It really bothers me...
Missboss888
Posts: 41 Member
When someone says they're sooo fat. And I weigh more than them. >:(
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Replies
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Are we supposed to list what bothers us, or discuss how this bothers you?0
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I feel you. I went thru life with a thin sister who constantly said she was so fat...waiting for a compliment. I always wanted to say yes you are fat but I was too nice to say it.0
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welcome to the wonderful world of distorted body vision of body image caused by media. I'm so sorry
Keep your chin up, you are beautiful in any size 0 -
Yeah. That's one of those things that I know shouldn't bother me. It totally does though. Not necessarily if they're smaller than me. It bothers me when someone is obviously not fat, but insists they are.0
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that drives me crazy even skinny people say the are fat! errrrrr:explode:0
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I have a few people on my feed who say it daily. I guess there's no way to convince them otherwise. Or do I tell them they look good?0
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Don't tell them anything. Just ignore it0
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Or better, when something is at your goal weight and refer to themselves as fat, huge, obese, etc. :noway: It doesn't "bother" me really, it just makes me go hmmmmmmmmm.0
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My husband and I were at our first 5K race. There was this old guy, really skinny, he had a sand bag (or something like that) on his shoulders. There was a piece of paper on it saying "50 lbs"). So I told hubby "The guy must be tired to answering questions about the bag". My dear hubby, in all his glory, said "I walk aroung with an extra 70 lbs. You don't see me bugging anyone about it." :laugh: A few people around us couldn't refrain from laughing!0
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I have a few people on my feed who say it daily. I guess there's no way to convince them otherwise. Or do I tell them they look good?
Why would you keep them on your friends feed then? You can unfriend them or you can hide their comments.
Your friends feed is there to help you towards your goals. Tailor it so it helps rather than upsets you.0 -
It's all a matter of perspective. If they really feel like they are fat, and they are not, that is sad. But if they are just saying it to get a flattering comeback, like "you look great!" then that is lame. I'm a bit overweight and call myself fat sometimes, but deep in my heart I don't really feel like I am all that heavy. I have a mental image of myself as a thin person. Today women don't have a very healthy view of what is a normal weight.0
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They aren't and shouldn't be expected to think about you when they are talking about themselves. You worry about you and let them worry about them. Try not to let innocuous comments that aren't directed at you have an impact on your emotions.0
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It goes two ways for me. If someone is honestly unhappy with their body, even if they are smaller than me, it doesn't bother me because I know everyone has their own struggles. My best friend has always been super skinny, but since having her two babies, some of the weight has stuck around her thighs/hips and tummy. I still think she look amazing and I would kill for her figure, but I know she isn't happy and would like to trim down a little. So when she complains about her extra baggage it doesn't bother me.
However, if someone is rail skinny and just whines about their appearance just to fish for compliments, that bugs me. One day this super skinny girl at work was saying how she weighed in that morning and the scale asked her why there were two people on the scale. Oh haha, you think you're fat and you probably weigh 110 soaking wet. And the two people she was telling this to are at least 300-350 pounds. I doubt they appreciated that very much.0 -
When someone says they're sooo fat. And I weigh more than them. >:(
these are people who are A) digging for a compliment
low self esteem/body image or C) both. And unfortunately, these people are here to stay so it is best to grow a thick skin. I have yet found away thats best to solve the problem. Sometimes I end up telling them to stfu and it ruins friendships 
so I myself need to get a bit thicker skin. But rather than let it get to you, use it as motivation then you get thinner then them and when they say it again you can finally say "Yes. Yes you are! whachya gonna do about it?" 0 -
Or better, when something is at your goal weight and refer to themselves as fat, huge, obese, etc. :noway: It doesn't "bother" me really, it just makes me go hmmmmmmmmm.
I agree.
I have come to understand though that there's usually more to it. They are often much shorter than I am (like 5'2" rather than my 5'8"), or they are used to being a lot smaller and have only recently gained a lot of weight. Also, I know that I chose a pretty high goal weight. But yeah it is still obnoxious to me when someone says they're at 157 lb and wanting to die because they're so fat. Yes I know I should worry more about my own progress and/or that person's mental wellbeing but it's just kinda rough...0 -
I tend to feel more happy when the scale is working with me trending downwards and less happy when it is creeping up....and the actual number matters a lot less than the way that it is heading. I feel happier now losing 2 pounds than gaining 2 lb or holding steady 5 years ago at 10-15lbs lighter! And I feel crummier gaining a few pounds now than earlier in the year when i was 15lbs heavier and finally starting to lose.
