Would you be offended if......

Tanie98
Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
one of your coworkers keep going on and on how you are losing weight? I am 5`3 and small frame so a 10 pound weight lose shows.even when I gained last winter they point it out as well :devil: Now that I am losing and the weight is meting off it she points it out all the time as well:grumble: .would this offend you?How would you handle the situation?
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Replies

  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    one of your coworkers keep going on and on how you are losing weight? I am 5`3 and small frame so a 10 pound weight lose shows.even when I gained last winter they point it out as well :devil: Now that I am losing and the weight is meting off it she points it out all the time as well:grumble: .would this offend you?How would you handle the situation?

    The same thing is happening to me with a few people at work. And I still have a lot of weight to lose so I anticipate more and more comments coming my way in the future.

    The co-workers mean well and the weight loss is visible so they're sincere. I'm not offended by it, but I do find it annoying. I'm a very private person and I prefer that folks refrain from commenting on my appearance, one way or the other.

    Despite this, I smile and say Yes, I'm Losing Weight - Thank You. I do this every time. And I leave it at that. Lest I be the one who offends, which I'd rather not be :)

    I have had few people at work point it out as well but they leave it at that. Honestly I would rather they keep that to themselves even though I know they mean well.I just find it akward
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    So you are getting offended because someone acknowledges your weight loss?

    I would say thank you and move on with my day. Can't win anymore people are offended if you don't say something or if you do...
  • Jim_Barteck
    Jim_Barteck Posts: 274 Member
    I can understand how it would get annoying in pretty short order. Just try to take it in the spirit in which it was offered :)
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    So you are getting offended because someone acknowledges your weight loss?

    I would say thank you and move on with my day. Can't win anymore people are offended if you don't say something or if you do...

    I would prefer if they keep that to themselves. I don't get offended but just find it awkward especially if wont shut up about it Just like if I were to gain weight as well i woudn`t want them to point that either since its a personal thing.idk I guess everyone is different
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I wouldn't be offended. My best friend and I dance together. I'm very open about my fitness. She comments on my body often. It's good to have an outside eye. Other people that I dance with comment as well.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    Sometimes it's truly spontaneous and the outpouring of pure joy for me just melts my heart. But it can be embarrassing - you're with someone you work with and there to talk about a work related task and suddenly someone starts going on and on about your weight. Depending on the setting I'll make small talk, otherwise just smile and say thank you the first couple times. After that, just smile. They'll hopefully get the hint that if they truly want to keep discussing it, it'll be by themselves.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    It's so rude to comment on people's weight. You gotta wonder about some people's parents, lol!

    Yes, I'm a little offended when people make my body the topic of conversation. Because it's offensive.

    I used to feel sucker-punched, but am used to it now.

    "I'm sorry. Can we switch the topic of conversation to something other than My Body? It makes me feel weird." Said in the right tone, people stop without getting their feathers ruffled. :)
  • WisteriaLady
    WisteriaLady Posts: 28 Member
    I started nearly 2 weeks ago, I am looking forward to the day when someone asks me if I have lost weight!

    I would take it as a compliment.
  • Jfitfree
    Jfitfree Posts: 3
    I agree that it's rude but ... whenever it's happened to me I've given myself a high five and done a little inner happy-dance.
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.

    Uh... She said it's the same person yappin' about it everyday. Find something else to talk about already? It's personal. Or let's hang out and enjoy some drinks after work. When did work stop being for actually working? And who said it's the same people whining about nobody noticing their efforts? Some of us notice in the mirror and on the scale and that's more than enough!
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.
    They might have cancer. They might be unable to eat because their husband has been beating the crap out of them and they're stressed. They might be low on funds and can't buy enough food. They might be taking drugs. They just might not like you making their body a topic of conversation.

    It is rude to comment on people bodies. The theory behind this is that it makes people uncomfortable. Some people are not happy about their weight gain or loss, either, so it's best to not make them unhappy.

    Spouses get to make all kinds of nice comments that might be inappropriate for others.

    Doctors are the only ones who get to make observations that might be considered rude by others. "Have you been trying to lose or is it just coming off?" "What is that spot on your face?" "You have gained twenty pounds. Are you eating more?"

    Everyone else should limit their comments to, "You look great!" without details. :)
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.




    Uh... She said it's the same person yappin' about it everyday. Find something else to talk about already? It's personal. Or let's hang out and enjoy some drinks after work. When did work stop being for actually working? And who said it's the same people whining about nobody noticing their efforts? Some of us notice in the mirror and on the scale and that's more than enough!


    Agreed. If they say it once then fine no big deal but this person talks about it all the time and quite frankly it gets annoying and I feel awkward when people comment on my body. Positive or negetive
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.
    They might have cancer. They might be unable to eat because their husband has been beating the crap out of them and they're stressed. They might be low on funds and can't buy enough food. They might be taking drugs. They just might not like you making their body a topic of conversation.

    It is rude to comment on people bodies. The theory behind this is that it makes people uncomfortable. Some people are not happy about their weight gain or loss, either, so it's best to not make them unhappy.

    Spouses get to make all kinds of nice comments that might be inappropriate for others.

    Doctors are the only ones who get to make observations that might be considered rude by others. "Have you been trying to lose or is it just coming off?" "What is that spot on your face?" "You have gained twenty pounds. Are you eating more?"

