Have completely lost my motivation....

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Replies

  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
    OP, I've posted this before in various forms, but I think it bears repeating. It's gonna be long.

    I was a fatass at 230 lbs on a five-seven frame. Finally got the idea that this was bad for me and embarked on an 18-month program of weight loss and fitness, finally landing on my goal weight on the last week of November 2013.

    Felt damned good at a company retirement party two weeks later - eating good hors d'ouvers, people complementing me on getting fit. Well, it did until I fainted.

    Came to, went to the ER as a precaution, and they found a 16cc myxoma hiding inside my left atrium. Literally two weeks after hitting my weight loss and fitness goal I had open-heart surgery. I went from walking eight miles at a go to being more exhausted shuffling up and down a fifty-foot hallway. New restrictions were no lifting anything over ten pounds for three months at a minimum, cardio as I could, and nothing that involved twisting, reaching, or needed both hands overhead at once.

    Got good news from my cardiologist a week after I was released. Tumor was benign, and my restrictions were just as listed - I escaped with no pacemaker, no physical therapy needed, no dietary restrictions, and no medications.

    Thirty days after discharge saw the surgeon, who cleared me for cardio but left the other restrictions in place. I took this as a challenge and pushed myself HARD to do as much cardio work as I could stand, celebrating when I could break three miles an hour for a half our again.

    Seven weeks post-discharge I went back to work.

    Ninety-eight days after discharge I got the clearance from my cardiologist to resume weight lifting with the provision I take it VERY slow and protect my still-healing sternum.

    It's seven months post-discharge today. My weight has gone up ten pounds total, mostly muscle mass as I shattered all my pre-op lifting records a month ago. I'm back to running, turning faster miles than I have in my life.


    the tl;dr: You can hit potentially major problems along the way to better health. Never EVER give up because of them.
  • StrongHealthyPowerful
    StrongHealthyPowerful Posts: 98 Member
    Like you, I also compared myself to my significant other while at the gym. I tend to be a bit competitive, and if we were working out together and he was going way faster/farther/harder than I was, I just gave up if I couldn’t keep up. I found that we just can’t work out together. We still go to the gym together quite often, but do completely different workouts. Men and women are built differently, and if you’re beating yourself up for not being able to do exactly what he can do, you’re just sabotaging yourself. You are strong in your own way, and getting stronger in your own way. Just because his progress looks different from yours doesn’t mean that your progress isn’t great.
  • getdancing2013
    getdancing2013 Posts: 72 Member
    OP, I've posted this before in various forms, but I think it bears repeating. It's gonna be long.

    I was a fatass at 230 lbs on a five-seven frame. Finally got the idea that this was bad for me and embarked on an 18-month program of weight loss and fitness, finally landing on my goal weight on the last week of November 2013.

    Felt damned good at a company retirement party two weeks later - eating good hors d'ouvers, people complementing me on getting fit. Well, it did until I fainted.

    Came to, went to the ER as a precaution, and they found a 16cc myxoma hiding inside my left atrium. Literally two weeks after hitting my weight loss and fitness goal I had open-heart surgery. I went from walking eight miles at a go to being more exhausted shuffling up and down a fifty-foot hallway. New restrictions were no lifting anything over ten pounds for three months at a minimum, cardio as I could, and nothing that involved twisting, reaching, or needed both hands overhead at once.

    Got good news from my cardiologist a week after I was released. Tumor was benign, and my restrictions were just as listed - I escaped with no pacemaker, no physical therapy needed, no dietary restrictions, and no medications.

    Thirty days after discharge saw the surgeon, who cleared me for cardio but left the other restrictions in place. I took this as a challenge and pushed myself HARD to do as much cardio work as I could stand, celebrating when I could break three miles an hour for a half our again.

    Seven weeks post-discharge I went back to work.

    Ninety-eight days after discharge I got the clearance from my cardiologist to resume weight lifting with the provision I take it VERY slow and protect my still-healing sternum.

    It's seven months post-discharge today. My weight has gone up ten pounds total, mostly muscle mass as I shattered all my pre-op lifting records a month ago. I'm back to running, turning faster miles than I have in my life.


    the tl;dr: You can hit potentially major problems along the way to better health. Never EVER give up because of them.

