I don't feel like I could ever be that thin person

catcalledjinx

You really can lose weight without exercising. I admit that I am quite a busy active person but I do spend a lot of time driving or sat at my computer. I have lost almost 2 stones without doing any exercise over and above my daily activity. It's all about counting those darned little calories. Make it your hobby to learn about food, so you know what will help your PCOS, and will help you to lower your calories intake. Weigh and log everything and as long as you eat/drink less than you burn, you will lose - guaranteed.

Good luck

martinel2099

I'm 6 stone overweight and have PCOS. I have been advised by my doctors to lose weight but it doesn't sink in, it just makes me want to buy a bag of m&ms. I got married last year, even that couldn't motivate me into a diet and I looked huge on the day. I feel the pitying looks from people when I try and look nice. I can't wear heels for long. I get sweaty really quickly. My thighs rub together in a skirt and cause me agony. I have awful skin. I get heartburn. I have awful stretch marks. I struggle to cut my toenails. I shy away from sex. I hate how fat my face is. Nothing looks nice on me. People look down on me. It makes me sad when my husband says I look nice. I feel judged by everyone. I love to travel but I'm put off going away because I get tired so easily. I am so so unhappy. Yet the thought of anyone seeing me do any exercise in a gym fills me with humiliation and dread. I feel like people will s****** at me trying to way healthy because what's the point. I've been overweight my whole life and always felt conspicuous but over the last two years I've put on about 3 stone with no sign of it shifting. I don't know how to get myself in the frame of mind. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to eat. I can't imagine myself ever not feeling fat and self conscious and it makes me think what's the point of making myself miserable in the gym because it won't make any difference. So this is what I'm dealing with before I've even begun. Not the best start....

You need to start over, I'd start with deleting this account, starting a new one and changing your name to something more inspiring. Thinking of yourself as Chunky chunk can't be a good feeling.

Second why are you so worried about what other people think of you, especially at the gym? 9/10 the other people working out with you there are working for the same results and I have yet to meet someone at the gym who would make fun of me for trying. I've actually had the opposite experience so far, everyone I've met at the gym including the "muscle heads" have been the greatest people to be around.

Third, stop with the excuses and do what you know you need to do. If I were you, practice flexible dieting technique (IIFYM). You do not need to kill yourself to lose weight, you can still eat all of your favorite foods and lose weight / improve your health for a life time. I'm down about 14 lbs since Jan 2014 and I've been eating all of my favorite foods, just making sure to stay within my calorie goals, macro targets and getting a decent amount of heavy lifting in preserve muscle mass and for overall health (body and mind)

sherambler

Get out of my brain!! While I may not have lost the weight yet, I have shed a lot of the emotional baggage you shared. A year ago, I entered therapy because of stress management. I was losing my hair in clumps because of stress. Stress managment turned to weight/binge eating management and dealing with my major depression diagnosis. I didn't think I'd ever love myself. I couldn't even fathom what that would be like or feel like. One of the first exercises my therapist gave me was writing down every self-invalidating thought I had throughout the two weeks. In half a day, I'd filled six pages (front and back) of a college-ruled notebook. The next step was spending two weeks challenging self-invalidating thoughts. Each time I challenged, I fought back with another slam against myself. Pages went on like this. Eventually I learned that thoughts are just thoughts. They are inanimate things, the stringing of random words. They only have meaning if I let them have meaning. Just because you think something of yourself doesn't make it true. And I set out to prove myself wrong. When I'd tell myself I wasn't worth it, I wanted to prove that I was. It wasn't until I could stand up to myself that I was able to create any type of change--physical or mental.

But here I am today. I'm happy and have more energy. I used to be so lethargic and depressed. I used to tell my boyfriend that I felt bad for him when we'd go out in public because he was in love with such a monster. I used to make flimsy excuses to avoid invites because I was convinced I was invited out of obligation or pity. I'd lie and tell my boyfriend that I messed up on my birth control so I could get out of sex because I thought the next time he saw me naked he'd realize the horrible mistake he made in being with me and I'd end up on my own. I'd spend at least 3 hours a night crying in my bed because of my weight and feeling like it was an impossible journey. I was constantly made fun of by my family members and boys at school for being overweight. My nickname in tennis was slibbychubbs. I made this up myself because I thought I could cut bullies off at the pass if I just made fun of myself. Whenever someone would take a camera out at a party I'd get so anxious I'd make myself sick.

I never thought I'd get to a spot where I could say "I like myself" or "I'm smart" or "I deserve this" (as in "I deserve something good). I still struggle with saying that "I'm pretty" but that will come in time.

