Grrrr....Hubby sabatoge

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13

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  • zerryz
    zerryz Posts: 168 Member
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    So My Hubby 2 months ago started a gluten free diet.

    Seems gluten intolerance does not exist in people w/o celiac disease. Keep eating at home peaceful by stopping your diet. If you nevertheless want to stay on it, Doesn t have to be pricey. You can keep it low cost by eating meat, veggies and fruit bought in reasonably priced grocery stores.

    Some links of why gluten free eating might be nonsense.

    http://n.pr/1m0LQb0
    http://bit.ly/1iLDXD8
    http://1.usa.gov/1sIwonW
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Are you his wife or his mother? It just seems like such a big overreaction on your part both towards him as well as deciding to make a huge deal of it to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

    He's a grown man. He knows what his issues are and if he wants to ignore it and have a slice of pizza...that's that. Did you think maybe you harping on him has led him to sneak food behind your back? Yes, you have his best interests in heart but again, he's a grown man and you aren't his mother.
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
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    So he had a moment of weakness and snuck a pizza. We've all done stuff like that. Be supportive and cook a nice meal for him that fits in your plan. Avoid nagging or making him feel like he's horrid or it will backfire. Treat him like you would want to be treated when there's something you can't resist, because that day will probably come if you're human.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    How dare he eat pizza while you are at work?

    Grounds for divorce.
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
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    very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous

    He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.

    I see what you did there! lol
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous

    He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.

    what-you-did-there-i-see-it.jpg

    FIFY :bigsmile:
  • zorbaru
    zorbaru Posts: 1,077 Member
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    so many people judging on here. sounds like he had a small relapse which really isnt surprising. we have all done it.
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
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    If he isn't diagnosed celiac's and it's just "we went off gluten because supposedly gluten is bad for everyone" then stop doing that. Restrictive diets trigger binges, cause deficiencies and crybaby nonsense (this isn't proven, but seems legit).

    Eat a modest deficit and stop labeling food as "bad."
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
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    Umm, sorry but things could be worse than your husband eating pizza.
    HE will be the one that will feel terrible after doing so.
    I say this because I cut gluten out of my diet 90% , five years ago. And still have pizza, pay the price, once in a great while.
    Your comment about buying expensive gluten free foods...stop. No need to spend extra money , just cut those things out of your diet.
    If feeling better isn't worth the change in diet than what is the point ?
    My husband . Rolled his eyes when I started MFP, when I cut back on gluten. Did I care ? No.
    Now he eats what I eat and I never said a word to him about his diet.
    He realized what I was doing was making me feel so much better, lose weight, etc.
    Give this change for both of you some serious more time. Two months is not a very long time.
  • GetFitzy
    GetFitzy Posts: 17 Member
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    I'm not suggesting that anyone who has a cheat day is depressed...but if he is home all day, and he knows you are the financial provider rather than him, etc - is it possible he's having a bout of depression and is eating his feelings? if so maybe an AD would help..if he was willing to try it. or i could be way off and it was just a pizza craving and he gave in. either way he's not a bad person, obviously. just...food for thought. UGH i hate puns.
  • Loralrose
    Loralrose Posts: 203
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    So My Hubby 2 months ago started a gluten free diet.

    Seems gluten intolerance does not exist in people w/o celiac disease. Keep eating at home peaceful by stopping your diet. If you nevertheless want to stay on it, Doesn t have to be pricey. You can keep it low cost by eating meat, veggies and fruit bought in reasonably priced grocery stores.

    Some links of why gluten free eating might be nonsense.

    http://n.pr/1m0LQb0
    http://bit.ly/1iLDXD8
    http://1.usa.gov/1sIwonW

    To clarify, all your sources said non-celiac gluten intolerance is much less common than previously thought - NOT that it doesn't exist. Also, all these tests were done specifically on people with gastrointestinal symptoms. My mother gets blistering rashes any time she eats gluten... I have a hard time believing it's all in her head.
  • karenMcMillan0712
    karenMcMillan0712 Posts: 82 Member
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    Are you his wife or his mother? It just seems like such a big overreaction on your part both towards him as well as deciding to make a huge deal of it to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

    He's a grown man. He knows what his issues are and if he wants to ignore it and have a slice of pizza...that's that. Did you think maybe you harping on him has led him to sneak food behind your back? Yes, you have his best interests in heart but again, he's a grown man and you aren't his mother.

    No I am not his mother but I am his wife and I felt lied to. I have no problem him eating the pizza but dont lie to me about it. Today he is in great pain and oh well. I do what i do out of love and felt like it was a slap in my face. Since he just started working after a year and I do my best to keep us going. It was hurtful-my feelings-but today it is better and I needed to vent-I was upset 1 he was being sneaky and 2 he knows what I gave up and How I struggle-If he said I am going to Pizza Hut Fine go-I do not want to go-not my way. And If It is on the interenet oh well-like you know Us? Anyways Just wanted to vent and hear ohters thoughts,In the end I am married for Life and love my Hubby -Want him around for a long time. But I also want honesty.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    You must be a real peach to live with, OP. Just wow. Micromanaging his diet and complaining about him on the internet is definitely the magic combination for marital bliss.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous

    He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.

    No kidding. Margherita is the tasty little number that's been visiting my house. Mid week. When the husband's working.

    Ummmm. Nevermind.

    My taste buds and I are very angry with you. :angry: Though a little slice of Margherita pie would assuage my pain and suffering. :bigsmile:
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    If you truly are "married for life and love him" then I hope you learn this lesson fast. You will never change another person on the face of the Earth, but you. Married people that have healthy relationships talk to each other and try to resolve differences or come to a compromise. Sometimes, it's just to agree to disagree. Putting things out on an internet forum is probably not going to help you. It sometimes causes you to be a fighter in all the wrong battles.

    Talk to him. Discuss your concerns and then, because he's an adult, let him make his own decisions. I bugged my husband (with COPD) to quit smoking for a while. I love him, I'm concerned about him. Then I realized that I was not taking my own advice. I shut up and he eventually quit 2 years ago. He did it. It's the only way that works.

    Good luck.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,285 Member
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    Okay....this is why I work solo. And why I don't do restrictive diets.

    this is why I think marriage is evil
  • Corsetopia
    Corsetopia Posts: 307 Member
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    very sad you were doing everything to help him. Wonder if he had been doing this all along or if it was a one time mistake. I would have a long chat with him if he wants to cheat then I wouldn't encourage him any more, just look after yourself and when if not already you look amazing he will be jealous

    He cheated. He wlll always be a cheater. If he's the kind of dude who likes enjoying dirty little secrets while she is at work, it doesn't matter how amazing she looks. there will always be a willing pizza somewhere.

    "How you do 'n?"
    DSC08167.JPG

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    This made this thread worth it.
  • karenMcMillan0712
    karenMcMillan0712 Posts: 82 Member
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    If you truly are "married for life and love him" then I hope you learn this lesson fast. You will never change another person on the face of the Earth, but you. Married people that have healthy relationships talk to each other and try to resolve differences or come to a compromise. Sometimes, it's just to agree to disagree. Putting things out on an internet forum is probably not going to help you. It sometimes causes you to be a fighter in all the wrong battles.

    Talk to him. Discuss your concerns and then, because he's an adult, let him make his own decisions. I bugged my husband (with COPD) to quit smoking for a while. I love him, I'm concerned about him. Then I realized that I was not taking my own advice. I shut up and he eventually quit 2 years ago. He did it. It's the only way that works.

    Good luck.

    Thank you we are in a great place-I Just needed to vent. ANd I am in need of learning tolerance and acceptance. But will not feel bad for posing a problem on the internet with strangers-I got it of my chest-Saw it in the right light and moved on. I am Human after all-But this to shall pass and we are better and yes he has to decide as I have. I am patient I will wait.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
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    I don't think that a few slices of pizza is going to kill your whole weekend, That being said, he is an adult (presumably), if he wants to eat gluten and feel crappy after, so be it.

    Just worry about you :wink:

    I have to disagree-He will be in the can every fifteen minutes for the entire weekend. So yes there will be no fun outside our home

    You don't have to stay in the house and listen to his buttsplosions. You can go out and have a great time by yourself -- have a long lunch, check out a store you've always wanted to but couldn't because he would get bored, have a nonfat latte and read a book at a coffee shop somewhere. Take this as your ticket to be out, about, and totally free of restrictions.

    When you get home, you will be glowing because you have had a wonderful day, and he will be cranky because he's been sh*tting his guts out, and you can brush past him with a "I don't want to hear it. It was your choice," and shut. It. Down. the rest of the day.

    If he does it again tonight, then you get another wonderful girl-day tomorrow. Perhaps come home with some stories of the fish you saw at the aquarium, or the treats you enjoyed at the farmer's market. Eventually he will figure out that if he acts like an idiot, he doesn't get to have fun. Or he doesn't figure it out. Either way, you have had a weekend free of buttsplosions and full of nail polish and tea.

    Edited to add: and yes, the honesty issue is a huge thing, but that has to be addressed at a different time when he's not in physical pain. And perhaps after he sees that following his diet means he gets to be with you doing fun stuff. For now, you do you -- and have a lovely girl weekend.

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