    Everyone else should limit their comments to, "You look great!" without details. :)

    Strong this:smile:
  • yourpalsoap
    yourpalsoap Posts: 88
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.
    They might have cancer. They might be unable to eat because their husband has been beating the crap out of them and they're stressed. They might be low on funds and can't buy enough food. They might be taking drugs. They just might not like you making their body a topic of conversation.

    It is rude to comment on people bodies. The theory behind this is that it makes people uncomfortable. Some people are not happy about their weight gain or loss, either, so it's best to not make them unhappy.

    Spouses get to make all kinds of nice comments that might be inappropriate for others.

    Doctors are the only ones who get to make observations that might be considered rude by others. "Have you been trying to lose or is it just coming off?" "What is that spot on your face?" "You have gained twenty pounds. Are you eating more?"

    Everyone else should limit their comments to, "You look great!" without details. :)

    Strong this:smile:
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I wish people would mind their own business and keep their mouths shut. This would annoy the hell out of me coming from a co-worker.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    If it got to the point where I got offended, I'd straight up tell her to STFU about my weight. I'm sure you'll find a much kinder way to say it, but come out and tell her to shut up about it. Some people are that clueless that you have to be pointedly rude and in their face about them being buttholes. My MIL is one of those people.
  • tycho_mx
    tycho_mx Posts: 426 Member
    Why is it rude to make a comment about losing weight. I agree with the above poster, you can't win anymore. People get offended if you mention that you are losing weight and they get offended that they are doing such a hard thing and no one notices! Why not just say yes, I'm trying to improve my health and leave it at that. I just don't understand why someone would get offended by someone acknowledging that they have lost weight.

    Because every relationship is different. I can tell my teammates "you're slow, you suck today, start working" etc. But not to my coworkers. Because context and relationships are different.

    If you are not sure if you relationship is good enough to make such a comment, maybe inquire on it before making it. It is not necessarily rude to comment on people's bodies - it is rude to assume your relationship allows you to do so when it is not in fact the case.

    And yes, every relationship is different and changes over time. Which means you actually have to use your brain before you open your mouth. Actually, make that before doing anything. The world would be a better place :)
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    I work alone...

    ..but sometimes I like to tell myself how purty I look. Should I hate myself?
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    Doctors are the only ones who get to make observations that might be considered rude by others. "Have you been trying to lose or is it just coming off?" "What is that spot on your face?" "You have gained twenty pounds. Are you eating more?"

    Everyone else should limit their comments to, "You look great!" without details. :)

    ^This. My mother asks me all the time (she lives with me), and I find it annoying. To her my answers are "no, these are my big jeans" or "only a half pound since the last time you asked". I can't figure out how to get her to drop it without starting a fight (I'm finding that older folks and parent in particular seem to have no filter). I appreciate it when she limits it to "you look very nice today".
  • Eoghann
    Eoghann Posts: 130 Member
    No.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    "Thanks for noticing."

    And then move on. If she gets a reaction from you and knows it's bothering you she's going to keep doing it.
  • TheFrugalFatass
    TheFrugalFatass Posts: 58 Member
    You know what's worse? When your eating-partners-in-crime start noticing and become afraid that they're going to lose their "eating buddy." Just wait until you start getting "concerned" questions, like "Don't you think you've lost enough weight?" or "When do you plan on going off your diet?" or "Don't you think you're getting too thin?" when you are still 15-20 lbs overweight. :P
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!


    tumblr_m6fvmtUoNr1rrdwdy.gif
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    I work alone...

    ..but sometimes I like to tell myself how purty I look. Should I hate myself?
    Yes. You should tell yourself not to do that.

    If you get really out of control, though, you might have to hit yourself to stop it..

    If it escalates to the point where you had to use violence, call the police and report yourself. You don't want problems with yourself later.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    If it bothers you that much, just say thanks for the compliment, but my weight loss/gain is not up for discussion. Why is it so hard to be direct?
  • saraharnoldnelson
    saraharnoldnelson Posts: 26 Member
    OP, my understanding of your original post is that you are dealing with a co-worker who makes constant comments about your weight - whether it has gone up or down.

    How I would handle it would depend on what kind of relationship I wanted to have with this person.

    If I was content with icy politeness, I would respond to the next comment with, "We're done with the discussions regarding my weight. Please find something else to worry about."

    If I wanted a somewhat cordial relationship, I would simply respond with yes or no answers and an exaggerated smile.

    If I was content for her to be happy and myself to be miserable, I would just let it continue.

    Obviously, this is more than someone saying, "Wow, you look great." And it sounds rather awful. Good luck with CC (crazy coworker.)
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
    People get offended if you compliment their weight loss...People get butthurt when you don't seem to notice.

    There is no win win with people that are just going to find a way to get offended about one thing or another. It's all just one big TRAP!


    tumblr_m6fvmtUoNr1rrdwdy.gif

    Yep ! Traps are everywhere .
  • Missfit35
    Missfit35 Posts: 75
    I would not be offended whats so ever I would say Thank You kindly for noticing and slowly strut away!
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    Having similar issues. I just smile, say thank you (even when they're saying I don't need to lose anymore now!) and just keep on towards my goals. Take it as a compliment and move on.

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