Co-worker looks anorexic. Help with ideas please.
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Just because you have formed an opinion about her appearance doesn't give you the right to say anything to her about it. Ya she could be anorexic, but she could also have a thyroid condition, a hormonal condition, a digestive condition, etc. Or maybe its just her body type. Would you comment on an overweight co-workers appearance? No. Do yourself and your coworker a favor and keep it to yourself. Fat shaming and skinny shaming are no different.0
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I agree with you guys in not giving advice if not asked. I would never accuse her however of being anorexic, but I can not support weight loss goals if I see that it would be unhealthy.
Thank you for all the input. You guys are great
Also I would never go up to her and tell her how to live her life. Mot my business, and I can see how she'd be taken aback.I am preparing in case it happens
You are waaaaay pre-judging this situation. First, she hasn't even asked for your support. Secondly, you are assuming that "get fit" means lose weight, or that cardio means losing weight. You are making assumptions about what would be healthy for her, when you really don't know.
Before I had kids, I was naturally very skinny. I was the one people said "looked anorexic." I knew I was underweight, and I didn't like it, but I was just too lazy to fix it. I was also flabby, no muscle, no endurance, never exercised. Taking up running would have been a huge improvement for my health. ANY exercise would have been! And, it turns out, I love running! But if I had tried, and someone came along trying to convince me that cardio was somehow "unhealthy" for skinny people, I would have just quit.0 -
You've suggested she lift, there's nothing else you need to do, it's up to her. You could always send her the link to MFP.
this.
you've offered as much unsolicited advice as you can without being rude.
When/IF she brings it up again- then broach the subject- but otherwise let it go.
Big rule with people (i was going to say women- but men are the same way) you get one or two free passes to pimp your opinion/offer help or pointing in a direction before you're viewed as a nuisance.
After that- let the other person lead and come to you with questions/thoughts.
"I'm here to help if you need anything" and let it go.0 -
YEah, unless she is a close friend or family member ( where your concern might be more informed and everyone minds everyone else's business anyway,) you should prob leave it alone.0
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Mind yo business. Especially at work. Not many appreciate unsolicited advice.0 -
You wouldn't want people saying anything to you about your weight. Thin people don't like it either. my advice is :
Hahah! ^ love0 -
I know two chicks wou are MAAAAAAAD skinny, but that's how they are built.
It's not within your circle of influence. Leave it be. She's an adult and you saying something will just be intrusive and pardon my saying, nosy. I'm sorry, but leave the concern for your very close friends and family, and even then, not that much.0 -
One time I went out to lunch with a person I had just met. I ate tons of food (as I usually did back then when I was in my 20's). Then I went to the bathroom, cleaned a spill off of my clothes, flossed my teeth (as I always do after I eat), and used the facilities. Later she accused me of bulimia. She didn't think someone could eat as much as I do and be as slim as I am. She was so wrong. And she said that if I felt offended by her accusation it must be because it's true. Please, don't be like that. Get help for your own issues that cause you to mentally diagnose people.
My stepmom thought I was bulimic when I was a teen because I always go to the bathroom after I eat to wash my hands, and I too used to be able to eat like a horse and not gain. lol0 -
One time I went out to lunch with a person I had just met. I ate tons of food (as I usually did back then when I was in my 20's). Then I went to the bathroom, cleaned a spill off of my clothes, flossed my teeth (as I always do after I eat), and used the facilities. Later she accused me of bulimia. She didn't think someone could eat as much as I do and be as slim as I am. She was so wrong. And she said that if I felt offended by her accusation it must be because it's true. Please, don't be like that. Get help for your own issues that cause you to mentally diagnose people.
Wow, I hope you blew that chick off after that. What a tool!0 -
One time I went out to lunch with a person I had just met. I ate tons of food (as I usually did back then when I was in my 20's). Then I went to the bathroom, cleaned a spill off of my clothes, flossed my teeth (as I always do after I eat), and used the facilities. Later she accused me of bulimia. She didn't think someone could eat as much as I do and be as slim as I am. She was so wrong. And she said that if I felt offended by her accusation it must be because it's true. Please, don't be like that. Get help for your own issues that cause you to mentally diagnose people.
Wow, I hope you blew that chick off after that. What a tool!
Yeah, it was drama I didn't need. The friendship did not continue for mutual reasons. I told her that it was her issues not mine.0 -
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Unless she comes to you for advice, it's considered rude. If she does ask for help then by all means, help!0
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Echoing what's been said above.
Seriously, don't touch that with a 10000 foot pole.
