Calorie deficit question

Does it matter what kind of calories you eat (chocolate cake vs. lean meat) so long as you have a deficit each day? Will you lose weight at the same pace or will the sugar/carbs/whatever in the junkier food slow weight loss down despite a deficit?

Also, will certain foods slow down fat burning, despite a calorie deficit at the end of the day? Or is fat burning unrelated to what you eat? Thank you!
«13

Replies

  • manicautumn
    manicautumn Posts: 224 Member
    Doesn't matter what you eat. It's the deficit. Some things fill you up more or make you more likely to overindulge, but it comes down to the calories.

    I've lost my weight with the inclusion of chocolate bars, donuts, and the like pretty much every day. I eat about 1200-1300 in normal food and then use my fitbit calories for treats.
  • Thank you :) This is comforting.

  • I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?
  • tesstcool
    tesstcool Posts: 38 Member
    Eat whatever you want, stay in your calorie allowance. I eat ice cream and candy bars and donuts....i have an incredible sweet tooth. But ive lost almost 30 lbs so far!
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Probably because it is an awesome post, written by a very smart guy who took a lot of time out of his day to write it? That has been helpful to a lot of people?

    Take the advice or not, sorry for trying to post some useful information.
  • Eat whatever you want, stay in your calorie allowance. I eat ice cream and candy bars and donuts....i have an incredible sweet tooth. But ive lost almost 30 lbs so far!

    Thank you :)
  • linzmo82
    linzmo82 Posts: 1 Member
    Sure, you might loose weight staying in your calorie allowance, but the energy you get from eating clean (raw fruits, vegetables, dairy...basically the 5 food groups) is leaps and bounds better than the empty sugar and carbs you get from processed foods and sweets. As we get older, we need to take better care of our bodies than we did when we were younger, so if you want a chocolate bar, make it well worth it...like Lindt, Godiva or the like!

  • I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Probably because it is an awesome post, written by a very smart guy who took a lot of time out of his day to write it? That has been helpful to a lot of people?

    Take the advice or not, sorry for trying to post some useful information.

    This post has a lot of helpful, but basic summary information. I had specific questions that the post does not address. Seems like I have to preface every question with "I read the sexypants post and it didn't answer my question." Silly.
  • bajoyba
    bajoyba Posts: 1,153 Member

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Actually, that link is very valuable. The information it provides is how I've lost all of my weight so far.

    It also contains the answer to your question: "Eat the appropriate caloric (and macronutrient) intake for your goals and track intake accurately. I think eating mostly nutrient dense and whole foods while still allowing some "treats" is a reasonable starting point/guideline."

    In other words, to lose weight, you need to eat at the appropriate calorie deficit. To meet your body's nutritional requirements, aim for a balanced diet, and don't be afraid to leave some room for treats. That link will also tell you exactly how to determine what your body's caloric and nutritional requirements are for your goals.

    Edited to add: my diary is open if you want to have a look. I keep my macro requirements in mind throughout the day, but I eat what I want, which includes chocolate literally every day.

  • I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Actually, that link is very valuable. The information it provides is how I've lost all of my weight so far.

    It also contains the answer to your question: "Eat the appropriate caloric (and macronutrient) intake for your goals and track intake accurately. I think eating mostly nutrient dense and whole foods while still allowing some "treats" is a reasonable starting point/guideline."

    In other words, to lose weight, you need to eat at the appropriate calorie deficit. To meet your body's nutritional requirements, aim for a balanced diet, and don't be afraid to leave some room for treats. That link will also tell you exactly how to determine what your body's caloric and nutritional requirements are for your goals.

    Actually, that doesn't answer my question of whether certain foods will slow down weight loss despite still having a calorie deficit. Also it's just one person's opinion, as he admits, and I'm interested in getting multiple opinions and perhaps even personal experience hence why I posted on this FORUM.

    If this thread annoys you so much because part of the questions raised here were very summarily answered in that one post, you don't have to open it.
  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
    When you lose weight, you aren't only losing fat. It is actually a combination of things (water, fat, possibly some muscle as well).

    To target fat loss: small deficit and strength training. weight lost on the scale will still be a combination of fat and water.

    A calorie deficit is what helps you lose weight. It is easier to maintain a calorie deficit if you eat healthier/nutrient dense foods than if you eat calorie dense/little nutrients foods. There are no foods that make you magically burn more fat. It's calories in vs out.

    You could eat a serving of ice cream every night if you wanted. As long as you stay under maintenance level calories you will lose weight.

    I personally eat a combination of both. Helps keep me sane.

