Men: how much does a woman's weight really matter?

Not a man, but perhaps your confidence level is what is making the difference. I am pretty sure that most men wouldn't even notice the difference between a size 12 and a size 14 unless they were looking at the tag on your jeans.

It's not the weight! I got my husband to date me when I was at my highest weight, and I was wearing a 14! I just oozed sex appeal, or something like that. Anyway, there was something about me that he liked, and my size had nothing to do with it.

Regardless of weight, height, eye color, hair color, etc. there is someone out there who thinks you are SMOKIN' HOT. These physical qualities 'matter' more in the first 30 seconds than they do once you find out that the person in front of you is real, with actual motivations, interests, likes and dislikes. . . but given that short window where these things are really important in an adult relationship, the folks who focus too much on your weight are probably too insecure to be worth your time.

If YOUR concern is how much a man thinks of a woman's weight, then you need to start at home.

Raise your standards of men. Be who you want to be. Forget the rest.

ETA: Every guy will have a different opinion on what he likes. Some prefer athletic, some like average, some want skinny, some prefer large. Just be yourself.

Agreed.

to me, not much. if i am attracted to you, then I am - no matter what the weight. I have dated women around 100lbs, and I have dated women around 200 lbs and their weights just didn't matter because something else about them attracted me to them.

but to some people, it does matter. Height, weight, hair, eye color, tattoos, etc. are all factors people take into consideration. And it's just about preference more so than anything else, I think.

Reality is, when you do find a partner for life - no matter what their weight is (or hair color or height etc) - in your life time you will see that person in all kinds of different looks. some will get fat, and then get skinny again, or vice versa. some will go bald, wrinkles appear, and hair goes gray... so while physical attraction might be the spark, there needs to be good stuff in a person's mind and soul to keep that flame going after looks fade away.

A lot of men are really clueless as far as size.

The way I see it if a man is attracted to a woman, he's attracted to her. Doesn't matter the size/weight.

I managed to gain back about 15lbs. My fiance... honestly had no idea and still says it must all be muscle.
(I'll keep him)

I don't care what a woman weighs, or what size she wears. If she looks good, that's all I care about. I've dated women of all sizes, heights, weights, colors.. just look good, and be attracted to me.

You have an amazing shape..I just looked at your photos. I think maybe it is just the 'click' you have been getting hasnt been there with these men you have been meeting recently. Most men of any quality are looking for a lot more then your size.

In saying all that I have seen people on dating sites post pics of them from years ago when they were thinner....or angles they are deceiving etc. If someone would have done that to me (I have online dated in the past) I would not be upset they were larger when we met but I would feel in some way like they were sneaky or lying or not confident enough to show me their true self...which is not attractive.

Thanks for this post. Men, tell the truth, please.

Frankly, it's not the end of the world. The connection is what is most important; mentally, sense of humour, intelligence level, likes and dislikes, and all those things.

Undoubtedly, there is a subconscious effect, but being a personality match / best friend is what matters long term.

Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

I couldn't tell you what a size 6, 8, 12, or 75 means nor do I care....

What do I care about?

You're attractive to me
You're a good person
You're not an idiot

You will not find a one size fits all answer (no pun intended).

Edited because pun is a very difficult word to spell apparently

I always expect good things from u Red. Thanks for not disappointing. :bigsmile:

I found my guy online when I was heavier. I never had a problem with the weight factor. But that doesn't mean every guy I went with liked me or that I liked them. I dated about 7 guys and only 2 were interested, and I would consider that VERY fast for online dating.

However, I was watching the Tyra Banks show once and a woman was a guest and saying she was having trouble with online dating because of her weight. Tyra showed her how to take photos of herself to make sure she looks great and is not deceiving. I tried it and I would honestly say it was really good advice (and I usually take Tyra with a grain of salt).

Tips:
1) Make sure you're well lit in every photo - not washed out, not too dark.
2) Take a photo of your face
3) Take a photo where you're BACKED UP from the camera so they can see you (weeds out anyone who cares, regardless of size)

Other things I did:
4) I put up multiple photos that all represented me
a) Me at a friends wedding all dolled up
b) Me at work with my hardhat and work clothes on looking like a slob
c) Me out for a walk without make up but in nice clothes (because I'm not one to wear makeup usually. If you are, then wear makeup)
d) Me doing a standard picture shot

Most importantly, make sure the photos are CURRENT. I had my mom photograph me.

I'm going to marry the last fellow I met online and he told me his least favourite photo of me was me at the wedding because it was too close up and I had clearly cropped someone out haha. Not what I would have expected to hear.

Edit: Grammar