Weirdos at Work

I actually like my current office a lot. I've had some crazy jobs with really strange coworkers, so this is refreshing. It is a tiny office (business office for a larger manufacturing plant) and I work with a husband, wife, and their adult son. They have all been here forever. They pretty much handle their drama amongst themselves, which is nice for me. I almost NEVER have to listen to them vent about each other, so that's nice!

But...

the husband is nearing retirement age and basically a figurehead. He regularly falls asleep at his desk.

the wife is early 50's and generally quite nice, she looks and acts professional and businesslike in MOST ways...but she curses ALL the time. Everything is MF, GD, etc. Especially when she's talking to her husband or son. Occasionally she does it in front of vendors or customers and they're usually men who are so taken aback by it, I find it fun to watch their reactions :-D

the son is around 30 and wears Under Armour shirts every day. Like every day. Tees, sweatshirts, jackets, and more tees. All of them with the Under Armour logo. I have seen him wear ONE t-shirt in a year that was for a video game. Every single day aside from that it's UA. I have no idea why.

Haha dang he really loves Under Armour... maybe he has stock in them or something


But speaking of people's work attire..... there are some people in my office who actually wear SWEATPANTS to work! like grey baggy sweat pants. This is supposed to be a professional office, people! :P

LOL that is pretty bad.

I worked with a woman who was probably a size S/5-6 and wore clubbing-type shirts, but they were not too crazy or revealing so they looked professional enough, and nice trousers from Express, and heels...and then EVERY DAY no matter the weather, she wound up wearing this big grey sweatshirt over her clothes. It was the kind men wear who work in construction, with a thick fuzzy white lining and industrial zipper, and it had to be a mens size XL! I get that she was cold in the frigid office, but come on...get something a bit more stylish and work-appropriate, or at least something close to your own size!!

Not sure what's weird about washing your hands before. I work dirty jobs (handling freight, counting money) and I always wash before and after.

Yes, but we work in a very clean office. And she's always cleaning her dishes and/or hands whenever I see her. So I don't think they could possibly be dirty enough to need to be cleaned pre-bathroom-business... but who knows.

I'd rather be the girl washing my hands a lot rather than the girl staring at everyone looking for imperfections.

Well, I can offer you an hour in the life scenario.

I seriously hurt back last night and the minions can smell my weakness.

After a 13 minute journey to the floor, my toddler son detected the radar signal apparently activated when my butt touched a comfortable surface, and somehow evaporated. I miraculously pulled myself to standing and followed the sound of devious silence to discover his mouth shoved full of cat food and his lunch left as a peace offering in the dish. A foot away, his 4 year old cousin was prying the lid off the litter box so she could "pee like a cat".

She hadn't even finished putting her shirt on before she came up with this brilliant thought process.

I ushered them out, shut and locked the bathrooms, turned and...bloody Hell. He's caught an ant and unsuccessfully tried to eat it. It just hung there on his lip, twitching. Clearly, pizza is not his food of choice.

I buckled that dude in a high chair and realized the niece is MIA again. At that point, my mode of transportation was comparable to a dog scooting his butt across the carpet.

Locating the child required hollering her name 10+ times and a severe rug burn on the butt cheeks. She managed to wedge herself into a drawer under her mom's bed. I strongly considered leaving her there, then pulled her out while openly weeping at the electrifying pain shooting down my leg. I offered her a "neat snack" and she declined.
Fine.
"How about a super duper yucky snack and a movie?"
Of course, she agreed.

I began the trek on all fours to the VCR when suddenly I was drilled into the ground by a four year old heathen who decided to abandon her Chex for the 'horse' and jumped off the couch directly onto my back. I collapsed, wishing for death. After the dry heaving ceased, I made it to all fours to realize my spine had been ejected through my abdomen and there was very little chance of putting it back.

Anyway, now we are waiting on a neighbor to take me to the hospital.

I used to work with an older man, close to retirement, who would fall asleep at his desk multiple times a day. He'd sit at his desk facing his computer (I'm at an office job), but his head would be almost down to his chest. Behind his back, we used to call him "The Napster". Sometimes to wake him up and not embarass him, we'd call his phone. The ring would wake him up and we'd hang up without saying anything.

I work with a secretary who has been in three car accidents. She's a very nervous driver. She sits so close to the steering wheel, gripping it tightly in her hands. That plus the fact she always does the sign of the cross before she starts the car makes me afraid to be in the car with her. Now I just offer to use my car instead.

I used to work with a guy who would not talk to you but whistle his intended message to you. For example, if he thought you and another coworker were talking too much- he'd whistle "You Talk Too Much" around you.

He was a bit batty but he also worked on mercury analysis in an poorly ventilated room. Sooo yaknow....


The day after I quit that place was raided by the EPA. I missed all the fun.

I work with 30 females and 3 males.
I assure you every single one of us is a weirdo in our own way. There is NEVER a dull moment here. But i have heard through the grapevine I'm the office weirdo because I eat plain bubbies sauerkraut from the jar at my desk. They threaten to video me daily. I don't find it strange though. *reaches for sauerkraut*

I used to work with a guy who would not talk to you but whistle his intended message to you. For example, if he thought you and another coworker were talking too much- he'd whistle "You Talk Too Much" around you.

He was a bit batty but he also worked on mercury analysis in an poorly ventilated room. Sooo yaknow....


The day after I quit that place was raided by the EPA. I missed all the fun.

How does one whistle words?

He's whistling SONGS. With MESSAGES.

I see nothing.

I work with this chick who talks to herself all the time, drinks so much water and tea she gets up to pee every 45 minutes and sends co-workers unsolicited cat pictures.


Oh wait, that's me..

I work with a woman that is a talker. The kind of talk like, "You know what happened Tuesday? Oh wait, was it Tuesday? It might have been Wednesday. Oh yeah, it was Wednesday because I had pizza on Wednesday. I remember . . ." Aaaaah! I want to puncture my eardrums.

Especially when she tells me sex stories about she and her husband. She's about 67 years old. Gah . . . I mean, I'm glad they're getting busy and all, but please! And no thank you.

:grumble:

I'm fairly certain I AM the weirdo.