    Yesterday for lunch I had:
    4.6 oz tilapia
    144g baked potato
    2 tbsp light butter (1tbsp to cook the fish, 1tbsp on the potato) **typically I buy normal butter. My mom did my grocery shopping for me while I was recovering from my c-section a few weeks ago. **
    **roughly 384 calories**
    or I could have had 1 Mcdouble from Mcdonalds. :indifferent:

    I still eat at Mcdonalds from time to time, but I generally have to balance it out somewhere. Either by eating less during the day or making sure I'm moving non stop all day so that it is easier to fit in.

    I think the key is to balance it out. It's okay to have a treat here and there. It shouldn't really impact weight loss any. It wouldn't be very healthy for you to eat the high calorie/low nutrient stuff and it would probably be hard to keep to your calorie goal. For me that 390 cal Mcdouble is not filling (I typically eat 2 and then I end up hungry again 2 hrs later, but the plate of tilapia with baked potato was filling (wasn't hungry again for until dinner time). On top of that I avoided the loads of sodium in the burger which would have made me retain water (high amounts of sodium are really bad about doing that).

    edit: ugh I have spelling errors out the....well I'm sure you can fill in the blank. Pardon my horrible spelling and grammar. I don't get much sleep these days.
  • When you lose weight, you aren't only losing fat. It is actually a combination of things (water, fat, possibly some muscle as well).

    To target fat loss: small deficit and strength training. weight lost on the scale will still be a combination of fat and water.

    A calorie deficit is what helps you lose weight. It is easier to maintain a calorie deficit if you eat healthier/nutrient dense foods than if you eat calorie dense/little nutrients foods.

    You could eat a serving of ice cream every night if you wanted. As long as you stay under maintenance level calories you will lose weight.

    I personally eat a combination of both. Helps keep me sane.

    Yesterday for lunch I had:
    4.6 oz tilapia
    144g baked potato
    2 tbsp light butter (1tbsp to cook the fish, 1tbsp on the potato) **typically I buy normal butter. My mom did my grocery shopping for me while I was recovering from my c-section a few weeks ago. **
    **roughly 384 calories**
    or I could have had 1 Mcdouble from Mcdonalds. :indifferent:

    I still eat at Mcdonalds from time to time, but I generally have to balance it out somewhere. Either by eating less during the day or making sure I'm moving none stop all day so that it is easier to fit in.

    I think the key is to balance it out. It's okay to have a treat here and there. It shouldn't really impact weight loss any. It wouldn't be very healthy for you to eat the high calorie/low nutrient stuff and it would probably be hard to keep to your calorie goal. For me that 390 cal Mcdouble is not filling (I typically eat 2 and then I end up hungry again 2 hrs later, but the plate of tilapia with baked potato was filling (wasn't hungry again for until dinner time). On top of that I avoided the loads of sodium in the burger which would have made me retain water (high amounts of sodium are really bad about doing that).

    Thank you. This is helpful and that meal sounds awesome!! I too love Mcdonalds, especially a big mac and french fries, but I can't bring myself to starve all day so I can have that one glorious meal just yet...I'm too early in my journey to feel like I earned a cheat day as well. That's why I'm hoping a few sweets a day to satisfy my sweet tooth will help me stick with my otherwise "clean" eating in the long run.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
    When you lose weight, you aren't only losing fat. It is actually a combination of things (water, fat, possibly some muscle as well).

    To target fat loss: small deficit and strength training. weight lost on the scale will still be a combination of fat and water.

    A calorie deficit is what helps you lose weight. It is easier to maintain a calorie deficit if you eat healthier/nutrient dense foods than if you eat calorie dense/little nutrients foods.

    You could eat a serving of ice cream every night if you wanted. As long as you stay under maintenance level calories you will lose weight.

    I personally eat a combination of both. Helps keep me sane.

    Yesterday for lunch I had:
    4.6 oz tilapia
    144g baked potato
    2 tbsp light butter (1tbsp to cook the fish, 1tbsp on the potato) **typically I buy normal butter. My mom did my grocery shopping for me while I was recovering from my c-section a few weeks ago. **
    **roughly 384 calories**
    or I could have had 1 Mcdouble from Mcdonalds. :indifferent:

    I still eat at Mcdonalds from time to time, but I generally have to balance it out somewhere. Either by eating less during the day or making sure I'm moving none stop all day so that it is easier to fit in.

    I think the key is to balance it out. It's okay to have a treat here and there. It shouldn't really impact weight loss any. It wouldn't be very healthy for you to eat the high calorie/low nutrient stuff and it would probably be hard to keep to your calorie goal. For me that 390 cal Mcdouble is not filling (I typically eat 2 and then I end up hungry again 2 hrs later, but the plate of tilapia with baked potato was filling (wasn't hungry again for until dinner time). On top of that I avoided the loads of sodium in the burger which would have made me retain water (high amounts of sodium are really bad about doing that).

    Thank you. This is helpful and that meal sounds awesome!! I too love Mcdonalds, especially a big mac and french fries, but I can't bring myself to starve all day so I can have that one glorious meal just yet...I'm too early in my journey to feel like I earned a cheat day as well. That's why I'm hoping a few sweets a day to satisfy my sweet tooth will help me stick with my otherwise "clean" eating in the long run.

    That guy said basically the exact same thing that bajoyba quoted from the sexy pants link. Just different words.
  • mtoasty79
    mtoasty79 Posts: 18

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    An aside on food selection

    I am a firm believer in moderation. However, if you're the type that can't have a serving of potato chips without eating two bags of potato chips then it stands to reason that you may not be able to practice moderation with potato chips. I concede that for some people, elimination of some things, even if temporary, could be a viable short term strategy while you learn to apply moderation. That being said, I think "most" people will do very well using a food selection strategy where somewhere around 80% of their diet consists of whole and nutrient dense foods with the other 20% consisting of whatever you prefer.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym

    Yes, health is important and you should be looking to consume a lot of nutrient dense foods in your diet. But this doesn't mean you can't also have a pop tart or some ice cream. Going from fat to not fat is very likely to significantly improve your health.

    This was actually in the link she provided. You said you skimmed over it and found nothing that answered your question. I found this and it was an answer to your question.

    Stop being ungrateful when people are trying to help you.
  • When you lose weight, you aren't only losing fat. It is actually a combination of things (water, fat, possibly some muscle as well).

    To target fat loss: small deficit and strength training. weight lost on the scale will still be a combination of fat and water.

    A calorie deficit is what helps you lose weight. It is easier to maintain a calorie deficit if you eat healthier/nutrient dense foods than if you eat calorie dense/little nutrients foods.

    You could eat a serving of ice cream every night if you wanted. As long as you stay under maintenance level calories you will lose weight.

    I personally eat a combination of both. Helps keep me sane.

    Yesterday for lunch I had:
    4.6 oz tilapia
    144g baked potato
    2 tbsp light butter (1tbsp to cook the fish, 1tbsp on the potato) **typically I buy normal butter. My mom did my grocery shopping for me while I was recovering from my c-section a few weeks ago. **
    **roughly 384 calories**
    or I could have had 1 Mcdouble from Mcdonalds. :indifferent:

    I still eat at Mcdonalds from time to time, but I generally have to balance it out somewhere. Either by eating less during the day or making sure I'm moving none stop all day so that it is easier to fit in.

    I think the key is to balance it out. It's okay to have a treat here and there. It shouldn't really impact weight loss any. It wouldn't be very healthy for you to eat the high calorie/low nutrient stuff and it would probably be hard to keep to your calorie goal. For me that 390 cal Mcdouble is not filling (I typically eat 2 and then I end up hungry again 2 hrs later, but the plate of tilapia with baked potato was filling (wasn't hungry again for until dinner time). On top of that I avoided the loads of sodium in the burger which would have made me retain water (high amounts of sodium are really bad about doing that).

    Thank you. This is helpful and that meal sounds awesome!! I too love Mcdonalds, especially a big mac and french fries, but I can't bring myself to starve all day so I can have that one glorious meal just yet...I'm too early in my journey to feel like I earned a cheat day as well. That's why I'm hoping a few sweets a day to satisfy my sweet tooth will help me stick with my otherwise "clean" eating in the long run.

    That guy said basically the exact same thing that bajoyba quoted from the sexy pants link. Just different words.

    Not sure why you think it's necessary to keep defending the sexypants post. I stated above I was looking for personal anecdotes. It's silly that I should have to make that clear plus the fact that I read the sexy pants post and it wasn't clear enough for me before asking my question. As I said above, the sexypants post is one guy's opinion - as he expressly stated in his post. If the person above states the same thing, great now I have multiple opinions which is what I was looking for.
  • NaeNaeJanae
    NaeNaeJanae Posts: 261 Member
    Here's an interesting story. It shows it doesn't matter what you eat, as long as you are in a calorie deficit.

    http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/11/08/twinkie.diet.professor/

    Not saying it's healthy though!!!
    :)

  • I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    An aside on food selection

    I am a firm believer in moderation. However, if you're the type that can't have a serving of potato chips without eating two bags of potato chips then it stands to reason that you may not be able to practice moderation with potato chips. I concede that for some people, elimination of some things, even if temporary, could be a viable short term strategy while you learn to apply moderation. That being said, I think "most" people will do very well using a food selection strategy where somewhere around 80% of their diet consists of whole and nutrient dense foods with the other 20% consisting of whatever you prefer.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym

    Yes, health is important and you should be looking to consume a lot of nutrient dense foods in your diet. But this doesn't mean you can't also have a pop tart or some ice cream. Going from fat to not fat is very likely to significantly improve your health.

