People's negative comments on weight loss goal

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Replies

  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    People are mostly trying to reassure you that you look good now, probably, and like others have said have a skewed idea of what different weights look like. Also, shorter people can look good at 125, so it might just be one of those weird things where someone who is happy at 5'3 and 130 feels like their weight is called into question if you want to be lighter than that.

    How you will look, though, depends on your build. I spent my late teens and early 20s thinking I was too heavy at 125 and wanting to lose 15 lbs (not that I ever did anything about this but feel unhappy with myself), and while 110 is good weight for many of my height (5'3), looking at photos of back then I don't think it would have been ideal for me. So just evaluate as you lose to see where you feel good or might want to focus more on gaining muscle. But in the abstract 125 and 5'5 is a perfectly good goal.

    Edit: I think your plan sounds like an excellent one. You seem to have it together!
  • Steff46
    Steff46 Posts: 516 Member
    I am 5' 5" and my CW is 140.5 down from 156. I have been 125 when I was younger and way more active. It is not an unhealthy weight for your height. Congrats on your weight loss to date!
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    Currently my BMI is 25.8, I am overweight.

    At 125lbs my BMI will be 20.8, a healthy weight.

    There is just such a huge range of weight that is considered "healthy." My best friend who keeps telling me I will look sick if I am that small is 5'6 118. She just keeps telling me, "I look fine, but YOU will look too small."

    I don't want to look sick but I also want to feel like the best me.

    If you get to a point where you think you look sick, then simply switch to maintenance. Just because you set your goal at 125 doesn't mean you MUST get to that weight. Leave your goal as is for now, and adjust later, if YOU want.

    This!^

    Losing weight slowly will help you keep lean muscle. The more muscle you keep, the better you look at a higher weight. The scale is just a number. You will figure it out as you get closer.
  • enoliaa
    enoliaa Posts: 28 Member
    Human beings provide feedbacks based on their own values and beliefs so don't take it any of it personal, sometimes it could feel hurtful or de-motivating but it is just who they are, it does not define you. In short, don't mind others and focus on what you want and need!
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
    Currently my BMI is 25.8, I am overweight.

    At 125lbs my BMI will be 20.8, a healthy weight.

    There is just such a huge range of weight that is considered "healthy." My best friend who keeps telling me I will look sick if I am that small is 5'6 118. She just keeps telling me, "I look fine, but YOU will look too small."

    I don't want to look sick but I also want to feel like the best me.

    Your goal is a perfectly healthy one. And kudos for going SLLLOOOWWW! That's my plan, too. (I'm 5'6", no set-in-stone goal weight--just slim, healthy, strong).

    Your friend sounds, hmmm, perhaps just not "ready" to imagine you as something other than "bigger" than her (no offense, I've been the "fat" friend and in my skinny past, the "skinny" friend--so I know both sides). Not that it's bad, or jealousy, or anything. Just that it's difficult for some people to see others' potential (body-wise). That's okay, since the only thing that matters is YOUR motivation and realizing YOUR own potential.

    And seriously, your friend don't see a difference at 10 lbs down--so why are they hung up on 20 more suddenly "sickly"? Nah, it's okay, do your thing, if it's confusing for them to understand your goals, quit mentioning the numbers to them.
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  • amblight
    amblight Posts: 350 Member
    Generally people have no idea what a certain weight looks like, especially if it's not near their own stats. They have even less idea of what a certain weight OFF will look like, especially if they don't have any experience with weight loss.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    There is just such a huge range of weight that is considered "healthy." My best friend who keeps telling me I will look sick if I am that small is 5'6 118. She just keeps telling me, "I look fine, but YOU will look too small."

    Haha, I had that friend once! Except I am 5'2" and she was 5'7" but she felt sure she looked great at 118 while I did not. :huh: People are strange creatures. For your own sanity, you might want to not give her any more numbers!
  • chantellejohno
    chantellejohno Posts: 3
    Sometimes I think friends are slightly jealous that you've decided to do something about it and you're looking better!
    I was the fat friend for too long and now I'm trying to lose the weight, they say anything to make me eat what they do and waste my time like they do. Not going to happen! Keep going!
  • stuffinmuffin
    stuffinmuffin Posts: 985 Member
    People have made all manner of unpleasant comments to me on my weight loss journey and some of them from colleagues and unexpectedly from some close friends. I've had people try to 'feed' me, make snarky comments if I turn down cake, go out for exercise, whatever really.

    However, I have also had some amazing comments and great support from other people and other loved ones. I've made new friends, I have fitness pretty much as an enjoyable and somewhat sociable hobby now.

    Just ignore the negativity. It's a very personal journey and at the end of the day it's YOU that will be HEALTHIER & HAPPIER, so screw what anyone else thinks/says.
  • popshoveit
    popshoveit Posts: 42
    I'm the same height, I'm 123lbs and don't look remotely "sick". I understand that all bodies are different though and what looks like a good weight on some may not be the case for others, etc.
    Tell them you want to focus on your health and that you're sure you will look strong and healthy and not "sick".
    It's funny how people are so quick to fret over how unhealthy a lower weight is, but it's wrong to say anything negative about heavier weights.
    My whole life I heard my mom comment on anyone she felt was "too skinny, too skinny" but rarely would she say a word about anybody who was a cheeseburger away from a heart attack. Because that's ok?
  • runnergirlbell
    runnergirlbell Posts: 6 Member
    You seem to know what's right for you and are going about the process in a thoughtful, healthy manner. That being said, if it were me, I would seriously re-evaluate this "friend". REAL friends shouldn't be threatened by your successes or view you as potential competition...which is what this sounds like. She can get on board with what you're doing, be proud and supportive, or get out. Just me and my low-threshold-for-drama opinion.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    I get that a lot, I get that I probably weigh more than I look, but no one knows my body better than me. Even if I carry it well, I know I have quite a bit of fat that I still need to lose, but I just tell people who dare make a comment that I'm focusing on building muscle, which is true.

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