Advice at the Gym

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  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines.

    Are you REALLY this ignorant????? :noway:

    I lift Monday - Wednesday - Friday. I am always there at 5pm, and the exact same people are there every time. I run at home Tues, Thurs, and a long run on Saturday.

    I recently tore a tendon. NO running allowed for several months. You know what I did? I plopped my butt down on the stationary bike at the gym. On Saturdays, I replaced my long run with a long bike ride. I would be there for 2+ hours, putting in at least 30 miles. It needed to be long enough to help replace a 13+ mile run. This also meant that there were a lot of people I never see, who only say me come in, sit down, bike for a couple hours while I read a book, and leave.

    Do you really think I need an attitude like yours? Dismissing me as a "cardio bunny" because I had to change my routine up? Jeesh.

    I don't think they should be dismissing anyone. Who cares if someone just likes to do cardio? I can't stand the phrase cardio bunny. It's so rude. Maybe lifting is super great for everyone, but that doesn't mean everyone has to do it if they don't want to. It doesn't make them dumb or dismissable. They're just doing what they do just like you.


    Was that directed at me? Because I'm not the one dismissing people who like large amounts of cardio...I AM one of those people. I just happen to love lifting also and do both.

    I took it as a general comment that related to your point, not directed at you. Or expanding on your point.

    I agree with both of you, I am a weight lifter and cardio lover. I also agree that just because one chooses one or the other does not give anyone grounds to dismiss them.

    Ok, because I was like "hey!!! That's not fair!" :laugh:

    Sometimes I see something I wonder about in the gym, and sometimes I want to question that person. And then I remember the first time I ever went for a run. I only made it a few yards before I had to stop, and I cried all the way back to the house. Everyone starts somewhere, and I am no one to question anything I see.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    Here's the thing, if you're good at what you do, get paid for it. Don't give away good lifting advice for free.
  • spollard888
    spollard888 Posts: 2 Member
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    This is why I also wear headphones. If I want advice I'll seek out a person based on their qualifications. I don't want random people giving me unsolicited advice at the gun range (no, I wouldn't prefer a revolver because I'm a girl, thanks though), at the gym, at Home Depot, during group bike rides.... it annoys me. Why do you think you know more than me or that I haven't done my research or are not experienced? Are you a personal trainer or a shooting instructor or a certified cycle coach? If so then I will pay for your advice if I want it. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    People think there are special rules to conversation in the gym but that's just silly. As with the rest of life, if you are just trying to be kind and friendly I don't see anything wrong with it. I think the biggest issue in the gym is most people think they are doing it right and most people are wrong. You need to appreciate the fact that there is a good possibility that you know less than the person you are advising.

    Personally I would probably make an observation like you mentioned at the water cooler or in the locker room and phrase it as a question to find out why she was doing her reps that way rather than telling her how she should be doing her reps. She might be recovering from an injury or following a specific program and in the end you could learn something or end up helping her out if she wanted it.

    Yep. So many programs to run - every time I think I have a handle on things, and have a clue what's 'right' I come across a new lifting program where you do it all 'wrong'. :laugh:

    I use the leg press in a similar way as the girl OP advised ... because I am running Wendler's 5/3/1 and it's an accessory lift. You do 5 x 10 at whatever weight tires you out but doesn't put you in the hole.

    Since I do leg press after heavy squats followed by 5 x 10 deadlift at 60% max, you better believe the weight on the leg press is not going to be impressive. I'd go so far as to call it a weenie weight.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    i love brower47

    Don't we all?

    :blushing:
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    If I really looked like I was lost I would appreciate the help. Most people have no clue what they are doing and are too afraid to ask for help and then quit. I think that goes double for many overweight women.

    That does not discriminate to gender. Now if I do not know how to do something exercise wise, I look it up on google more likely.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    I have a hard time watching someone at the gym that could hurt themselves, mostly because I just love to help people, but it's hard to ignore. You know the type, we've all seen him. He's the guy who focuses primarily on his biceps (and usually has bird legs); he flings those dumbbells around so fast and jerky that you just KNOW he's going to end up pulling something... but I keep my mouth shut.

    You see, 10 years ago (I was still in the Navy) I lifted and ran regularly. At 5' 10 I was a very toned 145 pounds. Now, I am 235 (ish) and far from that toned (young?) woman I was. Regardless of what I know about lifting safely and effectively, no one wants advice from someone who doesn't LOOK like they know what they are talking about. I was trying to be helpful once and made a suggestion to this young woman (she was obviously very new to lifting) about her form to prevent strain on her back. Well, she took one look at me, sneered and basically told me to F*** off and mind my own business.

    I learned my lesson!

    Now I just do my own thing. I still find myself occasionally watching others in between sets or while waiting for a machine, but I keep all comments to myself.

    Looks can be deceiving. I look like this guy who is strong but that is so not the case I think especially for my weight.
  • allbarrett
    allbarrett Posts: 159 Member
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    Free advice is frequently worth exactly what you paid for it.

    I would not enjoy some random person coming up to me and giving me their free advice on how to do my workout. If i'm uncertain, I'll ask someone. Barring obvious "this person is going to seriously hurt themselves!" situations, my thought would be to butt out. And, even then, I'd be careful...what looks pretty dangerous to me might be just fine for someone else.

    I'm sure OP meant well, but I think unsolicited advice is a bad idea.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    I've seen people struggling or looking lost and those are the people who don't come back later because they feel intimidated.

    This definitely played a role. I'm always glad to see the full-figured ladies at the gym, because I really want to see them kick *kitten*. Way more than the cardio bunnies with their magazines. I didn't want her to give up because it "wasn't working". She did look more than a little lost and uncertain.

