gluten free people. Please don't alienate your family.
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I don't believe in anyone being apologetic for their diet. It's their body and their right to choose how to nourish it. She shouldn't walk on egg shells because you don't like it. However, you shouldn't have to be on edge, either.
I do believe all relationships of any kind benefit at times from having boundaries. Set diet as an off-limits topic with her and stick to it. Redirect immediately if she attempts. You're allowed to do that and put that aside for the sake of your relationship. Avoid food-centric gatherings. Meet up for an activity, not a meal.
I've done this with my mom, who likes to talk about fad diets. I'm not interested in any temporary eating arrangement. "Weight watchers points." Bored. "Inject HTC this." NOPE. "Juicing that." Stop. She's backed off and she's not allowed to buy me food as gifts. "Treats" that I don't even like. No thanks.0 -
Thanks for the sympathizing. Yes, I'm annoyed but more concerned. However, I can't discuss any concerns with her. I'm just a certified personal trainer, studying to be a nurse. And she is a psychologist. What the heck do I know? So really, my only options are as one poster suggested: That is to politely ask her not to discuss food during my visits. And I will most likely eat elsewhere and sleep elsewhere. I'll just go visit, take her some almonds and go on my way....sad, for someone who used to like to be with my mom.0
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I talked to my Dr. before going "almost" gluten free. I promised not to read every label to look for minute amounts. Yes, I eat corn chowder and other things that have used flour for thickener, when I didn't make it. However, it does keep me from eating the obvious things like bread, pasta and most desserts. My granddaughter has an intolerance for gluten and that is where it started.
There have been a few benefits. One is that I have had almost no problem with allergies the last year as compared to other years. Not sure why that might be but I will take it....no inhalers or antihistamines this season. Also , my cholesterol went down probably because I am not eating some of the baked good that you put butter and other goodies on. I do buy the odd loaf of a gluten free bread but it lasts me quite a while. I find that I eat more healthy foods to take the place of the items that are missing. Btw, my Dr. is pleasantly surprised at how I have managed.
I have a friend, who when visiting can have all the regular cereal, bread etc at my house, but continually rags me about my diet. It is annoying to say the least since I don't inflict it on anyone else. He also makes me feel bad when we are visiting and he will make the comment that I won't eat something~~ I would sooner just say no thanks and pass on the item as it makes some people think they must offer an alternative.
Good luck with your mom. Hopefully she will get over this but she does seem to be carrying things too far.0 -
Thanks for the sympathizing. Yes, I'm annoyed but more concerned. However, I can't discuss any concerns with her. I'm just a certified personal trainer, studying to be a nurse. And she is a psychologist. What the heck do I know? So really, my only options are as one poster suggested: That is to politely ask her not to discuss food during my visits. And I will most likely eat elsewhere and sleep elsewhere. I'll just go visit, take her some almonds and go on my way....sad, for someone who used to like to be with my mom.
She will get over it once the novelty wears off. If you are a true celiac like me when you first go gf you come alive again cause your body feels a gazillion times better. I was exhausted prior to being diagnosed so it was very exciting to finally know what was keeping me so sick. I wanted to share with everyone and I did! I couldn't shut up about it. Eventually the novelty wore off and I got over it. Your mother will too.0 -
OMG with the gluten-free pet foods. That **** makes every vet I know, including myself, roll their eyes so hard.
In the entire world, only one SINGLE family line of Setters has demonstrated gluten sensitivity.
For everyone else, you're just paying too much for hippie dog food.0 -
This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.
I love how all the meats in the stores are labeled "Gluten free" as if bacon or chicken were harvested from wheat. It's just a dumb fad that will disappear eventually. "Look, gluten-free water. ZOMG!!"
I LOL'd so much at this comment. I also noticed "gluten free" on a Ham in the supermarket. It's was hilarious!!!0 -
This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.
I love how all the meats in the stores are labeled "Gluten free" as if bacon or chicken were harvested from wheat. It's just a dumb fad that will disappear eventually. "Look, gluten-free water. ZOMG!!"
