Men: how much does a woman's weight really matter?

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Replies

  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    I couldn't tell you what a size 6, 8, 12, or 75 means nor do I care....

    What do I care about?

    You're attractive to me
    You're a good person
    You're not an idiot

    You will not find a one size fits all answer (no pun intended).

    Edited because pun is a very difficult word to spell apparently
    Pretty much my 3 criteria..........especially the not an idiot
  • LazerMole
    LazerMole Posts: 99 Member
    The biggest thing that weeded out anyone who wasn't interested in my body type? Loads of photos with my body in my profile. And none of those strategically posed, super flattering things, either.

    I had pretty pictures, too. But I made sure that I would *never* be accused of "false advertising."

    I also made it abundantly clear when talking with potential meet-ups that if they were under any impressions that I was thin or skinny, that they were sorely mistaken and would be responsible for their own disappointment.

    I wasn't super huge at the time (14/16 at 5'10"), but it's better to exceed expectations than fall short.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I'm sure I didn't get as many replies to my online dating profile because of my weight, which, thankfully, means that douche bags were automatically weeding themselves out.

    HARSH! Wow guy who likes slimmer girls = *kitten*? You could say the same about any body part and preference. I guess you are rationalizing this to make yourself feel better.

    DBs are those who don't like her, apparently. It's not even necessarily about weight. One of the best lessons you can learn, OP, is that not everyone is going to like you. Accept it. Let it go. They don't even have to be bad people. It's just the way life is. Keep looking until you find the person who loves you then take good care of each other. If you're really lucky you'll find him.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    So long as I can pick them up, it's not a big deal.
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  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    If it matters to him, he doesn't matter to me.
  • Bostonsoul
    Bostonsoul Posts: 151 Member
    Honestly I love curves and I like a woman to be soft and squeezable..weight isn't a big issue for me.
  • mlanders22
    mlanders22 Posts: 140 Member
    I've done my fair share of online dating while being a size 12/14. I'm honest in my description of myself and included full body photos. I never had issues finding guys to date, so this isn't a universal guy issue.
    However, if your weight is making you feel insecure and act insecure, the guy will pick up on that guaranteed. And it's always a turn off.
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  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    I couldn't tell you what a size 6, 8, 12, or 75 means nor do I care....

    What do I care about?

    You're attractive to me
    You're a good person
    You're not an idiot

    You will not find a one size fits all answer (no pun intended).

    Edited because pun is a very difficult word to spell apparently

    I can go along with this....
    But weight is an issue still....
    I prefer not to big, but at the same time, not to small....
  • MelisMusing
    MelisMusing Posts: 421 Member
    You be you. There are men out there who have their preferences- and that has nothing to do with you personally. Attraction is what it is. There are guys out there who love a curvy woman, and some who prefer a more athletic type- but they're all out there. What matters more is that you don't let anyone determine your confidence or make you feel like you are not sexy or attractive or desirable based on what THEY find attractive.

    It's all relative.
  • xsophieanne
    xsophieanne Posts: 29 Member
    im a girl but it depends really
    i'm a uk size 18 and i'm never single out of choice (i do love being single though i want to travel alone and move halfway across the country i don't have time for a boyfriend)
    the fact is some men like thin girls
    some men like bigger girls
    i actually know a guy who at school used to bully me for being fat, but i forgive him now, he has a bigger girlfriend and actually likes bigger girls but couldn't admit it to his friends at the time
    honestly you just have to stop worrying about it i never really cared about how i look weight wise, i mean yeah i know i look better in my own eyes when i'm smaller, but the fact is some people are attracted to certain things
    some girls like tall guys, fat guys, thin guys, athletic guys
    same with men lmao
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
    There are all different types of guys that like all different types of women, so don't lose any sleep over that.

    I will say though, as a seasoned online dater, you have to be super up front with how you look in your profile. If you secretly think your body type is "could lose a few lbs" but you select "curvy" cause you think it sounds better, you're doing yourself a disservice. Use full body shots, be honest with how you look and be proud of who you are! That way no one can come into it saying they expected something different.

    Also, I was online dating (okcupid/match/eharmony/tinder - ugh.) for like a year but I always met them at the same bar where I knew the bartender and felt comfortable that he'd have my back if something went wrong. Fast forward and now I'm dating the bartender, so maybe try that option. You never know :P
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
    It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
    I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

    You sound bitter and your male friends sound shallow. Any guy who marries based on just how she looks and not what she's really like is a fool.

    You are the one showing off your abs? Isn't that advertising? How about being an intelligent person beyond your body?
    This is a fitness site, and she is one who has worked incredibly hard to get to show off those abs.
    You DO sound bitter.

