A delicate issue....need advice on how to handle

Greenbomb
Greenbomb Posts: 89 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I go to bootcamp 3 times a week and I love it. Recently a woman joined and we struck up a conversation before class. She's about my age and I enjoyed talking to her, so when class started we were standing next to each other. Those of you who do boot camp know that you move in groups of 3-4 to different stations, but your group stays together the whole hour. Well, here's the problem. This gal has the worst B.O. I have ever experienced. I don't mean normal BO, it's really horrible. It's like if you mixed BO with gasoline and a decomposing squirrel. It is so bad I had to breath out of my mouth the whole hour. The next day I said hello, and tried to place myself in a different group, but she saddled right up next to me and now I think every class is going to be like this.

What to do?
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Replies

  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    If another class isn't an option maybe ask the instructor to make some class announcement nicely encouraging deodorant use before class? Or tell her you're sensitive to scents and her shampoo or detergent must have something that irritates you so you'll need to keep some distance during class?
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I would just quit lol. Terrible yet honest advice.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    You'd be surprised what your brain will cut out in terms of scents - it's one of the easiest senses for your brain to ignore. Just put up with it, it's not the end of the world. That's what I do for one guy on my softball team. And for walking along the river in the spring.

    You can also try inviting a friend with you. If she sees you're busy chatting and working out with that person, she may find someone else, depending on her personality.
  • trisH_7183
    trisH_7183 Posts: 1,486 Member
    Is the BO noticeable before the class starts? If not,she could be one of those ppl with that problem from sweat.if so,the ppl near here will have to get thru it or find another class.Maybe other posters will have advice to offer.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    I would just quit lol. Terrible yet honest advice.

    Heh, me too (or figure out a way to do different days/times), and yet I agree it's bad advice. Avoidance about stuff like that is one of my failings.
  • Greenbomb
    Greenbomb Posts: 89 Member
    I wish I knew her well enough to say something, but I don't. I think today I will show up for class a few minutes late after it's already started and join another group. I know it sounds silly, but I really am very sensitive to aromas and this is seriously making me not want to go to class.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    If you enjoy chatting maybe bring up how you get ready for boot camp such as type of deodorant and body spray. It may spur a conversation or at least get her thinking about doing something different.
  • SmartForAGirl
    SmartForAGirl Posts: 28 Member
    What a shame it would be if you arrived four minutes late and the groups had already formed and you just quickly rushed to the nearest one that would almost certainly not be hers.
  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
    Apparently I'm the only one who would just come right out and say "please start wearing deoderant or you're going to have to find another workout buddy". *shrug*
  • jasonctyler
    jasonctyler Posts: 40
    If you enjoy chatting maybe bring up how you get ready for boot camp such as type of deodorant and body spray. It may spur a conversation or at least get her thinking about doing something different.
    What a shame it would be if you arrived four minutes late and the groups had already formed and you just quickly rushed to the nearest one that would almost certainly not be hers.

    These, both of these. If all else fails, buy a can of spray on deodorant and keep it it your gym bag, when you get a break spray some on yourself and toss the can to her. If that isn't a hint, I dunno what is...

    The last thing I'd do is let it keep you from going.
  • mom2_4gr8kids
    mom2_4gr8kids Posts: 74
    I understand the sensitivity to smells, especially BO! My second son is starting to get a little stinky between showers, everytime I hug him I realize he's not using the deodorant I bought him. At least with him, I can say something.

    I hate to say it, but I would switch days/times or quit the class. Avoidance is easier for me than hurting someone's feelings. I just don't think there is a delicate way to tell her she stinks.
  • Lindzpnc
    Lindzpnc Posts: 98 Member
    the sad thing is she probably has no clue.. youd be doing her a favor by telling her really
  • wannabehealthyagain
    wannabehealthyagain Posts: 33
    In your post, you state that you two struck up a conversation and all was fine....then the sweat started flowing from working out and she smelled bad. It's most likely not a deodorant issue and if you avoid her you will only be exactly like every other person in her life who rejects her because of a problem she can't do anything about. My advice is to focus on your workout no matter what group you're in. There are much worse things in the world that a person can be besides stinky when they work out hard. Please....unbelievable. Suck it up, Cupcake.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    I always blame detergent/perfume/hair spray for giving me a headache. If they say they don't use scented stuff, I just say, "I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's something!"

    They'll either know they stink and leave it be or not know they stink and think you're crazy. It works, though. :)
  • andrewptr1
    andrewptr1 Posts: 16 Member
    Any way you look at it, it will be pretty weird. if u have a friend to bring that would be the path of least resistance, or just spray urself down with deoderant to mask the BO. I was the smelly person at the gym the other day and put some deoderant on right then...little weird but at least im not ruining other peoples work out. weird how people either ignore or dont realize they smell...
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    stand next to her and strike up a conversation about how "someone" is really stinking up the class with their terrible B.O. and how you personally would never come to class without first applying a heavy coat of deodorant
  • mom2_4gr8kids
    mom2_4gr8kids Posts: 74
    In your post, you state that you two struck up a conversation and all was fine....then the sweat started flowing from working out and she smelled bad. It's most likely not a deodorant issue and if you avoid her you will only be exactly like every other person in her life who rejects her because of a problem she can't do anything about. My advice is to focus on your workout no matter what group you're in. There are much worse things in the world that a person can be besides stinky when they work out hard. Please....unbelievable. Suck it up, Cupcake.


