Men: how much does a woman's weight really matter?

Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

You sound bitter and your male friends sound shallow. Any guy who marries based on just how she looks and not what she's really like is a fool.

You are the one showing off your abs? Isn't that advertising? How about being an intelligent person beyond your body?

Take a look at her ticker. She has earned the right to show her abs to whomever she wants.

I PREFER a 12. I My range is 6-20, although the sweet spot is 10-14.

I hope you're talking about sizes and not ages.

Ha! Of course. I don't think too many pedophiles also like 20-year olds. If I wan't married though, I'd be looking in the 27-45 range.

You are incredibly specific, if only more people were like you, online dating would be easier.

Not a man, but perhaps your confidence level is what is making the difference. I am pretty sure that most men wouldn't even notice the difference between a size 12 and a size 14 unless they were looking at the tag on your jeans.

SOOOO much this. I am sure it's your confidence level, not the size. If you said like size 20 vs 8, then yeah it's probably the guys prefer a thinner body type. But the fact that you're noticing a real difference between basically the smallest of plus sizes and largest of non-plus sizes sounds more like a mental roadblock on your part. People (in all situations, not just dating) pick up on your self-confidence by how you carry yourself and behave.

Oh, BTW, as that chick on Louis pointed out, it's the guys who aren't confident that worry about dating women who are not thin. Yes, some people just have preferences they can't change (I could not be with a size 0 or someone morbidly obese, but normal to "regular" obese are ok), but in general, guys are attracted to a wider range of women than they consider socially acceptable to date, depending on how much they care about what other people think. I used to care what other people think, but I don't give a (*&^) anymore.

Weight doesn't matter as much as appearance does. So many men get fooled by the outer packaging then they wake up and are like "What the hell did I marry?" I have tons of guy friends that fall for it every time, and come crying to me, the ordinary, plain, tomboy. They've been crying on my shoulder over 20 years, but because I don't give so much time to outer displays, I'm overlooked. And btw, when I was 138 lbs. I had an A-hole tell me I should have skin surgery!
It's sad but the airbrushed world takes precedence, but it is what it is. There are nice people in the world, and lots of fools. When you buy a product, you should buy into the quality of the product, not the packaging. I am the generic, plain, box with a quality product, but since I don't advertise, it's hit and miss.
I yam what I yam, and rather be alone that deal with a fake world. I'm authentic and rather be happy than fake.

You sound bitter and your male friends sound shallow. Any guy who marries based on just how she looks and not what she's really like is a fool.

You are the one showing off your abs? Isn't that advertising? How about being an intelligent person beyond your body?

This is just bizarre. Are you saying that you can't present yourself well (including your hard work on a fitness site) AND be intelligent and interesting? I certainly beg to differ.

Someone who isn't attracted you just isn't attracted to you - that's ok. Are you attracted to every guy you meet? Also you miss that "we just noticed eachother" thing you get when you meet someone in person rather than online or on the phone for the first time. I'd encourage you to try to meet people doing the same things you like to do - that's who you'll be most compatible with. Doesn't hurt to try something new too - like a co-ed intramural kickball team - smile. Best of luck!

Image is important. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to convince themselves, or they have an agenda. But, a lot of other comments here are correct... different people will find different things attractive.

I met my wife via online dating... and I went through a LOT of dates to find her.

One of the biggest pet-peeves I had about online dating was that every woman seems to post pictures that are 5 years or 50 pounds ago on the site. Maybe they did that just to convince a guy to go on a date with them, and hope that once he met her he would fall in love with her anyway... but it always just proved to me they lacked self-confidence and probably had other issues going on I just didn't want to waste my time with.

Just make sure you are advertising yourself truthfully. If you only post recent "glammed up" head-shots, or your body shots are back from when you were a size 6 or 8... then show up on the date as a size 14... he's going to notice, despite whatever your girlfriends tell you. He'll smile and laugh during the date and play nice... but then you'll never hear from him again once the evening is over.

But, if you post recent pictures that show who you really are today... you might not have as many responses to your profile, but the responses you do get will be quality ones you can expect a second date from. Honesty goes a LONG way...

Best of luck to you!

I'm sorry I can't give you any advice about online dating. I'm married to someone who picked me up the old fashioned way (by being drunk and lecherous in a pub) but for me personally, I mostly don't care. I've dated fat and thin men and women both. I might not find someone attractive based on their picture, what they've written, or both, but it wouldn't be their weight.

The advice people have offered about taking a good picture seems a good idea though.

I'm a size 16 and I pull more men than my friends who are 4's and 6's. Confidence, a sense of humor, and smiling goes a long way with most men I've encountered. Don't stress your weight too much or you'll never be happy with yourself.

Let's be honest, weight isn't an issue until you take a vacation to some place exotic and you have to ride in one of those tiny propeller planes. You know, the ones where the have to weigh the luggage before you get on it. That's when you're going to wish you'd been a little pickier picking out your partner. Just my two cents. YMMV.

Or if you don't have a car and plan on picking up your date in a rickshaw.

Or, as part of a romantic weekend away, you visit a tiny village that was decimated by the plague in the middle ages and you take it in turns to see if you can fit in the stone medieval coffins in the church and one of you can....but the other can't.