How do you deal with a friend who ignores you?

gabrielleelliott90
gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hey guys and girls,

So I have this friend, who has been ignoring me for a month now. Today I messaged that friend again, still no reply, and I haven't been messaging the friend recently, it's a guy btw, who is older than me- like 16 years older? I always have weird aged friends, they are usually a few years younger or a few years older, but I met him in a group, and he was the comedian, and this was a self-management group, where we manage our illnesses. We became friends, we went shopping twice. He would make me laugh- he does not act his age- he acts like he is closer to my age of 21. No romantic interest, well at least not from my side anyway. And I let that be known, by referring to him as a friend. The last time we went to town, was probably nearing 2 months.

From what I know, I never did anything wrong, but he started to ignore me, he would respond to another person we knew from the group, and she asked him to reply to me, he never did. It is really sad for me, because I don't make friends too easily, I am an introvert. I have basically given up on him. One thing that was said to me by our acquaintance though was that he may possibly be moving nearer to his brother, because his 'niece and nephew want him there'. I believe this is why he could be ignoring me? As I have not had a good response to a convo we had about this over text message before. However, if he is, there is nothing I can do is it? He can do what he likes, no one wants a friend to move away from them, but that is life.

How would you react, I have ditched him. I don't really think I should give him any chances, today I told him I still would consider him a friend, now I have thought about it, I am taking that back. I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.
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Replies

  • roanokejoe49
    roanokejoe49 Posts: 820 Member
    Seriously? Ditch him and forget him. Simple.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
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  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    Or you could just move on without being dramatic. Sometimes we get busy or we drift away from friends. You're 21, you'll make more friends.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    If he's not replying...MOVE ON.
  • suzi67
    suzi67 Posts: 162 Member
    I live by the rule: Never make someone a priority that only considers you an option.

    Say goodbye and move on, even as hard as that can be.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Honestly - take the ignoring as a signal that he's no longer interested in being friends with you. It might be something you did, it might not be. In the long run, it doesn't matter.

    Losing friendships is hard, I'm sorry. Don't obsess over it and try to move on.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    Honey, you are really making this WAY more complicated than it needs to be. There is no need for a formal notification of the ditching. You just ditch.
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    It seems to me, you're the one who was ditched. Move on
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    It sounds like you are putting a big stock in this guy. He sounds like a normal human who has drifted away. Those are normal things that happen, you start to lose touch with people that were close. If he doesn't initiate a friendship, there shouldn't be much of a reason to reach for one. Look for friendship in like minded people who are also giving an effort.
  • PinkCupcakes84
    PinkCupcakes84 Posts: 235 Member
    I wouldn't even text him anymore. Why do you keep texting him? Leave it alone.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Honey, you are really making this WAY more complicated than it needs to be. There is no need for a formal notification of the ditching. You just ditch.

    This. ditching notification seems desperate and you don't want to seem any more desperate. stay strong.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    He's obligated to respond if you're contemplating suicide? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on another person.

    I recommend handling it like an adult and moving on with your life without acting like a dramatic 14 year old.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    Or you could just move on without being dramatic. Sometimes we get busy or we drift away from friends. You're 21, you'll make more friends.

    Please, this.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Honey, you are really making this WAY more complicated than it needs to be. There is no need for a formal notification of the ditching. You just ditch.

    +1
  • dlionsmane
    dlionsmane Posts: 674 Member
    why would you need to 'ditch' him and tell him that? Just go on about your business. Wouldn't you feel like total crap if you found out later that he had real issues that he was dealing with (may even be that involved you - I mean you friendzoned him). And that is why he could't respond.

    Just let it go. If its meant to be it will be.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I would find a new friend.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    I'd like to add that it sounds like you are a bit lonely. If you would like to be friends, I can listen to whatever. Life doesn't have to be hard or confusing. Happiness is a choice girl, remember that! :)
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    i have many different friends, some i see and hang out with often, and some i see only once or twice a year. makes them no less a friend.

    don't make this complicated. it's a FRIEND. friendships aren't supposed to be hard. yes, you'll disagree with things with friends, but you can't force a friendship.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    You can't control what other people do and you won't always get "closure" that so many think they deserve. One of the things about getting older is that you learn that life in general just sucks but you get over it and move on.

    Don't give this guy too much more thought. If he responds, great, if he doesn't, oh well. Don't spend too much time mulling it over, people are sometimes flaky and do weird things. And you may never get an answer. That's the way the cookie crumbles.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    doesnt sound like he's putting anything into the friendship.
    sucks.

    i would branch out and maybe he absence won't be felt so much.

    i think telling him may have been a mistake.
    people change, friendships change.
    announcing it to him probably sounded like potential drama to him.

    good luck op.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Were you secretly hoping for more?
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Why move on tomorrow, when you can do it today?
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
    I know it's hard when you don't have many friends. I mean, it's always hard to lose a friend, but it's harder if you don't have many anyway, and if you find it so hard to make new friends.
    I don't personally think you're overreacting, but it looks like it's not that kind of friendship you should worry about. Maybe you two weren't so close anyway... and he didn't feel compelled to keep in touch. If I want to keep in touch with a friend of mine, I will. If I'm very busy, I'll be a bit more distant, but it doesn't last for 2 months.
    I think you should move on too, even though it feels bad to be somewhat "rejected" as a friend... maybe it wasn't meant to be.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
    Were you secretly hoping for more?

    tumblr_mzaufitmNZ1tptg9yo1_250.gif
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    I told him how I have been stressed about other things and even felt suicidal at one point (although I was just really upset about an argument with my parents and just having troubles right now- I would never actually commit suicide so please don't worry about that- everyone feels suicidal at some point in their lives) yet I get no reply, I mean that isn't a true friend. He has til tomorrow to reply, and if not I will tell him he is ditched.

    He's obligated to respond if you're contemplating suicide? That's an awful lot of responsibility to put on another person.

    I recommend handling it like an adult and moving on with your life without acting like a dramatic 14 year old.
    Wow, I totally missed that part.

    OP, this sounds like you were being pretty manipulative.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    Ever seen this movie? If not, watch it today.


    tumblr_lu9mfxeOOW1qd27hvo1_500.gif
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    Honestly - take the ignoring as a signal that he's no longer interested in being friends with you. It might be something you did, it might not be. In the long run, it doesn't matter.

    Losing friendships is hard, I'm sorry. Don't obsess over it and try to move on.
    This.

    And I would simply not contact him again. If he's not replying to your attempts then further attempts to contact him is not going to make him suddenly change his mind and reply. At best, he'll be mean thinking that's the only way to make you leave him alone.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Wow! Okay... first off, he probably wanted more than friendship and since you made that clear that there wouldn't be anything more than that, he has moved on. Don't take it personal.

    Second, telling someone who had been ignoring you that you are suicidal makes you look desperate and in need of attention. Don't do that to yourself. No matter how close you were before, the way he is treating you now means that he doesn't deserve to be privy to that information.

    Lastly, forgetting about him... even if you feel like your suicidal thought was normal, it still needs addressing. I would advise that you get yourself some counseling before your depression takes hold.
  • kconrad1712
    kconrad1712 Posts: 36 Member
    So I have this friend, who has been ignoring me for a month now.

    Girl, wake up. He has already ditched you. You can't ditch someone who is already gone. Move on and find other friends.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    tumblr_m2nwozuZtH1qdc7u7o1_500.jpg

    OMG I love this

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