Starting again - unhelpful comments

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  • WandaWoman41
    WandaWoman41 Posts: 153 Member
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    Damned if you gain, damned if you lose
  • hellosay
    hellosay Posts: 76 Member
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    Some people use that as motivation...others get depressed and fall off the wagon. Which is it for you?
    This^.
    My friend came back after her pregnancy break and the first thing she said to me was that I had put on weight. Ironic, isn't it?
    I joined a gym the next day.
  • RosanaRosanaDana
    RosanaRosanaDana Posts: 93 Member
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    Jeez. You know, I've never had someone tell me I've put on weight but I've had people compliment me on losing weight. Being told I've LOST weight actually gets to me a bit. I'm not being ungrateful. Just hear me out.

    When I've lost weight, I get compliments such as "You're so much skinnier. You look great!" Although at the time it makes me feel a little bit impressed with myself, when I get to thinking about it, I just think "Oh god, so when I was heavier you NOTICED but you didn't say anything?" Then I get hung up on the fact that people even a little bit overweight (I was cresting more than "a little bit overweight") do tend to get negative attention and that, if they noticed I've lost weight, they judged me on my body image before I had. I don't like the way that society treats the overweight or obese.

    Another thing. It really, really puts me on the spot. I'm just "Uuuh. Thank you. It uhm." I mean, what do you say in that scenario? Around here, people get judged for being both overweight and being self-centred or having an OTT ego. What do I say to say thank the person, but not make myself seem overly self confident? Damn. Then I have to think of a compliment to say back, so I stand there with my mouth half open while I scan my close friend for improvements in the appearance. Maybe I just don't take enough attention others' bodies or appearances.

    Wtf have I just gone on about for the past five minutes?
    Ignore me. I talk crap.

    You could respond by saying "Same me, just new packaging."
  • media2law
    media2law Posts: 13
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    I'm surrounded by people who don't want to do the work to improve their fitness but are the first to say something snarky. Just remember to own your own success and don't let anyone try to make you feel anything other than awesome...because you are!
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,124 Member
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    Yeeep. Something similar from my own MOTHER. Some people just speak before they think.
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    i must have the politest friends and family in the world. no one ever said anything about my massive gains, neither have they said anything about my most recent loss.

    my husband and i have talked about this, he said its weird, i always knew you weren't thin, but i never saw you as fat, but now i see pictures of you from then, and wow, you were big. ha ha. (its true, i was)

    could it be how we carry ourselves through the world that affects perception?
  • hellosay
    hellosay Posts: 76 Member
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    I feel your pain because this HAS happened to me. A family member (through marriage) insulted me like this in front of my kids. One of my adult sons replied, "You can always lose weight but you can't fix ugly." My advice is ignore the ignorant and stay on track. You can do it!!!!
    I loved this!
  • Michellekutz1
    Michellekutz1 Posts: 122
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    Some people use that as motivation...others get depressed and fall off the wagon. Which is it for you?
    Weird if my Husband says it I fall off, if anyone else I ignore or use for motivation depending on who it's coming from.
  • fallingtrees
    fallingtrees Posts: 220 Member
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    "Wow, you've gotten mean in your old age!"

    Amazing.
  • ChristinWrites
    ChristinWrites Posts: 119 Member
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    My favorite was when I showed up to a market after not being there for a couple of months and one of the other vendors came up to me and whispers like it's some big shameful secret - we noticed you're a little round and wondered if you were expecting again? I said no politely and laughed it off - then she says loudly "Oh so you're just getting fat huh?"

    Thanks...

    Don't let them get you down, like other posters have pointed out the only person who can make you feel bad is you if you allow it. Instead of being mortified, I changed my attitude about it and decided that if it was noticeable enough other people were taking polls on if I was pregnant or not - it might be time to fix that lol.
  • WW_Jude_V2
    WW_Jude_V2 Posts: 209 Member
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    I wouldn't even acknowledge the rude comment - that just lets them know it got to you. "well, bless your little heart, it's good to see you too" works wonders.

    Haha! Love the "bless your little heart" comment. I hope I remember to use it the next time I get the chance!
  • caracrawford1
    caracrawford1 Posts: 657 Member
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    Was she raised by wolves?! Who says stuff like that and no "hi" "hello"?
  • MrsBassPlayer
    MrsBassPlayer Posts: 7 Member
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    I always think that a comment about someone's weight is unnecessary unless it's a compliment. Can't we just say 'it's great to see you'? That seems like enough! Ugh!!!
  • 1stday13
    1stday13 Posts: 433 Member
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    I feel your pain because this HAS happened to me. A family member (through marriage) insulted me like this in front of my kids. One of my adult sons replied, "You can always lose weight but you can't fix ugly." My advice is ignore the ignorant and stay on track. You can do it!!!!
    God Bless our Kids!!! :drinker:
  • riveraphx
    riveraphx Posts: 380 Member
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    I like that, use it to fuel your fire!!
  • JaneInKansas
    JaneInKansas Posts: 82 Member
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    I agree with a lot of other posts -- don't let it get to you. Some people are just rude and don't realize the struggle other people have with weight. I work with two ladies who are thin. I definitely get tired of the one saying how "tiny", "small", etc. she is and it feels like she does this on a daily basis -- gets very old to listen to.

    They both also continuously complain about being cold -- could be because they are wearing thin, sleeveless shirts in an air-conditioned office?!! I always have a blouse, then top it with a jacket or 3/4 sleeve sweater in the summer just because I know it's going to be cold. I have numerous times heard them complain about being cold and will finally comment "that's why I always layer with a jacket or sweater" -- falls on totally deaf ears.

    Depending on the day, I'm sure there are days when I feel like they are trying to emphasize that they are thin and I'm not. Oh well, weight isn't the only thing we should take into consideration when judging people. I also feel like when people make rude comments or do something mean to someone that sometime in the future it will come back to haunt them -- like maybe they gained a lot of weight and you are at a comfortable weight -- we can only hope!
  • coaoalo
    coaoalo Posts: 104 Member
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    When I saw my grandmother for the first time in 3 years (we live really far away) the first thing she said to me was "oh, you're still the short plump one!". I was 14 and perfectly normal for my age/height. It's been a long line of comments like that from when I was about 12 (and maybe even earlier) that led me to just give up and eat fast food and chocolate cake for 6 years. Now I'm 22 and actually have to do something about my weight. Not that I'm blaming anyone- I ate all the food because I wanted to- I still want to. It's just that if these kind of comments had started when I was older I think I would have dealt with them better.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
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    Happens to me all the time when I go to visit family in the Caribbean. There's no, "it's good to see you, long time no see". It's usually "Wow, look how fat you are or if you lose 10 lbs you'll look great or my fav, where are you going with all that weight". This my family who are making those comments, kinda hard to ignore. If I were you, I'd just ignore her.

    Good luck on your journey :wink:

    I know exactly what you mean. Funny thing those who are making the comments are not slim either.

    To make matters worse, if you chose not to eat all the fattening food (but good though) they serve, they get upset. I eat everything, and worry about the weight when I return home.
  • DavePFJ
    DavePFJ Posts: 212 Member
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    You know they're already insecure then. Find their mental weakness, and exploit it until they are crying. Once they are crying, keep pushing for the lols.

    Or just ignore them.

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