    Wow. So someone that has a problem handling horrible smells should suck it up for someone they hardly know? If it was a family member, I can see that. For almost a complete stranger, not so much. OP said she is sensitive to smells, and she can't help that any more than the girl can stop herself from stinking (if it really is a medical condition rather than lack of deodorant).
  • sjd1974
    sjd1974 Posts: 12 Member
    Maybe to bring her attention to it without embarassing her, say "I am SO sorry about the last session! I got home and realized my deodorant quit on me and I did not smell so good! I have on clinical strength stuff today, so I shouldn't have that problem today!"....or something to that effect. It might subliminally trigger her to "check herself". :)
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    the sad thing is she probably has no clue.. youd be doing her a favor by telling her really

    Not if there's nothing she can do about it.

    And seriously, you come to boot camp to stink it up! Just let the girl be. You WILL survive and you don't need to make a big deal about it. Even if it's terrible. You signed up for an activity where meeting stinky people was a high probability - if you're really that sensitive, why didn't you think it through?

    I kind of feel like... if it's really that big of a deal, you should stop going. You might be more suited to working out alone.
  • LifeWithPie
    LifeWithPie Posts: 552 Member
    She smells every time? I'm not buying it. If she really is though just say something to her or wimp out and ask the instructor to since he/she is the one getting paid. Chances are the woman is somewhat clueless of how bad the issue is. She'll either fix it or be so embarrassed she'll quit. Win win.

    I buy it. I once worked with a woman who REEKED every flippin day. Eventually she got fired for stealing to the relief of all of us.

    Anyway, there are people out there that don't believe in using deoderant and have no idea how bad they smell.
  • Fit_Housewife
    Fit_Housewife Posts: 168 Member
    Omg lmfao I would probably be as nice as possible but this

    Apparently I'm the only one who would just come right out and say "please start wearing deoderant or you're going to have to find another workout buddy". *shrug*
  • wonderish
    wonderish Posts: 89 Member
    If it's every time then its a problem, but if it only happens a few times then try to stay away. I have people at work who smell and I just try to stay away... Smells bother me so much. I had to tell my roommate to show this weekend because she smelled lol
  • mxmkenney
    mxmkenney Posts: 486 Member
    I had a co-worker who smelled straight up sour every single day. I work in a small office and some days it was so bad that I ended up putting a little Vick's vapor rub under my nose. It totally works! That's what medical examiners do when they have to examine gross decomposing bodies to keep from ralphing. :smile:
  • cocorosalie
    cocorosalie Posts: 27 Member
    Apparently I'm the only one who would just come right out and say "please start wearing deoderant or you're going to have to find another workout buddy". *shrug*

    Totally my fix. I'd probably go to walmart and get the cheapest brand they have and just say "girl, I really love having you as a work out buddy, but I can't keep on if you don't start wearing this" Whip out the deodorant. "I got this for you. Keep it. Use it." Smile really big and change the subject. No harm no foul.
  • Eselte
    Eselte Posts: 49
    Does she have a "gym bag"? Slip a polite note into it.
  • Greenbomb
    Greenbomb Posts: 89 Member
    Answers to a few questions: no, she does not smell bad before class, only during. And yes, EVERY time. Really bad- has happened three times now. I'm going to do two things: arrive a little late and get in with another group, and put some perfume on me. But then....I don't want my perfume to bug anyone near me. Crap.
  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
    Oh no, the stinky girl. I know of these stinky girls and honestly that's one of my biggest fears with working out in a group. If you happen to meet up right before class throw on another coat of deodorant yourself and maybe that'll trigger her to think about that. My guess is that when she sweats its a mixture of toxins being released though, she could be a smoker, coffee drinker, stinky food eater all these things will come through during a good sweat session and they don't mix well.

    Option B - put some vicks vaporub under your nose, you might find that helps kill the scent a bit.
  • morehealthymatt
    morehealthymatt Posts: 208 Member
    after boot camp, take her aside with NO ONE ELSE AROUND and very gently, politely tell her.

    "Michelle, I really enjoy having you in my groups during boot camp...you're a great motivator and you really get into it...but I noticed that when we arrive in the morning and get into our groups, there is a very strong odor coming from you...I think it is some body odor. I only say this because I really enjoy your company...but this one thing takes away from that. I know if it were me, and I smelled bad, I would want you to say something to me. Please don't be offended."

    Of course, make sure you don't say anything along the lines of..."everyone thinks you stink." Or "everyone noticed that..."
  • gail1961
    gail1961 Posts: 111 Member
    I wish I knew her well enough to say something, but I don't. I think today I will show up for class a few minutes late after it's already started and join another group. I know it sounds silly, but I really am very sensitive to aromas and this is seriously making me not want to go to class.


    This! This is what I would do!!! Run in at the last minute...... I am sensitive to strong smells too.
  • aethre
    aethre Posts: 150 Member
    after boot camp, take her aside with NO ONE ELSE AROUND and very gently, politely tell her.

    "Michelle, I really enjoy having you in my groups during boot camp...you're a great motivator and you really get into it...but I noticed that when we arrive in the morning and get into our groups, there is a very strong odor coming from you...I think it is some body odor. I only say this because I really enjoy your company...but this one thing takes away from that. I know if it were me, and I smelled bad, I would want you to say something to me. Please don't be offended."

    Of course, make sure you don't say anything along the lines of..."everyone thinks you stink." Or "everyone noticed that..."

    I like this approach. Personally (and I could be wrong, but...) I think that if the smell isn't present beforehand and is THAT offensive, it could be a medical issue that she can't really help.

    Either that or she doesn't wash her workout clothes, in which case deodorant won't help.

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