    This was actually in the link she provided. You said you skimmed over it and found nothing that answered your question. I found this and it was an answer to your question.

    Stop being ungrateful when people are trying to help you.

    I don't think you know what ungrateful means. That aside, the sexypants poster keeps saying "I think xyz...." "In my opinion..." Thus it's not the be all and end all. Stop directing me there. I've read it and I wasn't satisfied. It's basic and does not answer my specific questions. Just because he thinks 20% indulgence is maintainable doesn't mean I'm not allowed to find out what other people think.
  • bajoyba
    bajoyba Posts: 1,153 Member

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Actually, that link is very valuable. The information it provides is how I've lost all of my weight so far.

    It also contains the answer to your question: "Eat the appropriate caloric (and macronutrient) intake for your goals and track intake accurately. I think eating mostly nutrient dense and whole foods while still allowing some "treats" is a reasonable starting point/guideline."

    In other words, to lose weight, you need to eat at the appropriate calorie deficit. To meet your body's nutritional requirements, aim for a balanced diet, and don't be afraid to leave some room for treats. That link will also tell you exactly how to determine what your body's caloric and nutritional requirements are for your goals.

    Actually, that doesn't answer my question of whether certain foods will slow down weight loss despite still having a calorie deficit. Also it's just one person's opinion, as he admits, and I'm interested in getting multiple opinions and perhaps even personal experience hence why I posted on this FORUM.

    If this thread annoys you so much because part of the questions raised here were very summarily answered in that one post, you don't have to open it.

    I'm not annoyed. People are posting here because they're trying to help you.

    I gave you my personal experience, and I gave you my answer to your question. Which is: to lose scale weight, all you need is a calorie deficit. If you're concerned about body composition, then nutrition matters (and that information is explained and linked to in the sexypants link). But to elaborate here, the macro breakdown of your diet, along with your exercise program, will have an effect on your body fat percentage and your lean body mass.

    You can see how much weight I've lost, and my diary is open, so you can see exactly what I eat. There's a reason why the sexypants link is so popular - it works. And it works for a lot of people. Don't complicate it. It's not about which specific food items are good or bad. It's about finding the balance of macro nutrients that both helps you adhere to your diet and helps you meet your nutritional needs with regard to your weight and fitness goals.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Way to disregard one of the most helpful posts on MFP. Why would someone take the time to restate something that has already been stated so well when they can just give you the link? No one here owes you anything so either show some gratitude for someone's honest attempt to help you or keep it to yourself.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    An aside on food selection

    I am a firm believer in moderation. However, if you're the type that can't have a serving of potato chips without eating two bags of potato chips then it stands to reason that you may not be able to practice moderation with potato chips. I concede that for some people, elimination of some things, even if temporary, could be a viable short term strategy while you learn to apply moderation. That being said, I think "most" people will do very well using a food selection strategy where somewhere around 80% of their diet consists of whole and nutrient dense foods with the other 20% consisting of whatever you prefer.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym

    Yes, health is important and you should be looking to consume a lot of nutrient dense foods in your diet. But this doesn't mean you can't also have a pop tart or some ice cream. Going from fat to not fat is very likely to significantly improve your health.

    This was actually in the link she provided. You said you skimmed over it and found nothing that answered your question. I found this and it was an answer to your question.

    Stop being ungrateful when people are trying to help you.

    c579xst.gif

  • I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Actually, that link is very valuable. The information it provides is how I've lost all of my weight so far.

    It also contains the answer to your question: "Eat the appropriate caloric (and macronutrient) intake for your goals and track intake accurately. I think eating mostly nutrient dense and whole foods while still allowing some "treats" is a reasonable starting point/guideline."

    In other words, to lose weight, you need to eat at the appropriate calorie deficit. To meet your body's nutritional requirements, aim for a balanced diet, and don't be afraid to leave some room for treats. That link will also tell you exactly how to determine what your body's caloric and nutritional requirements are for your goals.

    Actually, that doesn't answer my question of whether certain foods will slow down weight loss despite still having a calorie deficit. Also it's just one person's opinion, as he admits, and I'm interested in getting multiple opinions and perhaps even personal experience hence why I posted on this FORUM.

    If this thread annoys you so much because part of the questions raised here were very summarily answered in that one post, you don't have to open it.

