Would you be angry and if so, What do you do..?

don't worry about what other people think and focus on creating healthier happier you.

also, don't lose a friend over a stupid comment, take a deep breath and just let it go.

You could always let her know she offended you and ask her what she meant by it.

If she is a friend then I think she's badly worded what is actually a complement. I'd take it to mean that you look great having lost the weight and the surgery obviously helped you do that. She wishes she could lose her excess weight the same way as its worked for you.

If she isn't heavy enough to 'qualify' (sorry not sure how it works as personally not something I looked into or considered) then perhaps you could point her to this site so she can see that you can lose weight with or without surgery.

Alternatively she thinks that the surgery made it easy for you in which case she is misinformed and rude!

To me it was like she was saying how fat I was and made me feel like a huge failure.

She wasn't saying that... She didn't say you were really fat.... She was talking about herself.

Agree. Not everything is about you OP.That might sound mean, but it's something that I had to learn and it has saved me a lot of emotional turmoil over the years.

People saying silly things can only be made worse by that internal voice that interprets everything as a personal attack. You have control over one of those.

She said it in response to her own frustration with herself and her situation.

I have an optic condition. It's bad enough to impact my day to day life, including prevent me from driving, but it is not bad enough for my doctors to want to risk surgery for it yet. A friend with a similar condition has had a ton of help from organizations due to being visually impaired, and has been able to explore treatment options I haven't been able to. As a result, she now has better vision than I do and a support network I don't yet have access to. I do not for one minute want to take that away from her, nor do I want to get worse, but sometimes I do get frustrated and say things like "I wish my eyes were as bad as yours."

I can understand questioning it, but I would be surprised if the comment had anything to do with you or your weight-loss journey. It has everything to do with her and hers.

I wouldn't be offended, I would just tell her jokingly "well, you are already well on your way there so all you have to do is eat more of the same and hopefully you will get to the point where you can have the surgery pretty soon", then ask her if she needs help or support losing the extra weight she does have.

I don't know, but maybe being very big for very long I have developed thick skin when it comes to my weight, and it's very hard to offend me. I mean I know I'm big, no need to tiptoe around me and pretend like I'm not. It's a fact just like I know I have green eyes and would be silly to pretend otherwise. And like the color of my eyes, my weight does not define me or make me any less valuable or amazing than any other person.

The other day my cousin said to me "You've lost so much weight! If I attempted to lose as much weight as you did I would disappear." He's not all that lean himself. It made me smile, and I said "Thank you, I'm glad you've noticed my hard work". He was either trying to give me a compliment, albeit crude, or thinking of me as "fat" made him feel better about himself. In both cases it's a good thing. It means he is either inspired by me and contemplating how much he would have to lose, or he is feeling insecure which - knowing him - would spark him into action.

This was an episode of The Simpsons. Homer needed to lose weight but couldn't. So instead, the doctor fattened him up so he could have the surgery.

But your friend was really saying that she doesn't have the willpower to lose weight. It was not a comment about you; it was a comment about her own weakness. There is no need for you to be angry of her admission of her own weakness.

I agree with this. There's been many times I wish I could have my fat removed surgically. It boiled down to me being too lazy to get up and do the work myself.

I think she just meant she wants to lose weight and doesn't want to put the work, but she's clearly not informed about how the surgery works... and think you lost weight the 'easy' way. I think it's what I would be offended about... there's no denial that I was fat here, and I wouldn't be offended if someone said I was.

you could have just said, "well, i think you might be fat enough, you should check into it" you did say she was big.

When I was a kid my cousin and I were pretty fat. She had terrible teeth. She got braces that were so painful she didn't eat for weeks after she got them. Then she got E. coli or something like that. She lost like 30lbs in just a few weeks. I remember thinking...I wish I needed braces and couldn't eat. Or caught a bug and couldn't eat. It was a terrible thing to wish but I thought I wouldn't be able to lose it any other way. Its not that I thought it was a walk in the park to have painful braces or a horrible gut issue; I was just desperate and thought I couldn't do it on my own. I think your friend might feel similarly desperate and hopeless about HERSELF and it was not a comment on you.

Okay, so I have lost 130 pounds and had some regain. I had gastric bypass surgery. I was very overweight. So last night I was talking with a friend who has weight issues and she said to me.. well I wish I was fat enough to have the surgery that you did. um excuse me.??? I was soo offended. I stopped talking to her. She is a big girl too. I don't know I just thought very RUDE.

I don't know -- I'm sorry, but I really don't understand why you were offended. The gastric bypass surgery has parameters for qualification. You met those parameters. You were fat. You had the surgery.

You lost 130 pounds. You're not proud of that?

I could understand if someone thought you had the surgery but you had not. You had the surgery. What am I missing?

This was an episode of The Simpsons. Homer needed to lose weight but couldn't. So instead, the doctor fattened him up so he could have the surgery.

But your friend was really saying that she doesn't have the willpower to lose weight. It was not a comment about you; it was a comment about her own weakness. There is no need for you to be angry of her admission of her own weakness.

I agree with this. There's been many times I wish I could have my fat removed surgically. It boiled down to me being too lazy to get up and do the work myself.

This. Ever since I was a kid I had the idea stuck in my brain that someone was going to come and "make me pretty".

Now, not so much since I've realized that the "someone" is me.

Ah. Sounds like a friend of mine. She has no filter between her brain and her mouth. The mouth engages with whatever enters the brain. In my group of friends, we take whatever she says with a grain of salt. We all have our faults, this is just one of hers, and we move on.

It reminds me of what my mom once said .... she wished she was diabetic so she could get the good shoes paid for, so she wouldn't have to pay for them herself. GAH!!! REALLY MOTHER??? Sometimes all you can do is shake your head at what people say.

I would say, shake it off and chalk it up to their ignorance. You can't control what other people say and do. Just be glad your own brain functions normally and your brain/mouth filter works.