do you leave your diary open?
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Mine is open to friends...I don't see any reason not to keep it open0
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That is you. So be it said and done. Not everyone have the same mindset. If I am your friend I leave my diary open (even though - I leave my diary open to strangers too) because I am here for help. When I process things, I live by the mantra of sorting through the garbage to find the hidden gem. If you take it personally, maybe you don't need a support network. You can crawl back into your closet and keep your notes on a log away from the world. Either way is your choice.
Don't feel like explaining my food choices. I don't understand the need to read and comment on other people's diaries. Or care that some of us keep them closed. Why does anyone care? Maybe you can explain that to me.Like I say, I don't get it.
Perhaps you can explain it to me, since you appear to have a better handle on it than me?
Yes, it shouldn't matter if you don't want it to matter. But if you are here for support and insight, it should matter. If you already know it all and are here for the gossip/life updates; facebook is a better option.
Just saying and it does not "matter" if you agree or disagree. It is your choice just like it is mine to keep my diary open because: 1. Keeps me on my toes 2. I have nothing to hide 3. I am here for support and to provide support 4. Because it works for me
Do what works for you and don't take everything so dang serious/personal!0 -
My diary is open to friends. I like to look at others diaries and I'm sure some of my friends like to look into mine. Don't give advice unless they ask for it- simple as that.0
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^^^^THIS0
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Mine's open, why not? Nothin' to hide.0
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I do. but I have my settings to where at the end of the day it doesn't show on my news feed that I completed my day.0
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mine's open and it's not perfect but neither am i. My diary is a reflection of me.0
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Mines open, no ones ever messaged me about it tbh.0
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Mine's open.
I'm not sure under what circumstances I would keep it private.
The whole idea seems odd to me - why be ashamed of what you're eating?
closed diary =/= ashamed of what you're eating
I agree. Not everyone who keeps a closed diary is because of shame. Assuming that it is is wrong, and not fair to those who keep it closed.
To be fair I did say I was unsure under what circumstances you would keep it closed. Being afraid of what others think and therefore being ashamed seemed like the only thing I could come up with.
Like I say, I don't get it.
Perhaps you can explain it to me, since you appear to have a better handle on it than me?
Some people are just, by nature, private. I get that. It isn't about shame, it is about not feeling the need to post every detail of your life or your experiences for other people. People have different levels of tolerance for openness in general, and about openness about certain things.
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
ETA: cause punctuation is good.0 -
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.0 -
My diary is open only to friends. I do not feel the need to have to explain everything to people. My friends already have an idea what is going on in my life. My medical issues, my emotional issues, that sort of things.0
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Mine is open to friends
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Don't feel like explaining my food choices. I don't understand the need to read and comment on other people's diaries. Or care that some of us keep them closed. Why does anyone care? Maybe you can explain that to me.Like I say, I don't get it.
Perhaps you can explain it to me, since you appear to have a better handle on it than me?
I don't care. The question was "do you leave your diary open?" My answer was: "yes". But I didn't understand why anyone would close theirs. It really is that simple. Someone ****ed in your corn flakes this morning?
There are a lot of thing more important for you to understand.. For the matter.why people do things in certain ways, if they don't hurt you, why do you try to understand just because its not your way? that's just too much energy required. 0 -
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.
I think that was just a comparison to try to help you understand, since you're having such difficulty with it.
Are you still confused or are you just being glib at this point?
Some people don't feel the need to share everything in their lives, regardless of what it may be. Whether food, hormonal functions, income, health issues, their educational level (or grades, for the younger ones), whatever it may be. Their lives are their own and they don't feel the need to share. It doesn't mean their ashamed, or they have anything to hide.0 -
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.
I think that was just a comparison to try to help you understand, since you're having such difficulty with it.
Are you still confused or are you just being glib at this point?
Some people don't feel the need to share everything in their lives, regardless of what it may be. Whether food, hormonal functions, income, health issues, their educational level (or grades, for the younger ones), whatever it may be. Their lives are their own and they don't feel the need to share. It doesn't mean their ashamed, or they have anything to hide.
Just seems like an inordinate amount of hurt feelings over something trivial to me.
Glib? No. I just expressed an opinion as to the fact I couldn't understand what would motivate people to keep their food intake a secret unless they were in some sense ashamed of it. Couldn't come up with a better reason. Got jumped on by a bunch of people who have private diaries and are outraged. Outraged, I tell ya!
There's a lot of hurt over nothing on these forums though... I'd forgotten that.0 -
Just a thought - some people keep their diary private because they don't want even the possibility of anyone jumping all over them for it. May have nothing to do with trying to hide their diet from the general population.
Mine's open, but any vegans who come after me for eating meat, or clean eaters who tell me I'm going to get cancer for eating processed foods, or die-hard IIFYM who tell me I'm not hitting mine closely enough can go pound sand unless I'm being holier-than-thou about my diet. Then I'd deserve the wake-up call.0 -
I really don't understand why people care if other's have their diary open or not. I can only think of two reasons to look at someone else's diary. 1.To get some food/snack ideas 2. Look because they asked a question pertaining to it.