    I hope she comes back. Minus my awkward staring.

    Chances are good there's a lot you're doing wrong too. I wouldn't be so quick to offer advice.

    I absolutely am. I honestly wish someone would come correct my squat form. I know I'm doing it incorrectly, but am too embarrassed to ask.

    Squat form does take practice and core strength. Why do you think you are doing it incorrectly?
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    The biggest problem with "well-intentioned" people giving advice at the gym is that more than 70% of the time, they are wrong, too. So you haven't really accomplished anything except sending someone down a different wrong path than the wrong path they were on.
  • Luke_I_am_your_spotter
    Luke_I_am_your_spotter Posts: 4,179 Member
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    In that situation, no I wouldn't step in. When I first starting lifting I remember a guy came up to me while I was doing deadlifts and in a polite way he told me I was lifting with my back and he felt the need to say something so I wouldn't get injured. I was very thankful. Now that I am more experienced, the only time I will ever put in my two cents is if I see someone whose form is reallllllyyyyy messed up...its only happened once or twice but everyone has been thankful.
  • Wookinpanub
    Wookinpanub Posts: 635 Member
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    Last Saturday I saw an older man (say mid 60s) in the weight room. Now he had an outdated collared golf shirt on which is a clue he doesn't work out often. He jumped on the cable cross over machine. He used one of the cables with the rope attachment and stood at a 60-70 degree angle leaning back and using is momentum would frantically pull the cable to him. The whole machine shook and this is a big machine - device with the weight plates on each end. A lady was on the other cable and I am sure she was like WTF. Next he just grabbed the cable ring attachment (no handle) and did another type of pull exercise. 5 minutes later I see him sitting at a table having coffee and reading the paper. I guess his day was done.
  • FireOpalCO
    FireOpalCO Posts: 641 Member
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    I think if a person has good intentions and has valid information presented in a nice way it's not a problem. If they are just trying to show off or sound cool or are reaching for your equipment (not that kind!), then no.

    As far as the "there is probably stuff you aren't doing right too" comment. So what? It doesn't invalidate his/her correct advice. I know very little about free weights and would easily take advise from someone who did. However I do understand the mechanics of rowing a boat and wish I had the nerve to speak up to all the people who have no idea how to using a rowing machine and is one day going to break their own nose or tear their back. You would think with a diagram on the machine people would get a basic idea of the correct motions.
  • fitshantelle
    fitshantelle Posts: 8
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    lol
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
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    I think if a person has good intentions and has valid information presented in a nice way it's not a problem. If they are just trying to show off or sound cool or are reaching for your equipment (not that kind!), then no.

    Which is fine however you still do not know what my goals are or why I am doing what I am doing. Some days I lift light and do more reps. Other days I lift heavy and do lower reps. If you caught me on my light day and decided to tell me what I should be doing and why because you had "valid information presented in a nice way" I'd tell you to buzz off because you have no clue what you're talking about as it pertains to me and my workout
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    I think if a person has good intentions and has valid information presented in a nice way it's not a problem. If they are just trying to show off or sound cool or are reaching for your equipment (not that kind!), then no.

    As far as the "there is probably stuff you aren't doing right too" comment. So what? It doesn't invalidate his/her correct advice. I know very little about free weights and would easily take advise from someone who did. However I do understand the mechanics of rowing a boat and wish I had the nerve to speak up to all the people who have no idea how to using a rowing machine and is one day going to break their own nose or tear their back. You would think with a diagram on the machine people would get a basic idea of the correct motions.

    But her advice was not necessarily correct. From the OP, the only thing I can see the woman was doing "wrong" was higher reps, lower weight which is perfectly acceptable. The OP's advice was "right" in her opinion based on the belief of higher weight/low reps is best.

    Again, my issue with people giving advice is we all tend to think we are right. Unfortunately that isn't always the case.
    Giving form advice to avoid injury on something you have a strong background in is completely different than giving opinion based advice.
  • KnitWit70
    KnitWit70 Posts: 9
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    "Looks can be deceiving. I look like this guy who is strong but that is so not the case I think especially for my weight."

    You are correct! And I didn't mean to sound like such a 'know-it-all' as I am far from it. :smile:
  • 6ftamazon
    6ftamazon Posts: 340 Member
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    It's nice that you want to help, however, I don't think people should say anything unless someone is in danger of hurting themselves. There could be many reasons why she was lifting lighter. Maybe that's all she could do, maybe she's recovering from an injury, maybe she does like the way she's exercising. My trainer has proved to me that light weights at high reps can be just as exhausting as low reps at a high rate. It depends on how you do the exercise.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
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    At the YMCA, I pointed out to someone who was having her kid show her how to do all the weight machines, that it is free to get the YMCA staff to show you how to do all the weight machines, while they simultaneously set them up to remember your settings so you don't have to remember them next time you come in.

    She blew me off though. Not unexpected.

    As for this specific example, if someone did that to me, I would explain that I'm having problems right now with "prepatellar syndrome", where quad/ham imbalance causes your kneecap to dig in and grind when you do squats, and gives you knee pain. So I'm at a low weight because I can't do more without knee pain until I re-balance the muscle group strength. But I would not be mad at someone trying to help and offering advice.

    add: I'll second the observation on people-who-do-not-know-how-to-use-a-rowing-machine. Yikes!
  • mrbyte
    mrbyte Posts: 270 Member
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    If I'm doing something wrong and someone who knows their stuff corrected me I'd be fine with it. Gym etiquette is gone these days.

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