Telling someone that they gained weight

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Chibukalu908
Chibukalu908 Posts: 212
in Health and Weight Loss
Have you ever tell someone that they gained weight?Was it someone close to you out of concern or just your observation on your friend or family member? How did they take it .P.S.i am not planning to tell anyone that they gained weight but have been told on the past and it only angered me and resent the person.
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  • MarkFraser142
    MarkFraser142 Posts: 10 Member
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    Unless the other person brings it up first, i think it's a bad idea. If you are concerned about someone's health, it's not a bad idea to try and help them out. Invite them for walks and things like that. However, simply saying "You look like you've gained weight" is a bad idea. It's only going to hurt their feelings and, let's be honest, if you notice their weight gain - they've probably noticed it as well.
  • veephil31
    veephil31 Posts: 53 Member
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    From my personal experience I knew when I gained. No one had to tell me, I knew I had to buy bigger clothes and could see the gain...
  • Chibukalu908
    Chibukalu908 Posts: 212
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    Unless the other person brings it up first, i think it's a bad idea. If you are concerned about someone's health, it's not a bad idea to try and help them out. Invite them for walks and things like that. However, simply saying "You look like you've gained weight" is a bad idea. It's only going to hurt their feelings and, let's be honest, if you notice their weight gain - they've probably noticed it as well.

    like what I said I am not planning to tell someone that.Its not my place to tell someone that unless i was their doctor i was just curious
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    I tell my husband. We have an agreement about it. He's got a weight limit he wants to stay under and I keep an eye on his belly to see if he's looking more preggo than usual. :wink: It doesn't offend him. He's not overly concerned about his weight until he can't wear his favorite pants/shorts and he's rather lazy about how much he weighs.

    Anyone else I don't mention it unless they say something first. It's not my business how much someone else weighs.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I agree that people generally don't need to be told - they may be ignoring it, but they know.

    Even if for some reason circumstances dictate that you believe that someone needs to be told, I wouldn't ever consider doing it unless it was an extremely close family member or a partner. But I can't think of a reason you'd need to tell someone at all.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    you dont think they have noticed this themselves?

    i wouldnt bring it up unless they did
  • Chibukalu908
    Chibukalu908 Posts: 212
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    I agree that people generally don't need to be told - they may be ignoring it, but they know.

    Even if for some reason circumstances dictate that you believe that someone needs to be told, I wouldn't ever consider doing it unless it was an extremely close family member or a partner. But I can't think of a reason you'd need to tell someone at all.


    I agree with you but I clealy stated in my post that I am not planning to tell anyone or would tell someone unless if its my child and it was a health concern.I have been told in the past and I hated it. this question was hypothetical question
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I agree that people generally don't need to be told - they may be ignoring it, but they know.

    Even if for some reason circumstances dictate that you believe that someone needs to be told, I wouldn't ever consider doing it unless it was an extremely close family member or a partner. But I can't think of a reason you'd need to tell someone at all.


    I agree with you but I clealy stated in my post that I am not planning to tell anyone or would tell someone unless if its my child and it was a health concern.I have been told in the past and I hated it. this question was hypothetical question

    And I never said you were. I don't know how you expect people to answer your question without making at least the hypothetical assumption that someone is hypothetically thinking of telling someone that they've put on weight.

    I took into account your saying you weren't intending on doing so, but could think of no way else to phrase a response that makes sense.
  • ASH2038602
    ASH2038602 Posts: 215 Member
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    I actually just posted a Facebook status about this. I feel that a lot of in shape/thin people and people that have lost a lot of weight think it gives them a pass to make judgmental comments about other people and disguise it as concern. I have spoken to my boyfriend about some health concerns I have, but at the end of the day its his decision and I won't badger him about it. Outside of him, and my son, its not my place to approach anyone else. My mom wants me to join her in a "intervention" for my sister and I have refused. She knows she's over weight. She knows the risks. Saying anything to her will likely just piss her off, and hurt her feelings.
  • beastmode_kitty
    beastmode_kitty Posts: 844 Member
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    Its a very touchy subject!

    Before I lost my weight, I had a co-worker come up to me and say that he hears a congratulations is in order! I'm like what are you talking about, and he says, "You're pregnant". I said ummm I'm not. He was sooooooooo embarrassed and his girlfriend smacked him for saying it. I laughed it off at the time being, but it got me thinking, wow, I really need to do something about this. To this day, I never let him live it down whenever i see him LOL.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    No, I have never told anyone that they have gained weight.
  • _celesse
    _celesse Posts: 75 Member
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    I would like to keep living, so no. Besides, if somebody told me I looked like I gained weight they'd probably walk away with a black eye :P Anyway, it's pretty rude to make a comment like that.
  • ASH2038602
    ASH2038602 Posts: 215 Member
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    I didn't mean here, and I should have specified that. I find that almost everyone here is extremely supportive. I meant people on my Facebook (which is why I posted the status there) and some people that I know personally.
  • SomberG
    SomberG Posts: 36
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    No. I never have nor would.
  • klight1236
    klight1236 Posts: 69 Member
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    I'm the type of person that doesn't really think before speaking and I just say the first thing that comes to mind so yes i've told family and friends that they've gained weight.
  • Me_again143
    Me_again143 Posts: 7 Member
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    I've had it done to me and honestly I NEVER appreciated it. In hind sight they were correct (Parents) and only looking out for my best interest, but it was something I was already struggling with on my own and it felt hurtful being pointed out. I think the better way to do it is tell the person you need a work out buddy or you wanna go on a healthy eating program but don't want to do it alone. Encourage them to join you in your journey instead of trying to force them into their own.

    Unless it is someone extremely close to you, I wouldn't even do it unless you know for a fact that person is looking to start losing weight themselves. I know for me, I was stubborn and I was not ready to start losing weight until it was MY choice. Losing weight for someone else never works (at least not for me) and it can bring on resentment.
  • oxers
    oxers Posts: 259 Member
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    I never feel like it's acceptable to comment on someone's weight, tbh. Especially as a negative. It's their body, they *know*. They don't need you compounding whatever issues they have under the guise of being concerned for their health.

    One of my best friends and I went to a theme park today. I've dropped significant weight, and I can absolutely feel the difference between now and last year - how I fit the rides, how much energy I have, how I cope with the heat and with walking. My friend, who was larger than I was to begin with, has gained. She needs extra help getting into rides with safety bars. She has to rest every twenty minutes or so. Her heat tolerance is non-existent.

    I'm worried, but I'm not going to say anything. Not directly. It's not my body and therefore none of my business whatsoever, even if I love her. She can take care of her body however she wants to.

    What I WILL do is chatter on about my zumba class and the 5ks I'm running, my favorite recipes and how much better I feel and how much happier I am when I'm eating good food. I'll talk about my life, and if our paths should cross, grand. She's started asking me for advice so if she wants help, I'm here. I'll do whatever she wants me to do.

    But I sure as hell won't guilt her into doing it.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
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    My sister wears clothes that are far too small and extremely unflattering but I'd never tell her. If she's comfortable and confident in what she's wearing then who am I tell her otherwise.

    Usually someone knows if they've put on weight and the last thing they need is someone telling them. Some people only say it to make themselves feel better.

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