Boyfriend refuses to respect that I want to workout alone?
Replies
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Then leave. is it that hard.
MY bad he should leave you. Ummm his choice in foods makes sense. Why eat a lot if you did not burn a lot. He is trying to help you get to your goal.
That's what you took away from this?
OP, are there other areas in your life where he tends to be on the controlling side?
He's not controlling in other aspects although he can be intrusive if I want to spend less time with him and more time with friends, but nothing that I would deem as out of the ordinary you know?
I find that asking for relationship advice on the internet is out of the ordinary. *shrug* :ohwell:0 -
MY bad he should leave you. Ummm his choice in foods makes sense. Why eat a lot if you did not burn a lot. He is trying to help you get to your goal.
I'm capable of doing that myself. I can track my own food intake as well as my own fitness goals. I don't need someone monitoring that for me. He doesn't know what else I've eaten that day, maybe I made room for it in my day?
It still does not change the fact that there are many red flags in this one aspect of life.
He is in the military too. That not a red flag but I know the Army personnel mindset since I work for the Army.
What's the mindset then? I might be missing something, cause other military men I've dated have not acted this way. Besides he's fine in other aspects, just not this one.
if he is find in other aspects but this one STOP trying to change him. He is who is who right. It is his one flaw BTW everyone has flaws there is no perfect SO. If you cannot be with that one flaw then leave. I sure you broke up with other guys for way less than this.
It sounds like you are annoyed but willing to accept that this is how workouts will be.
I'm still waiting on elaboration on the military mindset, since I consider that statement to be a bold one.0 -
MY bad he should leave you. Ummm his choice in foods makes sense. Why eat a lot if you did not burn a lot. He is trying to help you get to your goal.
I'm capable of doing that myself. I can track my own food intake as well as my own fitness goals. I don't need someone monitoring that for me. He doesn't know what else I've eaten that day, maybe I made room for it in my day?
It still does not change the fact that there are many red flags in this one aspect of life.
He is in the military too. That not a red flag but I know the Army personnel mindset since I work for the Army.
What's the mindset then? I might be missing something, cause other military men I've dated have not acted this way. Besides he's fine in other aspects, just not this one.
if he is find in other aspects but this one STOP trying to change him. He is who is who right. It is his one flaw BTW everyone has flaws there is no perfect SO. If you cannot be with that one flaw then leave. I sure you broke up with other guys for way less than this.
It sounds like you are annoyed but willing to accept that this is how workouts will be.
I'm still waiting on elaboration on the military mindset, since I consider that statement to be a bold one.
I'm waiting on this one too.0 -
My husband and I used to workout together. At first I thought it would be a great thing- he's a Marine, in wonderful shape and we would spend some time together without our child. But I found him "telling" me what to do sorta of annoying since I used to go alone. Even if I went off on my own I just found I didn't push as hard if he wasn't there.
He also found he liked working out in the morning so much better than waiting for me at night (childcare).
So we eventually stop going together. I told him the truth, that somehow it bothered me and I didn't like to have a workout buddy. it wasn't even just him- it was anyone, my mom, sister, friend. It was just a distraction for ME, for him having someone was a push. He will still go if I asked, he will still run or do anything I asked him to do.... Be honest, otherwise he will think you don't want him around.0 -
Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.0 -
You're expecting him to cater to your wishes, and you're not willing to meet his.
You cannot expect to change his behavior, so change your own.
Use him being there as motivation to go harder, run faster, and give him some info that doesn't demoralize you.0 -
Just tell him the truth.....or just break up!0
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I notice when people enter or are in the military, whatever branch, are dating someone at the time that marriage comes out of no where. That statistics is 99% of friends and what I encounter at work.
My friend who did that and is divorced now told me that when you enter the military you feel like you want something to come back home to.
Any former military folks disagree with this statement?0 -
Just break up already!0
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Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?0 -
I notice when people enter or are in the military, whatever branch, are dating someone at the time that marriage comes out of no where. That statistics is 99% of friends and what I encounter at work.
