I'm in an abusive relationship.

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Replies

  • geekishgirl
    geekishgirl Posts: 117 Member
    This is so beautifully written. Congrats to you for recognizing a toxic relationship and putting an end to it. It's time I do that myself.


    And yes, I do know who the OP is talking about in this post.
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    I did get that it wasn't her husband, but could not figure out who she was talking about. Mother, sister, not so friendly friend??
    herself
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    I just went through a divorce after being married for 15 years and two kids. My ex is physicaly and emotionally abusive. It is the hardest thing I had to do and I have to do co-parenting with him, so I have lost time with my children. You should never have to go through life with someone who treats you badly. For me the re-building is very hard and I have to take one day at a time.

    Oh boy. Please re-read. I understand how you read it, but OP was referring to her own negative self-image, not her SO, whom she refers to as quite supportive.
  • DeeVanderbles
    DeeVanderbles Posts: 589 Member
    Definitely not where I thought this post was going. A-freaking-men, sister. Well put!
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    Love this post, it is so true for so many of us on here.
  • gvrbabygirl
    gvrbabygirl Posts: 12 Member
    When I saw this post title, I immediately thought to myself "Oh no! Let me jump in and be as supportive as I possibly can...poor girl!" I could not be more pleased with this post. How AWESOME!

    Way to go, thank you for the inspiration! I think I need to do some emotional housekeeping as well.

    Great post!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    I did get that it wasn't her husband, but could not figure out who she was talking about. Mother, sister, not so friendly friend??
    herself

    Yeah, I got that now (after your post above).
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    alot of people are misunderstanding op's post, its about breaking up with a negative attitude not her husband (whom she mentions is very supportive)

    kudos to you, getting rid of that mentality is the toughest thing one can do, im still fighting for it

    I did get that it wasn't her husband, but could not figure out who she was talking about. Mother, sister, not so friendly friend??

    It's filled with "I" statements, so I felt pretty safe assuming she was talking about herself. lol.
  • What a great and encouraging post! If I wouldn't let someone else treat me that way, why should I treat myself that way!!! Very inspiring and needed. Thank you!
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    So I've decided to break up with this person. End this terrible relationship. It's taken years of abuse to finally come to this decision. I'm breaking up with my bad attitude and horrible outlook. The hardest relationship to end is the one with your negative self image.

    AMEN! I need to break up with my bad attitude too! We are our worst critic at times, aren't we?
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    It's filled with "I" statements, so I felt pretty safe assuming she was talking about herself. lol.

    ?? She talks about herself in the third person, not as I. "This person always compares..." "this person isn't very motivating" "they make me feel like garbage"

    I get that it was purposeful to make a point, but it's not as if she said "that person in the mirror" or, as you suggest, "I".
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    As a masochist, I wish I had more self loathing in my relationship with myself.
    As a sadist, when you brought this up with yourself, did you reply, "NO!!" ??

    OP: Bravo. That is all.
  • carisone
    carisone Posts: 31 Member
    I came to this post wanting to support a sister in dire need, I leave this post having been supported by a sister!!! Way to go, awesome post!!
  • Yep, most missed her point here. Anyhow! Good for you! I wish you all the best!
  • jenbroussard71
    jenbroussard71 Posts: 281 Member
    Great post! I need to get rid of my negative self image too....
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    LOVE this. I enjoyed reading it. You've got this, girl!

    P.S. You're beautiful and have awesome boobs (I like men but I had to admit it LOL) :flowerforyou:
  • Maryam4eva
    Maryam4eva Posts: 33 Member
    This person always compares me to other girls. Always grabs my baby fat. Always picks and points to the things I am most insecure about. Constantly tells me how fat and unattractive I am. To make matters worse, this person isn't very motivating. Always says how I can't do this exercise, or when I do, how moronic I look. This is suppose to be the person I love most in the world, and they make make me feel like garbage on a daily basis. Why am I not good enough for this person? It hurts.

    So I've decided to break up with this person. End this terrible relationship. It's taken years of abuse to finally come to this decision. I'm breaking up with my bad attitude and horrible outlook. The hardest relationship to end is the one with your negative self image.

    From this day forward, I vow to be kind to myself. I vow to put on a bathing suit and rock it with pride. I vow to work my butt off, but not feel guilty about a cookie with my son. I earned this body by making a beautiful baby. I will never get rid of the stretch marks and I will never look like I did before, but I am finally going to start listening to my amazing husband and see myself as the beautiful sexy woman he tells me I am. I will continue to work hard, because I want to be in great shape, but it will not come from the abuse of my negativity.

    “The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

    ― Audrey Hepburn

    Most of us are also our own worst enemies - well done for recognising that and for vowing to be kinder to yourself. Yep - listen to your fantastic hubby - your child adores you and wants you to be around a long time, so yes, live healthily, eat sensibly, exercise to keep yourself fit and active and MOST of all enjoy doing stuff with them and enjoy life

    Thank you for the reminder
    :flowerforyou:
    BOOM!!!!
  • PunkyDucky
    PunkyDucky Posts: 283 Member
    I love it!! I do it all the time..i'm changing my negativity about my body around. Thank you for this OP
    :flowerforyou:

    My-friend-is-vegan.gif
  • ruthbs
    ruthbs Posts: 14
    SO can relate. I just look in the mirror once in a while and say: Self, STFU and I love you! :)
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    where's the "standing ovation" GIF when you need it?
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    I love it!! I do it all the time..i'm changing my negativity about my body around. Thank you for this OP
    :flowerforyou:

    My-friend-is-vegan.gif

    ...touche. ;)
  • pittdan77
    pittdan77 Posts: 98 Member
    Good for you. Move on! There's somebody out there who will love you for you.
  • Ulwaz
    Ulwaz Posts: 380 Member
    This happened too me as well, had to get out of there, ended up losing alot of weight because he basically never offered me food and i stayed at his all the time and told me i was ugly/fat :/

    add me for support <3 so proud of you for getting out of there! you are so pretty as well
  • lambchristie
    lambchristie Posts: 552 Member
    Good post, and love the Audrey Hepburn quote.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    if-you-talked-to-your-friends-the-way-you-talk-to-your-body-quote-610.jpg

    I was not able to stick to my workouts or better eating habits until I quit the crazy, negative self-talk. It is quite difficult to take care of yourself when you are hateful to yourself. It's great you were able to recognize how you were holding yourself back and then make positive changes.
  • gmoneycole
    gmoneycole Posts: 813 Member
    Kick that B to the curb and treat yourself right! Great post! Now stick to your guns and make it happen! Be happy!
  • annalicous
    annalicous Posts: 55 Member
    I'm glad that you decided to share your life story with all of us. You may not realise it but you are very inspiring. The fact that you have realised that things are not the way that they are supposed to be in your relationship is the first step. The fact that you want to leave is the second and the third is when your finally leave. Nobody should have to suffer at the hands of somebody that is supposed to love them. Whether its physical abuse, verbal abuse or any other kind of abuse. You are worth it and i am glad that you know this. You deserve so much better, you deserve to have a partner that loves you no matter what size you are. Somebody that loves you whether you are a size 8 or a size 28. Someone who is willing to workout with you, walk with you, motivate you and inspire you. Leaving a relationship is always hard especially when you have been with someone for so long. As much as you may love your partner you need to be your own priority and put yourself first. You are beautiful, and every time you need a reminder all you need to do my love is look in the mirror. You may not be where you are right now but you are making positive changes to get you to where you need to be. x
  • HannahLynn91
    HannahLynn91 Posts: 238 Member
    You wrote a wonderful post and I love the analogy!

    Too bad so many people decided to comment without fully reading it, because it was beautifully written.
  • HannahLynn91
    HannahLynn91 Posts: 238 Member
    This was such an awesome OP, and people not reading it or worse completely lacking comprehension and then not reading other comments is an eye opener. If you are going to take part in a forum (a place, meeting, or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.) Please at least read the ideas....many people would have gained by reading the OP and coming into a post and not even caring enough to read the original post is just inconsiderate.

    Those that just misunderstood it at first, not you guys......we all scan too quickly while working or what not.....but not reading it at all is just rude.

    +1 :)
  • aleggett321
    aleggett321 Posts: 186 Member
    What a beautifully and creatively written post. It gave me some thinking to do about myself.

    I absolutely loved the Audrey Hepburn quote and saved it to read to my daughter.

    Thanks OP.