Whenever I see someone base their friendship/support on an open diary immediately a red flag goes up and I think control freak who wants to nitpick a grown adult's food. Yeah with friends like that...0 -
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.
Social conventions depend on norms that we are already seeing challenged through the internet and a greater willingness of people to share information. Those social conventions are no longer as strong as they used to be. I would question the strength of that social convention when I've seen plenty of parents talk about potty-training their children in excruciating detail on FB, or when you have forums where people do, actually, discuss bodily functions (I've seen posts titles labeled TMI about bodily functions on here).
Eating doesn't have to be walled off behind social convention to be something that people choose to keep private. A lot of people, I think operate from a position of sharing for relevance, where sharing is done relevant to the task at hand. For people with closed diaries, sharing is irrelevant to their purpose for using MFP. So why should they?0 -
i leave it open i love getting advice on what to change in my diary0
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Mine's open, though I don't particularly want or need feedback - I know the changes I need to make right now. It does add that little bit more embarrassment to log three cups of dry cereal eaten in one sitting, which sometimes helps me stop at one serving. Sometimes.
Also a lot of what I eat is recipes I entered so I don't think people would know what was in it anyway. Though I suppose they could look at the macros and judge.0 -
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.
Social conventions depend on norms that we are already seeing challenged through the internet and a greater willingness of people to share information. Those social conventions are no longer as strong as they used to be. I would question the strength of that social convention when I've seen plenty of parents talk about potty-training their children in excruciating detail on FB, or when you have forums where people do, actually, discuss bodily functions (I've seen posts titles labeled TMI about bodily functions on here).
Eating doesn't have to be walled off behind social convention to be something that people choose to keep private. A lot of people, I think operate from a position of sharing for relevance, where sharing is done relevant to the task at hand. For people with closed diaries, sharing is irrelevant to their purpose for using MFP. So why should they?
Nobody has to do anything. They can do what they want.
I just couldn't understand what the problem with having an open diary was. Doesn't mean everyone has to suddenly fall down to their knees, hail king Jimmer and open their diaries, does it now?0 -
Mine is open to whomever wants to see it, jeez people it's only food...
As secretive as some of you are I really wonder if you try to hide your plate when you're in a restaurant! LoL
Well, my diary would be of no use to others because most of the entries are homemade dishes with creative names or a set of dishes that form a meal again with a creative name. For many dishes there's no indication of what the ingredients are and clicking the meal doesn't reveal the dishes. I have software for more accurate nutrient calculations so just put the entries in manually.
What software do you use?
Living Cookbook0 -
I really don't understand why people care if other's have their diary open or not. I can only think of two reasons to look at someone else's diary. 1.To get some food/snack ideas 2. Look because they asked a question pertaining to it.
Whenever I see someone base their friendship/support on an open diary immediately a red flag goes up and I think control freak who wants to nitpick a grown adult's food. Yeah with friends like that...
This! MFP gives members a choice and it is a member's right to exercise that choice when using this site. No one should have to feel the need to defend their choice either. FWIW, there are several apps and software available for calorie tracking where one can keep all of their information completely private. The only thing I like about MFP is being able to use the app and sync when away from home because we travel a lot. I'll likely be switching to software shortly though because there are more features especially the tracking of micronutrients.0 -
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.
Social conventions depend on norms that we are already seeing challenged through the internet and a greater willingness of people to share information. Those social conventions are no longer as strong as they used to be. I would question the strength of that social convention when I've seen plenty of parents talk about potty-training their children in excruciating detail on FB, or when you have forums where people do, actually, discuss bodily functions (I've seen posts titles labeled TMI about bodily functions on here).
Eating doesn't have to be walled off behind social convention to be something that people choose to keep private. A lot of people, I think operate from a position of sharing for relevance, where sharing is done relevant to the task at hand. For people with closed diaries, sharing is irrelevant to their purpose for using MFP. So why should they?
Nobody has to do anything. They can do what they want.
I just couldn't understand what the problem with having an open diary was. Doesn't mean everyone has to suddenly fall down to their knees, hail king Jimmer and open their diaries, does it now?
????
You wanted an explanation. I gave you an explanation. I never suggested you were demanding everyone open their diaries. Should I not have taken you seriously, and not tried to give a thoughtful reasoned opinion about why some people prefer to keep their diaries closed?0 -
I don't look at my friends diaries. Mine is closed.0
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Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.
Social conventions depend on norms that we are already seeing challenged through the internet and a greater willingness of people to share information. Those social conventions are no longer as strong as they used to be. I would question the strength of that social convention when I've seen plenty of parents talk about potty-training their children in excruciating detail on FB, or when you have forums where people do, actually, discuss bodily functions (I've seen posts titles labeled TMI about bodily functions on here).
Eating doesn't have to be walled off behind social convention to be something that people choose to keep private. A lot of people, I think operate from a position of sharing for relevance, where sharing is done relevant to the task at hand. For people with closed diaries, sharing is irrelevant to their purpose for using MFP. So why should they?
