I don't make friends easily...

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Replies

  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    I am just picturing the whole lot of us sitting in a room together, staring at our toes!

    Standing because no-one would be willing to be the first one to sit down... :)
    things might get a little more lively if we run out of wall space and have to fight for it rather than hang out in the center of the room :laugh:

    :laugh: Having flashbacks to middle school dances now! This is hilarious :laugh:
  • becjerami
    becjerami Posts: 80


    i think my problem is that i'm not that girly. i don't like talking on the phone for hours, i don't even have a cell phone to text on. i don't like shopping, i hate shoes. the wives of my husbands friends all like to shop and gossip, and that's just not for me.




    Are you an Aquarian???

    Lol, geez is that relevant? I'm an Aquarian...
  • Brandie1029
    Brandie1029 Posts: 183 Member
    Whatcha like? I'm huge into PARANORMAL ROMANCE. My favorite authors are J.R Ward (The Blackdagger Brotherhood) and Kresley Cole (The Immortals after dark). Each time I have reccommended these to patrons they have come back begging me to find them more books. LOL Some other good series are: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series by Steig Larsson , The Hunger Games By Suzzanne Collins, The Janet Evanovich Books, Gah.....there are soooo many.

    I love paranormal romance. I will have to look up some of those titles.

    Prepare to become addicted! :laugh:
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
    You will find lots of friends here! Good luck.
  • Balanced_Life
    Balanced_Life Posts: 229 Member
    I learned a while back that you get what you give. I am not a girly girl, in fact my boyfriend teases that I have too much testosterone since I am happier fishing, tiling and doing typical guy things. I have also had careers that are male oriented ( Navy, Police Officer, Engineer) I'm not a huge shopper, usually because I don’t like to see my money fly out of my wallet! .. and when I'm heavy I hate everything I put on! (that is another topic ;-)
    Anyway I do have many friends however most have been accumulated since I grew comfortable with me and have taken responsibility for me and my choices. I realized that if everyone is pissing me off, it is not them, it is ME! I ask for constructive criticism when I am afraid that I may have come off wrong or be out of line and I use that to grow as a better person. But mainly I have started putting myself out there and I work really hard to be positive and not negative. This was not easy because I come from a back ground of complainers. So look at who you most admire and work to be like that person and list those qualities, after all if you look up to this person or these traits then you will feel better about yourself when taking on those attributes. Make small steps on being that quality person in all aspects of your life and love yourself for all your hard work.
    @ jbescherer - good advice! Thanks for a thoughtful post. It sounds like we're similar in a lot of ways (I'm also an engineer!), but I'm working on making more friends and will try to follow your advice. :smile:
  • Balanced_Life
    Balanced_Life Posts: 229 Member
    I have never made friends easily. since i was a child i have been a loner. I've had friends in my life, but it was fleeting and for the most part they were not nice people. I don't currently have any real life friends. my husband has friends in our neighborhood, and their wives are very nice people that i get along with, but we're not what i would call friends.

    i think my problem is that i'm not that girly. i don't like talking on the phone for hours, i don't even have a cell phone to text on. i don't like shopping, i hate shoes. the wives of my husbands friends all like to shop and gossip, and that's just not for me.

    i tend to be sarcastic. i don't share my feelings easily.

    i do listen well. i have great advice if needed, or i just have an ear if someone needs to talk. i do my best to be a good friend when i have the opportunity..

    i want to have friends. i want to be useful in the world.. i don't mean to scare people off, i just want to be honest.

    if i haven't scared you off, please feel free to add me, i'll do my best to be helpful.

    thank yo u
    et
    @ clydethecat - it not easy for me to make new friends either. Feel free to add me!
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,179 Member
    Your description sounds a LOT like me. I'm amused and adding you. :P
  • Lindy901
    Lindy901 Posts: 71 Member
    I'll add you too. I hate to say it since I, like you, am not that outgoing either we probably won't converse much. How friendly is that? :huh:

    I hope my post comes off as funny which is how I intended.
  • mskari77
    mskari77 Posts: 142
    I spose thats why i am a guys girl..always fit in better with the dudes..

    Same here. I have always gotten along better with guys. So much so, my husband's best friend calls me "bro". LOL


    Haha thats awsome! my bf's coworkers all call me dude.or bro-chacho!

    Yep, the hubs calls me dude all the time. :)
  • katiebythebay
    katiebythebay Posts: 611 Member
    I'm actually the same way, just in person. People think I'm an odd duck for many reasons...

