Co-worker looks anorexic. Help with ideas please.

Different people have different ideas of what's considered 'anorexic'. Unless there are clear health issues being displayed, you can't assume somebody has it. Even if they're tiny.

A couple of people have wondered if I'm anorexic before (as well as a lot of people stating that I'm too skinny and need to eat more). My BF is like 12%(ish). Something I have noticed is that every single one of these people have been rather overweight. Makes me wonder whether a lot of people just automatically view anyone that's significantly thinner then them as anorexic.

That's an intriguing observation. From personal experience, two of my sisters never ate much food growing up, and I remember one of them fainting a lot, from undereating.

And this may be why you have this issue. The person that accused me of bulimia (I have never been bulimic, but have always been a hearty eater and small) had sisters that struggled with eating disorders. So, she projected her own unhealed issues onto other people.

One of my co-workers (a super nice person), looks way to skinny to me. He sais she eats burgers every day, but I am not sure how many of them. I understand that is none of my business but two days ago she was talking about how she was trying to get in shape and, she is doing stairs now with weight on her ankles, and running more. I told her if anything she probably should just lift and not do any cardio as she does not look like she needs it. I was afraid of saying anything else because I understand that it is tricky. I just could not support her decision on cardio.

Have any of you ever found themselves in this situation? Can I help in any way? I hope I can, or at least not make the situation worse. Thank you in advance for all your feedback.

You are right, it is none of your business. Unless she asks for your help or advice, mind your own.

Great advice everyone. Thank you

We are a very close circle of people at work and it is not uncommon to behave like friends more than co workers. I just want to be proffesional. I'll just mind my own business and try an be supportive instead of giving advice. Always trying to better myself.

You have responded very well to the advice in the thread. :flowerforyou:

"Very well" doesn't describe it. More like incredible and gracious in light of the pile-on responses she got. I am seriously impressed with her tolerance and patience.

x infinity

Seems most people are still missing the part where OP said she wasn't going to get involved. No need to keep telling her she's wrong when she agrees and is dropping the issue.

I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?

I don't know! I never made any comments about her figure except for when I told her she seems that weight training would benefit her more than cardio. I also do not asume she is anorexic.

no, you just said she LOOKS anorexic.

Wow, people are rude on here, this person was asking for advice not to be e-beetoch sl*pped.

My .02, is the similar. Just keep your thoughts to yourself, unless she asks for your help you shouldn't discuss her weight or eating habits with her.

All the best

Some of you are so rude!
'Is this for real? Well - I'd tell you to shove it up your *kitten*'.

Have you ever worried about someone being in trouble and wondering if you can help? Because it surely sounds like all the rude voices belong to the people who mind their own bums, yes and... don't give a heck about people they like!

The OP is not trying to preach his co-worker, the OP is simply concerned about someone he likes!

OP - not much you can do. If you are friendly enough with her, you can take her to the gym, for a session of weight lifting. Who knows - she might decide she likes this routing and adds it to her regime. Apart from that - it is sadly her choice and if she has ED, she will have to find the way out herself. The only thing others can do, is to watch the person they like carefully and help her if it looks like she needs it/is looking for it/ ok to receive that help (it certainly helps that you are concerned and not selfishly MYOB only!).

No, what is rude is to assume someone is anorexic and ask how to help her, when she has not asked for help. That is rude. I've been his co-worker and was acitvely gaining weight in a healthy manner. I'm trying to help the OP not offend his/her co-worker by sticking his/her foot in their mouth with tips that were not asked for, when she may or may not be anorexic and may be working to gain weight on her own, in a healthy manner.

A couple of people have wondered if I'm anorexic before (as well as a lot of people stating that I'm too skinny and need to eat more).

+ 1

Makes me wonder whether a lot of people just automatically view anyone that's significantly thinner then them as anorexic.

i knew i wouldn't have to search long to find my story typed out for me by someone else. MFP is great for that, even for the minority of gainers. :flowerforyou:

looks deceive.

I kind of don't see anything rude in wondering if the person is hurting themselves with too much cardio. Having ED is a first thing that springs to ones mind these days (in the past it probably would be cancer). This is not rude, this is a sign of concern. OP just wonders and OP might be wrong... or right. The said person might be taking hormones, she might have a super fast metabolism, she might struggle with IBS, but she also might be overexercising & under-eating. And OP likes the person and so is concerned.

What would be rude - OP gossiping with other co-workers as to if the described person is anorexic.Yes - rude indeed. It would be rude if OP started suggesting to the person described 'here, have a sandwich, you look like you haven't eaten for a week' be it in private or (very rude) in front of everyone. As far as I am aware - OP hasn't done either and is not planning to.

What OP seems to be doing is making sure that if there is anything they can do to help - they will. If the help is actually needed, because OP also takes into account - that there might be no need for it at all, that the problem might be something completely different.

Really no need to bash OP on the head for that - and some replies were a lot harsher or (wait for it, because it's pretty ironic) ruder, then the OP actually being concerned an expressing thing as simple as a concern.

On internet forums people read a post and have a reply. That can end up in piling on. It just happens. It helps to understand and recognize that. And not everyone has been rude. I had an initial reply. Then saw the continued responses. I made sure to express to the op that they were responding well.

I sort of wonder how this would go if the OP had said that they had a co-worker that looks obese, but talks about wanting to go to the bakery.

Also, we don't know what the person looks like, so we certainly don't feel comfortable thinking she could look anorexic.

The bottom line is that you can't do anything about her anorexia....IF she even has it. Only SHE can help herself when and if she wants the help.

There is a difference between being a caring friend and being a codependent who tries to solve everyone's problems for them. Focus on yourself and just be there for her if she ever wants your help.

I would give her a huge box of ding dongs and a copy of Karen Carpenter's biography. Then elaborate on the idea that eating disorders are total BS and that she is not gaining weight because she doesn't want it enough. Then produce some kind of Dr. Oz type supplement and tell her it should help put "meat on her bones."

...or just let her be.

^^^^^ Love this!

I do think that if you are close with someone and you notice them getting rapidly thinner and thinner, and emaciated, and you notice that they are depressed or manic, and they aren't eating or their eating habits suddenly change, it is of course ok to check in with them kindly if you are worried.

It's just that on mfp, most often we hear from very healthy people getting falsely accused of an ED or being too thin, and it is said in a very rude way (not helpful at all).

If she asks you for input, tell her to eat whole foods, complex carbs to assist her in her excercises and that will easily put good weight on her (muscle weight)
complex carbs - rice, Oatmeal
Fats - almonds, pistashios, peanut butter
Protein - chicken and turkey

otherwise, it isn't any of your business, no

Shes on her own image journey like we all are, focus on your own goals.

True... I apologize... just out of curiosity have your other co-workers mentioned anything?