not for everyone but lets just look at all the relationships we know around us and how OFTEN people cheat. If we just acknowledge that every human being has certain desires and if we're just honest about them so much hurt can be prevented. For anyone that's interested, I recommend Dan Savage's Podcast "Savage Lovecast" and his column "Savage Love" : http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=19605136#thisweek It is broadening your horizon and it's helped me come to terms with my bisexuality big time.
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    I have a fiance and we are in a wonderful open relationship. We are emotionally very very committed to each other but we luckily are that great of a match that we actually love to think about our partner being with someone else. I'm also bi and right now I'm dating this girl and that brings so much more fun into mine and my fiance's sex life and in our relationship. Because we are required to talk everything out so much more, our communication is excellent and I can honestly say that we have never been closer to one another ever since we opened our relationship up.
    We have a few ground rules of course. Our relationship always comes first, if the partner isn't ok with something, we stop immediately. I totally understand it's not for everyone but luckily we both happen to not be the jealous type and it's honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have always been so afraid of marriage because even though I haven't cheated before I would come dangerously close to it. Now I know him and I will work for the rest of our lives because we can be open about what (or whom) we want and I don't have to feel bad or guilty about it.


    EDIT - I also just read a little bit through this thread and I have to say that yes, I get how it's not for everyone but lets just look at all the relationships we know around us and how OFTEN people cheat. If we just acknowledge that every human being has certain desires and if we're just honest about them so much hurt can be prevented. For anyone that's interested, I recommend Dan Savage's Podcast "Savage Lovecast" and his column "Savage Love" : http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=19605136#thisweek It is broadening your horizon and it's helped me come to terms with my bisexuality big time.

    /Thread.
    (seriously, where is the like button when you need it?)
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    I have a fiance and we are in a wonderful open relationship. We are emotionally very very committed to each other but we luckily are that great of a match that we actually love to think about our partner being with someone else. I'm also bi and right now I'm dating this girl and that brings so much more fun into mine and my fiance's sex life and in our relationship. Because we are required to talk everything out so much more, our communication is excellent and I can honestly say that we have never been closer to one another ever since we opened our relationship up.
    We have a few ground rules of course. Our relationship always comes first, if the partner isn't ok with something, we stop immediately. I totally understand it's not for everyone but luckily we both happen to not be the jealous type and it's honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have always been so afraid of marriage because even though I haven't cheated before I would come dangerously close to it. Now I know him and I will work for the rest of our lives because we can be open about what (or whom) we want and I don't have to feel bad or guilty about it.


    EDIT - I also just read a little bit through this thread and I have to say that yes, I get how it's not for everyone but lets just look at all the relationships we know around us and how OFTEN people cheat. If we just acknowledge that every human being has certain desires and if we're just honest about them so much hurt can be prevented. For anyone that's interested, I recommend Dan Savage's Podcast "Savage Lovecast" and his column "Savage Love" : http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=19605136#thisweek It is broadening your horizon and it's helped me come to terms with my bisexuality big time.

    /Thread.
    (seriously, where is the like button when you need it?)

    I believe you mean the "Hell yeah, I love this" button...
  • siport
    siport Posts: 7,429 Member
    I have a fiance and we are in a wonderful open relationship. We are emotionally very very committed to each other but we luckily are that great of a match that we actually love to think about our partner being with someone else. I'm also bi and right now I'm dating this girl and that brings so much more fun into mine and my fiance's sex life and in our relationship. Because we are required to talk everything out so much more, our communication is excellent and I can honestly say that we have never been closer to one another ever since we opened our relationship up.
    We have a few ground rules of course. Our relationship always comes first, if the partner isn't ok with something, we stop immediately. I totally understand it's not for everyone but luckily we both happen to not be the jealous type and it's honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have always been so afraid of marriage because even though I haven't cheated before I would come dangerously close to it. Now I know him and I will work for the rest of our lives because we can be open about what (or whom) we want and I don't have to feel bad or guilty about it.


    EDIT - I also just read a little bit through this thread and I have to say that yes, I get how it's not for everyone but lets just look at all the relationships we know around us and how OFTEN people cheat. If we just acknowledge that every human being has certain desires and if we're just honest about them so much hurt can be prevented. For anyone that's interested, I recommend Dan Savage's Podcast "Savage Lovecast" and his column "Savage Love" : http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=19605136#thisweek It is broadening your horizon and it's helped me come to terms with my bisexuality big time.
    if it works for you great......but I call bull****..........never works out.

    sharing is caring, didn't you get taught to always share your toys?
  • shannon717717
    shannon717717 Posts: 19
    I would want a pass for myself but not the person I'm in a relationship with to have a pass! lol
  • teresamwhite
    teresamwhite Posts: 947 Member

    I know many people who have alternative lifestyles that work for them but for me... nope.

    I know quite a few people with an arrangement like this, or who have open relationships, or poly relationships, and the only way I've seen it work is with a strong primary partnership and a LOT of communication. Most people I know only play together, not separately.

    My husband wouldn't be open for it at all, so it wouldn't work in my marriage.

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