He doesn't even lift.

Hey. I've been around enough to see how relationship posts go, so give me your best.

My boyfriend doesn't lift. I lift. This isn't a dealbreaker.

Now that that's out of the way, let's say I wanted to suggest to him that he start lifting. What would be the most effective way to do it?

Through lifting I learned certain skills. I learned a lot about setting goals, discipline, time management, commitment, and consistency. I also found a great way to relieve stress and add routine to my life.

These are areas in which my boyfriend could use improvement. Additionally, it would give us an activity to do together and bond over. Lastly, there are health and aesthetic benefits to lifting.

What is the best way to approach this topic?

Two words.....Reward System. He lifts 1x per week....he gets a handy, 3x bj, 5x back door.....the possibilities are endless

This... I could work with. But it feels kind of one sided. Those would be rewards for me as well.

That's what you call a win-win.

Threads like this make me realize why I am single. I see nothing wrong with telling your SO that they need to shape up, but apparently, if you see flaws in your boyfriend, that means you think he isn't good enough for you.

Why are people so hell-bent on accepting mediocrity from each other? Personally, I'm never going to be in a relationship with anyone in whom I don't see an impressive amount of potential. And once the relationship has been established, I'm not going to cut him any slack. If he's not trying to be the best he can be, I'm not interested. And I'd absolutely want him to hold me to the same standard. Don't you owe that to each other? Sure, there are tactful and untactful ways to go about pointing out flaws, but hopefully you know each other well enough to go about it in the right way.

As for the OP ... if he's never tried lifting before, I think you should say to him "It would make me happy if you'd lift with me." It's a simple and direct road map to putting you in a good mood. Men love that. If he's tried lifting before and just doesn't have any interest in it, you might just need to let it go. You said it's not a deal-breaker, so just let it be what it is.

I have been with my SO (we're getting married finally next year) for almost ten years. He is in reasonable shape, and has been in excellent shape, but has never had more than a four pack. I have had up to a six pack and no less than four minus during pregnancy obviously. I have told him in the past blatantly that him having a soft midsection doesn't do it for me, I have nicely asked him in the past to work out with me, I mentioned lifting at the gym together.

My experience is if you love them you learn to accept what they will or will not do for you. My SO would take a bullet for me, but he won't lift or do weighted sit ups.... Perhaps you will have more luck with your SO.

My SO would take a bullet for me, but he won't lift or do weighted sit ups.... Perhaps you will have more luck with your SO.

So a guy taking a bullet for you isn't good fortune??? Some of you have no idea how good you have it. And if you don't like a guy with a soft middy, DON'T GO OUT WITH ONE.

Just wait until age takes its toll on your boobies. Hopefully he won't be posting somewhere that he wishes you'd get implants.

He doesn't lift?Get rid of him

Hey. I've been around enough to see how relationship posts go, so give me your best.

My boyfriend doesn't lift. I lift. This isn't a dealbreaker.

Now that that's out of the way, let's say I wanted to suggest to him that he start lifting. What would be the most effective way to do it?

Through lifting I learned certain skills. I learned a lot about setting goals, discipline, time management, commitment, and consistency. I also found a great way to relieve stress and add routine to my life.

These are areas in which my boyfriend could use improvement. Additionally, it would give us an activity to do together and bond over. Lastly, there are health and aesthetic benefits to lifting.

What is the best way to approach this topic?

Are you looking for advice on giving a performance review to an employee or relationship advice?

I'm confused.

Hey. I've been around enough to see how relationship posts go, so give me your best.

My boyfriend doesn't lift. I lift. This isn't a dealbreaker.

Now that that's out of the way, let's say I wanted to suggest to him that he start lifting. What would be the most effective way to do it?

Through lifting I learned certain skills. I learned a lot about setting goals, discipline, time management, commitment, and consistency. I also found a great way to relieve stress and add routine to my life.

These are areas in which my boyfriend could use improvement. Additionally, it would give us an activity to do together and bond over. Lastly, there are health and aesthetic benefits to lifting.

What is the best way to approach this topic?

Oh I can help with this one.

Get a NEW bf. It is a deal breaker.

If he doesn't want to lift, or don`t. Odds are he won`t like the transformation that you want him to make. And he`ll probably dump you in the process.

'List of improvements??' :huh: If he isn't what you want now, he ain't ever gonna be. You can't change them, no matter how many 'suggestions you make.' Changes can only come from within ourselves. Choose the model you want at the start - like a car. There's no use buying a hatchback if you want a Monster truck in your deepest heart, lol.

Sex as a 'reward' just makes you a ho. He gives you weight lifting, you give him sex. Bad move. Sex should be mutual pleasure for fun, you guys, not reward for lifestyle changes, Sheesh!

Uh, what? Have you ever been married?

Kudos to you, for seeing what I can do for you on many levels. I have always been fitness oriented. I have dated those who dont work out and those who do. Many that have no interest will not get your motivations or reasons for spending time at them gym. He may feel your trying to change him. In the end I am engaged to a personal trainer, we both enjoy it as part of our lifestyle and he gets it!

Maybe suggest he go to the gym with you? Find a type of exercise he may have interest in?

In the end its about having a partner that gets you and usually has some similar interests.

...what?