Finding Happiness as an Adult

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  • sqezme
    sqezme Posts: 3 Member
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    Good question,,, I am still looking for it.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    No "Thing", place, person, or time makes me happy. Happiness is a mindset. You choose to be happy, regardless of the situation you are in. That is the only way to be truly happy. You think, therefore you are.

    The people who believe they require something to make them happy will never be happy with anything.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    That I care much less about what others think of me. That's been hard won. I'm in my 40s; it took me a while to get there.
  • Lonestar5775
    Lonestar5775 Posts: 740 Member
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    No "Thing", place, person, or time makes me happy. Happiness is a mindset. You choose to be happy, regardless of the situation you are in. That is the only way to be truly happy. You think, therefore you are.

    The people who believe they require something to make them happy will never be happy with anything.


    ^^^^Nailed it!
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Realizing you have no real meaning, impact or importance also lends one to realize that our mere existence is an improbability in this universe. I'm thankful that I even get this chance to be a part of something so vast, even if my existence is short and meaningless, at least I am somehow here to witness a glimpse of this strange and crazy place. I try to learn, live and enjoy whatever this existence is, even though I do also believe it is completely meaningless.

    :flowerforyou: we share a common bond. I am thankful we live in this strange and crazy universe as well - and you never know - due to quantum mechanics providing evidence of potential parallel universes, and M-Theory - we may as a species uncover a purpose sometime down the road, maybe not for mankind and humans - but of the universe's existence. - that is something to look forward towards.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    I dunno, I'm happy pretty much every day and I don't have to try for it.

    I know I'm lucky. I have a good job and a kind boss, nice place to live, enough disposable income that I never worry about paying my bills or buying groceries, no kids to care for, a wonderful boyfriend and incredible friends, a small but loving family, good physical and mental health...and I am thankful every day for all those privileges.

    I am into savouring little things too: cute fluffy dogs on my way to work, reading a new book, a drink on my sunny balcony, ten minutes cuddling in bed before I have to get up, making plans for weekend trips, wearing my favourite shoes, whatever.

    I'm not rich/super successful/incredibly well-liked or talented/really attractive but I find I don't need to be. I have worked to make my life the way I want it and i am just really grateful every day that I have all the things I have, both material and intangible.

    I posted before seeing this, but you described my feelings and attitude about this topic EXACTLY. Down to every single detail except that I am married, so it's wonderful husband instead of boyfriend. But otherwise, exactly the same :-)
  • laurie04427
    laurie04427 Posts: 421 Member
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    What makes you happy as you progress into adulthood?
    As one continues to mature they realize that many things that make them 'happy' are temporary, artificial, or trivial - what makes you most happy?
    I think it's nice to enjoy the trivial. My kitten greets me at the door every day when I get home. Even though my hubby is at home during the day so it's not like she's lonely. This is trivial and it tickles me lol.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    No "Thing", place, person, or time makes me happy. Happiness is a mindset. You choose to be happy, regardless of the situation you are in. That is the only way to be truly happy. You think, therefore you are.

    The people who believe they require something to make them happy will never be happy with anything.


    ^^^^Nailed it!

    I certainly see your point - it is how and why I force myself to smile, and smile often - it is indeed a mindset - but as I'm getting older - I just had a co-worker tell me that I'm an 'old soul' today - I'm realizing more and more how truly void of reason there is too be happy - not to say that being happy isn't of incredible importance.

    I guess my thinking on this stemmed a great deal from a txt from the primary lady I started dating yesterday saying "IDK what I want to do with my life"

    I said, "If you are referring to your career, doors will open, just be willing to walk through them and decide if you would rather be happy or feel valued, and work in that direction. If you are referring to us - you already got both baby :wink: "

    Her response "sheeesh I just mean idk what i wanna do right now"


    :laugh:
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    What makes you happy as you progress into adulthood?
    As one continues to mature they realize that many things that make them 'happy' are temporary, artificial, or trivial - what makes you most happy?
    I think it's nice to enjoy the trivial. My kitten greets me at the door every day when I get home. Even though my hubby is at home during the day so it's not like she's lonely. This is trivial and it tickles me lol.

    ^reminds me of that article in Times magazine a few months ago about savoring the taste of a raisin and feeling out and tasting not only the taste but the texture - it surely should bring a smile to ones face.

    Glad to read how happy you both are. :flowerforyou:
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
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    Honestly i'm not sure if i'd recognize super happy if it bit me on the butt. I've never been happy from the time i was little to now. There's moments of contentment which comes from friends and relationships but i know that it's all going to end one day and it just reminds me of how little there is to be happy about. I find escapism the same way i always have: gaming and comic books, not the most grown up of things but what can i say.
  • Priincess_Natalie
    Priincess_Natalie Posts: 367 Member
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    Realizing you have no real meaning, impact or importance also lends one to realize that our mere existence is an improbability in this universe. I'm thankful that I even get this chance to be a part of something so vast, even if my existence is short and meaningless, at least I am somehow here to witness a glimpse of this strange and crazy place. I try to learn, live and enjoy whatever this existence is, even though I do also believe it is completely meaningless.

    :flowerforyou: we share a common bond. I am thankful we live in this strange and crazy universe as well - and you never know - due to quantum mechanics providing evidence of potential parallel universes, and M-Theory - we may as a species uncover a purpose sometime down the road, maybe not for mankind and humans - but of the universe's existence. - that is something to look forward towards.

    Uncovering a purpose for the existence of the universe would be amazing.