My sister is celiac and VERY sensative to any cross contamination. By labeling meats, etc- it means that the meat hasn't come into contact with gluten in a processing plant, etc. It assures the consumer that there has been no possible cross contamination.
I'm also a very sensitive coeliac and often foods are packaged in the same factory as good that have gluten. For example ham. If the normal ham is cut on the same slicer as the breaded ham there is risk of contamination.
However I'm not like the OP mum - I have to eat gluten free but the kids have normal stuff. The only thing is I have a separate toaster and my own jars of spreads.
PS I still love the fact that going gluten free is suppose to be a guaranteed way of losing weight - been gluten free for 20 years and still managed to gain 100lbs.0 -
Let's see if I can explain this . Gluten allergy and wheat allergy not the same thing.
Gluten is used as a coagulant and sometimes a preservative. So indeed it is found in meats and mustards and spices. It can be used in the flavoring and smoking process of meats. Especially pork. People who have gluten sensitivity or celiac's (and I do have CD) are usually very sensitive to the effects of it. As in horrible stomach pains often leading to damage in the intestines.If someone had an allergy to strawberries and went into shock it wouldn't seem amusing that they avoided all strawberry products. Diet fads have made this an issue. So let's try this . If I as a person with Celiac's come in contact inadvertently with food that has gluten I know it with in ten minutes. Pain ripples through my stomach and I may have trouble passing that pain through for days. Depends on what it was.
So sorry OP you are a grown woman , your mom must have gone here because she hurt and I think for you to be so unsympathetic to something that must have caused her pain is selfish and childish. Perhaps you should explain to her that you haven't grown up and you would prefer to still be the sole focus of her life and she should post pictures of you on Fb rather than focusing on herself.0 -
This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.
I love how all the meats in the stores are labeled "Gluten free" as if bacon or chicken were harvested from wheat. It's just a dumb fad that will disappear eventually. "Look, gluten-free water. ZOMG!!"
My sister is celiac and VERY sensative to any cross contamination. By labeling meats, etc- it means that the meat hasn't come into contact with gluten in a processing plant, etc. It assures the consumer that there has been no possible cross contamination.
I'm also a very sensitive coeliac and often foods are packaged in the same factory as good that have gluten. For example ham. If the normal ham is cut on the same slicer as the breaded ham there is risk of contamination.
However I'm not like the OP mum - I have to eat gluten free but the kids have normal stuff. The only thing is I have a separate toaster and my own jars of spreads.
PS I still love the fact that going gluten free is suppose to be a guaranteed way of losing weight - been gluten free for 20 years and still managed to gain 100lbs.
Adding here to people who actual have an allergy to gluten.
I have coeliacs and get severely ill whenever I eat gluten. Still managed to prepare and eat food from the same kitchen my family did, still managed to eat out (albeit, carefully) and am still able to safely cook alongside my girlfriend now, who is not gluten-free.
It's not rocket-science. Just don't let the foods touch, and use separate kitchen utensils.
Nothing ticks me off more than gluten-free zealots who try to tell me how lucky I am I actually have an allergy to something so 'unhealthy' as gluten. Well, maybe people who pretend to have the allergy themself, yeah, that bothers me too.0 -
Nothing ticks me off more than gluten-free zealots who try to tell me how lucky I am I actually have an allergy to something so 'unhealthy' as gluten. Well, maybe people who pretend to have the allergy themself, yeah, that bothers me too.
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Not me I am so grateful for the "gluten zealots" and people pretending to have allergies to gluten because if it weren't for them I would have a much harder time finding foods and woudl never be able to eat out.0 -
Actually, if you'd read the OP's posts, she stated that her mother has never been diagnosed with Celiac's or a gluten intolerance. She just "believes" she has a problem. There's a big difference between someone who is genuinely sensitive or allergic and someone who is following a fad. I was tested for Celiac last year because of chronic digestive issues and, thankfully, I don't have it. I've also removed it from my diet for a span of several months and that didn't help, either. However, if I DID have a problem with wheat or gluten I'd be pretty irritated at people who told me I was "lucky" for having that problem or who decided it was a problem for them, too, because it's the latest fad.So sorry OP you are a grown woman , your mom must have gone here because she hurt and I think for you to be so unsympathetic to something that must have caused her pain is selfish and childish. Perhaps you should explain to her that you haven't grown up and you would prefer to still be the sole focus of her life and she should post pictures of you on Fb rather than focusing on herself.0 -
I don't get where people think that gluten free means "healthy". It's like the people who proudly proclaim they are vegetarian but subsist on high carb, low nutritional valued foods. Additionally, most people don't really need to cut gluten from their diets. There have been some studies that suggest that people who think they are gluten sensitive are really lectin sensitive but, honestly, only the very, very gluten sensitive need a "completely gluten-free" kitchen rather than just not ingesting gluten themselves.
This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.
ETA: I meant that last for people who don't actually have a gluten allergy or Celiac's and are just doing it because it's trendy. I know that for those who have a serious problem with wheat (and it's a growing population) that it's certainly not a fad and I'm glad that the food industry and restaurants are recognizing this.
the truth is strong with this one.0 -
um....gee...yeah, I want it to be all about me...not. I probably shouldn't respond to such a judgement about me, but it is obvious you didn't understand the point of my original post. My frustration with her posting her recipes on fb is not because she isn't focused on me. It's because she preaches to everyone how healthy gluten free is, but she posts sugar/fat filled recipes that are gluten free. Those things are clearly not healthy, but she really believes they are. Look, if my mom believes a gluten free diet makes her feel better, fine. I don't even mind her discussing it, OCCASIONALLY. What I have a problem with (and if you had really read my post, you would know this) is that she talks about it constantly, and when I visit she makes my entire family walk on eggshells because she is so afraid we might contaminate her gluten free home. She is even concerned about us using her bathroom with shampoo that is not gluten free. When we try to accomadate her needs, she insists that we don't do it right. I am also concerned about her beliefs that sugary gluten free foods are healthy. They are not.
So sorry OP you are a grown woman , your mom must have gone here because she hurt and I think for you to be so unsympathetic to something that must have caused her pain is selfish and childish. Perhaps you should explain to her that you haven't grown up and you would prefer to still be the sole focus of her life and she should post pictures of you on Fb rather than focusing on herself.0 -
I don't get where people think that gluten free means "healthy". It's like the people who proudly proclaim they are vegetarian but subsist on high carb, low nutritional valued foods. Additionally, most people don't really need to cut gluten from their diets. There have been some studies that suggest that people who think they are gluten sensitive are really lectin sensitive but, honestly, only the very, very gluten sensitive need a "completely gluten-free" kitchen rather than just not ingesting gluten themselves.
This gluten-free thing is just another fad like the low carb craze several years ago. It'll die it's own death soon enough.
ETA: I meant that last for people who don't actually have a gluten allergy or Celiac's and are just doing it because it's trendy. I know that for those who have a serious problem with wheat (and it's a growing population) that it's certainly not a fad and I'm glad that the food industry and restaurants are recognizing this.
:drinker:
I have a friend who actually has celiac's and he rarely talks about it. Probably because he doesn't want to constantly draw attention to himself for having a medical condition. Fakey-faker "wheat sensitive" people won't shut up about how bad gluten is.