You could potentially be putting yourself in an HR nightmare if you approach this in any way, or make any accusations that she may have an ED. You're assuming without facts. Let it be and focus on your job, not your coworkers.0 -
I wouldn't say anything unless she asks you for your thoughts. It's not your place to comment on someone else's body or health choices.0
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I have a cousin who's 5'2" and has rarely broken 100lb in her adult life (she's 37). She actually has gotten as low as 84lb in her late 20s and is currently in the mid-90s. She is not anorexic or bulemic, in fact she has to drink special shakes twice a day on top of her full meals to try to put on weight. This is something that's caused her serious grief all her life because people constantly accuse her of an eating disorder when she tries so hard to put on/maintain weight. She has a few different disorders, and it's heart-breaking for her, because she wants to have children of her own and can't gain enough weight to even get pregnant, so she's had to adopt. The point is, you have no clue what someone's going through, so unless you're bffs, you should leave it alone.0
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Great advice everyone. Thank you
We are a very close circle of people at work and it is not uncommon to behave like friends more than co workers. I just want to be proffesional. I'll just mind my own business and try an be supportive instead of giving advice. Always trying to better myself.0 -
I would give her a huge box of ding dongs and a copy of Karen Carpenter's biography. Then elaborate on the idea that eating disorders are total BS and that she is not gaining weight because she doesn't want it enough. Then produce some kind of Dr. Oz type supplement and tell her it should help put "meat on her bones."
...or just let her be.0 -
They need some McDonalds.0
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I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?0
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I'd be concerned about wearing ankle weights while walking or stair climbing. That's too hard on the knees and she could damage her knees doing that. :drinker:0
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I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?
I don't know! I never made any comments about her figure except for when I told her she seems that weight training would benefit her more than cardio. I also do not asume she is anorexic.0 -
My sister went through this and how me and my family approached it was with out pointing out her disorder but this girl just simply may be on the smaller size. If she does have a problem, she would have her own friends or family would be there for her. I get its hard to see someone in that state, if she actually is but you just need to be nice and stay positive.0
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ghost bulk to the rescue0
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Great advice everyone. Thank you
We are a very close circle of people at work and it is not uncommon to behave like friends more than co workers. I just want to be proffesional. I'll just mind my own business and try an be supportive instead of giving advice. Always trying to better myself.
You have responded very well to the advice in the thread. :flowerforyou:0 -
One of my co-workers (a super nice person), looks way to skinny to me. He sais she eats burgers every day, but I am not sure how many of them. I understand that is none of my business but two days ago she was talking about how she was trying to get in shape and, she is doing stairs now with weight on her ankles, and running more. I told her if anything she probably should just lift and not do any cardio as she does not look like she needs it. I was afraid of saying anything else because I understand that it is tricky. I just could not support her decision on cardio.
Have any of you ever found themselves in this situation? Can I help in any way? I hope I can, or at least not make the situation worse. Thank you in advance for all your feedback.
YOU are overstepping your place! You have a lot to lose sorry but thin people look too thin to very overweight people. and she may naturally be a thin person, I know a few of those. her choice of exercise is her business, you are not a fitness expert. many thin people run and add weights to increase their muscle mass. and maybe just maybe she is trying to make a suggestion to YOU for you to use to exercise.... you do not live with her or know her facts so you need to keep out of it!0 -
Great advice everyone. Thank you
We are a very close circle of people at work and it is not uncommon to behave like friends more than co workers. I just want to be proffesional. I'll just mind my own business and try an be supportive instead of giving advice. Always trying to better myself.
You have responded very well to the advice in the thread. :flowerforyou:
"Very well" doesn't describe it. More like incredible and gracious in light of the pile-on responses she got. I am seriously impressed with her tolerance and patience.0 -
I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?
I don't know! I never made any comments about her figure except for when I told her she seems that weight training would benefit her more than cardio. I also do not asume she is anorexic.
I understand you have not made that specific comment. I'm just asking that you put yourself in her shoes and not stick your nose in her business.0 -
Different people have different ideas of what's considered 'anorexic'. Unless there are clear health issues being displayed, you can't assume somebody has it. Even if they're tiny.
A couple of people have wondered if I'm anorexic before (as well as a lot of people stating that I'm too skinny and need to eat more). My BF is like 12%(ish). Something I have noticed is that every single one of these people have been rather overweight. Makes me wonder whether a lot of people just automatically view anyone that's significantly thinner then them as anorexic.0 -
Different people have different ideas of what's considered 'anorexic'. Unless there are clear health issues being displayed, you can't assume somebody has it. Even if they're tiny.
A couple of people have wondered if I'm anorexic before (as well as a lot of people stating that I'm too skinny and need to eat more). My BF is like 12%(ish). Something I have noticed is that every single one of these people have been rather overweight. Makes me wonder whether a lot of people just automatically view anyone that's significantly thinner then them as anorexic.
That's an intriguing observation. From personal experience, two of my sisters never ate much food growing up, and I remember one of them fainting a lot, from undereating.0 -
I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?
I don't know! I never made any comments about her figure except for when I told her she seems that weight training would benefit her more than cardio. I also do not asume she is anorexic.
I understand you have not made that specific comment. I'm just asking that you put yourself in her shoes and not stick your nose in her business.
I've been in this situation before- I started a medication that made me lose weight (I went from my ideal weight to underweight)- the doctor wanted to try it out a little longer and see if the side effects went away but finally switched me to a new medication and I gained the weight back. I looked anorexic for a few months and received comments of concern from my co-workers, people thought I had an eating disorder and I didn't. So I can share from my experience it was super embarrassing but I wasn't offended and I was glad people cared about me. Everyone reacts differently to things...
OP, I think it's great that you care about your co-worker and I want to know how to act. It's a sensitive situation because she could truly need help/ intervention. On the other hand she could be fine and bringing it up could make her really uncomfortable.0
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