Crying

Saying "that's just how men act" is demeaning to real men.

What an *kitten*. He was probably messing with the guy anyway. Please don't take it too personal. It was meant as a joke to demean your bf. To bring him down. You understand?

This is the first thing I thought...This was meant as a jerk messing with a jerk. He was trying to not only demean your boyfriend but also make your boyfriend look like an *kitten*. Which he succeeded. However, the guy you are dating should not be hanging around with creeps like that. You are GORGEOUS! That whole phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me?" Bologna. But don't give the jerk any power. Its not true so don't focus on it. You are beautiful and that moron obviously should feel lucky he's dating you. :flowerforyou:

The only part here I don't agree with, and this is coming from a guys point of view, is that most guys say that. I don't think he's being a creep. It's just meant to bring him down because probably his roommate has no one as hot as you or no one at all.

No, I don't agree... I think most guys THINK other guys act this way... but it's simply not true. If a guy thinks this is how all guys act then it's the company they keep that's making them think this, not a true reflection on all guys.

You must be a guy then right? You don't think like men. There is no way you can be. Men were taught that fat was ok. That being fat was ok. Women were taught otherwise.

So, this guy I have been semi dating (or something like that) just called me. He screams my name and then I hear in the background his roommate scream "Hey, is that the fat girl you're talking to". It really tore me apart. Yeah, I was fat, and yes I have more weight to lose, but the comment cut me to the core. Perhaps, I am too sensitive, words can hurt so bad.

My advice to you is to jettison the dead, useless weight you have in your life which is bringing you down: by that I mean the roommate and your "boyfriend".

If I am reading the situation correctly you used to be overweight. At that time the roommate used to make derogatory remarks about your appearance. Now you are slimmer but he is still doing so. Presumably your boyfriend knows all of this history.

First, the roommate obviously has some issue with you and seems to like putting you down. They cannot assess you objectively given these issues making their opinions worthless. You clearly have a nice figure. Next!

Second, your "boyfriend." This is more problematic. He either knows or should know that given your previous concerns over your weight and run ins with his room mate that the "fat girl" remarks are hurtful, disrespectful and borderline bullying. If he can't grasp that he is as dumb as a post. If he does understand that and does nothing that is insensitive and lacks backbone. Dumb, insensitive or weak willed are not a good look on a man.

I think the real situation here is that your previous size has made you under confident and open to being treated badly by morons. (For example what is "semi - dating"? A person either commits to you or they don't. If they can't they need to get the hell on...) This is unsuprising. We live in socities which push distorted images at us, particuarlarly women. Being slim is equated with being "good" or "desirable" or "worthy of love." Of course this is utter nonsense. It is the content of our chararcters which define us as people. What is in our hearts, the way we treat people, our positive actions which are ultimately the things on which we should be judged by. Sadly, it is very easy to be seduced by negative thinking and media images.

This site promotes health and strength. Equally as important as physical strength is mental and emotional health and robustness. However, just as you cannot look to other people to find the willpower and motivation to lose weight but have to look inside yourself, so it is with self image. It starts and ends with you. The good news is just like a muscle the way you view yourself, your confidence can be trained and grow.

If you are a good person and treat people well and someone is rude about you then the problem is theirs not yours. Don't take responsibility for their idiocy. Do what I do. Tell them have a Coke and a smile and shut the **** up.

Keep your head held high. Good luck kid.

So, this guy I have been semi dating (or something like that) just called me. He screams my name and then I hear in the background his roommate scream "Hey, is that the fat girl you're talking to". It really tore me apart. Yeah, I was fat, and yes I have more weight to lose, but the comment cut me to the core. Perhaps, I am too sensitive, words can hurt so bad.