    I'd be glad to befriend and support you here.




    ~katie
  • AnCus
    AnCus Posts: 13
    What a great support group! ;-). Here I was thing I was the only one! However I do love shopping and shoes and I am girls, but the rest totally applies to me.

    Add me if you would like too.
  • michelle850
    michelle850 Posts: 65 Member
    Great post. It's always nice to know I'm not the only loner out there! I too hate the phone and shopping. Not many people understand my need for alone time, it seems to mystify if not offend most people. Beyond my husband and two kids, I don't have that many friends. I get along with and like most people, but it's hard to find the ones that I really "click" with.

    I'd be happy to add you!
  • Katie0174
    Katie0174 Posts: 33 Member
    Hmmm a lot of these posts sound like I could have written them. I have a boyfriend [he has to be my friend] and a best friend [although I think she's got better friends than I am lol]. EVERYONE thinks I'm stuck up but really I'm the opposite, I'm just too quiet to set them straight ;). It doesn't bother me all the time, I get overwhelmed being around a lot of people or even just a few, so I prefer to be at home or alone anyway.

    I'm glad there are a few more people like myself out there haha :)

    ...I like shopping though!
  • Livinlavidalulu
    Livinlavidalulu Posts: 45
    I read your post and I can totally relate to you. I'm the same way. I work in a field of all men, monitor several computer screens, and i make constant phone calls throughout my day (dont get so much face to face time at my job) and I sometimes feel isolated! I'm sure we'd get along great :) Friend request sent.
  • BlackmetalCoffee79
    BlackmetalCoffee79 Posts: 108 Member
    You're not alone. I've always been this way. My main issue growing up was always absolutely HATING being told by others that i was shy or quiet. It always made me feel like i had some type of disease or something, lol. I tend to be mysterious and artsy, as opposed to the outgoing, bubbly type....Although i do consider myself to have a good sense of humor and polite to people that treat me nicely. I just always suffered from a poor self-esteem which never helped either. Most of what friends i had either got married or left the state for better-paying jobs and i have little energy to try and "make" new friends if that makes any sense.
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    I used to make friends really easily, I had alot of friends but when I got with my ex boyfriend I lost them. He was quite controlling and insisted I spent my weekends with him, I was at college during the week and I was exhausted at the end of the day so just came home and went to bed on the weekdays. The weekends were my only free time for friends but if I said to mark I was spending it with my friends he would do everything he could to make me feel guilty, and what do you know the next thing I knew I was on train on my way to his hm:/
    Now I have no friends. I'm not girlie and I hate shopping and social situations are very awkward for me because I never know what to say. I'm easily embarrassed, even when I'm with my work collegues I feel stupid for talking about anything because it seems dumb to me lol. So yep can't make friendS YAY lol!

    Tasha
    xxx
  • operavagabond
    operavagabond Posts: 84 Member
    Your honesty and bluntness is like a burst of fresh air! :) friend request sent!
  • Shawnjay75
    Shawnjay75 Posts: 81 Member
    Wow! This sounds like me also...However I do like girly stuff. I had no problems in this area before having my son who's now 15 yrs old. I think the change came while with his dad. I started to not trust many people and became very selective with the people I had around me. He made statements all the time about people not really liking me. Well, I broke up with him years ago but those selective ways stuck.

    I talk about wanting to make friends often with my fiance and he strongly encourages me to do so, but I don't follow up. He even tries to make conections for me. I have lots of female cousins around my age and was spending lots of time with them but I still feel I need my own friends.

    I was really cool with this one girl, but I felt like she thought we were in compatition with each other. Also, she'd stand me up all the time... My fiance felt like I was always making myself available for her but she wasn't doing the same. She also would mainly call me when she wanted to party but never for day-to-day type stuff. We're still cool, we just talk via text or FB now.

    All I need are two "real" friends and I'm good...lol
  • jaiedyie
    jaiedyie Posts: 1
    I also have all of these social issues! Although I don't count hating to go shopping as an issue. You know it's the ones who like it that have a problem lol. In fact my husband gets me thouroughly drunk before company dinners just so I'll eat and talk to people. Wierd huh!

    Shopping is like eating... bad therapy!! :D
  • Mamacitanaz1
    Mamacitanaz1 Posts: 3 Member
    I know this post is a couple if years old but does anyone have room for one more?

    I too dont make friends so easily. I too am always accused of being moody, stuck up and surly, when in reality, I tend to be a bit shy and nervous around people, especially when I dont know them too well. Definitely a self confidence thing I think. X
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