    You aren't in a fake world. You just gave up trying and are pretending the world is worse than it is so you don't feel bad about giving up.

    I would say I felt sorry for you. But I don't want to be fake.
  • I_need_moar_musclez
    I_need_moar_musclez Posts: 499 Member
    As long as the bewbs on the back aren't bigger than the ones on the front, then LET'Z RHUMBLE!!!
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    I PREFER a 12. I My range is 6-20, although the sweet spot is 10-14.
  • phil6707
    phil6707 Posts: 541 Member
    it depends if you are talking of the morbidly obese king of person or not

    I personnally like my women with "some meat on the bone" if I can say
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  • Elsie_Brownraisin
    Elsie_Brownraisin Posts: 786 Member
    Depends, how are you in the sack?

    I was once informed that fat girls are better - we try harder, because we don't get it as often. I wasn't fat at the time but still felt obliged to point out he was a t**t.
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  • dropdeadgreggie_
    dropdeadgreggie_ Posts: 166 Member
    Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
    It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
    I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

    You sound bitter and your male friends sound shallow. Any guy who marries based on just how she looks and not what she's really like is a fool.

    You are the one showing off your abs? Isn't that advertising? How about being an intelligent person beyond your body?

    Take a look at her ticker. She has earned the right to show her abs to whomever she wants.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    I PREFER a 12. I My range is 6-20, although the sweet spot is 10-14.

    I hope you're talking about sizes and not ages.

    Ha! Of course. I don't think too many pedophiles also like 20-year olds. If I wan't married though, I'd be looking in the 27-45 range.
  • Elsie_Brownraisin
    Elsie_Brownraisin Posts: 786 Member
    I PREFER a 12. I My range is 6-20, although the sweet spot is 10-14.

    I hope you're talking about sizes and not ages.

    Ha! Of course. I don't think too many pedophiles also like 20-year olds. If I wan't married though, I'd be looking in the 27-45 range.

    You are incredibly specific, if only more people were like you, online dating would be easier.
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
    From personal experience most of the men that I know could care less about size. My best friend from high school, who knew me at my smallest of 125 to now at 165 says that I still look great. The boyfriend who also knew me at 125 and now at 165 says that my size doesn't matter to him. He enjoys our time together and he is with me for my personality, level head and logic. (Apparently I'm not some emotionally driven, touchy-feely, mushy girlfriend and he's not that type of boyfriend either)

    So the men I know don't really care about size. They both said that weight and even looks will change with age but what truly matters and what will keep the relationship going is not what's on the outside.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Not a man, but perhaps your confidence level is what is making the difference. I am pretty sure that most men wouldn't even notice the difference between a size 12 and a size 14 unless they were looking at the tag on your jeans.

    SOOOO much this. I am sure it's your confidence level, not the size. If you said like size 20 vs 8, then yeah it's probably the guys prefer a thinner body type. But the fact that you're noticing a real difference between basically the smallest of plus sizes and largest of non-plus sizes sounds more like a mental roadblock on your part. People (in all situations, not just dating) pick up on your self-confidence by how you carry yourself and behave.
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  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
    I couldn't tell you what a size 6, 8, 12, or 75 means nor do I care....

    What do I care about?

    You're attractive to me
    You're a good person
    You're not an idiot

    You will not find a one size fits all answer (no pun intended).

    Edited because pun is a very difficult word to spell apparently

    :flowerforyou:
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    Oh, BTW, as that chick on Louis pointed out, it's the guys who aren't confident that worry about dating women who are not thin. Yes, some people just have preferences they can't change (I could not be with a size 0 or someone morbidly obese, but normal to "regular" obese are ok), but in general, guys are attracted to a wider range of women than they consider socially acceptable to date, depending on how much they care about what other people think. I used to care what other people think, but I don't give a (*&^) anymore.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    Let's be honest, weight isn't an issue until you take a vacation to some place exotic and you have to ride in one of those tiny propeller planes. You know, the ones where the have to weigh the luggage before you get on it. That's when you're going to wish you'd been a little pickier picking out your partner. Just my two cents. YMMV.

    Or if you don't have a car and plan on picking up your date in a rickshaw.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
    It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
    I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

    You sound bitter and your male friends sound shallow. Any guy who marries based on just how she looks and not what she's really like is a fool.

    You are the one showing off your abs? Isn't that advertising? How about being an intelligent person beyond your body?

    This is just bizarre. Are you saying that you can't present yourself well (including your hard work on a fitness site) AND be intelligent and interesting? I certainly beg to differ.

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