I feel like I'm losing control...

I really don't have a lot of advice for you but I wanted to offer support since I struggle with many of the same feelings. I should be maintaining but I am somewhat afraid to increase my food every time I see those couple pounds of water weight settling in and I start restricting again. I do have some belly fat left so it's not dangerous, yet. I have had a couple days at maintenance this week and I also feel that sense of losing control and worry all my old habits will come back since I have yo-yo dieted a bit over the last few years. When I start feeling out of control like that I really make an effort to stop and think about what I am doing. I start getting more strict with my food choices and log every bite so I can visually see what my intake is and the potential damage it can do if I don't make better choices. Sometimes it seems to help me get my eating under control but not always. My best advice is not to let one bad day spill over into the next. It can be so hard to get back on track once you start over eatingl. Having control is just as important in maintenance as it was when losing weight, actually more so because you no longer have that cushion of a deficit. Keep logging your food and maybe try reverse dieting where you gradually add 100-200 extra calories a day each week until you hit maintenance. I am doing more of a calorie cycling where I have two high days a week. It's a difficult process for sure. (Hugs)

Once people achieve a certain goal, sometimes they end up with a "now what?" type of thinking. I'm assuming you've accomplished your weight loss goals and now that you're maintaining, you feel stuck as though you don't have a goal to work towards anymore but at the same time, is afraid of reverting back to the old you. First, please have faith and trust in yourself. Go easy on yourself, allow yourself some slack. You're awesome and you deserve it! Second, food and exercise is great for a healthy life. And although it does take a large part of life, in the end, is it really your entire life? What other things in your life do you look forward to? Who are the people in your life do you love and should spend some more time with? What do you want to achieve? What other goals in your life have you set for yourself that you can focus on?

I'm starting to maintain myself and I kinda understand that feeling; I'm eating more and wondering if I might gain it back. Come fall, I'll be back in college taking biochemistry and organic chemistry while working on the side; I'll be stressed and I'm wondering if I will slack. But you know what, I'm gonna trust that I will continue to keep track of eating healthy and exercise, I'm gonna have faith in the calories/maintenance system, I'm gonna follow it however, I won't make it priority as I've done thus far. I'm gonna move on with life to achieve my other goals. I hope you feel better though; you're still quite young and trust me when I say this, now's the time to enjoy your youth.

This morning, I weighed myself and I'm down a pound. Even though that wasn't my intention(I was 112 and now I'm 110.6),I felt proud, but strangely motivated to eat more. I planned out my food for the day and I realized I have room for all of my favorite snacks (banana, pudding, and granola bar). The problem was, I wasn't sure how many were in the banana (I don't have a food scale). Usually, if I don't know the exact number I won't eat it. I felt okay with eating it, though. I also felt tempted to eat my snacks between meals instead of at the end of the day. That's unlike me. I can't excercise today, it's raining.
I know it all sounds weird that this bothered me; that I was okay with how I'm eating and am actually looking forward to eating, but it bothers me. I used to restrict a lot, and excercise a lot, and have only recently started eating more. Food was something I had to work for, not a given.
I feel like I'm shifting into my old self, before the weight loss. The one who ate all the time and never excercised. I feel like I'm losing the control I once had. I want that back. I want complete control.
I feel tempted to restrict again and over excercise like I used to. Nothing feels right. I don't feel normal anymore. I feel like I'm either going to fall into severe restriction, or start overeating again.
Sorry for the rant, and if you read this far: thank you. I just don't know what to do. I feel stuck and lost.

I feel for you OP, but is it really lack of control you're feeling, or just getting used to a new "normal"? Whenever we change something big in our lives, there can be a feeling of loss of control. Lots of people experience this, not just people with body image or ED issues. It takes a while to get used to these strange feelings, and then eventually they do become more normal, and overcoming the strangeness can feel empowering.

You feel you might be losing control because you are eating at different times of the day than in the recent past, but you are staying within your plan, just shifting calories around. Perhaps this is just you adapting to your new healthy normal? Give it time, take a deep breath and stick with your plan.

Once people achieve a certain goal, sometimes they end up with a "now what?" type of thinking. I'm assuming you've accomplished your weight loss goals and now that you're maintaining, you feel stuck as though you don't have a goal to work towards anymore but at the same time, is afraid of reverting back to the old you. First, please have faith and trust in yourself. Go easy on yourself, allow yourself some slack. You're awesome and you deserve it! Second, food and exercise is great for a healthy life. And although it does take a large part of life, in the end, is it really your entire life? What other things in your life do you look forward to? Who are the people in your life do you love and should spend some more time with? What do you want to achieve? What other goals in your life have you set for yourself that you can focus on?

I'm starting to maintain myself and I kinda understand that feeling; I'm eating more and wondering if I might gain it back. Come fall, I'll be back in college taking biochemistry and organic chemistry while working on the side; I'll be stressed and I'm wondering if I will slack. But you know what, I'm gonna trust that I will continue to keep track of eating healthy and exercise, I'm gonna have faith in the calories/maintenance system, I'm gonna follow it however, I won't make it priority as I've done thus far. I'm gonna move on with life to achieve my other goals. I hope you feel better though; you're still quite young and trust me when I say this, now's the time to enjoy your youth.

Very wise words! Well said, and I agree!