    I'm not annoyed. People are posting here because they're trying to help you.

    I gave you my personal experience, and I gave you my answer to your question. Which is: to lose scale weight, all you need is a calorie deficit. If you're concerned about body composition, then nutrition matters (and that information is explained and linked to in the sexypants link). But to elaborate here, the macro breakdown of your diet, along with your exercise program, will have an effect on your body fat percentage and your lean body mass.

    It's not about which specific food items are good or bad. It's about finding the balance of macro nutrients that both helps you adhere to your diet and helps you meet your nutritional needs with regard to your weight and fitness goals.

    Thank you all for your "help." It's very "helpful" for multiple people to post the same link after I've said that I read it and I wasn't satisfied. If your contribution to this thread (and I don't mean you specifically) is to copy and paste stuff from a thread I have already said that I've read and then you get uptight that I'm still not satisfied, it's not helpful. Why can't I ask for other opinions? Why can't I ask for personal experiences?
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
    I wouldn't expect too much help from anyone going forward after the way you've behaved in this post.

  • I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Way to disregard one of the most helpful posts on MFP. Why would someone take the time to restate something that has already been stated so well when they can just give you the link? No one here owes you anything so either show some gratitude for someone's honest attempt to help you or keep it to yourself.

    I'm not disregarding it as I've already read it. I never said anyone owes me anything - you all responded on your own accord. Why should I show you gratitude? I keep saying I want others' opinions and you all keep posting the same link.

    If you don't have anything helpful to contribute or supportive to say, don't respond. You all are the ones name calling. It's uncalled for.
  • I wouldn't expect too much help from anyone going forward after the way you've behaved in this post.

    I'll reserve my future questions for the motivation/support thread. Seems like this forum should only have one thread and no chance to ask your own questions if everyone who hangs around here is just gonna direct you to the same thread. I don't mean to be rude, but it's quite ridiculous that I have to keep defending my right to seek other answers.
  • mtoasty79
    mtoasty79 Posts: 18
    If you don't like the link then try a little experimentation. One week fill up your diet with pure crap while maintaining a deficit and the next eat healthy whole foods and proteins. You can answer your own question and stop wasting everyones time that's trying to help you.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Way to disregard one of the most helpful posts on MFP. Why would someone take the time to restate something that has already been stated so well when they can just give you the link? No one here owes you anything so either show some gratitude for someone's honest attempt to help you or keep it to yourself.

    I'm not disregarding it as I've already read it. I never said anyone owes me anything - you all responded on your own accord. Why should I show you gratitude? I keep saying I want others' opinions and you all keep posting the same link.

    If you don't have anything helpful to contribute or supportive to say, don't respond. You all are the ones name calling. It's uncalled for.

    Literally no one has called you names.

  • I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Way to disregard one of the most helpful posts on MFP. Why would someone take the time to restate something that has already been stated so well when they can just give you the link? No one here owes you anything so either show some gratitude for someone's honest attempt to help you or keep it to yourself.

    I'm not disregarding it as I've already read it. I never said anyone owes me anything - you all responded on your own accord. Why should I show you gratitude? I keep saying I want others' opinions and you all keep posting the same link.

    If you don't have anything helpful to contribute or supportive to say, don't respond. You all are the ones name calling. It's uncalled for.

    Literally no one has called you names.

    "Ungrateful."
  • If you don't like the link then try a little experimentation. One week fill up your diet with pure crap while maintaining a deficit and the next eat healthy whole foods and proteins. You can answer your own question and stop wasting everyones time that's trying to help you.

    Actually your experimenting idea is not something mentioned in sexypants. Imagine that! But really, if I wanted to experiment I wouldn't have asked the question. If I'm wasting your time, stop posting here.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member

    I skimmed it. Didn't see anything that answered my specific questions. Besides, if you or someone else will take the time to post this link, just take the time to answer my specific question, huh?

    Way to disregard one of the most helpful posts on MFP. Why would someone take the time to restate something that has already been stated so well when they can just give you the link? No one here owes you anything so either show some gratitude for someone's honest attempt to help you or keep it to yourself.

    I'm not disregarding it as I've already read it. I never said anyone owes me anything - you all responded on your own accord. Why should I show you gratitude? I keep saying I want others' opinions and you all keep posting the same link.

    If you don't have anything helpful to contribute or supportive to say, don't respond. You all are the ones name calling. It's uncalled for.

    Literally no one has called you names.

    "Ungrateful."

    Again, no one has called you any names. Saying that you're being ungrateful is not only demonstrably true, it's an attempt to help you to change your attitude so that maybe you can get the advice you're looking for.