Telling your significant other that they are gaining weight

Nope and in the words of Tigg_er - I would beat the crap out of him if he dared tell me I was gaining weight. :bigsmile:

Yep mums the word ! :drinker: Life's a tad easier that way .

Avoiding difficult conversations, whether on the giving or receiving end, is not emotionally mature.

If you our your significant other has concerns about one or the other's weight, you should definitely speak about it. You should approach the subject carefully, because it's gonna hurt even if you're as gentle as you can be. But, you need to know how each other feels about the subject.

If you or your S.O. is badgering the other partner, well that's different. No good.

I did and I wasn't so nice about it either. I have been trying hard since the last week of July as we both need to lose weight but to this day has done very little to change despite me trying to give encouragement. I guess I lost my cool! and I regret that but I am really enjoying taking exercise and the few sacrifices that I have recently made. I can't see why anyone doesn't want to step up and do the same.

My husband and I have already made a pact that if either one of us thought the other was getting fat that we'd open our mouths and say so.

I disagree with those who say that the person obviously knows it and doesn't need to be told because that's not always true. People get complacent and happy in their relationships and the fact is that they don't always realize that they're gaining weight because their happy. They also don't realize that it might possibly bother their SO because they're husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is too afraid to say anything because they don't want to hurt the other persons feelings. So the person who's gaining continues on their happy gain because they figure that since their SO hasn't said anything then they're fine with it so who cares.

There's nothing wrong with saying "Babe, don't you think you should put the cheetos down and maybe have a salad

ETA: For all of those who say "mums the word" or "no way! I don't want to deal with that!" What do you do when there is a serious conflict that needs to be hashed out? Bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away?

No, I luv sleeping on the couch . That's usually why I add a smiley to some of my sarcastic remarks so they are taken that way. Sorry you missed it.

My boyfriend has gained weight (15lbs?) since we got together 3 years ago but he maintains at this point. He brought up his weight gain. He's aware of it. I'm sure MOST people are aware that they've gained weight once the clothes start fitting snugly. I would only talk to him about it if it he continued to gain weight to an extent that it made me concerned for his health or if he was constantly complaining about his weight gain. It wouldn't be about looks, it would be about his well-being. I see nothing wrong with sitting down a person (that you care about and are close to) and speaking to them about your concern for their health/offering to help them lose weight if they want. If they don't want to change their lifestyle or they aren't concerned with their health, there's not much more you can do, in my opinion. It's not up to me to change people.

ETA:: Personally, if I gained a noticeable amount of weight, I would want my boyfriend to let me know in a polite way. I see nothing wrong with returning the favor.

we're very open and honest in our marriage so when my husband had ended up gaining a bunch of weight I flat out told him he was a fatass and so was I. It was due to my CONSTANT pushing him to be better that he lost the weight has got in shape and at 37 years old is in the best shape of his life. His depression has all but gone away, his knees no longer hurt and he almost shines now. If I had just kept quiet and felt it was a "personal choice" then he would probably have gained more weight and been on medication by now. I think MORE people should speak up, not just spouses but family members too. I've also lost over 60 pounds and he is there with me every step of the way.

Oh and I'm sure someone will call me a control freak but you need to understand my husband told me to do this. He lacked and will power in the beginning and had to learn it so me telling him "maybe you don't need that third sandwich" or "only 1 serving of ice cream" is really helpful. Maybe that doesn't work for everyone but it works for us.

The best advice I can give anyone on marriage is talk to your partner, even if it might be silly talk about, don't be afraid to share your hopes and goals.

I would let them know by mooing whenever we engaged in coitus.

I would NEVER be so rude and cruel to tell my husband anything like that, as he never once said anything to me when I gained some weight. I love him thin, chunky...whatever...he's still my best friend, my soul mate and a sexy beast no matter what he weighs. I am attracted to him on the deepest level that there is. It's the same as asking if you'd stay with someone if they became disfigured...answer is yes. I will always be with him.

I disagree that it's rude and cruel to discuss the weight of somebody you care about. It has nothing to do with sexiness or appearance, it's about health. I love my boyfriend to pieces and if he was fat, I wouldn't love him any less, but I would be concerned for his health due to the health problems that run in his family (they're exacerbated by obesity). I feel that expressing your concerns in a polite fashion is anything but cruel. Pretending that I haven't noticed the person's changing body would make me feel like my relationship wasn't an open and honest one. I don't see how explaining your concern for their weight gain is ANYTHING like leaving somebody because they became disfigured.

Yeah, I had an ex who decided to inform me I'd gained weight via grabbing a love handle & stating "whose packing on the lbs?". Needless to say it didn't end well for him.

Sit them down and let them know that they have been gaining weight and they may not be aware. Then suggest that you both make a plan together because you realize that you need it too.