I wonder how many people who are self-diagnosed "gluten intolerant" went gluten free and also lost weight because of the calorie deficit forced by being restrictive. Their digestive issues clear up and they say "wow, I really AM gluten intolerant!" but really, it was the weight loss, or taking in less fat, or getting more fiber from vegetables, or drinking more water (W/E a million other reasons) that fixed the digestive issue.0 -
And what I am saying is in some way your mom was having pain and she believes this was the cause.I get that she is early in the process so she is going to every meeting(slight AA reference here) and she seems like a zealot. But here are some tings I would share. If she has done the make up and soap and shampoo route she is still having stomach pains. Ask her . I would bank on it. Next there is nothing healthy or low cal about the gluten free sweets.To agree with the previous poster that will pack the pounds on. I think people who first start think OMg what will I do without my sweets. I went through a week of mourning that I won't be able to eat cake at my children's weddings.(the are both under 15) Not rational but again very similar to an alcoholic. I did the shampoo route etc which made very small difference in the pain. I don't have gluten in my house and am downright paranoid at restaurants. I am telling you this is all about the pain. She seems like she has slipped over to the dark side but she isreally self medicating. If you want to help HER then you might suggest that she go to the CD forums. They will catch her out of "certified gluten free" etc. Tell her that CD people here said that junk will pack it on and bring other problems. Suggest allergy testing. As she is already GF she may get a false neg on some of the other tests. (she may also have corn or dairy reactions). And I did read your post and I wouldn't have eaten the cornbread and chili either and yes I would be able to feel it and I don't care if it would alienate you or hurt your feelings. YOU have no idea how bad the pain can be.0
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My mom makes me absolutely crazy, to the point that I can't even visit her any more, or at least stay at her house when I visit. She talks about gluten free in EVERY conversation. And when I went there for my birthday, and brought a small cooler with snacks for my planned hike, she made me keep it in a room away from the kitchen, so any gluten would not contaminate her kitchen. There are people out there doing this who have alienated people in their lives. I tried fixing a gluten free meal for my mom. I fixed chili and cornbread made from oats and organic cornmeal. She took one nibble of the cornbread, and insisted that I must have used contaminated oats. She said she suddenly felt ill. Now, she doesn't have a wheat allergy, no celiac disease, but she was suddenly ill. I totally think that is pscyhosomatic, at least in her case.
The ironic thing is she is constantly posting photos and recipes on facebook with gluten free pie, gluten free cake, gluten free cookies, and last time I visited her with my sons, she met us at the door holding gluten free s'amores she had made in her microwave. I politely declined. If she wants to be so healthy, why isn't she concerned about all the fat and sugar in those things? She says she uses organic sugar, so it's o.k...............sigh
So share your enthusiasm from time to time, but please don't make your family and friends want to stay away from you, and if you must go gluten free, why not just cut back and the grains and sugar, and eat real food, instead of all the expensive gluten free sugary foods?
Interesting post.
I think I agree with some of your points and disagree with others.
Everyone in your life will do things from time to time that really irritate you, it's YOUR choice not to look beyond those things and to alienate them.
That being said there is an issue at present with the Gluten Free craze and it's exactly as you have put. People instead of choosing to cut back on grains and other food containing Gluten and then eat other healthy food, choose to opt for the gimmicky Gluten Free replacement food.
The problem with this is that the substitute flours they use to make these products are not by law required to be fortified with the vitamins, as whole grain products are and as such there's a possibility that some people going gluten free will become vitamin deficient.
The quick solve to this is instead of eating the gluten free replacement products - eat vegetables, meat, nut's etc.....
The same goes for the lack of probiotics fibre there is in the gluten free substitute products. Again you can get this from a multitude of other sources and most are better than from whole grains.
I think the problem with this craze at the moment is there seems to be very little middle ground. You either have the hard core element preaching the dangers of gluten, or on the reverse the hard core element preaching the dangers of going gluten free.
When the reality is probably less gluten in the diet may benefit a lot of people - not all and for those who can eat gluten without any issue, they have no need to reduce it (if that's what they wish).
Anyway, maybe the best forward is to help educate your mom about the poor choice eating the gluten free substitute foods are and help her find other and better alternatives.
Good luck.0 -
If I was you I'd be more worried about your own attitude to fat and sugar rather than her Gluten obsession.My mom makes me absolutely crazy, to the point that I can't even visit her any more, or at least stay at her house when I visit. She talks about gluten free in EVERY conversation. And when I went there for my birthday, and brought a small cooler with snacks for my planned hike, she made me keep it in a room away from the kitchen, so any gluten would not contaminate her kitchen. There are people out there doing this who have alienated people in their lives. I tried fixing a gluten free meal for my mom. I fixed chili and cornbread made from oats and organic cornmeal. She took one nibble of the cornbread, and insisted that I must have used contaminated oats. She said she suddenly felt ill. Now, she doesn't have a wheat allergy, no celiac disease, but she was suddenly ill. I totally think that is pscyhosomatic, at least in her case.
