Can you relate to this?

Thank goodness I have never had that done, a few coments to someone else about me, but never to me. People are so unbelievably rude and inconsiderate. Someday, somehow those comments will come back to bite them in the butt, believe me. Dont let people with no morals get to you.

It is the fact that they are extremes. Extremely fit, extremely skinny, extremely overweight, extremely tall, etc. It seems to be human nature to be uncomfortable with the extremes of life. The only way to cope with that is to comment on it, say mean things, be mentally abusive to justify the fact that in reality, THEY are the ones with the problem. Not the person they are commenting on.

It's very sad how much this can affect you negatively, even when you lose the weight.

I had comments like that regularly while living back in England, even from my own family. I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl. It upsets my husband more than it upsets me, because it's like the worst thing we can be is fat? That's not right...

Nope. I've never seen or heard anything like this. Where do you people live that this happens?

Yes, I have had this happen a time or two, but I have the gift of being able to out-insult anyone. Usually I respond to this kind of thing with silence and a very evil smile. You should see them twitch!

Nope. I've never seen or heard anything like this. Where do you people live that this happens?

This is kind of what I was thinking too. Even when I was 150 lb overweight, I never got anything like this.

I recall maybe 5-6 comments being made about my weight in middle school & junior high, and 2 times that rude things were said about it behind my back and I found out.

I am grateful that I can't relate to this.

Lucky for you on not being bullied. It happens everywhere BTW. I remember telling my dad in middle school and his words of wisdom were stand up this them. If you get suspended we both will explain to mom why.

How long have you been in middle school? Maybe you should transfer to a different district?

I have been "fat" all my life and was bullied as a child for it. However, this cartoon definitely does not represent my experience as an adult. Or maybe I have just learned how to block it out really well?

No, I can't.

Nope. I've never seen or heard anything like this. Where do you people live that this happens?

Iowa, USA is a good place to start. Specific towns would be Jefferson, Boone, Ames, Carroll, Des Moines, Cedar Rapids. If you're in Canada, St. John's, NL, is full of this, too.

Interesting. I was over 225 pounds in high school and bullied pretty bad (was even spit on and hit) but even I can't relate to this as a grown *kitten* adult. Or as a teen, as most of my bullying stemed not from my weight but from inability to fit in.

Friends:

I am the person who wrote the original story (I am not the person who illustrated it). You can see the full story here, including my complete submission to the site, that the artist drew from (heh) to create the comic: http://empathizethis.com/stories/street-sizeism/

First, I want to state that during the stories in question, depending where they happened, I ranged from 280 to 380lbs. This is not about people who are a little overweight, though I know for some of you, you will still have been harassed anyway.

Second, the shouting from the car happened about 6 weeks ago, as I was walking along Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge, Massachusetts (yes, home of Harvard and MIT). The guy who followed me along the street has actually happened twice; once in Raleigh, North Carolina, once in Somerville, MA. The guy who told me I'd only get laid if I got raped was in Toronto, Ontario (Toronto was also the place where I had a tiny little German accented woman ask me, "Do you know that you are very fat?" before trying to sell me weight loss pills. It was left out because it was practically slapstick, and not threatening the way these other stories are).

It's actually happened to me in every city I've ever lived in. I once had a man mock me for my weight as I was leaving a Jenny freaking Craig in Atlanta, GA (I had, with JC's help, lost over 80lbs in the 7 months leading up to that time). I have lived over 3 years in all of the cities mentioned here; they're all east coast, but they're in 4 states/provinces and 2 countries, and both north and south of the mason-dixon line. This isn't just a problem in one place, or I'd probably have gotten past it.

In addition, I actually carry myself pretty confidently; even when dieting, I've been pretty happy to be me. It's only when I get harassed that I actually really notice my weight (well, and when I try and sit on those really cheap folding chairs). I have actually wondered if part of it comes from *that*. I currently have blue hair. I wear retro polka dot dresses. I am what I am. I rarely attract the attacks that studies show come from seeming nervous or weak. I *do* attract harassment from people who seem determined to bring me down a peg.

The point of 'Empathize This', the comic and website, is not to say, 'Boy, everyone's experience is JUST LIKE THIS', but instead to say, 'hey. This happens to people out there. Even if this isn't what happened to you, maybe you understand, or maybe you'll be aware, when you see it happening.'

'It has never happened to me (so it doesn't happen)' is anecdotal. I wrote this specifically because it keeps happening, everywhere I go (Ironically, it ALWAYS happens when I'm alone; if I'm with friends or family I hear nothing of this sort; it's a dominance game, that uses my obesity as the target, not necessarily about the fat itself. But I've never lived anywhere that, when there was a chance, there wasn't the possibility some **** would try this).

Good luck with your weight loss, but remember to love yourself in all your sizes. Your body is a continuum.

I am glad to see so many speak out about not relating to this comic strip. I was overweight (by 100 pounds) for the last 25 years, I taught 5 year olds with no social filters, walked and ran at a local public track & went out in public all the time. Never once has anyone said or yelled anything like this to me.

I wonder if it's more about the way a person carries themselves or the attitude they project. People are bullied every day - not just overweight people.


ETA: I am in no way suggesting that the way a person carries themselves or the attitude they have gives anyone license to bully them.

I've never had a stranger say anything like that to me that I heard. I'm pretty sure they would have been afraid that I would sit on them.

Oh yes, I think that most of us in our lives at some point have been on the receiving end of prejudicial abuse. There is a severe lack of understanding and empathy in our society that only looks to extremes of beauty as perfection and everything else falls short.

As a woman who has lived with obesity for a number of years, the abuse I have received did not decrease after leaving education. I have been pushed into parked cars, I have been shouted at, I have been pushed, shoved, grabbed, oggled and openly talked about. I even experienced this when my Husband was proposing to me!

I try to reserve my judgement of others, it's not up to me to criticise or assess them. I try, instead to empathise with people and understand what makes them who they are.

Kaela x