Who is single and why do you think you’re single?

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  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    I think a lot of people have hit the nail on the head saying that you have to love yourself first. If youre not in a good place in your life and with yourself then its just really not conducive to a relationship. Be at peace with yourself and who you are-and quit looking for someone-and you'll find the right person!
    :heart:
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    I'm single because I want to save some poor *kitten* from a lifetime of misery. :bigsmile:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's a good reason.
    ya both cracked me up!:laugh: :tongue:
  • Xandi
    Xandi Posts: 319
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    I am not Single, I am married to the awesome-est man in the world!
    I think that the person you are with has to enhance you!
    I am a better person with my man than I am alone!
    :heart: :blushing: :love: :happy: :wink:
  • spuzo
    spuzo Posts: 50
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    I'm almost 39 and I've never been in a relationship, I've never dated anyone. I never really found anyone who I thought was worthy of my time and energy. I'm thinking more and more that I'm just an aromantic asexual [any others on this site???] but how do you know for sure...it's not like there's a test.

    More and more when I see people together - married or dating I think "thank god Im single!". The interactions both fascinate me and confuse me.

    There's a few ladies here at work who all they talk about is getting married - that's their only goal in life and that confuses me so much - I dont get it....

    Edited to add: Strangely enough I LOVE the show "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Four Weddings".
  • esteemacalm
    esteemacalm Posts: 27
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    I think a lot of people have hit the nail on the head saying that you have to love yourself first. If youre not in a good place in your life and with yourself then its just really not conducive to a relationship. Be at peace with yourself and who you are-and quit looking for someone-and you'll find the right person!
  • esteemacalm
    esteemacalm Posts: 27
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    Great point about being at peace with yourself.

    I have oft times noticed that many of my slimmer, shapely girl friends have a calmness and a relaxed nature about themselves when we are with a group of men, whereas some of my overweight friends. myself included at times, go above and beyond when around a group of guys...you know, doing things like talking too loud and too MUCH, laughing too loud...just being real "EXTRA" if you will. Like we are trying waaaaay too hard, and it shows.

    It seems to me that my girl friends who are at peace and not stressing off of getting a boyfriend, have men flocking to them in droves. Lack of desperation is appealing to some, I suppose :)
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    I am. I'm getting my personal affairs in order at the moment and I couldn't fully bring someone into my life knowing I'm not satisfied with where I'm at right now. If I don't feel fully committed to my own personal life, there's no way I'd attempt to bring someone else into it.

    That, and I'm a total d-bag. I have astronomically high standards for every criteria, and if they're not met at an acceptable level, it ain't gettin' past her crib or a motel room, since I refuse to bring them to my spot. I don't know WHO'S a stalker, and I don't need another one showing up out of nowhere to make a random surprise visit. I make it explicitly clear from the beginning that I'm not looking for anything and that if they catch feelings, I'm gone. Broken hearts, dirty looks, hate texts, etc. usually follow.
  • radtech811
    radtech811 Posts: 2
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    I LOVE what Amelia said! You don't need someone to complete you, but to enhance you! BEAUTIFUL!!!
    I am single, and complete. I have 3 children and a granddaughter and they are my world. I have my career, my family, my friends, and my complete independence. I don't NEED a man to complete me. I don't even date. The reason for that is that my self-esteem level is really low. Once I start feeling good about myself, I will start dating again. But, I'm afraid that I will be so incredibly selective due to really bad past relationships that I won't find many men that I would be willing to go out with. I guess time will tell.
  • joygwen
    joygwen Posts: 30 Member
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    I think there are a lot of reasons why I'm single but I guess it boils down to the fact that it's not God's timing yet. When it's his timing, I'll be ready, he will be ready, we'll meet, or realize it if we already now each other and it'll happen.

    I know being overweight and unhealthy doesn't help me in that department, but it's not all of it. I sometimes wonder if I put off an air of not available, not open to a relationship. I also have 4 kids, that's a down side for some guys but it won't be for the right one. I'm also pretty darn independent. I was talking to a friend and we decided we aren't quite needy enough, or don't let on that there are things we do need. If I have a flat tire, I change it, if somethings broke, a lot of times I can fix it or I go get it fixed. Maybe I need to be a little more damsel in distress like too. Who knows. Personally I think mostly it has to do with that first paragraph.
  • AZChatterB
    AZChatterB Posts: 248 Member
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    I'm single... after a bad marriage and divorce (13 years ago!). Part of it was the depression and such after a failed marriage, including gaining over 100 pounds, and part of it is that I'm not sure I can trust somebody that completely again. I will say that I am happy with who I am (have lost 80 pounds in the past year, and still working on it) and really like living alone. I love my house and furniture and doing what I want when I want. That's not to say I don't sometimes feel some angst, especially when most of my friends are married or in relationships. It can make it hard when I'm invited to a party (or worse, a wedding) and I don't have anyone to go with. It is what it is, though.
  • canoekayak
    canoekayak Posts: 29
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    “ I think a lot of people have hit the nail on the head saying that you have to love yourself first. If you’re not in a good place in your life and with yourself then its just really not conducive to a relationship. Be at peace with yourself and who you are-and quit looking for someone-and you'll find the right person! “ - nicely put!

    and

    I have been married and divorced - that was miserable. I have Been lied to and cheated on. - that stinks too.

    So I’m single because I choose to be. There’s to much that I’m trying to accomplish in my life right now for a serious relationship. If she’s out there when the time is right as Amelia said =

    “ Amelia said! You don't need someone to complete you, but to enhance you! BEAUTIFUL!!! “

    - I dig that !!!
  • Pinoy_Pal
    Pinoy_Pal Posts: 281 Member
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    ...single because it was lust, not love.
  • JaneZv
    JaneZv Posts: 200
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    I think I haven't met the the right guy. Those around me are frat boys-ish type guys which is a turn off. Perhaps I'm in college or I may be mixing with the wrong crowd... I really don't know....... I prefer someone more mature, sophisticated and self-confident. Oh and polite and have manners... but those guys are usually married. :grumble:
  • MalTru
    MalTru Posts: 37
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    I'm single, and have been for quite some time. I'm pretty sure it's because I'm insecure and shy, which means it's hard for people to get to know me, and because once they do get to know me, they realize that I'm weird- "clinically quirky" is my favorite phrase for describing myself (stolen from "The Middle"). I'm also incredibly not girlie- like posters before me, I'm not looking for someone to "complete me" or looking for a "soulmate." I'm much more practical when it comes to relationships and caring for other people, and so I sort of hold myself back when I am interested in a guy because I don't want to go too fast, but then end up going too slow and things just fizzle out before anything real gets started.
  • kbanzhaf
    kbanzhaf Posts: 601 Member
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    I'm single as I was widowed 10 years ago at the age of 40. I have concentrated on raising my daughter, and now that she is in college, I'd be open to a relationship, but since I live in a very small town, the number of available men is pretty small.....and I really don't think I'm that picky. I am very apprehensive about trying online sites, though, and it's hard to meet new people in my area.

    I agree with all of the comments about getting yourself together before you can love someone else, and that you don't NEED someone to complete you.

    K
  • Pineapples
    Pineapples Posts: 246 Member
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    I am single because part of me chooses to be single; commitment issues perhaps? not sure. The other part could be because the ONE hasn't found me yet. I figure if the ONE found me then I wouldn't have any commitment issues to begin with since being with that man would make it all worthy?

    At one point I used to feel miserable, but over the last year I've learned a lot about myself and learned to find happiness, peace and joy within the one source, ME. Living in the present, no more dwelling in the past or daydreaming about the future. Just happy with what I've been given at this precise moment. :wink:
  • CSausage
    CSausage Posts: 345
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    I'm single because I want to be. I date and have alot of fun. No one seems worthy to commit to. I've been cheated on, lied to and stolen from so I want to make sure it is right. In the mean time, I'm having alot of fun with all the wrong ones :drinker:

    Yep...what she said!
  • portlandsundevil
    portlandsundevil Posts: 213 Member
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    I'm single because I'm focusing on me!! And it feels great! I was in an on again, off again relationship for 5 years until last May. When the right guy comes around, I can honestly say I'll love me enough to love him :)
  • Tash_Bgosh
    Tash_Bgosh Posts: 46 Member
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    thats an interesting question lol I'm single because I am a magnet for guys who do not want to be in relationships. This has been hapenning since college and now that I'm older im over the bull. So I guess I'm just waiting for a guy who is willing to give me what I want! I know my self worth and I'm waiting for someone who sees it as well :)

    Until then I'm a free agent lol
  • simplexserenity
    simplexserenity Posts: 116 Member
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    This made me think a little, not gonna lie. 2010 was the first year I've been single since I was 16. The whole year I dated quite a bit, learned a lot about myself and MEN..and definitely more about what I'm NOT looking for versus what I am looking for. My weight loss makes it a little more difficult when dating because I have some sort of hatred for certain guys who used to pick on me or make me feel inadequate..now they want a piece? Nah uh, that's not how I roll :)

    Also..I want a career! Some guys just wanna get married already and I can't do that until I graduate and have a set career in mind. Priorities, baby.

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