    For now I'm just going to enjoy the beauty of the strangeness in all of it :)
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
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    The more gratitude and humility I express, the more happiness I obtain. However, I think gratitude is key.
  • Bri_Becq
    Bri_Becq Posts: 146 Member
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    I collect moments, not things. Being places with the people I love is my happiness.
  • Priincess_Natalie
    Priincess_Natalie Posts: 367 Member
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    Also, your intelligence is rare, interesting and beautiful. I hope you find your happy. It would be a shame for someone like you to exist without enjoyment in it.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    By the way, I suggest you stop trying to learn to be happy on an intellectual level. My personal experience has been that the more I learn, the closer to nihilism I get. Once you start trying to comprehend yourself and your place in the universe you start to realize just how inconsequential you (and indeed all of us, individually and as a species) truly are. Which is not to say it's an understanding you shouldn't pursue - just for the love of everything good don't hinge your happiness on it.

    One interesting thing I learned long ago was the art of 'fake it until you make it'. Often times, your mind will follow your actions. The simplest example is when someone asks "how are you?". So many of us answer this question with a half hearted 'not bad' or 'ok'. I make a point to answer enthusiastically and positively - regardless of how I actually feel. "I'm great!", "I'm fantastic!", "Very well, thank you, very well indeed!". Try it for a month. It may seem trivial, but I guarantee you'll be happier at the end of the month than at the beginning. That sort of positive reinforcement really has an impact on the brain.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    By the way, I suggest you stop trying to learn to be happy on an intellectual level. My personal experience has been that the more I learn, the closer to nihilism I get. Once you start trying to comprehend yourself and your place in the universe you start to realize just how inconsequential you (and indeed all of us, individually and as a species) truly are. Which is not to say it's an understanding you shouldn't pursue - just for the love of everything good don't hinge your happiness on it.

    One interesting thing I learned long ago was the art of 'fake it until you make it'. Often times, your mind will follow your actions. The simplest example is when someone asks "how are you?". So many of us answer this question with a half hearted 'not bad' or 'ok'. I make a point to answer enthusiastically and positively - regardless of how I actually feel. "I'm great!", "I'm fantastic!", "Very well, thank you, very well indeed!". Try it for a month. It may seem trivial, but I guarantee you'll be happier at the end of the month than at the beginning. That sort of positive reinforcement really has an impact on the brain.

    stop-thinking-and-do.jpg

    There's no point in thinking about what it is to be happy. Just do it and it will come to you.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    <snip>

    One interesting thing I learned long ago was the art of 'fake it until you make it'. Often times, your mind will follow your actions. The simplest example is when someone asks "how are you?". So many of us answer this question with a half hearted 'not bad' or 'ok'. I make a point to answer enthusiastically and positively - regardless of how I actually feel. "I'm great!", "I'm fantastic!", "Very well, thank you, very well indeed!". Try it for a month. It may seem trivial, but I guarantee you'll be happier at the end of the month than at the beginning. That sort of positive reinforcement really has an impact on the brain.

    This is how I've been living the last few years. People ask me how I'm happy all the time with everything going on at home. If I didn't smile, I'd cry.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    .
  • itodd4019
    itodd4019 Posts: 340 Member
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    What makes you happy as you progress into adulthood?
    As one continues to mature they realize that many things that make them 'happy' are temporary, artificial, or trivial - what makes you most happy?
    I think it's nice to enjoy the trivial. My kitten greets me at the door every day when I get home. Even though my hubby is at home during the day so it's not like she's lonely. This is trivial and it tickles me lol.

    ya see now... that's the good stuff!
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    I collect moments, not things. Being places with the people I love is my happiness.

    ^this is wonderful :) I really like this point - I guess happiness is largly just being able to enable yourself to live in the moment, and embrace the moment-and then that feeling is amplified when it is in the company of those you love. - reminds me of 'Into the Wild'

    'Happiness only when shared'


    @Priincess_Nat thanks! :flowerforyou: I enjoy a great deal of activities and LOVE people, truly cherish and think they are special - I just have been having a great deal of head junk trying to form the 'why' behind all of this.

    @stumblinthrul- I was talking to a trainer at my job about this when he was brought in to help develop our personal goals (optional) I was very candid with him about all of this, and he said (he has a doctorate and is a gazillion times more polished and knowledgeable then me - a bit of a role model) the exact same thing - especially for those of us that suffer with insomnia - we torture ourselves trying to form a why, and trying to uncover happiness all the while we continue taking another breath after another breath towards our pending death towards nothingness. - he said wear a mask until it's no longer a mask, he did and still does. He said do that or lie to your intellect and believe with your heart any uplifting religion.

    Coincides with your point, which is wise -fake it till you make it... when I was an addict I started faking I was better, worked my tail off all the while as well, but I needed to surround myself with positive people so I faked it and faked it, never bringing up the demons screaming in my head to revert back to a lifestyle of debauchery and hedonism- and then one day I realized it had been over two years, not even contemplating or feeling tempted to use, verses measuring my simple non-use.

    You are correct to get better, and this must be a similar task where I must 'fake it until you make it' - it is easy to be candid about it over a forum, much harder in practice but I will be putting it more in practice - I do however truly wear a smile everywhere I go - I'm in sales for Pete's sake - and believe me when someone asks "how are you?" I always give the following three responses:

    "Baby, you know! I'm always good"
    "I'm feeling so upbeat I was thinking of starting my own band"
    "If I was doing any better I'd be sinning."

    followed by a wink, or a smile, or a sexy gnaw on my lower lip.. :wink:

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