Nobody has to do anything. They can do what they want.
I just couldn't understand what the problem with having an open diary was. Doesn't mean everyone has to suddenly fall down to their knees, hail king Jimmer and open their diaries, does it now?
????
You wanted an explanation. I gave you an explanation. I never suggested you were demanding everyone open their diaries. Should I not have taken you seriously, and not tried to give a thoughtful reasoned opinion about why some people prefer to keep their diaries closed?
Yes, you did. And well reasoned it was too.
It was the "So, why should they?" That I was responding to. The answer, of course, is they shouldn't. They should do what they want. And my opinion, or yours for that matter, should be largely irrelevant.
I really only came into this thread to give my answer to the OP. That answer includes my position/opinion that I couldn't understand why people would want to hide their food intake. That is not to prohibit them from doing so, but rather to express my disconnect with their position. There was a lot of huffiness before, which I was surprised by. But then if people are ashamed of their diaries it makes sense they would strike out emotionally when mention was made of the fact. But, either way, there are probably as many reasons for closed diaries as there are members with closed diaries. Just idle speculation about something I really don't grasp. I don't grasp it because I don't come from a place where I would ever feel the need to close my diary....0 -
I have noticed that people will add me and then it seems like they'll delete me once they see my diary is closed lol. Meh. Shouldn't be that big of a deal.0
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Mine is open to whomever wants to see it, jeez people it's only food...
As secretive as some of you are I really wonder if you try to hide your plate when you're in a restaurant! LoL
Well, my diary would be of no use to others because most of the entries are homemade dishes with creative names or a set of dishes that form a meal again with a creative name. For many dishes there's no indication of what the ingredients are and clicking the meal doesn't reveal the dishes. I have software for more accurate nutrient calculations so just put the entries in manually.
What software do you use?
Living Cookbook
Thanks!0 -
Mine's open.
I'm not sure under what circumstances I would keep it private.
The whole idea seems odd to me - why be ashamed of what you're eating?
Just because someone keeps their diary private doesn't mean they're ashamed. LOL
I just don't feel it's necessary to publish to strangers on the internet what I eat throughout the day.
I use this site primarily to log calories. First and foremost. For ME, not you or anyone else.
The forums and interacting with people here is secondary.
I agree! It is interesting that people thinks that because a food diary is not open or because somebody doesn't put a personal picture in their profile, they must be ashamed of their eating habits or their looks, or they must have something so hide.
What a bout privacy, is that word not longer understood?0 -
Think of it this way: am I ashamed that I have a period? No. Its a normal part of being a healthy 35 year old female. But I don't go posting it on Facebook when it comes. No shame, just no need to share.
Well, there's social convention and boundaries around the open discussion of certain bodily functions. No matter how natural and unashamed we are of them.
I'm not sure eating falls into this category.
Social conventions depend on norms that we are already seeing challenged through the internet and a greater willingness of people to share information. Those social conventions are no longer as strong as they used to be. I would question the strength of that social convention when I've seen plenty of parents talk about potty-training their children in excruciating detail on FB, or when you have forums where people do, actually, discuss bodily functions (I've seen posts titles labeled TMI about bodily functions on here).
Eating doesn't have to be walled off behind social convention to be something that people choose to keep private. A lot of people, I think operate from a position of sharing for relevance, where sharing is done relevant to the task at hand. For people with closed diaries, sharing is irrelevant to their purpose for using MFP. So why should they?
Nobody has to do anything. They can do what they want.
I just couldn't understand what the problem with having an open diary was. Doesn't mean everyone has to suddenly fall down to their knees, hail king Jimmer and open their diaries, does it now?
????
You wanted an explanation. I gave you an explanation. I never suggested you were demanding everyone open their diaries. Should I not have taken you seriously, and not tried to give a thoughtful reasoned opinion about why some people prefer to keep their diaries closed?
Yes, you did. And well reasoned it was too.
It was the "So, why should they?" That I was responding to. The answer, of course, is they shouldn't. They should do what they want. And my opinion, or yours for that matter, should be largely irrelevant.
I really only came into this thread to give my answer to the OP. That answer includes my position/opinion that I couldn't understand why people would want to hide their food intake. That is not to prohibit them from doing so, but rather to express my disconnect with their position. There was a lot of huffiness before, which I was surprised by. But then if people are ashamed of their diaries it makes sense they would strike out emotionally when mention was made of the fact. But, either way, there are probably as many reasons for closed diaries as there are members with closed diaries. Just idle speculation about something I really don't grasp. I don't grasp it because I don't come from a place where I would ever feel the need to close my diary....
Perhaps the huffiness is coming from the fact that folks with closed diaries should not feel the need to explain themselves. A closed diary does not mean they are hiding anything, that they are ashamed of their food or likely anything else food related. It means they are exercising their right to privacy. You are the one being obtuse over the issue. You do you and let others do what they feel is best for them.0
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