I don't feel like I could ever be that thin person

Hi Kate: Are you sure you weren't reading my personal journal. You are not alone. If I may make a suggestion. What I did when I first started out was I picked one thing to work on at a time. My first thing that I worked on was replacing pop with a non caloric beverage. Flavoured water, Mio, Crystal Light what have you. I worked on that for a while. Then the next thing I worked on was a healthier alternative to potato chips. You get the idea. Baby steps, if you try to do to much then you are only setting yourself up for failure. You can do this, there is a lot of good information on here and some great people. Good luck.

Your husband married you because he saw something in you that he loves. You need to take the wonderful things he is saying to you as genuine love. He is the most important person in your life. Imagine how he would feel if he knew his compliments made you sad. If you are surrounding yourself with people that look down on you.....I'm sorry but you need some new friends. From what I am reading you only feel people are judging you. Tomorrow could be a new beginning .....whether you run with it, is up to you. Everyone is here to help....no judging here just total support.:flowerforyou:

You don't have to believe it is possible. I sure didn't. All you have to do is make small changes and do your best to stick to them. I didn't gain the weight in a day and I definitely didn't lose it in a day (it took me 3 years). Just commit to waking up every day and trying again.

Doing some research about PCOS will definitely be helpful to you. Many women find that changing their diet in specific ways helps.

If the thought of the gym is just too intimidating right now, what about walking? I know you said you tire easily so start slowly. Even if you start with five minutes, it's five minutes you aren't sitting. If you increase it by a minute a day you'd be up to thirty minutes in a month.
It really is baby steps, one small achievement at a time. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Best wishes!

It is possible to live a different way but it is work. People on here will help you. Read the success stories, I read a book by Geneen Roth which helped me but I am an emotional eater. Read peoples diaries that are successful and this will help you with what to eat. Ask questions when you need help. Get some friends on here to support you. Basically it is log your calories and make yourself behave and not go over your calorie limit. You can do it, you have to want it bad and like I said do the work. If I get hungry after my calories are gone, I go to gum, celery, some strawberries, coffee and tea and tell myself I can eat tomorrow. Read those success stories on here for motivation. No need to be depressed, if I can do it anyone can and then you will get better, feel better and be able to wear those smaller clothes and look good for your new hubby that I am sure loves you no matter what.

I could have written your post myself. I hate the gym and I want nothing to do with it. SO..... I went to nerdfitness.com and found a beginner workout that I can do at home. I also have PCOS, along with Hashimoto's and Fibromyalgia, and Plantar Fasciitis in my left foot. That makes walking SO much fun (note sarcasm). There are a lot of days that it takes everything I have got to get up and go to work let alone go to the gym. Some days I don't work out, some days I do. I made some small changes to my diet and the weight is coming off, despite the lack of exercise. Like one of the previous posters said - take one thing at a time. Make small changes and set small goals for yourself with rewards for small achievements. IE: When I lose 10lbs, I will do XXX for myself. NOT food rewards. Or: When I go 30 days without XXX, I will reward myself by XXX. When you try to look at the big picture, it feels insurmountable and damn near impossible. Break it down into small amounts and it will be much easier. It wont be EASY and it wont happen in 2 weeks but stick with it and it WILL happen. Use MFP to your advantage - there are a lot of support boards out there, including one for ladies struggling with PCOS. They have good advice and are always willing to help. Take it one day at a time. You can do this! Good Luck!

Feel free to add me if you need a friend.

Walking!!!

Hi Kate: Are you sure you weren't reading my personal journal. You are not alone. If I may make a suggestion. What I did when I first started out was I picked one thing to work on at a time. My first thing that I worked on was replacing pop with a non caloric beverage. Flavoured water, Mio, Crystal Light what have you. I worked on that for a while. Then the next thing I worked on was a healthier alternative to potato chips. You get the idea. Baby steps, if you try to do to much then you are only setting yourself up for failure. You can do this, there is a lot of good information on here and some great people. Good luck.

Sorry I wrote someone else name. I guess I'm not very good at multi tasking. But the advise is still solid. :flowerforyou:
P.S. you are worth being healthy!!!

You sound just like me. i just gave up. i feel like a failure because ever time I try I figure "what's the point because someone will ***** because I didn't lose enough or am not visibly thin." I understand you completely. I found here on MFP that we are all in this together and we are not any different from anyone else on here except for maybe our goals to some extent. I have not figured it all out yet and I'm sure as hell not motivated either, but what has worked in the past for me was some support, calorie counting but not obsessing and just doing what works for me, which as asia1967 said, picking one thing to work on at a time. it all takes baby steps. I pray for everyone's success because I know how hard it can be. Don't give up!

Walking!!!

This is how I started. Walking and counting every calorie. I didn't even try to cut back the first couple of weeks. I just wanted to see what I was eating. And was it an eye opener. And then I slowly cut down. First the soda habit got toned down, then I started sticking to MFP's recommended calories, then when I started having issues with hunger I had to get more creative. But it starts with knowing you can do it.

Don't let my ticker fool you. I've lost almost 10 stone. It takes awhile, but you can do it. And you even have a husband who loves and supports you. I didn't. But I still got to skinnier than I ever thought I'd be again. I'm skinnier than I was through most of high school. I even have pictures of me in eighth grade looking chubbier than I do now. It's not too late, you can do it. By all means if you can enlist the help of a doctor, counselor, and dietitian, you should. You're worth it, get all the help you can get. But you can do this.