When people see it going it up/plateau it can make them feel that they are not in control of their bodies. So the complaining you see with other people lighter than you is probably more of a reflection of how they are upset with how their number is trending rather than the number itself. When you think of this side of it, it might make you feel less unhappy about them complaining about their weight and it can help to know that many people lighter or heavier struggle to keep healthy and keep their body in good balance.0 -
When someone says they're sooo fat. And I weigh more than them. >:(
How do you feel when someone brags about their weight loss in front of you, and they weigh less than you?0 -
It goes two ways for me. If someone is honestly unhappy with their body, even if they are smaller than me, it doesn't bother me because I know everyone has their own struggles. My best friend has always been super skinny, but since having her two babies, some of the weight has stuck around her thighs/hips and tummy. I still think she look amazing and I would kill for her figure, but I know she isn't happy and would like to trim down a little. So when she complains about her extra baggage it doesn't bother me.
However, if someone is rail skinny and just whines about their appearance just to fish for compliments, that bugs me. One day this super skinny girl at work was saying how she weighed in that morning and the scale asked her why there were two people on the scale. Oh haha, you think you're fat and you probably weigh 110 soaking wet. And the two people she was telling this to are at least 300-350 pounds. I doubt they appreciated that very much.
^^^^ THIS.0 -
When someone says they're sooo fat. And I weigh more than them. >:(
:laugh: the mad face cracks me up0 -
My mom says she's fat daily...and weighs around 120 lbs. Today she asked me what I weigh. My reply was "Well, considering you're shorter than me and my stomach isn't as small as yours, you can only guess I'm more than 120". After that, she pressed, so I gave her the number. She got a disgusted look on her face and gave me the whole "You're big-boned" speech, which is clearly not true since I used to be smaller and know better...then continued to call herself fat :grumble:
I just shut my mouth and sat there quietly for the rest of that car ride...0 -
It's all relative. There are people who say they're fat and only weigh 120 pounds, others "fat" number might be 150, and some of us began this journey in excess of 300 pounds. Sometimes I laugh when people say they have SO much weight to lose, and. Their goal is like 20 pounds away. I'm about 145 pounds away from my goal, and I think that's a lot to lose - but someone who wants to lose 250 or more pounds might think that my goal is laughable. It's all relative.0
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But yeah it is still obnoxious to me when someone says they're at 157 lb and wanting to die because they're so fat.
I am 5'2" and 157 lb. I'm at the top end of "overweight" by the Body Mass Index scale. I started here at 165 lb, which is BMI 30 for someone my height and termed "obese" by BMI scale. Someone who is 157 lbs may have a legitimate reason to feel bad about their weight.0 -
I would ignore them or say Stop Fishing for compliments!I have a few people on my feed who say it daily. I guess there's no way to convince them otherwise. Or do I tell them they look good?0 -
My standard response is to agree with them. "I know, right? I was going to invite you to the beach but I was afraid you'd be harpooned" is a good one.0
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See, stuff like this used to annoy me.
Then I realised it was kinda ****ish on my part.
Sure, they may not be as fat as me, but I'm kinda invalidating and ****ting on their feelings by suggesting they can't feel fat without weighing 300+lb.0 -
In real life I've learned just to roll my eyes and say nothing to the compliment fishers, to just ignore them. In my younger days it used to bother me because I'm tall and my "ideal" weight range is still higher than a shorter person's so I used to feel like a heiffer, but I recognise that 7lb might be a big deal for a shorter person whereas on me it's not even noticable to anyone else.
On MFP though, I've started to worry about the people who seem clearly to already be slim/skinny and are desperate to lose more weight and post threads about it.0 -
Thank you! :flowerforyou: :smooched: Very well said.See, stuff like this used to annoy me.
Then I realised it was kinda ****ish on my part.
Sure, they may not be as fat as me, but I'm kinda invalidating and ****ting on their feelings by suggesting they can't feel fat without weighing 300+lb.
Part of it is the disappointment of reality vs. imagination. When I was fat (203lbs) I imagined slimmer people didn't have 'fat days'. Heh. Wrong. 130lbs, and I feel like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters today.
If you really feel they're fishing for compliments instead of expressing genuine feelings, try this:
Them- "Oh wow, I weighed 122lbs today, I feel like a blubber-monster."
You- "Really? Hey, that's 72lbs lighter than me. I guess I must be the creature that ate the blubber-monster?"
Them- "...never mind. Uh... you look great. Shutting up now."
*edited for one typo. Because I must.0 -
But yeah it is still obnoxious to me when someone says they're at 157 lb and wanting to die because they're so fat.
I am 5'2" and 157 lb. I'm at the top end of "overweight" by the Body Mass Index scale. I started here at 165 lb, which is BMI 30 for someone my height and termed "obese" by BMI scale. Someone who is 157 lbs may have a legitimate reason to feel bad about their weight.
Did you read the rest of my post? I am 5'8". I also commented that I GET IT that other people are shorter or used to being much smaller and so on. I do understand a person who is 5'2" and 157 lb being upset about their weight, sure...but to be like "I wanna die I'm so fat" seems like a terrible extreme to me and doesn't at all sound like you.0 -
It is all perception though. What one person considers fat is another persons ideal weight. Set your own goals0
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When someone says they're sooo fat. And I weigh more than them. >:(
What is it that bothers you about them saying that?
Maybe that's just how they feel about themselves.0
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