I'm ready to give up

Skip breakfast, eat your first meal at noon, and see what happens.

Eat pretty much anything you want at other times.

Counting calories is boring.

I bet you will survive.

At least.

This will screw up your metabolism.

I know how you feel. I am 46, 5'2", with an RMR of about 1300 which is slightly below the average for my age/height. So that leaves me very little wiggle room for what to eat. I started at 140 and just wanted to lose 10 pounds, but that 10 pounds is next to impossible. I have always worked out consistently throughout my life (3-4 x/wk) and know that upping my exercise was not the answer. I did increase my weights when I lift though and try to throw in a hike once a week.

So it had to come from my diet. I wanted something sustainable. I looked at the foods that I ate and tried to increase foods that made me feel full longer (eggs, cottage cheese, meat, oats, nuts) and tried to reduce foods like bread, rice, pasta, totillias. Its not that I don't eat carbs, I do, but I eat them knowing that I will be hungry again sooner and I will have to account for that. I have increased veges since they tend to have so little calories and lots of good nutrients. I also cut my portion sizes. I started by logging my food to get an idea of portion sizes etc. but I don't log my food now because it makes me focus too much on FOOD if that makes any sense. I start to focus on what to eat for this and that, thinking about my next meal. And in reality no matter how hard you try it will never be completely accurate, just like you will never really know exactly how many calories your body is expending.

This is sustainable for me. I don't weigh myself daily, just once a week because it pops into my head to do it. I want to get away from the scale and focus on how I feel and how my clothes feel.

If you feel like you eat too much because you are alone perhaps get an active hobby? Try finding people that like to do what you like through meetup or your community center. Try to make it a group is not centered on food/drinks but an activity. If you feel obligated to eat certain foods, take a few bites of a few items so you can see how they taste. If you want a larger meal take it into account and exercise extra that day or the next. When you visit your daughters just be mindful of what you are eating to help with portions and throw in a daily walk with them. Think of maintaining while on vacation rather than losing weight.

Don't give up. Do what is sustainable for you and moves you towards your goal.

How tall are you??

I started out on 1200+exercise calories and it worked for awhile, until it didn't. I learned from some of the 'meanies' on here about TDEE-% and looked into that.

I started eating 1200 calories a day, just like MFP told me to do. I felt so righteous eating Laughing Cow cheese on a dry English muffin for breakfast, a salad for lunch and small portions at dinner. I joined the local gym and was amazed when I was able to walk for 30 minutes straight on the treadmill. I was doing awesome! But I was also hungry, kinda miserable and definitely wanting the good food I was accustomed to. I no longer enjoyed eating, it gave me no pleasure or satisfaction. It became a chore to eat the bare minimum of calories. Yes, dieting sucked!!

I started reading in the forums and found “In Place of a Road Map”. That single post changed my life! I learned about TDEE, BMR and a sustainable lifestyle. My weight loss strategy suddenly changed from a temporary diet to a long term way of life – one of eat a little less, move a little more.

I have lost 50+ lbs with that strategy. I eat TDEE-500 calories, walk about 15-20miles/week and do strength training (honestly, I'm not consistent enough to see any real results yet, but I will get there). The best part is that losing weight is not a chore, a job. It is a new lifestyle I fully embrace and enjoy.

Just try the suggestions you have been given for 90 days. I think you will be very pleasantly surprised. If you don't like the results, you can always go back to 1200cals/day.

I am 52yo, 5'4". See my profile or http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1316322-birthday-progress-w-pics for my success story.

Skip breakfast, eat your first meal at noon, and see what happens.

Eat pretty much anything you want at other times.

Counting calories is boring.

I bet you will survive.

At least.

This will screw up your metabolism.

Mostly bad advice, but breakfast doesn't work for everyone. Eating in the morning makes me ravenous. But not calorie counting? That's fun! I couldn't imagine NOT calorie counting.

Same here. I used to hate it, but now I see it as an empowering game/challenge. I enjoy having control over it.

You need to up your protein, lower your carbs and cut back on those sugar calories.

Wait, you are so miserable about missing out on nice food that you're thinking of switching to a liquid meal replacement???

How would that even work? You like food! Sounds like punishment, and wouldn't solve the problem.

The really good thing about calorie logging is you work out where to compromise. For example, I've stopped eating chocolate, but I do eat pizza and drink wine. I am a little bit sad that I can't pile into the pizza and wine like I used but that's just maths.

Totally agree with justlistening above - work on getting a good balance of nutrients that will keep you satisfied. Build in the treats. Don't push your body all the time - give your body time to recover. You look great right now! Think you need to be kind to yourself.

Skip breakfast, eat your first meal at noon, and see what happens.

Eat pretty much anything you want at other times.

Counting calories is boring.

I bet you will survive.

At least.

This will screw up your metabolism.

