Men: how much does a woman's weight really matter?

Attraction does matter....but....as far as the weight issue, taking a gander at your pics...you are one hot momma. Seriously, you are proportioned and gorgeous. In your case, I really don't think it's the weight unless you've had the misfortune of finding man after man only attracted to one certain willowy thin body type.

I'm really not trying to be rude here, but this is the problem with women talking for men.

The OP is gorgeous IMO, proportioned, but based off her pictures she's a larger woman. Some men would love that, but the facts are a lot of men would not. Some men just will never be attracted to larger women. It does not mean that the men who prefer a smaller woman are only attracted to a "willowy thin body type". There is a lot of variety in shape and size between a size 14 and a size 0 (though of course most of us don't think in terms of women's sizes). In my experience too many women tend to hype each other up by talking FOR men. You can't speak for a single man, much less what men in general like. We're just as varied in our attractions as women are.

Another thing with the OP is that her face is slimmer than her body. If I saw a picture of her on a dating site I would assume she was a pretty svelte woman. Perhaps one of the reasons she's having trouble landing a second date is that she appears smaller in her pictures than what some of these men expect when they see her in person. They're going on a date expecting to see this slim, gorgeous blonde and are perhaps a bit disappointed that her body doesn't match their assumptions based off her lean face.

all men will tell you it about the inside

but as a heavier girl I have watched males chase after shallow women because they were hot

and didnt know i was cute till i lost weight

too late for them

Bottom line men are visual creatures and if this isnt satisfied when meeting, you may go into the friend zone pretty fast.

Men cant help it they were designed this way. THERE IS someone out there who will lay eyes on you and get himself sparked up, once that chemistry is going he will want to get to know you and then care about what is inside.

Best bet ???? Older men, they have been through relationship ropes and can value the true worth of a woman in a way youngish and younger men cant, wisdom and maturity....oh and LOTS of experience

my humble opinion

If I'm truly in love, little.

If I'm in just in lust, a lot.


That's not to say that I don't have standards when I am in love (and I am). We all have preferences. I am married and I truly believe that spouses should work to be as attractive to one another as possible, to help keep the spark alive, keep the heat turned up. But when you're in love, the deeper you go, the more attraction becomes about more than the flesh. My wife has been struggling with weight loss for years, though to a lesser degree than I have. I can objectively state that she's not physically at her most attractive, and that at her size I wouldn't necessarily try and get with her if she was a stranger. But I've loved this woman my entire adult life. My attraction to her, the way she affects my mind, my body, my soul, are entrenched in ways that far eclipse her physical appearance.

When my wife loses the weight, I'll celebrate for her and myself. First and foremost for health, because her weight has adversely affected her health (and she's nowhere near morbidly obese). I'll celebrate because I am attracted viscerally to voluptuous, but fit, bodies (which my wife is at her ideal weight). I'll celebrate because she'll feel better about herself, more confident, and in turn that'll only make us even better.

But even if that stuff never happened, it doesn't change the fact that I love her and I want her even now. She is my soulmate. She means everything to me. What we have can only be enhanced by being in amazing shape, but it can never be destroyed by not.

I have had a recent foray into online dating, and I am currently size 14. I am confident in myself, as I feel that I am pretty attractive and accomplished regardless of my weight. However, I notice that not getting much response from men in terms of second dates at the least, or a sense of excitement if there is a second date as I do when I'm even at a size 12. My girlfriends insist that weight isn't that big a deal in and if itself... But I don't buy it. When it comes to professional, educated men, does weight truly trump all else when it comes to dating? Am I just wasting my time even putting myself out there up until I'm back to a size 6-8?

Let me take a different approach. In my experience, judging by my current and former clients and colleagues, yes. The razor thin, yoga taking, hot housewife is a bit of a stereotype for a reason. Of course, most of the ones I know have professional degrees themselves and bring a hell of a lot more to the table than looks. But, you have to ask yourself, why is dating an educated and professional man so important to you? Would a sincere, caring, and intelligent fireman really be all that bad? One of the wisest and loving friends I have is an EMT, and he definitely has life figured out. He simply doesn't care about money. What are you bringing to the table in terms of education and career potential? My wife and I were married young, went to school together, got fat together, and got fit together. You have to find someone that fits you in ways that these online dating wish lists don't seem to drill down into. Just keep at it and keep an open mind, and don't be afraid to ask yourself the same questions that you're asking this community.

I actually dated a firefighter a few years ago. Had he been more intelligent and less of a womanizer, I might have dated him longer. He was awfully good-lookin'! So... You and your wife helped each other through college, huh? That's sweet.


Oh, and just a quick reminder... Pretty sure I said I was looking for my equal ( not better) in terms of " looks as well as character, values, and awesome sense of humor" I don't think I said anything specific about earning potential. I am a high school English teacher with a MA in English lit... Since you asked. I think having a similar lifestyle and background makes for a good relationship.

Dating sites may be the issue. On a bike ride a few years ago, one our female riders decided to keep us entertained telling us about her "crash and burn" dates. The ride lasted seven days, she still had stories to tell... (So there are a lot of frogs to kiss and tires to kick out there...)

Weight matters. But it's just one thing among a thousand.
Relax, have fun, don't even bother thinking about the second date. It's likelier to happen if you have a blast and enjoy yourself.

I can tell you right off what the problem is and its not your size. The type of guy you are going after will tend to make more money then the average guy. People that make a lot of money will be very picky (about everything not just the people they date). Where I live, even a firefighter can make 2-3x as much as a teacher. My friends that make a lot are so super picky about the women they date its crazy and my broke friends are not picky at all.

Hell I am broke at the moment, if you pay for the first date I would put a ring on it( be warned it might be one I find in a cracker jack box but somehow I would make it fit my macros)