I still struggle with depression and may need to be evaluated for permanent meds for a chemical imbalance, but I am happier. It took so long and the journey was tough, but it is possible.

It's one step at a time, which sounds so cliche until you try it and live and recognize that it's true. I started with small changes. Just logging my food everyday without a calorie target, just so I could see my patterns. Working out for 20 minutes a couple times a week and then eventually building up to 60-90 mins 5-6 times a week. I focus on this journey an hour at a time, which has been the biggest help to me. I'm bad with long term goals but can manage short term goals like: wait an hour to eat something. Don't get me wrong. That hour feels like an eternity, but at the end I'm so proud of myself and gives me just enough of a boost to go and accomplish something else. And then overtime it snowballs. Small things do build up. And when they're longlasting that's even better.

Something that my therapist discussed with me early on that resonated with me and I think will resonate with you is ACCEPTANCE. I used to think acceptance meant I had to like or enjoy whatever it was that I was accepting. This is not true. Acceptance is just that...acceptance. It is what it is. You don't have to like your current body, but you have to accept that this is what you're working with and move on. Beating yourself up about how you got here or how you continue to remain in this spot is only going to cause you to gain more weight and become even unhappier.

Accepting for me also meant accepting that weight loss is a long term commitment. It meant accepting that whether I like it or not, everyone's weight loss journey is full of ups and downs. It's not a linear thing. We convince ourselves that it should be because of what we see on TV or read in magazines. Once I accepted this, I've been able to start losing weight.

The biggest takeaway....look at all the groups and users on here. You are not alone. I'm sure everyone on here could either identify themselves or a MFP friend as feeling exactly how you feel.

Falcon

Someones been reading my journal. Been there myself and I finally just swallowed my inner annoying voice and just started walking.

Overtime you will find yourself not bringing home any junk food, slowly work that junk out of your house. Start off with short walks then slowly challenge yourself each day by going a little further.

Believe in yourself that you can do this, that you got this. Once you stop then, all the weight and hard work comes back with a vengeance and the weight brings friends. Don't stop, just believe in yourself and stop thinking what other people think. You are doing this for you.

The only person standing in the way of true weight loss is yourself and no one else.

likitisplit

You don't have to be that thin person. All you need to do is be the person that cares about yourself to make the best choices for you now.

Chunkychunk2001

Hi all,

Thanks so much for your replies.

Firstly - originally my name was Kate but I changed it in case anyone recognised me as it had my last name too. Chunkychunk is a nickname I was given in high school and it stuck for obvious reasons!

I didn't mean to make it sound like I was making excuses, that's not what I was trying to do. My PCOS isn't an excuse for not doing anything, it's a reason that I should be. It makes me feel even more guilty about being so fat and unhealthy.

Something I didn't mention before is I binge eat. I never have a Jaffa cake, I have the packet. I never have a couple of chunks of chocolate I have the whole family bar, I don't just have a few sweets out the bag I eat it all.

My main thing about the gym is a lot of people from school go there - I realise I sound 12 and not 29 but I haven't see some of these people since then and they weren't the friendliest then and I'm 4 stone heavier now. The other gyms near me are too far by the time I e finished work so this one is my best chance of going. I went today and hid at the back in the treadmill. Did half hour walking, 150 calories which isn't a lot I know, it's a start to build from though I guess!

Thanks for your support.

likitisplit

Don't feel guilty. We all started somewhere. We all had very good reasons for wanting to be healthier than we were, and weren't living up to them. Just do what you can today and do tomorrow when tomorrow happens.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

ETA - a half hour walk is awesome. JUST BE ACTIVE. Calorie burns from activity are secondary. I'm going to go on a three mile run tomorrow. 300 calories. The sports drink I have before and the banana and chocolate milk after are going to use up all the calories that I burn. It's still more than worth it.