    What an incredible story!! Thank you for sharing that. My health actually began this craziness, and for a while I just blamed my health and circumstances instead of just finding alternative ways to handle the stress or to physically move. And I did give up...for the longest time. But I decided to get in shape, and I should remember folks like you (and myself to an extent) that have gone through tougher battles. I just need to remember that motivation when I feel down. But it's like my brain shuts that "reasonable" part of my brain down or something...
  • getdancing2013
    getdancing2013 Posts: 72 Member
    Thank you for your post. While I was looking for motivational quotes, I found this and it has really helped me. "Being overweight is a challenge. Losing weight is a challenge. Maintaining your weight is a challenge. Pick your challenge."

    I have to talk myself into exercising every day. I finally wrote a note to myself about how much better I feel after a workout and that I have never regretted working out, only regretted not working out. I read that letter often.

    I also have a-hole for a father-in-law. After 20 years, I no longer speak to him on the the phone and I don't discuss his actions with my husband. I do not visit with him when he is in town. Whatever kind of relationship my husband wants to have with him is fine, but I am out. The world has not stopped turning as far as I can tell. It is very difficult but so what? I am happier and he is still an a-hole.

    I like the writing notes part. I'm thinking instead of using the gym's sheet of bringing a notebook where I can put quotes, stats, etc that I can look at when I get discouraged. I think having it "in your face" will help.
  • malasmom
    malasmom Posts: 1
    We all cheat or go off our diet from time to time. That's just human nature. The best thing you can do is start fresh tommorrow. Tomorrow picture yourself in a skinny outfit & remind yourself that you would rather wear trim fitting clothes than eat too much and wear fat clothes. Order a big salad next time with chicken on it & that will help. A good book you may want to read for motivation is The ultimate weight solution by Dr. Phil. I keep mine at my bedside & that gives me encouragement. You can probably pick it up for under $7.00 shipped on ebay, if you don't have it. Just get back on that routine & don't dwell on one mistake. You can do it!
  • BlondeButtercup127
    BlondeButtercup127 Posts: 750 Member
    motivation is only good for so long. it might get you out the door and exercising every so often, but dedication is what will keep you going through the hard and tough days.

    i recommend signing up for a race. a challenge that is just outside of your reach, a goal that you can accomplish, is a great way to maintain focus during the tough days.

    I couldn't have said it any better.
    :flowerforyou:
  • GabrielleLovely
    GabrielleLovely Posts: 3
    Girl I've been there. like, yesterday. It broke my heart reading your post. But from what I can tell you've still got some fight in you. Why? Because you reached out when you felt hopeless. Depression is something I've dealt with my whole life and I feel familiar with the beast at this point. You writing this should tell you there is hope and YOU KNOW IT. This feeling will pass. "When you're going through hell, keep on going". If you felt that way during a workout imagine how much worse you would feel if you completely gave up? This feeling will pass, just keep doing what you gotta do bc the anger will be with you no matter what for now, But not forever. It will be replaced with an amazing sense of accomplishment if you just. keep. going.
    You'll get there, I promise.
  • getdancing2013
    getdancing2013 Posts: 72 Member
    Okay so update...after listening to everyone here and taking a super deep breath, I did something I haven't done in public in about 13 years.





    I put on a bathing suit and swam at the Y.



    Now I didn't swim as much as I'd like because the bathing suit I had bought (but never used - still had tags and I'd chickened out) a couple of years ago for a vacation was actually too BIG, especially up top.

    I was a bit upset by how little I could swim considering I was a very good swimmer/snorkeler in my past, and I almost (almost) got out of the water and left.....but THIS time I remembered all the little voices and all your kind words, did some thinking, and just took little breaks between the laps...or I'd switch up a back stroke or just kicking while on my back or hanging on to the wall, then go back and do another lap. But this time I made it close to an hour in the water, and this was after I'd done my arm weights and some elliptical.
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    thanks everyone :smile:
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    I often wonder what happens to the people, who ask for advice, when they never come back, but this put a huge smile on my face! I'm so pleased on your behalf, well done!

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