Advice at the Gym

24

Replies

  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    No. It's not cool to correct people. You don't know anything about that person or why she's doing what she's doing. Unless she's doing something immeneny dangerous, please keep your over eager, uninformed helpfulness to youself. Unless they ask, then you have free reign (at least on the topic asked).
  • DYELB
    DYELB Posts: 7,407 Member
    I've seen people struggling or looking lost and those are the people who don't come back later because they feel intimidated.

    This definitely played a role. I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines. I didn't want her to give up because it "wasn't working". She did look more than a little lost and uncertain.

    I hope she comes back. Minus my awkward staring.

    Chances are good there's a lot you're doing wrong too. I wouldn't be so quick to offer advice.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    I enjoy it when I see men doing it all wrong at the gym.
    I means seriously. .why would I WANT to help a dude get stronger and better looking than me!?
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    I had a guy offer me unsolicited advice once. He was very nice, but his suggestion felt totally wrong and uncomfortable and went against the instructions clearly printed on the equipment I was using. I finished doing it his way because he was still within sight, but never did it that way again.
  • amandzor
    amandzor Posts: 386 Member
    I've seen people struggling or looking lost and those are the people who don't come back later because they feel intimidated.

    This definitely played a role. I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines. I didn't want her to give up because it "wasn't working". She did look more than a little lost and uncertain.

    I hope she comes back. Minus my awkward staring.

    Chances are good there's a lot you're doing wrong too. I wouldn't be so quick to offer advice.

    I absolutely am. I honestly wish someone would come correct my squat form. I know I'm doing it incorrectly, but am too embarrassed to ask.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    I would be annoyed. Not your place, unless she asked you for advice or looked like she might hurt herself mind your own business. Yet another reason I love my home gym
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    20+ rep sets on leg press > 8 rep sets

    DYE3setsof10foroptimalresultsalways?
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    I've seen people struggling or looking lost and those are the people who don't come back later because they feel intimidated.

    This definitely played a role. I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines. I didn't want her to give up because it "wasn't working". She did look more than a little lost and uncertain.

    I hope she comes back. Minus my awkward staring.

    So you respect people that are overweight and working out but then dismiss them if they hit their goals and maybe look like "cardio bunnies"? This reeks of condescension and a superiority complex. You seem to make a lot of assumptions about people at the gym.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    That would have pissed me off and you might have gotten a punch in the face depending on my mood at the time. Mind your own business.
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
    This definitely played a role. I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines. I didn't want her to give up because it "wasn't working". She did look more than a little lost and uncertain.

    I hope she comes back. Minus my awkward staring.

    *makes sure to wear a sign stating "I AM NOT A CARDIO BUNNY!" when I do my cardio, especially when I am training for a race so that i don't get labeled because I"m doing a lot of cardio.*
  • gnzlsg
    gnzlsg Posts: 20 Member
    Nicely stated.
  • Bella0531
    Bella0531 Posts: 309 Member
    No.

    I had someone come up to me once (I was bench pressing, I was on my last set, was doing 3 sets of 3 reps at a new high weight). This guy came up to the head of the bench while I was lifting, dangled his shorts in my face and was like "c'mon, you can go for 5!". Um....no. That means he was watching me and counting my previous reps and decided that 5 was my new lucky number. Leave me alone, creeper!

    If I was doing something unsafe, then I'd want to know (and I would probably say something to someone else)...but just a critique on weight level...no.
  • gnzlsg
    gnzlsg Posts: 20 Member
    i love brower47
  • joepage612
    joepage612 Posts: 179 Member
    Unless someone looked in danger I would not give unsolicited advice. I mean, not every woman wants to get stocky thick legs.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    I've had people ask me for form advice at the gym... I help those people out. I did once help out a girl who hadn't asked for advice because the guy (looked like her dad) trying to teach her how to deadlift wasn't helping her at all. She looked awkward and lost as instead of demonstrating form he just kept telling her how to do it and she clearly wasn't getting it. He was also starting her out doing deficit deadlifts because he had no idea bumper plates existed. He honestly had no business helping her because he didn't know what he was doing himself and from the looks of things he was going to get her hurt. If someone is going to injure themselves, I'm stepping in. They both thanked me profusely for the help.

    In your case, you had no idea if she was new to lifting, trying out a new routine, changing programming, coming back from an injury, etc. As long as she wasn't doing something that could get her hurt, I think you had no business butting into her routine.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    I don't really appreciate it if someone says something to me, unless they were a trainer that worked there and I was doing something wrong. I was in the gym on a cruise a few years ago, was on the last few pushups of my third set, and this older guy came over, made me take out my headphones and gave me some "tips" on how to do them. Maybe my form was getting a bit sloppy, as I was tired at this point, but please don't interrupt my workout because you think you are a pro. Sometimes people just want to be helpful, and that's nice, but it doesn't always come across that way.