Mostly bad advice, but breakfast doesn't work for everyone. Eating in the morning makes me ravenous. But not calorie counting? That's fun! I couldn't imagine NOT calorie counting.

Nonsense.

It will NOT screw up your metabolism.

Over a few days, you will NOT get ravenously hungry in the afternoon.

In fact, you stomach should shrink, and your cravings should change.

Ingesting a huge breakfast is a phenomenon of our modern age.

That goes a long way in explaining today's obesity epidemic.

Be kind to your stomach.

Don't fill it up with crap in the morning.

1. Meal timing is personal preference.
2. Monitoring intake (calorie counting, portion control etc.) has to happen in some form in order to create a deficit. (lose weight)
3. A huge breakfast is not the explanation to obesity. A calorie surplus is how people gain weight.

OP:
Read the links provided for you in this thread.

especially this one:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?page=1#posts-16625920

On carbohydrate restriction: there's contentious disagreement on whether "calories are calories" or if it matters WHAT you eat. I reduced the amount of sugar and carbs that I ate (when I successfully lost 20 pounds) and found that NOT ONLY did I lose weight, but the depression I endured for years also went away.

So while I did not read the rather long posts on carbohydrate restriction here, I think the author has a point. Maybe the real issue is the bagels I'm so fond of, and the rice. Maybe the quality of my calories (vice quantity) will make a difference. It worked before.

And maybe I shouldn't decide my ideal weight by looking at 5'4" fitness models and telling myself, "She weighs 123 pound, so I should weigh about that, too!"

I am loveable, even if I don't have the body of an Oxygen girl. I just need to work out, eat well (and reasonable amounts), and smile.

And I have to stop being afraid of my aging body. Worries like this eventually push me to settle and marry men who aren't that great so I won't be alone.

Let's see if reducing carbs and trying to enjoy the gym help. Thatnks for all the advice.

I think there's lots of helpful advice in this thread, which I mostly agree with and I think you have to stop looking at it as punishment and try a change in perspective in how you look at food, the food your body deserves for fuel and it doesn't have to taste bad. I'll be the first to say I love and grew up on a carb heavy diet like white rice with butter, bagels with cream cheese and chocolate chip cookies, but I know those things don't nourish my body. I've noticed when I eat more protein and even more fat that the carb cravings are greatly diminished.
I definitely went through a phase of okay, I'll just sit here and eat my carrot sticks while the rest of you enjoy wet burritos with rice and beans, but I try to find enjoyment in other things in life besides food, like different hobbies I enjoy. I think as women growing up we've been trained to find comfort in food and it's not healthy. Also maybe depending on your girls age, maybe you can get them on board, and make them healthy stuff too, it's never too early to teach children healthy eating habits.
Ultimately, you have to find something sustainable that doesn't feel like punishment. I air pop my popcorn and bring it in my purse and allow myself some m&ms at the movies, as long as I practice portion control. When you go out to dinner, get the salad, but allow yourself a couple pieces of bread or maybe split a dessert, total deprivation will only take you so far, and of course as others have said start some weight training, you can do super sets to get a bigger calorie burn and lastly at 47 (for me) Oxygen model is probably not going to happen, I'm just trying to be realistic, but I know I'm doing better than most, for my age and am still rocking a bikini. Do I have a six pack, not yet, but I won't stop until I'm dead, probably, lol You can do this!

I do count out things like pretzel chips. If it says a serving is 23 chips I count out 23 and bring those to work.

And I have reduced my weight loss goal from 1 pound a week to .5 pounds a week. That will allow me to eat 1320 calories a day, which is closer to what I was eating anyway.

I think I'm just struggling, psychologically. Like I said a moment ago, I have even considered giving up food all together and switching to Soylent.

And it bothers me that I'm suffering from bursitis. A man who loves and supports me joked about me getting a walker and I started to panic. I worry I'm reaching an age where I can't work out like I used to. After my last mobilization to Afghanistan I suffered a lot of shoulder and neck pain from the added weights I carried in and out of the war zone... I worry I'm getting too old to keep up with the boys and too old to reach the figure of the models on my Oxygen magazines.

Other than the loose skin around my waist I'm actually very satisfied with my body. My arms and legs are tone and hard... my butt could be better. A tummy tuck would fix that last thing I can't seem to eliminate.

But I want to believe I can reach this arbitrary number by dieting and working out. I'm starting to think that maybe I can't. Or I can, but it won't be worth it. (I'll probably still need surgery.)

Maybe it's time to step away from the computer for a while.

I have found that restricting, or eliminating as much processed sugars and grains as I can from my diet, helps tremendously with pain. Those foods can be inflammatory for some people, and reducing the inflammation by cutting them out, reduces the pain level.

As for Soylent- I have no idea what that is, but my first thought was the movie- Soylent Green. It's PEOPLE! They're eating PEOPLE! :laugh: