Men: how much does a woman's weight really matter?

I have NEVER cared about the weight of a woman I've dated. Now, I'm not trying to give the impression that I'm some sort of "great guy" that can overcome lack of physical attraction for a big brain or a great sense of humor. All I'm saying is I don't give a s**t about numbers (scale/sizes/etc). If a woman has a nice build, curves in the right places and is confident with herself; she's good to go in my book.

but basically you are saying she has to have a certain LOOK.

I think it's his preference. I have my preferences too..it's human nature. I just don't think someone should look SOLELY on a size, which is what I think he was trying to say.

I have had a recent foray into online dating, and I am currently size 14. I am confident in myself, as I feel that I am pretty attractive and accomplished regardless of my weight. However, I notice that not getting much response from men in terms of second dates at the least, or a sense of excitement if there is a second date as I do when I'm even at a size 12. My girlfriends insist that weight isn't that big a deal in and if itself... But I don't buy it. When it comes to professional, educated men, does weight truly trump all else when it comes to dating? Am I just wasting my time even putting myself out there up until I'm back to a size 6-8?

Na, weight doesn't make a bit of difference. Don't you feel the same OP?

This is going to sound SO conceited and I assure that it is not but I personally have no problems with dating with my current weight (250 lbs). I have friends that are thinner than I am as well as less confidence. It's all about confidence. If you feel insecure then they will pick up on that, if you feel desparate there are pheromones that are released and it works against you and turns men off. There are so many factors that often weight-in than weight.

My personal experience is to be fun, smile, be confident, listen, and interact.

Also, be prepared for the fact that YES there will be guys out there who won't like you for your weight. DO NOT DWELL ON THIS. There will be exponentially more who don't care about it then those who do.

Also, have fun. Dating is supposed to be fun, not a serious of monotonous interviews.

Best of luck sweetheart!

I think it does matter.

And I hate to say this, but as a woman in my 30's I'm right there with you when I say it... but our dating pool has shrunk tremendously because a lot of great guys are already married.

And unfortunately again, there are more women than men.

I've dated men from the internet who said straight up "I was very attracted to your face, and your eyes, but not your body, it is the weight."

It sucked really bad to hear that, but I give them props for being honest.

That actually takes a lot.

My advice would be to post honest accurate pics of your whole body, hips, sides, whatever, so they can see what's up, not just your pretty face.

We all have a pretty face, and we all look skinny at the right angle.

Don't give them any surprises.

That way, the ones that you do date will honestly be much more open to dating you at your size.

Looks like everyone is taking the diplomatic route on this one, as it is the Motivation and Support board. That's kind.But if you want an honest answer: I am not particularly attracted to big women. Not anything I can control - I just know from experience the kind of person that makes me turn my head.

I have no idea what sizes are - i only know my own size. I googled size 14, its probably above what would make me turn my head (again, from my own experience).

There are probably bigger women who i would fall for. Many guys don't care about the size. But many do. Some prefer big, small. That shouldn't stop you from going out, being confident, and getting to know the man of your dreams.

I hate these threads.

Looks like everyone is taking the diplomatic route on this one, as it is the Motivation and Support board. That's kind.But if you want an honest answer: I am not particularly attracted to big women. Not anything I can control - I just know from experience the kind of person that makes me turn my head.

I have no idea what sizes are - i only know my own size. I googled size 14, its probably above what would make me turn my head (again, from my own experience).

There are probably bigger women who i would fall for. Many guys don't care about the size. But many do. Some prefer big, small. That shouldn't stop you from going out, being confident, and getting to know the man of your dreams.

This is a solid answer and not far off a few others. There is a preference range.

Just for the record not everyone looks the same in a size 14. I'm a size 14. I'm also 5'9" and I have 20% body fat.

I have NEVER cared about the weight of a woman I've dated. Now, I'm not trying to give the impression that I'm some sort of "great guy" that can overcome lack of physical attraction for a big brain or a great sense of humor. All I'm saying is I don't give a s**t about numbers (scale/sizes/etc). If a woman has a nice build, curves in the right places and is confident with herself; she's good to go in my book.

but basically you are saying she has to have a certain LOOK.

Hell yes that's what I'm saying. I don't believe I tried to express differently.

Not a man, but wanted to comment!

I'm assuming your online dating to do more than date casually, if not then nevermind. But being a size 14 or whatever is actually a really good way to weed out the bad ones, the ones that are only interested in your appearance and nothing else. This is because not all guys are the same, as demonstrated here...plenty of them don't care about size. But there are plenty out there that it matters...and some its all that matters. For example, I used to be considered a beautiful girl, when I was a size 6-8 and guys would check me out all the time. I've been a 12-16 for years and well, I haven't gotten a single look in all these years.

It just depends on the person. My husband loves me no matter what my size, he met me when I was overweight and continued to date me, just like what the other poster said. Those are the kind of men I think you should be looking for, the kind that look for beauty on the inside OVER beauty on the outside. But I don't think you should change who you are for them, but for yourself. Which I'm sure you are doing anyway, but I thought I'd mention it just in case. Then you just have to be more selective on which guys are worth keeping around. Make sure the one guy loves you for you, and not for your appearance!

Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

You sound bitter and your male friends sound shallow. Any guy who marries based on just how she looks and not what she's really like is a fool.

You are the one showing off your abs? Isn't that advertising? How about being an intelligent person beyond your body?

I'm not sure about this.. .but I'm pretty sure it is possible to be intelligent AND have a great body. Fair?... perhaps not. But life's not fair. Also, She happens to be one of the most self-motivated and intelligent people I know. Just throwing that out there.

No - it's all about confidence.

Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

You sound bitter and your male friends sound shallow. Any guy who marries based on just how she looks and not what she's really like is a fool.

You are the one showing off your abs? Isn't that advertising? How about being an intelligent person beyond your body?

Advertising? Perhaps her hard work that she's put into losing weight and getting herself strong, healthy and fit. What else are you trying to imply there?

My advice would be to post honest accurate pics of your whole body, hips, sides, whatever, so they can see what's up, not just your pretty face.

We all have a pretty face, and we all look skinny at the right angle.

Don't give them any surprises.

That way, the ones that you do date will honestly be much more open to dating you at your size.

^^^ This. I am on match.com and have been out on quite a few dates since May. This is the biggest complaint I hear from guys when I ask about their experience on match.com or other online dating sites.

Me? I've put up full length recent shots of myself so there are no surprises. I represent myself the way I am, and I expect it in return. Unfortunately, men lie about being 'athletic and toned' (which to their credit, is extremely subjective, as my opinion of athletic and toned can be very different from other people's ideas) and their height all the time.

I'm going to be really shallow here, and I really don't care, but what I am looking for in a guy (and especially ONLINE, because it's ONLINE) is looks first, then I read the profile, and so forth...

If they aren't matching the body type criteria I have, I'm probably not going to go out on a date with them, unless they've got some mind blowing online profile(not common).

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