    I think the only time I would say something to someone is if they were looking around for something, or standing around for a while looking absolutely clueless. Even then I probably wouldn't, because like other people have mentioned, I have no idea what their workout consists of.
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
    I will just smile at you and possibly roll my eyes depending on the exact advice you are trying to give me.
  • redversustheblue
    redversustheblue Posts: 1,216 Member
    A very nice old man helped me out with the elliptical machine at the gym I went to for the first time ever a few days ago. However, he simply told me how to work it as I stood there befuddled (it was very hi-tech I swear). I was very thankful. However, If someone had come up offering advice on how to make my workout "better" or that I wasn't doing the workout portion right, I would not have been very receptive to it.

    I know you were trying to help, but I would be highly intimidated and probably not want to go back for fear of being watched and judged by people. Of course, I have anxiety and perhaps this girl could handle it better, but if someone had said that to me unsolicited, I would be very stressed.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    The problem is- she wasn't doing anything wrong (from you're description) and by wrong I mean anything that could have seriously injured herself or gotten herself pinned under weight. There for it was a programming issue. And until the door is opened on that one- or you are friends discussing it- then don't bring it up.

    Sure- do I sometimes go "ugh- I wish women would get over this whole 20 reps BS" and throw some weight around- yeah- I do it occasionally.

    And then I remind myself- self "you have NO idea of the program. what their goals are- and if they have injuries." it's none of your business. And I move on- usually making up some terrific and fanciful story justifying WHY they are doing said thing my brain thought was weird.

    People like to discuss/tell/inform/correct all the time. And unless I have a fatal flaw in my form- I'm not discussing it with you. I have a program. I'm following the program. It'snot YOUR program. and it may not make sense- but ultimately it's nunya.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines.

    Are you REALLY this ignorant????? :noway:

    I lift Monday - Wednesday - Friday. I am always there at 5pm, and the exact same people are there every time. I run at home Tues, Thurs, and a long run on Saturday.

    I recently tore a tendon. NO running allowed for several months. You know what I did? I plopped my butt down on the stationary bike at the gym. On Saturdays, I replaced my long run with a long bike ride. I would be there for 2+ hours, putting in at least 30 miles. It needed to be long enough to help replace a 13+ mile run. This also meant that there were a lot of people I never see, who only say me come in, sit down, bike for a couple hours while I read a book, and leave.

    Do you really think I need an attitude like yours? Dismissing me as a "cardio bunny" because I had to change my routine up? Jeesh.
  • weightliftingdiva
    weightliftingdiva Posts: 522 Member
    Yesterday while I was stretching after my lifting + treadmill walking there were two women doing bicep curls with 5 pound dumbbells. Of course I think to myself "I wish women would pick up heavier things."

    Do I comment? No, that would be rude. I don't know them or their goals. Is it likely they could be doing a workout that benefits them more? Probably. Is it my business to intercede? No.

    It's human to observe and make judgments about other people, including people in the gym. But it's rude to intercede and act like you know what's best for everyone.
  • hmrambling
    hmrambling Posts: 321 Member
    nope, I wouldnt want to be responsible for someone possibly injuring themselves. What if she had bad knees or something?

    Good insight. I never assume that everyone is in A-OK shape to press/lift their potential. I've had knee issues in the past and that advice might not work out so great with me.

    Did you assume liability for the advice?
    This is why I wear headphones at the gym.
    ^^ This.
  • redversustheblue
    redversustheblue Posts: 1,216 Member
    I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines.

    Are you REALLY this ignorant????? :noway:

    I lift Monday - Wednesday - Friday. I am always there at 5pm, and the exact same people are there every time. I run at home Tues, Thurs, and a long run on Saturday.

    I recently tore a tendon. NO running allowed for several months. You know what I did? I plopped my butt down on the stationary bike at the gym. On Saturdays, I replaced my long run with a long bike ride. I would be there for 2+ hours, putting in at least 30 miles. It needed to be long enough to help replace a 13+ mile run. This also meant that there were a lot of people I never see, who only say me come in, sit down, bike for a couple hours while I read a book, and leave.

    Do you really think I need an attitude like yours? Dismissing me as a "cardio bunny" because I had to change my routine up? Jeesh.

    I don't think they should be dismissing anyone. Who cares if someone just likes to do cardio? I can't stand the phrase cardio bunny. It's so rude. Maybe lifting is super great for everyone, but that doesn't mean everyone has to do it if they don't want to. It doesn't make them dumb or dismissable. They're just doing what they do just like you.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    i love brower47

    Don't we all?
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines.

    Are you REALLY this ignorant????? :noway:

    I lift Monday - Wednesday - Friday. I am always there at 5pm, and the exact same people are there every time. I run at home Tues, Thurs, and a long run on Saturday.

    I recently tore a tendon. NO running allowed for several months. You know what I did? I plopped my butt down on the stationary bike at the gym. On Saturdays, I replaced my long run with a long bike ride. I would be there for 2+ hours, putting in at least 30 miles. It needed to be long enough to help replace a 13+ mile run. This also meant that there were a lot of people I never see, who only say me come in, sit down, bike for a couple hours while I read a book, and leave.

    Do you really think I need an attitude like yours? Dismissing me as a "cardio bunny" because I had to change my routine up? Jeesh.

    I don't think they should be dismissing anyone. Who cares if someone just likes to do cardio? I can't stand the phrase cardio bunny. It's so rude. Maybe lifting is super great for everyone, but that doesn't mean everyone has to do it if they don't want to. It doesn't make them dumb or dismissable. They're just doing what they do just like you.


    Was that directed at me? Because I'm not the one dismissing people who like large amounts of cardio...I AM one of those people. I just happen to love lifting also and do both.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines.

    Are you REALLY this ignorant????? :noway:

    I lift Monday - Wednesday - Friday. I am always there at 5pm, and the exact same people are there every time. I run at home Tues, Thurs, and a long run on Saturday.

    I recently tore a tendon. NO running allowed for several months. You know what I did? I plopped my butt down on the stationary bike at the gym. On Saturdays, I replaced my long run with a long bike ride. I would be there for 2+ hours, putting in at least 30 miles. It needed to be long enough to help replace a 13+ mile run. This also meant that there were a lot of people I never see, who only say me come in, sit down, bike for a couple hours while I read a book, and leave.

    Do you really think I need an attitude like yours? Dismissing me as a "cardio bunny" because I had to change my routine up? Jeesh.

    I don't think they should be dismissing anyone. Who cares if someone just likes to do cardio? I can't stand the phrase cardio bunny. It's so rude. Maybe lifting is super great for everyone, but that doesn't mean everyone has to do it if they don't want to. It doesn't make them dumb or dismissable. They're just doing what they do just like you.


    Was that directed at me? Because I'm not the one dismissing people who like large amounts of cardio...I AM one of those people. I just happen to love lifting also and do both.

    I took it as a general comment that related to your point, not directed at you. Or expanding on your point.

    I agree with both of you, I am a weight lifter and cardio lover. I also agree that just because one chooses one or the other does not give anyone grounds to dismiss them.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    Based on all of the "Self Conscious at the Gym" threads, it's probably unwise to give unsolicited advice. A lot of people at the gym are barely working up the guts to get past the elliptical. I wouldn't want to be the reason someone felt more self conscious and quit, even if it meant that they weren't optimizing their workout. I would step in if someone were doing something dangerous. If someone was using equipment incorrectly (like, I don't know, using their arms in the leg press) and it wasn't dangerous, but it was legit wrong, I would notify staff to the tune of, "Excuse me, someone is using their feet to do the overhead press. Do you mind sending someone over there to show that person how to use the machine?" Low rep workouts do not qualify for this intervention.
  • redversustheblue
    redversustheblue Posts: 1,216 Member
    I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines.

    Are you REALLY this ignorant????? :noway:

    I lift Monday - Wednesday - Friday. I am always there at 5pm, and the exact same people are there every time. I run at home Tues, Thurs, and a long run on Saturday.

    I recently tore a tendon. NO running allowed for several months. You know what I did? I plopped my butt down on the stationary bike at the gym. On Saturdays, I replaced my long run with a long bike ride. I would be there for 2+ hours, putting in at least 30 miles. It needed to be long enough to help replace a 13+ mile run. This also meant that there were a lot of people I never see, who only say me come in, sit down, bike for a couple hours while I read a book, and leave.

    Do you really think I need an attitude like yours? Dismissing me as a "cardio bunny" because I had to change my routine up? Jeesh.

    I don't think they should be dismissing anyone. Who cares if someone just likes to do cardio? I can't stand the phrase cardio bunny. It's so rude. Maybe lifting is super great for everyone, but that doesn't mean everyone has to do it if they don't want to. It doesn't make them dumb or dismissable. They're just doing what they do just like you.


    Was that directed at me? Because I'm not the one dismissing people who like large amounts of cardio...I AM one of those people. I just happen to love lifting also and do both.

    No not directed at you. More so the OP who was saying that she wants to see so and so people kick *kitten* way more than "cardio bunnies." But also as a general statement.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines.

    Are you REALLY this ignorant????? :noway:

    I lift Monday - Wednesday - Friday. I am always there at 5pm, and the exact same people are there every time. I run at home Tues, Thurs, and a long run on Saturday.

    I recently tore a tendon. NO running allowed for several months. You know what I did? I plopped my butt down on the stationary bike at the gym. On Saturdays, I replaced my long run with a long bike ride. I would be there for 2+ hours, putting in at least 30 miles. It needed to be long enough to help replace a 13+ mile run. This also meant that there were a lot of people I never see, who only say me come in, sit down, bike for a couple hours while I read a book, and leave.

    Do you really think I need an attitude like yours? Dismissing me as a "cardio bunny" because I had to change my routine up? Jeesh.


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  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
    This is why I wear headphones at the gym.


    Doesn't stop some people.

    Awhile back I had 2 gym memberships. I wore headphones at both to keep people from talking to me about anything.

    I stopped going to one of them because a lady kept interrupting my workouts with advice. It drove me absolutely batty.
    I dont want people even saying hi to me, let alone commenting on my workout or my physique (had that at the same gym - awkward)

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