Just a vent...

That was beyond rude. Your "friend" should not have done that to you!
Keep up your hard work and don't let her discouarge you!

Your friend is just smelling herself right now. When the honeymoon period is over and she has to continue to lose that weight & maintain it the old fashion way she won't be gloating then. I can tell just by what she is saying that she hasn't prepared herself.

I think that was rude of a friend to do that! Just remember though, people that have had that surgery can gain it all back just like anyone else!!!

That is to harsh to be considered "friendly". I, being in the snarky mood that I am, would comment on her facebook status, "I still weigh less than you."

Of course, that would be considered rude too...but that's the kind of mood I'm in :laugh:

That is awful!

You are doign thing teh right way and teh healthy way. Keep up what you are doing and be proud of yourself for not having to compair yourself with others to validate your accomplishments. 20 pounds in 4 months is awesome...and likly to stay gone.

I find this very rude too. I have a friend, whose mother had gastric bypass surgery. I'm not sure what she looked like before but she's morbidly obese now, so clearly it didn't work. And she has the nerve to make jokes about how her son is overweight, and he's not nearly the size of her. She's never been a good mother, but that's another story. But when she says things like that, I could kick her!

It's normal for somebody to feel empowered and excited to see the pounds start melting off - particularly after such an invasive procedure. It may even be natural for her to want to brag to you or anybody else about her results. But comparing her journey to yours (when both the method used and your goals are clearly SO different) is completely unfair - and to do so in a public forum without your permission is unacceptable.

You are already a healthy weight - she is probably insecure about that and maybe even jealous that you did it on your own - the hard way, as she says. She took "the easy way out" by her own admission and obviously doesn't feel great about it or she wouldn't be defending it so vigorously.

If I were you I probably wouldn't be able to resist a jab at her along the lines of "Um, I'm glad you've come so far on your journey, but it's not really fair to compare us. I started out much closer to my goal weight, so of course I've lost fewer pounds overall. " I might just leave a comment on her facebook post along those lines.

I would just reply on her facebook that "if I had 200 pounds to lose I would also be losing a dramatic amount of wieght quickly as well but alas I do not have at least 50 pounds to lose to qualify for the easy way out, and if I could have it now how great I'd be at my goal weight within the month".

I personally think it is great no matter how a person chooses to lose wieght as long as it is a healthy way, and I find it insulting that she calls it an easy way I know alot of people don't consider it an easy way, but it is something they HAD to do.

I have loose skin but I will do everything in my ability to tighten up my stomache before I even consider taking the "easy" way of having a tummy tuck. The surgery, the pain,the cost, the possibilities of complications, yep easy.

Go ahead and vent - you have a right to!

Some people are "Energy Givers" - they are supportive and bring light and happiness into your life. Other people are "Energy Suckers" - you feel tired and worn out after being with them. If this "friend" is more of an Energy Sucker (sounds like it) - then maybe you need a little distance from her.

Congrats on your 20 lbs!!

please please read The End of Overeating by Kessler, he was surgeon general a few years ago, in it he dissects the causes of overeating and the american food industry, we are being drugged by food here and this addiction is terribly hard to control, you cannot just say no to food and never eat again, what other addictive substance does one 'have' to use every day?

the situation with overeating is that it is in the brain, the neural highways of salt, sugar and fat have been carved wide and deep in us,

and the only real way to normal eating requires work, sure miss stomach staple thinks she is fine, but unless she is seriously confronting the basic food addiction she will not change her brain chemistry,

this site provides us with a way to examine and account for the foods we eat, proteins, fiber, fat etc.

each day of recording, learning to plan our meals, to cook differently, to share with each other, to reach out and to be supported is golden,

I am also 'losing the hard way', holidays come and I am learning how to deal with them, I am choosing different vegetables, I am tweeking my menus, my grocery shopping trips are different, I look at a bag of cheetos very much differently, I have noticed I do not have to go out to eat every time I go the mall, I try to avoid the kitchen for the present, it was my favorite room of the house,

I do not know if my cravings will ever ease, but it is easier now after 6 months to say no to myself,

dry your tears, you are doing the hard and necessary work of brain retraining, do not lose hope, yours is the work she will have to do eventually whether she knows it or not, surgery does not work long term without 'doing it the hard way'

think of all the $$$ you have saved not having surgery and give yourself a kiss for working so hard