My friend who did that and is divorced now told me that when you enter the military you feel like you want something to come back home to.
Any former military folks disagree with this statement?
What does that have to do with her wanting to go to the gym alone?0 -
I have to agree with the people that say to break up.
Going to the gym is a personal thing. I see the fitness couples at the gym and they lift together on occassion. Not all the time. They also dont always come together and each has their own personal goals. So each strives for those.
He sounds like he is too macho and has to feel like he is tougher. Its a military thing. Being a Marine myself (decomissioned officer) I know that I was very competative with everyone around me. Once I left the military, transitioning back to civilian life took some time. This transition was also with personal relationships. I needed to be less dominant and competative.
Also, being a couple doesnt mean you have to see one another every day or go to the same gym. He can go at a different time or to another club. He probably doesnt want guys looking at you or talking to you... he probably wants you to do his workout and is always watching you as you do yours away from him.
Sounds horrible. I imagine he is probably off in other parts of your relationship if something as simple as the gym is an issue.0 -
Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?
Read the other post she made about her telling him when he could and could not work out at the gym.
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I notice when people enter or are in the military, whatever branch, are dating someone at the time that marriage comes out of no where. That statistics is 99% of friends and what I encounter at work.
My friend who did that and is divorced now told me that when you enter the military you feel like you want something to come back home to.
Any former military folks disagree with this statement?
Now how is that relevant to my post?0 -
Honestly I would break things off since he clearly has little to no respect for you, it's like this big red flag being waved in your face and I would take it and run because if he can't respect you with something like this then I would hate to see things when they get to be a serious thing. Good luck
great and as she is running away with his red flag he is going to want it back so he will chase her down then everyone will call him a stalker when in reality she is a thief0 -
your probably the hottest girl he has been with , and he is worried you will leave him for a gym stud, so he probably is jealous and goes and makes sure your staying faithful
Dr.Phil would probably help you guys out.0 -
I notice when people enter or are in the military, whatever branch, are dating someone at the time that marriage comes out of no where. That statistics is 99% of friends and what I encounter at work.
My friend who did that and is divorced now told me that when you enter the military you feel like you want something to come back home to.
Any former military folks disagree with this statement?
What does that have to do with her wanting to go to the gym alone?
The question was mindset not what it has to do with being disrespect and not letting someone workout alone.0 -
Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?
Read the other post she made about her telling him when he could and could not work out at the gym.
I still don't understand what is wrong with having a desire to work out alone. Why is that bad? She asked him nicely and that didn't work. So she had to put her foot down. I still don't understand why this is horrible?0 -
Interesting.MY bad he should leave you. Ummm his choice in foods makes sense. Why eat a lot if you did not burn a lot. He is trying to help you get to your goal.
I'm capable of doing that myself. I can track my own food intake as well as my own fitness goals. I don't need someone monitoring that for me. He doesn't know what else I've eaten that day, maybe I made room for it in my day?
It still does not change the fact that there are many red flags in this one aspect of life.
He is in the military too. That not a red flag but I know the Army personnel mindset since I work for the Army.
What's the mindset then? I might be missing something, cause other military men I've dated have not acted this way. Besides he's fine in other aspects, just not this one.
if he is find in other aspects but this one STOP trying to change him. He is who is who right. It is his one flaw BTW everyone has flaws there is no perfect SO. If you cannot be with that one flaw then leave. I sure you broke up with other guys for way less than this.
It sounds like you are annoyed but willing to accept that this is how workouts will be.
I'm still waiting on elaboration on the military mindset, since I consider that statement to be a bold one.
I dated a Marine off and on for 10 years and my fiance is in the Navy. Neither of them behaved the way the OP's BF is behaving.0 -
Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?
Read the other post she made about her telling him when he could and could not work out at the gym.
I don't see how that's controlling, when it was a result of him being intrusive to begin with. Its not like we always attended the same gym, or I met him there. He joined because I go there and he wants to go when I go, period. I find that intrusive. I don't see why our relationship had to change his own fitness life.0 -
Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?
Read the other post she made about her telling him when he could and could not work out at the gym.
I still don't understand what is wrong with having a desire to work out alone. Why is that bad? She asked him nicely and that didn't work. So she had to put her foot down. I still don't understand why this is horrible?
I guess time will tell. 0 -
Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?
Read the other post she made about her telling him when he could and could not work out at the gym.
I don't see how that's controlling, when it was a result of him being intrusive to begin with. Its not like we always attended the same gym, or I met him there. He joined because I go there and he wants to go when I go, period. I find that intrusive. I don't see why our relationship had to change his own fitness life.
Yep, you are right....
It will be funny in a few years down the road, making a post of "Why want my SO join me at the gym??" :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
You told him, he needs to take a hint....
But I would like to see him post his side/POV of this situation as well.....
One sided stories don't paint a full picture.0 -
because if she was telling him when he can and cannot workout, she is being controlling. she should try to switch her workout schedule if she is the one bothered by it, but shes stated in later posts that he follows her to the gym so its a little greyNot to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?
Read the other post she made about her telling him when he could and could not work out at the gym.
I still don't understand what is wrong with having a desire to work out alone. Why is that bad? She asked him nicely and that didn't work. So she had to put her foot down. I still don't understand why this is horrible?0 -
I notice when people enter or are in the military, whatever branch, are dating someone at the time that marriage comes out of no where. That statistics is 99% of friends and what I encounter at work.
My friend who did that and is divorced now told me that when you enter the military you feel like you want something to come back home to.
Any former military folks disagree with this statement?
What does that have to do with her wanting to go to the gym alone?
The question was mindset not what it has to do with being disrespect and not letting someone workout alone.
But you made that statement, in this thread, therefore trying to make it connect? Unless you're just talking nonsense, which would explain many of your posts. I generally don't point out stupid statements like that, and let them go. But Youre just so rude and your ego is so large I wanted to point out that you're not saying anything useful, and instead just talking jibberish.0 -
I would not allow myself to be treated in such a fashion. It may seem a silly thing, but if you've explained it clearly to your boyfriend and he's agreed to respect your boundaries and then failed to do so, it's time to consider alternatives.
During these discussions, have you asked him specifically why it is that he wants to go to the gym with you when he knows it's harming your workouts? Have you encouraged him to voice his concerns about you going to the gym alone? There's obviously something going on with him to make him act in such a clingy/controlling manner. Communication is key...either you guys start communicating, not just talking, or you might as well pack your bags because the relationship is doomed.
Good luck! I hope you're both able to sit down and work it out.0 -
Not to be rude or a smartass.....
But I don't think you will have to worry about it much longer...
If he is smart he will put his foot down and walk away from you
After having spent 14 yrs of my life being dictated too, and controlled.....
I can tell you it is hell.....
He will get sick of it.
Wait. So his refusing to let her work out alone and telling her what to eat makes HER the one who is controlling? Is this because she has a vagina or do you have some other twisted logic to defend that conclusion?
Read the other post she made about her telling him when he could and could not work out at the gym.
I don't see how that's controlling, when it was a result of him being intrusive to begin with. Its not like we always attended the same gym, or I met him there. He joined because I go there and he wants to go when I go, period. I find that intrusive. I don't see why our relationship had to change his own fitness life.
So you are fine with him disrespecting you. Love makes people do crazy things.
option 1 keep arguing with him about this because he will not get it.
option 2 Leave0 -
You're probably cheating on him.0
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You're probably cheating on him.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
ask yourself this..."Do I want an open and honest dialogue with the guy I am going out with?" depending on your answer.. you might.. a.) Continue soliciting opinions and advice from the strange folk that inhabit the internet.. OR you might sit down with the man in your life.. offer him some assurance that YOU are not eyeballing other guys and that YOU want gym time alone to focus on you.
so what is the answer to the question?0 -
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