unsupportive friend

I went out with a guy for a while, who during that time lost 70 lbs in a year. I lost 20 lbs along beside him, which was great, because before that he was actually sabotaging my diet inadvertently, taking me out for really big meals and such---he could pack away a lot of food, and always ordered dessert...

(Sorry, my mind wandered at "dessert.")

Anyway, although I was really proud of him, and enjoyed watching him morph from a pudgy middle-age guy to a Greek god (yes, he was beautiful), I got thoroughly tired of his droning on about "calorie restriction." And he wouldn't let me cook anything for him. (I was not trying to sabotage his diet...after all, I was cooking for my weight loss, too.)

So, if the friend isn't willing to hear about your success, it may be that it in some way makes her feel criticized. Stop talking with her about weight, but continue to politely decline the calorie bombs.

I would say you need to just confront her about it. Let her know how much you value the freindship and how much her lack of support hurts you. If she really is a good friend, she will admit her fault and try to be more supportive. You can encourage her to take the journey with you. Maybe she really does want to lose weight but lacks the confidence and support herself.

Could be jealousy or bitterness. Maybe she's unhappy with her weight and body. She sees you making a positive change for yourself and it amplifies her sadness and bitterness. She's trying to drag you down to her level.

Surround yourself with people who are going to encourage and motivate you to hit your goals. You're doing it for yourself and if someone can't support you in that endeavor then that speaks volumns about your relationship. Maybe it's additional weight you need to shed.

Congrats on your progress. Keep going.

i have definitely encountered that before. i had a friend tell me that i was being rediculous because i decided that i didnt want to go out and party anymore for a while til i found my "groove" and felt i could handle all that comes along with going out. the dinners, drinks and after drinking food...i didnt even want to deal with that because i couldnt control myself at the time. While yes, that IS my problem, i was really taken aback when she told me that stopping all together was a bad idea. why? what makes it so bad if it works for me?? She was extremely mean and hateful about it and i didnt want or need that kind of negativieity in my life. i unfortunately had to cut that friendship short. it wasnt just that that she was negative towards me about, it was a plethora of things, constantly telling me what to do, cutting me down, the works!!
if she is your best friend, TALK to her. tell her how youre feeling. if she truly is your best friend and cares about your feelings, she will change. if not, you may have to do what i did. my feelings and overall health and happiness meant nothing to this so-called friend of mine, so thats why i chose the path i did.
i hope she comes around. Friends are SO important on this journey!!! good luck and keep us posted!!
Feel free to add me as a friend if you like.

This is just how women are, unfortunately.

Oh, Sonic, Sonic, Sonic. This is how some human beings are, unfortunately.

Nope, just women

Edited to add that y'all are known to buy clothes/shoes just so other women can't have them :laugh:

This is just how women are, unfortunately.

Really? Because not one of my friends acted like that with me, in this whole process. Not one.

How about being honest with your best friend? "BFF, I love you and I love our friendship. The reality is that I'm changing my lifestyle to be more healthy and to lose weight. I'm sad that you do that eye roll thing and that instead of cheering me forward you are negative."

Then if she continues this behavior, rethink the friendship. The situation is somewhat analogous to a recovering alcoholic who should drop his drinking buddies who continue to create a drinking environment. She wants you to be her cheesecake and pizza friend, not her salad friend. If a falling out ensues, so be it.

^ ^ agree!

Overweight people that keep saying they are happy with their size are all lying to themselves and everyone around them. No one is happy being tired, sick and unable to do normal daily activities without getting winded. They are just afraid to try to make the change. There can be many reasons why but in the end they are just afraid and don't want the people around them to change either. As someone else said....Misery loves company.

I gotta say, this is kind of inaccurate, being happy with your size is something different than being unable to do normal everyday activities(you can still be large and be fit) and I think in order to actually make a change, you have to like yourself enough to do it.

ANYWAYS OP, I would say I fall into the un-supportive friend category, one of my really close friends lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw her(we go to school in different states) and it took me a while to come to terms with it, so I kind of just don't talk about it around her, but honestly she motivated me to really do it this time. And I think I can see where your friend is coming from, but I've also learned if people can't be supportive, you're better off without them, even if you think you need them. Someone else will come along, or you'll be able to surround yourself with more supportive people.

TL;DR
Drop the "friend", make new more supportive friends

If she's your best friend, why can't you tell her how you feel as opposed to a public forum?

This.

Also, it's nice when people support you but it doesn't make good people, bad people when they don't take an active interest in something important to you. Things that are for you, are for you, not anyone else. I met up with a friend that I hadn't seen in years. The last time we got together, I was nearly 200 lbs. I'm now 155. She didn't say anything about it (she did say she liked the way I was doing my hair now) but I also didn't say anything about it to her. Why? There are more important aspects to interpersonal relationships than my weight.

Your weight and your weight loss might be a huge deal to you. It is not and never will be a truly huge deal to anyone else (unless you become a celebrity weight loss/fitness guru).