Chronic Cheating

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2

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  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    Kick him to the curb. She will never be able to trust him again, despite whatever counseling and help he gets. She will FOREVER have the thought that he is cheating in the back of her mind.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I do understand your need/desire to be protective, but it isn't your place to comment on any of her decisions, in my humble opinion.
  • accelerashawn
    accelerashawn Posts: 470 Member
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    A dude that cheats is not happy with his girl. Therefore...the girl needs to get out.

    If a dude is not happy with his girl...he cannot just become happy...the girl needs to get out.

    In my experience...those who cheat repeatedly cheat until they find someone that they don't want to cheat on. She is obviously not that dude's someone...move on.
  • rebeccaplatt21
    rebeccaplatt21 Posts: 175
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    i agree with everything that everyone has said so far.

    i will also say this, i have never been faithful to anyone in my life except ONE.....my now husband, and we've been together for 8 years this oct.

    people CAN change, they just have to WANT to!!
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
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    He's probably done worse by her than the things she found. He will most likely continue to behave poorly and disrespect their relationship as long as he can get away with it.

    The best advice you can give your friend is that she should consider this day 1 of their relationship if they're going to move on together. That means pushing off the wedding several years while she rebuilds trust in him.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    This is a train-wreck. .A person who cheats, particularly by pursuing relationships with multiple people, isn't doing it by some mistake. . he didn't fall in love with some co-worker he had to see everyday. .No, he's out there looking for women to send pics of his junk to. . .

    He's not going to stop doing this. .
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    I've known one or two that have "reformed" but it wasn't because they found God. It was because they found the right person.
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
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    I think a lot of people use God as more of a "get out of jail free" card than a morality guide. And it's because the majority of the population will fall for it. It's disgusting to prey on people's faith like that.

    Also, I think he could change, but she is apparently not worth it for him, so not for her.

    And I also thought this would be about food.
  • 6ftamazon
    6ftamazon Posts: 340 Member
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    I've known one or two that have "reformed" but it wasn't because they found God. It was because they found the right person.

    This guy reminds me of my ex, who actually said to me once "women are like fruit, you can't just eat pineapple every day, or you'd get sick of it". Some people might cheat until they find the right person, but people like this guy who text and sext10 different girls (and I can almost guarantee he's doing more, because my ex first claimed that's all he was doing), are doing it because of an addiction. These people will never find "the right person", because they actually can't stop cheating.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    So sending graphic photos and texts is not right ? :noway:

    Let me be wrong. :bigsmile:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    He sent them to me too!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    He sent them to me too!
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
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    So sending graphic photos and texts is not right ? :noway:

    I am not sure about this myself so, you first! You cam PM me. lol
  • drewba13
    drewba13 Posts: 47 Member
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    If you're sure that 4 years of emotional cheating happened, I don't know why your friend would stay with this guy. Seems unforgivable.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
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    in all seriousness. I have seen many people change when they found God. People the lowest forms of life, in their most time of need found God and changed. So I believe it is possible but unlikely this guy will change. Though I am not a bible thumper, or even go to church for that matter. I am just a believer from the things I have seen in life, however I have also seen many people that let me down.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
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    tl;dr

    Just break up!
  • accelerashawn
    accelerashawn Posts: 470 Member
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    If you're sure that 4 years of emotional cheating happened, I don't know why your friend would stay with this guy. Seems unforgivable.
    Agreed...
    I repeat...get your friend out now! It won't get better. Think about how much it'll suck for her 3 years down the road when they are married and she catches him doing something worse...then theres the separation paperwork...the waiting period...
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    I've known one or two that have "reformed" but it wasn't because they found God. It was because they found the right person.

    This guy reminds me of my ex, who actually said to me once "women are like fruit, you can't just eat pineapple every day, or you'd get sick of it". Some people might cheat until they find the right person, but people like this guy who text and sext10 different girls (and I can almost guarantee he's doing more, because my ex first claimed that's all he was doing), are doing it because of an addiction. These people will never find "the right person", because they actually can't stop cheating.

    It could be an addiction. Whether it is or isn't, these two shouldn't stay together.
  • AmandaLawter
    AmandaLawter Posts: 55 Member
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    I thought this was about food. Like, chronically having a cheat item every day, like pizza/beer/cake.

    Haha, exactly! So did I. I want to hear about cheat days with food, not relationships. I'm sure there are other forums for that. ;-)
  • Tisiwa
    Tisiwa Posts: 46 Member
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    Hmm, seems like your friend, needs your help and support, and a dose of self love. Good luck

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