Internal dialog

Congratulations on quitting smoking. Awesome!

Do you have the ability to talk to a professional about your situation? There is something going on with that little voice in your head that all the willpower in the world can't fix.

Funny , I heard and still hear those same words. I weigh the same as you and I am 5 ft. tall. This is my venture into losing weight and I'm gonna make it. Good luck to you.

You're destined to be anything YOU choose to be. Don't let others make that choice for you! I actually had a similar yet seemingly opposite problem. I was chubby between the ages of 10-14 and my family nicknamed me dahponzhu (at least it sounded like that. It translates to chubby fat girl in Chinese Mandarin) where as my 2 sisters were nicknamed Shau Ann and Shau Lu (or at least it sounded like that. It translates to Little Ann and Little Lu). In a fat obsessed society, I can't even tell you what that did for my ego to have my mom constantly call me a chubby girl in public. I had a growth spurt at 14 and thinned out as a result of that and the fact that that I became weight-obsessed (started working out alot). I was 5'5", 135lbs, and a size 5 all the way from age 15 to 34 yrs old. But, despite being in-shape (and I was), my nickname stuck and my mother continued to call me dahponzhu until I moved out at the age of 19. And what's sadder still is that my self-perception of being chubby stuck too and, although I was not fat, I always felt fat and was weight obsessed (I weighed myself everyday & was very careful about my diet). My mom was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer 3 years ago (she has since passed away) and I rapidly gained weight in response. In only a few MONTHS, I shot up from 135 to 200 then slowly crept up to 218.5 lbs (which was my peak high)

The reason I'm telling you my story is this: I could NOT lose the weight until I made a promise to myself that I will choose my own destiny, that I will allow myself to be the person that I want to be rather than live my life according to what others believe I should, and not to let self-consiousness about my body prevent me from seizing opportunities.

I bought clothes that made me feel good in the body I'm in. I joined a gym and started working out (despite my feelings of self-consciousness), whenever I catch myself negative-self-talking, I chant the mantra "I am my friend" (as a reminder to stop beating up on myself since I would NEVER talk or even think of a friend as negatively as I thought/talked to myself and needed to stop it!) and since I've been doing this, I dropped 12lbs since 5/8/14 (when I started my diest) with 71.5lbs left to go.

I get the (discouraging/negative) internal dialog. I've had that same dialog my whole life and still struggle with it today (change doesn't happen overnight!) but I recently realized that both of those voices inside my head are ME -- not anyone else. And because it's ME talking, it's ME that must make the change as to what those voices say.

I believe you can do this. I truly do. But I believe that you have to believe that you can do this before change happens. When you wake up in the morning, take a look at yourself and say "I'm so beautiful and am getting even more gorgeous every day as I lose weight! " Because it's true. Throw out ALL the junk food in your house. Give them to a homeless shelter, pass them to a relative, I don't care. Get them out. Start planning your meals carefully and have them all in the fridge ready for you so that you can easily grab from those premade meals whenever you're feeling an urge rather than grab a bag of chips. Have certain foods available for different urges. For example, kale chips, popcorn, and salted seaweed for when you have a salty snack/potato chip urge. Bread and jam for when you want a pie. Quest protein bars for when you feel like a brownie. It's SO hard at first but after awhile of doing it, I promise you that your taste buds will begin to adjust and it will get easier. When you are at a place where you're tempted by chips think "How will I feel after I eat this? Will eating this make me happy or will it make me feel disappointed in myself for breaking my promise again?" Then drink a tall glass of water. Wait 2 minutes and see if your impulse for the chips still exists. Network with positive people who will push you towards postive self-talk as well. I would LOVE to meet for workouts once my exam (on 7/19) is over. And watch the Bruce Pticher episode of Extreme Weight Loss for inspiration: http://abc.go.com/shows/extreme-weight-loss/episode-guide/season-04/404-bruce

You can do it! I know you can! But don't focus on losing just the weight because you'll never be happy if you do that. Focus on complete transformation of your body AND MIND because you have to believe in yourself first before any change can happen.

You go girl! I know you'll do well! Since you can't toss the food, maybe you can leave litle reminders as to why not to eat them on the food? You know, like a post it note on the bag of chips that says "Your sexy as hell now, but imagine how much sexier you'll feel in those jeans you've been trying to squeeze into" or "Hey beautiful, do you really want this? Or do you want to treat your body to something more nutritious?" or "Have a glass of water and meditate for 2 minutes, then if you still need me, I'm here. But we'll be happier if you find you don't need me." Or maybe just a noted on the fridge that says "Yummy, Yummy! Veggies in my Tummy! Makes my skin glow & love grow!" (as a reminder that we usually look better & feel better after we've made a good food choice rather than a bad one). I don't know. Was that too cheesy?

Or maybe get a second fridge and never open the big fridge. I don't know but I know you'll think of something because you're Ah-mazzz-ZING!