The ironic thing is she is constantly posting photos and recipes on facebook with gluten free pie, gluten free cake, gluten free cookies, and last time I visited her with my sons, she met us at the door holding gluten free s'amores she had made in her microwave. I politely declined. If she wants to be so healthy, why isn't she concerned about all the fat and sugar in those things? She says she uses organic sugar, so it's o.k...............sigh
So share your enthusiasm from time to time, but please don't make your family and friends want to stay away from you, and if you must go gluten free, why not just cut back and the grains and sugar, and eat real food, instead of all the expensive gluten free sugary foods?0 -
Thanks for the sympathizing. Yes, I'm annoyed but more concerned. However, I can't discuss any concerns with her. I'm just a certified personal trainer, studying to be a nurse. And she is a psychologist. What the heck do I know? So really, my only options are as one poster suggested: That is to politely ask her not to discuss food during my visits. And I will most likely eat elsewhere and sleep elsewhere. I'll just go visit, take her some almonds and go on my way....sad, for someone who used to like to be with my mom.
I understand how irksome this is for you, but just let her be. You already have a draft of a plan here.0 -
My mom has been doing this for over a year. But yes, I have a plan. It saddens me, but I have a plan. My reason for this post wasn't so much to ask for advice, but to maybe awaken those who may be doing this to their families. I understand that it's easy to share our enthusiasm over something that we feel works for us, but that enthusiasm can be taken to an extreme and can seem downright annoying and silly to others. This isn't just for gluten free, but for anything we get excited about. We need to use restraint, so we don't make people around us a bit crazy.Thanks for the sympathizing. Yes, I'm annoyed but more concerned. However, I can't discuss any concerns with her. I'm just a certified personal trainer, studying to be a nurse. And she is a psychologist. What the heck do I know? So really, my only options are as one poster suggested: That is to politely ask her not to discuss food during my visits. And I will most likely eat elsewhere and sleep elsewhere. I'll just go visit, take her some almonds and go on my way....sad, for someone who used to like to be with my mom.
I understand how irksome this is for you, but just let her be. You already have a draft of a plan here.
However, I do appreciate the positive suggestions on this thread, especially the one about asking that we don't discuss food.0 -
what attitude? I eat desserts occasionally. My concern is that my mom truly believes that just because something is gluten free, it is healthy, even if it is loaded with sugar and fat. There are several health care professionals who have spoken about how concerned they are about this trend too. They see their patients getting all excited about going gluten free and then not cutting back on empty calories, simply because gluten free is on the package. Do they need to fix their attitude? I think it is a legitimate concern.
If I was you I'd be more worried about your own attitude to fat and sugar rather than her Gluten obsession.My mom makes me absolutely crazy, to the point that I can't even visit her any more, or at least stay at her house when I visit. She talks about gluten free in EVERY conversation. And when I went there for my birthday, and brought a small cooler with snacks for my planned hike, she made me keep it in a room away from the kitchen, so any gluten would not contaminate her kitchen. There are people out there doing this who have alienated people in their lives. I tried fixing a gluten free meal for my mom. I fixed chili and cornbread made from oats and organic cornmeal. She took one nibble of the cornbread, and insisted that I must have used contaminated oats. She said she suddenly felt ill. Now, she doesn't have a wheat allergy, no celiac disease, but she was suddenly ill. I totally think that is pscyhosomatic, at least in her case.
The ironic thing is she is constantly posting photos and recipes on facebook with gluten free pie, gluten free cake, gluten free cookies, and last time I visited her with my sons, she met us at the door holding gluten free s'amores she had made in her microwave. I politely declined. If she wants to be so healthy, why isn't she concerned about all the fat and sugar in those things? She says she uses organic sugar, so it's o.k...............sigh
So share your enthusiasm from time to time, but please don't make your family and friends want to stay away from you, and if you must go gluten free, why not just cut back and the grains and sugar, and eat real food, instead of all the expensive gluten free sugary foods?0
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