2000 calories a day - still not gaining

Are you in counseling at all? I'm just worried if you have body dysmorphia, even if you gain weight you will still see a "skeleton in the mirror."

this is a good point.

if i missed it, i apologize, but OP, are you in recovery from an ED?

it sounds to me like a little work on your relationship with yourself is in order.


i do hope you reach all your goals, whatever they may be, and that you are truly happy with you, both inside and out.

I almost died due to anorexia 10 years ago. I had weeks to live as I ate so little.

I was in recovery for 4 years and now can eat normal but the sight of my bony body has plagued me ever since. I still feel I look anorexic

Honestly, you do not look anorexic at all. You look perfectly healthy as is.

Wish I could swap with you. I could nail 2000 calories in 1 sitting - easily!

Seek help asap. Nobody here can give you what you really need

I agree.

TDEE calculators are estimates. Your real TDEE might be a few hundred calories different.

Do you use a food scale so that you are as accurate as you can be on calculating your calories? Normally people underestimate how much they are eating, but a person with history of ED perhaps has the opposite problem.

Add more calorie dense foods so that you are not necessarily eating more volume, but getting more bang for your buck.

Honestly, you do not look anorexic at all. You look perfectly healthy as is.

This is what everyone tells me. I dont think they understand though. If someone wants to lose weight they are supported and applauded.

I am ignored and given dirty looks saying I want to gain.

This is why you need to seek psychiatric counseling. Sometimes you have to go through a few therapists in order to find the one that you can build a relationship with. I had to go through 4 psychiatrists and 3 psychologists for my anxiety in order to find the one that I was compatible with.

We can tell you you don't look anorexic or like a skeleton a million times, but all that matters is that YOU believe it. And you don't which is why you need to get help so one day you can look in the mirror and be happy with what you see.

Truly, you look great and do not need to gain weight. Honestly, being fat and having cellulite is not something to strive for. I promise you it is not something you want. You could develop a number of health problems if you gain too much weight. That would be truly awful (trust me, I'm dealing with it now).

I suggest getting your metabolism measured at a clinic.

Alternatively, just track consistently and accurately. If after 4-6 weeks you aren't making progress towards your goal, increase your calories. Track consistently and accurately for another 4-6 weeks and reevaluate. Continue until you reach your goal. (If your weight doesn't change for a sufficiently long period of time, congratulations...you've found your maintenance calories/TDEE.

TL;DR - knowing the actual number of your TDEE or BMR is almost entirely worthless. Being able to eat consistently on either side of TDEE depending on your goals is essential.

(I'm answering more for those reading who are still trying to figure this whole weight gain (or loss) thing out. OP, I believe your most important problems to address right now are not in calculating your TDEE but in finding the right professional help for where you are psychologically right now. Address and fix that first and then worry about progress towards your weight goal.)

I agree, just up the calories and see if it makes a difference.

I suggest getting your metabolism measured at a clinic.

Alternatively, just track consistently and accurately. If after 4-6 weeks you aren't making progress towards your goal, increase your calories. Track consistently and accurately for another 4-6 weeks and reevaluate. Continue until you reach your goal. (If your weight doesn't change for a sufficiently long period of time, congratulations...you've found your maintenance calories/TDEE.

TL;DR - knowing the actual number of your TDEE or BMR is almost entirely worthless. Being able to eat consistently on either side of TDEE depending on your goals is essential.

(I'm answering more for those reading who are still trying to figure this whole weight gain (or loss) thing out. OP, I believe your most important problems to address right now are not in calculating your TDEE but in finding the right professional help for where you are psychologically right now. Address and fix that first and then worry about progress towards your weight goal.)

I agree, just up the calories and see if it makes a difference.

But consistently and accurately. So many people who are trying to gain weight claim they're "eating as much as they can" or they're "eating all the time" but when they actually track, they find out they are subconsciously adjusting for it. They may stuff themselves at a particular meal but then skip the next meal or significantly cut back on calories. Same with eating more frequently...they simply eat a little less.

Our bodies are remarkably adept at keeping us at certain set-points. To overcome takes a certain amount of discipline in consistency and accuracy. It isn't always enough to just "eat more" without knowing what the baseline is that you're trying to surpass.

Signed,
Once 6', 115 pounds

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to gain, as long as you don't become overweight (as there are several health risks associated with being overweight). 2000 is a pretty average maintenance intake for a woman honestly; you're going to have to fit in a lot more in order to gain...I'd say 2500 at a minimum, more if you can. It's all about those calorie dense foods man:
-Pancakes (easy to make dairy free by subbing almond or soy milk for cow milk) with lots of vegan butter and pure maple syrup
-peanut and almond butter
-trail mix (dried fruit, nuts, chocolate)
- chocolate (dark, milk, or semisweet is all fine considering your trying to gain, but do try to stay away from candy bars with all their added unhealthy crap)
-big bowls of granola in soy or almond milk
-coconut milk ice cream
-Try blending coconut milk into smoothies--it's very high cal but still healthy
-avocados
-sub chicken thighs for chicken breast
-sub 80% ground beef for lean ground beef or ground chicken
-FATTY FISH is your friend! SO good for you but very high cal: salmon, mackerel, sardines
-high cal protein bars/ PRO BARS=high cal, yummy, healthy
-dates filled with peanut butter...sooooo good
Since you can afford it, why not make some tasty desserts like chocolate chip walnut cookies, blueberry muffins, homemade scones with jam? Just switch out the butter for vegan butter and the milk for almond/soy milk so as not to irritate your dairy allergy.

Also, for your peace of mind, I would recommend seeing a counselor about your body dysmorphia.

One thing no one has mentioned is to check and see if you are in ketosis from too much protein - if you're sensitive to carbs, this can be an issue.
You can check this with ketone strips from a drug store.

I'm pretty sure ketosis doesn't work that way

OP, I would suggest doing some research and finding a therapist who will work with you. They are out there and they are there to help you. I don't think you're going to find what you need here.

I highly, HIGHLY recommend counseling--with the right person for you. I don't want to pass judgment on you, but it does seem as though you've replaced one extreme with another. I understand wanting to be healthy and alive, but you have to strive for that. Healthy.

Good luck, sincerely.

This, best of luck to you! :flowerforyou: