I'm becoming unattractive to him

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rdltcltnl
rdltcltnl Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
I'm not sure I'm thinking about the right reason to get more serious. A part of me wants to not try and another wants to show him but will I want to be with someone that put more meaning on looks. Sigh.... I wish I don't have to deal with this BS.
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  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    That is because our society is focused on looks. Its been programmed into us. I will tell you this, that the more you lose weight and do healthy stuff for your body is the more you will become more attractive to the person in the mirror. That is the only person you need to impress. Everyday when you wake up and check out yourself in the mirror: tell yourself Just for today I will be better than I was yesterday. Then make it happen. Cheer up. You are on here so that is a great step in the right direction. :flowerforyou:
  • garnerish
    garnerish Posts: 67 Member
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    That is because our society is focused on looks. Its been programmed into us

    If by "society", you mean the human race since it began, then sure I guess.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    Yeah, just break up.
  • _Josee_
    _Josee_ Posts: 625 Member
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    I don't understand why everyone complain about their SO not being attracted to them....
    Sex is part of every healthy relationship. If he is not attracted to you, he is not. There is nothing he can do about it...

    What do you prefer? Him telling you about it, or him going elsewhere to get satisfaction ?
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I agree that the honesty about failing attraction is a good thing. It may sting a bit but I'd rather my SO be honest than lie and resent staying with me. On the other hand, if you really feel he's a shallow jerk then don't stay with him. If you stay together, will there always be pressure to be "perfect"?

    It's a simple choice really - put up with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself or move on and find someone who truly cares about you.

    Don't lose weight for him, lose it for yourself so you can be healthy and fit.
  • xShreddx
    xShreddx Posts: 127 Member
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    I love my wife and I'm attracted to her but as she loses weight, I'm even more attracted to her! With love comes attraction but as said above, attraction is physical too. I'd challenge your SO to not compare you against what may be attractive and to be supportive in you getting fit for you.
  • eels4peels
    eels4peels Posts: 229 Member
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    Sigh.... I wish I don't have to deal with this BS.

    And you don't. Relationships can end.
  • queen4elm
    queen4elm Posts: 14 Member
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    I have worried about this also. But for me, I'm not as much worried that he will say it as I am that I will become too thin for him. I have always felt that becoming unattractive to him would be devastating. But at the same time I do realize that change is evitable. I will not allow him to hold me back by not "growing" with me
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,953 Member
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    That is because our society is focused on looks. Its been programmed into us. I will tell you this, that the more you lose weight and do healthy stuff for your body is the more you will become more attractive to the person in the mirror. That is the only person you need to impress. Everyday when you wake up and check out yourself in the mirror: tell yourself Just for today I will be better than I was yesterday. Then make it happen. Cheer up. You are on here so that is a great step in the right direction. :flowerforyou:

    That's beautifully worded.

    So yes, do this!
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    I'm not sure I'm thinking about the right reason to get more serious. A part of me wants to not try and another wants to show him but will I want to be with someone that put more meaning on looks. Sigh.... I wish I don't have to deal with this BS.

    Is this the whole post? Did I miss something? I don't really understand the question. :huh:
  • trainguy917
    trainguy917 Posts: 366 Member
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    I'm not sure I'm thinking about the right reason to get more serious. A part of me wants to not try and another wants to show him but will I want to be with someone that put more meaning on looks. Sigh.... I wish I don't have to deal with this BS.

    Is this the whole post? Did I miss something? I don't really understand the question. :huh:

    You have to read the title as the first line of the post. Otherwises it feels like you came in to the middle of a conversation.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
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    That is because our society is focused on looks. Its been programmed into us

    If by "society", you mean the human race since it began, then sure I guess.

    Peacock_With_Fanned_Tail_600.jpg
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    I don't understand why everyone complain about their SO not being attracted to them....
    Sex is part of every healthy relationship. If he is not attracted to you, he is not. There is nothing he can do about it...

    What do you prefer? Him telling you about it, or him going elsewhere to get satisfaction ?


    veux-tu m'épouser? ;)
  • Sugarbeat
    Sugarbeat Posts: 824 Member
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    Has he actually said that? If so, you know how he feels, now you have to decide if he is the kind of person you want to be with. If you want to be with him and keep him you'll have to fix yourself up some more. If you like yourself the way you are or just aren't ready to change, you may need to let him go.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    I don't understand why everyone complain about their SO not being attracted to them....
    Sex is part of every healthy relationship. If he is not attracted to you, he is not. There is nothing he can do about it...

    What do you prefer? Him telling you about it, or him going elsewhere to get satisfaction ?

    This with a "and"

    being attracted to someone for a lot..not all but a lot of men has more to do with our (women's) confidence levels...regardless of looks or physical appearance.

    My own personal experience tells me that regardless of my weight....and I have ranged from 151 (now) to 205 (3 years ago) that if I "feel" sexy and confident I attract all sorts of men...

    Now that I am married it has been quite an eye opener...for example at 205 1 year after marriage I was so happy with him and our sex life was so good I felt so sexy it wasn't funny...I lost 25lbs but felt unattractive our sex life was eh...

    So we talked and he was very blunt...and honest...it wasn't him it was me...sexy doesn't come from outside....it's from the inside.
  • LoneWolfRunner
    LoneWolfRunner Posts: 1,160 Member
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    I've been a divorce lawyer for over 30 years.... relationships are highly over-rated, love is a sham and sex is a band-aid. Losing weight is like quitting drugs... it's only going to work if you want to do it for yourself. Doing it for someone else leads to failure and disappointment, because at the end of the day, no one really gives a **** if you lose weight or quit drugs or whatever... they are too worried about their own issues. And the last thing you ever, ever want to do is try to lose weight to make some guy happy. That will land you in relationship that will do nothing but run you down.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    I don't understand why everyone complain about their SO not being attracted to them....
    Sex is part of every healthy relationship. If he is not attracted to you, he is not. There is nothing he can do about it...

    What do you prefer? Him telling you about it, or him going elsewhere to get satisfaction ?

    +1
  • Sugarbeat
    Sugarbeat Posts: 824 Member
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    That is because our society is focused on looks. Its been programmed into us

    If by "society", you mean the human race since it began, then sure I guess.

    Peacock_With_Fanned_Tail_600.jpg

    Beautiful creatures that make the most horrible screeching noise. And love to do so when I'm driving down a country road with the windows down and forget its there, lol.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
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    love is a sham

    I honestly feel sorry for you.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    I don't understand why everyone complain about their SO not being attracted to them....
    Sex is part of every healthy relationship. If he is not attracted to you, he is not. There is nothing he can do about it...

    What do you prefer? Him telling you about it, or him going elsewhere to get satisfaction ?

    I don't understand it either. My husband and I first got together because we thought the other was hot. Our compatible personalities are what made us marriage material.

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