Believe me you are not alone! I have over 100 pounds I would like to lose. I often feel the very same way, but I also know that I am worth it and that I should love myself no matter what, and you should to!!! Keep your head up and think positive you are capable of anything you set your mind to!!

Hi there. We all want to help you and see you succeed. I am sure most of us here believe you can do it. Please come and join us in our group called 3fc pals (meaning 3 fat chicks - we are of different ages, do different things to lose weight and talk about all sorts of stuff. We have a variety of different backgrounds and would love to support you on your way.

Our group is new and needs more members. mars, dorothy and i are the ones who started it and we met on the 3fc forum. Anyone is welcome to join us. We all have our different challenges and have come a long way on our own journeys already but encourage newbies.

My first tip here is make the journey easy to do - that means not going to the gym or bothering with exercise when you don't feel like it. You can do that later when you feel ok about doing it. Its easier to lose weight in the beginning without the added elements of exercise to complicate the whole thing. I've lost all my weight this year without much exercise. Not doing it does not make weightloss any slower. Trust me on this. The reason is that most people who exercise compensate for the calories burned by eating more. Its been shown in studies. To lose weight from exercise you have to a real lot.

However, it seems like investing in a pedometer is highly motivating and will make you move about more so get one of those as soon as you can. From my recent researches it seems that perhaps the best one is called a garmin vivosek or something like that. I know the first word is right but i'm not sure about the second. If you don't want to lay out so much money, just get a cheap thing. But the garmin has the advantage of only needing to replace the batteries about once a year instead of recharging every few days and that to me seems like an enormous advantage.

Food and nutrition wise i have lots of ideas and know how as i've played about with several different approaches that work. I am now a believer that for people with insulin resistance/ diabetes and that sort of scenario, low carb is the way to go. I'm not suggesting you'd have to start off going into it at the deep end. I liked it a lot when i came in from the shallow end i.e. a modest reduction of carbs. Anyway come in and join us if you like the sound of this. Don't worry that i the biggest talker. The others have busier lives than me.

I also have a history of depression and have learnt how to manage it and stress for the benefits of weightloss.
its great that you have a loving hubby.

We are all different and what works for one may not for another so all we can do is encourage you by telling you what works for us. Right now I do not go to the gym, what I do is Leslie Sansone walk at home 5 Day Slim Down. You do not have to do all five miles to start with. You start out at your own pace walking with Leslie and when you are tired stop. If you will try doing this a little each day soon you will be walking a mile right in your own home with nobody around to watch you. This is how I got into exercising and now I enjoy my walks with Leslie. I am 68 years old and can do a mile walk without any problems but I didn't get to this point overnight. Because I had lung cancer I do not push myself that is why I decided to exercise at home. I lost 120 lbs in 4 years, but over the last year gained 20 lbs of that back due to the thyroid disease that I have. When my levels gets off then my weight goes up, however I have learned to deal with these changes. I do not let myself get upset and start thinking all kinds of negative thoughts, I just keep on my journey of eating healthy. I do not think of my journey as being on a diet, because it's not. I started out with baby steps 4 years ago changing unhealthy foods to healthier foods. One or two things at a time, now 4 years later, I just eat healthy and I stay between 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day. As for the 20 lbs that I gained, now that my doctor got my thyroid levels back to where it should be I am losing it with no problems. Just remember anything worth having is worth working for. Won't you reach out and take that baby step today. I promise you will not regret it.

Weight loss can be treated like any other big goal in life like saving money or getting a college degree. At first it seems overwhelming but when you break it into doable steps it's easier and as you reach small goals you start to feel you can do more. So start with something small such as wanting to be able to walk 1 mile or lose 1lb. Sometimes we get an all or nothing mentality that if we don't do it all to the max we shouldn't bother. It doesn't have to be like that. Here's some examples of small changes you could make:

replace 1 high calorie drink each day with flavored water
replace regular cheese with lowfat cheese at one meal
add 1 work out a week- start with a 10 or 20 minute walk, whatever you can do
park your car 5 spaces further away then you normally would
jog for 10 seconds
pick an exercise (squat, lunge, etc) and do 10-15 reps once per day
add a salad to dinner

Once you've done one, add another. Your progress will be slow at first but making small changes over time rather than overwhelming yourself can be helpful in creating a habit.


My #1 tip: don't think of this as a diet or temporary thing. Think of ways you can improve your health that you are willing to stick with.

I am personally not willing to give up pizza, mexican food, and other things I like or eat things I don't like. So I don't. I just eat smaller portions and make sure I balance it out.


When I was 21 and decided to join the Air Force I could not run 1/4 mile without stopping but I kept trying and after a few months I could do a mile without stopping. 10 years later I have done 2 half marathons. It doesn't happen overnight.

"It always seems impossible until it's done" -Nelson Mandela

It sounds like you feel like you are being judged by everyone because you are harshly judging yourself.

Please find three things that you like about yourself and write them down. They don't have to be anything to do with your physical appearance. Write them down and remind yourself that you are a good person and there are many wonderful qualities about you.

Several people mentioned walking and that sounds like a great start for you. If you don't feel comfortable walking outside, Google Leslie Sansone Walk Away The Pounds. These are walking DVD's that you can do at home and don't require any special equipment or much space to do them in. You can find them on YouTube if you want to try them out.

I also recommend that you read The Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet plan, but it will help with the emotional and self confidence side of weight loss. It will give you a list of things to do to help you build healthy habits and to help you keep going when you are feeling down.