Falcon

That's great keep up the good work :drinker:

AliceDark

Thinking about losing 84 pounds is a really significant undertaking. I think anyone would be feeling pretty overwhelmed if they thought about it as one task. Have you thought about breaking it up into smaller, more manageable chunks? A lot of people set mini goals, with rewards along the way, so they're giving themselves targets to work for that they can achieve every month or two instead of waiting a year or more. I've seen people post them on their MFP profiles, then check them off as they go. You could break it up into every 5 pounds, or 5, 10, 25, etc. It might be easier for you to focus on the first goal of losing 5 pounds for now, then tackling the next goal.

asia1967

Good for you, for going. The next time will be that much easier. 150 calories burnt is better than an extra 150 consumed. We all have to learn to walk before we run. You can do this!!! Kudos!!:flowerforyou:

smantha32

I'm 6 stone overweight and have PCOS. I have been advised by my doctors to lose weight but it doesn't sink in, it just makes me want to buy a bag of m&ms. I got married last year, even that couldn't motivate me into a diet and I looked huge on the day. I feel the pitying looks from people when I try and look nice. I can't wear heels for long. I get sweaty really quickly. My thighs rub together in a skirt and cause me agony. I have awful skin. I get heartburn. I have awful stretch marks. I struggle to cut my toenails. I shy away from sex. I hate how fat my face is. Nothing looks nice on me. People look down on me. It makes me sad when my husband says I look nice. I feel judged by everyone. I love to travel but I'm put off going away because I get tired so easily. I am so so unhappy. Yet the thought of anyone seeing me do any exercise in a gym fills me with humiliation and dread. I feel like people will s****** at me trying to way healthy because what's the point. I've been overweight my whole life and always felt conspicuous but over the last two years I've put on about 3 stone with no sign of it shifting. I don't know how to get myself in the frame of mind. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to eat. I can't imagine myself ever not feeling fat and self conscious and it makes me think what's the point of making myself miserable in the gym because it won't make any difference. So this is what I'm dealing with before I've even begun. Not the best start....

Sounds like you have a bunch of reasons to get going on it!

There are a lot of people here who have gotten rid of a lot of weight. You can too.

smantha32

Walking!!!

Yes. I lost 50 pounds walking.

And I have a friend who lost 80 pounds by switching coke for water. nothing else.

hearthwood

That's a sad defeatist attitude, that you're going to have to overcome. You're worth it. You can do this, it won't be easy, but anything worth the effort isn't easy.

I would suggest you walk into the gym like you own it, and stay with it. In that alone you will gain in self esteem and confidence in every single workout. It will boost your energy level, it's well known for curing depression, it will help in your weight loss, and overall you'll feel better. Find a routine that you like to do, it can be sports. Swimming, tennis, whatever, anything that gets your heart rate up. Wear your sweat like a badge of honor.

Log in every day, being faithful about listing everything you eat and drink. You'll have your blow it days, just make certain that the majority are good days.

Only you can do this. Good luck, stay with it, no matter how long it takes, and then you'll find a much healthier, happier you.

kikityme

I've been obese my entire life. And not by 30 either

I always had an excuse, "I don't need to, people will laugh at me, the people who laugh don't matter...etc. etc. etc."

You'll be ready when you come up with new excuses. "I don't want to die of heart disease...cancer sure would suck...diabetes AND PCOS? No thank you." (all a risk for long term pcos.)

For me it changed from "I don't need to, people will laugh at me, the people who laugh don't matter...etc. etc. etc." to "Gee, I would like to keep both my feet and not go blind." After that mental shift, the rest came easy. From what I read of PCOS, you might look into a keto or a low carb diet. Before I was diagnosed type 2, I was thinking it might be PCOS.

And to add to the list of walkers, good diet and 40 minutes walking = 40 pounds so far.

LAT1963

A lot of the advice given to diabetics about diet can also help people with PCOS.

A simple, non-threatening way to start is just to log what you normally eat here on mfp. Chances are you don't realize what you eat, what has lots of calories, what has lots of nutrients, etc. So just observe yourself for a week or a month.

While logging, read about PCOS. Find out what diet strategies have worked well for others with PCOS. Overall, your calorie balance will have to be negative for you to lose weight. But you have some leeway in how you get to this negative calorie balance. You can eat smaller portions. You can bias your diet away from fat, or away from carbohydrate (for PCOS, avoiding carbs is probably a better choice). You can deliberately eat high-fiber foods (ie: lots of vegetables, or add chia). You could go pescetarian, vegetarian, or vegan.

You need to find the plan that leaves you least hungry when you eat within your calorie targets, so that it is easier to stick to.

I have found that I need to exercise at least 400 calories a day--then I can eat those additional 400 calories and not be hungry. If I rely only on diet, then I'm still hungry when I have to stop eating for the day. For me, I also find I feel more full on 100 calories of protein/fat (ie: meat) than on 100 calories of carbohydrate. Either way, those 100 calories would make the same amount of weight gain or loss--the difference is in how *hungry* I feel, and therefore in how likely I am to stick to my diet limits.

You will need to try different things to find out which combination works for you.