should i be offended....

sammer825
sammer825 Posts: 50 Member
in Motivation and Support
no one has told me that i look like ive lost weight? I can tell but noone else apparently can...
«13

Replies

  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    No, you shouldn't be offended.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Some people don't comment because they worry that if they do the person will be offended, especially if they don't know that you have been dieting.

    People that see you often may have a harder time noticing as well.
  • NinjaJinja
    NinjaJinja Posts: 147 Member
    No. Being offended over what people don't say is ridiculous. Plus you sound kind of whiny saying no one has told you that it looks like you've lost weight. Remember, people don't owe you compliments. Be pleased when you get them, but by expecting them you're just setting yourself up to be disappointed. If you just assume no one will ever notice you can instead be pleasantly surprised whenever anyone does.
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
    Some people don't comment because they worry that if they do the person will be offended, especially if they don't know that you have been dieting.

    People that see you often may have a harder time noticing as well.

    Agreed. One time I had a coworker tell me "You look great, I can tell you lost weight!" and I said thanks, then she added "You were really chunky before..." Wow, thanks. Sometimes it's better when people don't say anything.

    This time (I've lost weight multiple times, I'm planning to make this one permanent) I didn't start getting comments until I'd lost nearly 20 lbs.
  • dougii
    dougii Posts: 679 Member
    No reason to be offended. No one seemed to notice that I was losing until I had lost around 25 pounds....and then several people asked me if I was sick. Once they started noticing at work it became a topic of conversation and eventually pictures were put on a slide presentation asking over 150 of my colleagues if they recognized "this man".....bacause I had "remade myself". At that point I sort of wished to go back to the good old days of no comments...LOL.
  • shortyblueyes
    shortyblueyes Posts: 14
    Please don't be offended. Oftentimes, people hesitate to mention weight loss because they Don't want to offend anybody! Keep working and using these message boards for support. One day soon, it will become apparent and you will start receiving compliments. You might want to consider telling someone that you're trying very hard to lose weight. Sometimes it only takes one person to "break the ice" and soon you will have a network of people who support you (other than on here).
  • lattanicole
    lattanicole Posts: 14 Member
    You look AMAZING!! Don't be offended, a lot of people get caught up with their owns lives and such. They will notice :).
  • techgal128
    techgal128 Posts: 719 Member
    I've lost 45 pounds and people still haven't noticed. I do though and that's what matters.
  • gpizzy
    gpizzy Posts: 171
    if you're losing weight for compliments from other people, then yes, feel offended. If you're doing this for yourself, and yourself thinks you've made progress, forget the others.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    Being offended is giving the offender to much credit.
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
    You've lost 14lbs. Weight loss is barely noticable to people until the 20-25 mark. You'll notice because you're looking for it. Checking daily, and noting when clothes fit differently. This is especially true when you don't have much to lose, which from looking at your pic, you must not have.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    OP offended b/c people don't remark about her weight loss. I have read far too many threads by others who are offended b/c people remark about their weight loss.

    Damned if you do, damned if you don't. So I don't. And others probably don't either. Not worth the butthurt.
  • skippygirlsmom
    skippygirlsmom Posts: 4,433 Member
    A lot of the time when you see people daily they don't notice. Don't be offended.
  • TrophWife1
    TrophWife1 Posts: 1
    Don't be offended, Just like the dread social comment of "When are you due?" and they aren't people often say nothing. It's less painful than the Dr. visit to have foot removed from mouth. M ost of the time people don't mention it because they are afraid of how will we respond ( why did I need to - said with a snarl) to even being afraid that something is wrong health wise. It's a delicate balance society has us walk. For me personally when I think someone has lost weight I use the old compliment route " You look great today, so what have you been up to? Person feels good and hopefully spills the beans on how they did it.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Don't be offended. A lot of people are afraid to bring it up (even if they've noticed it), because they don't know what to say, or what kind of reaction they will get.

    It's almost like asking a woman if she's pregnant - it often doesn't end well.
  • helenarriaza
    helenarriaza Posts: 517 Member
    Sounds like fishing for compliments.

    Do it for you, not for the compliments.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Like I'm going to randomly comment on a woman's weight...


    ...again.


    Last few times I did this, the woman in question had apparently recently *gained* weight.



    So I made a rule for this like I did for potentially pregnant women: unless I see an actual baby part protruding or you tell me "I am pregnant" in those exact words, I will not acknowledge the possibility that you might be pregnant (because I've been wrong about this too). Similarly, unless you tell me "I lost weight", I will not acknowledge the possibility that you might have lost weight.


    TL;DR - nope, and I'm not going to because not worth the risk.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    yes. obv all of your friends, family and coworkers and just jealous of you. you should cuss them out and defriend them before they start trying to sabotage you.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Nobody critiques and thinks about anyone else's body as much as their own, so of course you're going to notice before anyone else does. No you should not be offended.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
    No you shouldn't be.
  • bill_i_am
    bill_i_am Posts: 180 Member
    I read somewhere that you notice at 10lbs and everyone else notices around 20lbs, so I'm sure you'll start to hear it soon. Either way, do it for you and I wouldn't be offended. You're doing great!
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    no one has told me that i look like ive lost weight? I can tell but noone else apparently can...

    In your before and after I can totally see a difference. Your boobs look much bigger.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    Damn, thought this was my fart guy thread being resurrected. Retreating silently now...
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    If you lost weight for them then yes..........be offended.
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
    No, people don't always pay much attention to how others look.

    That said, I had been to a family gathering right before I started to lose weight and I felt REALLY BIG. When I went to another one shortly after and had already dropped 10lb, I thought it was very noticeable. No body noticed, and the topic of losing weight was coming up left and right so it's not like they weren't thinking about it. O well,...
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    OP, looks like you lost weight!

    *waits for thread if you should be offended that I mentioned it*
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    NO... are you losing weight for someone other than yourself? be patient.. people will eventually ask if you are okay... if you are sick...and there will be murmurs when you enter a room...SO.. be careful what you wish for... change is NOT something people are comfortable with... so unless you have been upfront with all your friends, family and acquaintances they might NOT see your changes as a good thing...

    and NO ONE looks at you more closely than YOU do... so... if it's early (3 months or less) into your LIFESTYLE change... chances are no one has noticed.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    do you do squats and deadlifts?
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    No, you shouldn't be offended. Talking about other people's weight is a pretty taboo subject so most people steer clear, even if the comment would otherwise be a compliment. Just search MFP and you'll find numerous threads with people complaining that people did comment...a great many people cannot take a compliment which is why most people just refrain from ever even bringing the subject up.

    People tended to comment far more on my fitness and those accomplishments than they ever did my actual weight...in fact the only people to ever comment directly about my weight were my direct family and a couple of very close friends...and even then it wasn't until I had lost about 20 of my 40 total Lbs.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    yes, because you're a horrible fisher(wo)man

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