How to gain weight - overcome ED on my own ):

Have you thought of talking to your doctor about this? They would have some good ideas for you, and help you figure out if you need to be eating such a massive surplus. I am NOT a doctor, but I imagine taking it slow would be a better option. Eat a little bit more than you normally would for a week, then a little more, and so on. Don't overdo anything right at the start, or you might wind up having a relapse. Just remember that you're trying to get healthier, too, so always keep that in the back of your mind. You can do it!

Did you tell the doctor how many calories you were eating per day? Did the doctor tell you how many calories you should be eating each day? If not, get a second opinion. Just because you have not done damage yet does not mean you should continue your disordered eating.

Binge eating dumplings does not sound like a good idea either. It seems like it may just lead you down a slippery slope to a different eating disorder. I would use MFP to figure out what your maintenance calories are and then try eating that. If that doesn't have you gaining a bit of weight, then add 100-200 calories per day. Because you are not trying to lose weight you will be able to indulge more than the rest of us, but you should also try to make most of your food choices healthy and nutritious. You aren't going to make yourself feel better or healthier than by dumping 3000 calories of fast food into your body every day.

If you are exercising, make sure you are eating those calories back as well.

OP, you probably have never heard of Karen Carpenter, but to many people of my age she is a symbol of anorexia nervosa and the tragedy it can become. She was a beautiful woman, one half of the singing group "The Carpenters," who developed AN in her twenties. AN was less understood then than it is now and, despite having a doctor's care, she died of her disorder. She gained too much weight too quickly and died of heart failure. Today, many people are in recovery from AN and many of them do very well with it. However, the people who do the best at recovery are those who have a professional diagnosis and who work with a medical doctor, a therapist, and a nutritionist. It's admirable that you *want* to recover. In fact, it's AWESOME and speaks well for your success when you recover. But please, please, please seek the help from a medical professional who specializes in the treatment of AN.

I wish you well, believe me. You sound like a smart person who wants to take care of herself. Best of luck to you.

I think you should get another doctor! And a nutritionist. It's hard to overcome an ED on your own.

W

Your doctor sounds like a quack. Or you didn't tell him the problem and he took you at face value. Unfortunately most primary care doctors are so focused on obesity, they miss anorexia.

You have gotten great advice so far. I will say that it will be extremely hard for you to do this on your own. Your mind (disorder) is going to get in the way sooner or later. I couldn't tell where you are located. IF possible find a team you can work with (therapist, psychiatrist if needed and nutritionist). It is a specialized disorder so you do want to find someone who treats it.

I could see if I can find referrals for you on my listserv, but I would need to know where you are located.

Go to a different doctor. Tell them explicitly that you have an eating disorder, and that you need help.

Do you have any friends or family that you can share this with? Can you ask your parents if they would help you? It might be good to speak with a therapist and join a support group for people struggling with the same things.

If I had to choose one, I'd pick the psychological help. A psychologist or psychiatrist or therapist trained to treat EDs can help you examine the underlying cause for your disorder. You can treat symptoms forever, through eating and recording calories and such, but unless you treat the disorder itself, you're really not going to have permanent improvement.

I'm actually going through the exact same thing right now. I got down to 85 pounds before I realized I really needed to turn things around. My major problem was that during the course of my disorder I developed a lot of 'food fears' and even though I was committed to recovery I still had a lot of trouble eating these certain foods (eg. I had cut out grains, dairy, refined sugar, red meat...).

It's a slow process, but I suggest tackling recovery one step at a time, you'll feel a lot safer and more comfortable and probably be less likely to want to restrict as compensation for ridiculous overeating. The only way I could justify eating more food was if I stuck to a clean eating meal plan, that way I didn't feel guilty about my eating and didn't want to starve myself to make up for it

Here's how I started:
-Eat at least three meals a day. They don't have to be full meals at first, just get your body in the habit of eating at regular intervals
-Gradually increase portion size. Your stomach has probably shrunk while you've been restricting so you will get fuller faster, but just try to slowly allow your body to adapt to a higher food intake. For me I was still relying on safe foods at this point, but would make sure I tried to eat more. I would make bigger salads than I used to, or eat a few more pieces of veggies than before.
-Challenge yourself to break one ED habit each day. For example, I never ate after 7 pm when I was ill, but now I have a bedtime snack because it helps me sleep. Or try facing a food fear. Hopefully you can feel accomplished and proud of yourself after conquering a challenge each day and it'll inspire you to continue
-Try eating calorie dense foods. this way you can eat a small volume of food (thus not making yourself sick) but still intake a decent amount of calories. I struggled with this a lot because calorie dense foods were something that caused me major anxiety
-Distract yourself when you're having ED thoughts. I would always go down and play cards with my mom when I was feeling particularly bloated and wanting to restrict again. Eventually, the thoughts will lessen and things will get easier.

I'd love to add more but I have to dash to work! Message me if you'd like to chat at all!!

This site has a ton of solid information about recovery:

www.youreatopia.com/

First of all, good for you for WANTING to get better. That is the first step, and usually the hardest one to make.

Secondly, I know what you mean about Asian families and not being able to talk about / understanding EDs. In my family, "Oh my god, you're skin and bones!" is considered a compliment, but then they keep feeding you and make you finish your food, and then if you gain a pound, they call you fat! It's all very confusing. Maybe in Asia there are so few people who are overweight (or at least used to be, in our parents' generation, maybe there are more now) that the idea of being afraid to gain weight just plain doesn't register.

I would try to find support outside your family (as you are doing here) and avoid the topic entirely at home until you're well on your way. Check out http://thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/ - they have free one-on-one web counseling and they can help you find a support group near you. This journey starts with your mind and your relationship with food - until you are able to address those issues, it will be all too easy to slip back into old habits.

GOOD LUCK!

:happy: Im going through the same thing. Im 5 '5 and weigh 87 pounds. Just try to gain weight on healthy foods