Family Members that try to keep you/make you fat...

Erilynn93
Erilynn93 Posts: 256 Member
in Motivation and Support
I assume everybody has these. This is more of a discussion than an actual rant or question or anything like that.

Today I successfully made it through a day with my mother and my aunt without having anything terribly unhealthy! That is such a NSV for me! At one point, my mother even tried to feed me reese cups, but I respectfully declined. I am very proud of this. :happy:

I also met my aunt for a drink at Starbuck's and she tried to get me to order my old favorite - a double chocolate chip mocha frappe, no whip cream - but I decided on a cool lime refresher for only 60 calories instead of the 500-600 calories the frappe would have been! I'm so proud! :bigsmile:

Days like this often help me to understand how I became overweight/obese in the first place. I would have never noticed such things before.

Anyone else have a story or anecdote about this topic?
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Replies

  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    You're taking ownership of and responsibility for your body - that's awesome!

    :drinker:
  • Swiftlet66
    Swiftlet66 Posts: 729 Member
    Good for you for keeping to your goals! Well, when my mom saw that I was getting slimmer, she randomly buys me desserts and brings home pizza from work. At one point, she asked me to bake her a chocolate cake for the family to eat and she went out and bought pistachio ice cream for it. I had one tiny piece of the cake but everything else, I avoid... so it's not really working on me. lol Obviously, I don't eat that much sweets or "junk" anymore, seeing that I have an allergen to some fast food ingredients now and can break out in rashes if I'm not careful. Not all food is food to me; how my body reacts to it... it's poison! I wish she'd understand that. =/
  • doctorregenerated
    doctorregenerated Posts: 188 Member
    If left to her own devices, my mother would feed me till I burst.
    She believes food is love. She wants to keep shoveling love into me to prove to herself she's a good mother.
    My husband has been doing this too. The second he finds out I'm dieting, all of a sudden, Dunkin Donuts and Bagels begin to appear in my kitchen for breakfast. He brings them home from work once in a while after his night shift as a treat for the family.
    I think everyone likes me to be plump because it makes them all feel thin.
  • Erilynn93
    Erilynn93 Posts: 256 Member
    If left to her own devices, my mother would feed me till I burst.
    She believes food is love. She wants to keep shoveling love into me to prove to herself she's a good mother.
    My husband has been doing this too. The second he finds out I'm dieting, all of a sudden, Dunkin Donuts and Bagels begin to appear in my kitchen for breakfast. He brings them home from work once in a while after his night shift as a treat for the family.
    I think everyone likes me to be plump because it makes them all feel thin.

    My mom is the same way about the food is love thing! I grew up in an italian family so everyone was always telling me "eat, eat!"

    I also sometimes wonder about the staying plump thing as well. One of my close friends is always discouraging me from losing weight or 'too much' in her eyes because I think she's afraid she wont be the most attractive/fit one of the group anymore haha. But I really think that's more of a fear she may not actually be aware of also.
  • Erilynn93
    Erilynn93 Posts: 256 Member
    Good for you for keeping to your goals! Well, when my mom saw that I was getting slimmer, she randomly buys me desserts and brings home pizza from work. At one point, she asked me to bake her a chocolate cake for the family to eat and she went out and bought pistachio ice cream for it. I had one tiny piece of the cake but everything else, I avoid... so it's not really working on me. lol Obviously, I don't eat that much sweets or "junk" anymore, seeing that I have an allergen to some fast food ingredients now and can break out in rashes if I'm not careful. Not all food is food to me; how my body reacts to it... it's poison! I wish she'd understand that. =/

    I understand. I have a lot of food allergies but luckily they're all pretty mild except for my allergy to custard as a whole. I will never EVER go near that stuff again haha. And even if you eat the junk, it should still be considered a victory if you controlled the portion. If you didn't let yourself have some junk every once in a while, you might go insane eventually ( I mean, I probably would, hah).
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    when I first started out, my husband was always asking me if I ate or what I ate or if I am starving myself. He now sees that I eat all the time. Its on my schedule to do so. He came around. Just keep being polite. Moms always want to feed you. I do it to my kids too. :flowerforyou:
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
    I've told so many people no so many times nobody even tries to get me to eat anything unless I want to.
  • lildynarider
    lildynarider Posts: 78 Member
    It cracks me up actually. My fam used to complain when I was skinny, worried that I had some sort of disorder. I then heard all and I do mean all of the fat jokes when I gained weight and kept on gaining. My grandparents were some serious fad dieters and can NOT understand that food is not bad. Instead large portions are bad, triggers for binging are bad, but food is not bad. So now they range from "Oh you are no fun on your diet. Can't you just eat a little of this? to.... Are you sure you can have that? That's a bad food you know." I've quit trying to explain to them and just answer the pertinent questions. I've no doubt they love and care for me they just drive me a little insane LOL.
  • jbowman_13
    jbowman_13 Posts: 4 Member
    Definitely. Every time I come home from college for any period of time, it's almost inevitable that I gain weight. I'm the heaviest I've ever been, but I am going back soon, and I will get to where I want to be.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    My family members are generally very respectful. My mom does tend to feed people, including me, and she is a sweets fanatic who can bake/prepare wonderful desserts. Over the past couple of years she has come to understand that it's either/or for my husband and I...we won't go to her house and eat a full roast, mashed potatoes, garlic bread AND pie or cookies. We will eat a salad and an éclair, or her yummy mashed potatoes with fish & veggies. It used to hurt her feelings when we turned something down but now she gets it. We always contribute to the meal, usually bringing a healthy entrée or side(s), so it's been a learning experience for her.

    My dad & stepmom have changed their diets dramatically for health reasons, so they "get it" as well. They are glad to see me go from morbidly obese to slightly overweight. My dad doesn't really comment on my food choices and I appreciate that. For many years we've had weekly lunches together and when I was at my heaviest, I often stress ate during lunch break and he never batted an eye if I ordered a latte or dessert. Now he doesn't bat an eye when I order something a la carte or without sauce. It's nice.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
  • ukaryote
    ukaryote Posts: 850 Member
    It took months for the family to stop bringing home chips and dip. They know I like it and tried to do me favors. When I left the chips until they got stale and the dip until it got green and fuzzy, they finally got the message and stopped buying crap.

    DW does not admit she is fat, and DD is way too heavy for her health. Neither wants to discuss it. They just keep bringing home bagels and cream cheese.

    You guys are my motivation. No one else even notices.
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)
  • MzNeecie
    MzNeecie Posts: 107 Member
    Great topic! My sisters want me to drink my calories and I am not a big alcohol drinker in the first place. My fiance wants me to eat he is a great cook and works in the food industry so when he is not cooking something great tasting but probably really unhealthy at home he brings in food from work that is just as bad if not worse than his own creations. I love him but I had to tell him to stop. The giant caramel apples, the candy, chocolates and my ultimate weakness COOKIES are no longer allowed in my home. he brings them in anyway of course but each time I pass it by I feel stronger and more in control.
  • LadyGisborne
    LadyGisborne Posts: 32 Member
    Sadly, my husband seems to prefer me when I am fat, unhappy and have no self-confidence.
    Last year I had lost lots of weight using MFP and Jillian Michaels DVDs. So he stopped looking after the children for half an hour everyday, stopping me from exercising. He refused to go to the swimming pool any more (I don't drive and can't go on my own). He was horrible to me because he knows I overeat when I am stressed.
    He succeeded : I fell back into binge eating and put on 35lbs.

    I am back on track now but I am still unable to exercise because of this - all I can do is go for walks with the children.
  • Justamom410
    Justamom410 Posts: 90 Member
    My husband is this way. Just yesterday he asked me why I "all of a sudden" want to lose weight. When this has been an up and down struggle for me for years. He never says anything when I'm eating a burger and fries...but the minute I order a salad he's all over it. He needs to lose about 60lbs too...he has high blood pressure and is pre-diabetic. I think, IMO, that HE thinks I'll force my ways on him...and he's not mentally ready to make the change.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    It took months for the family to stop bringing home chips and dip. They know I like it and tried to do me favors. When I left the chips until they got stale and the dip until it got green and fuzzy, they finally got the message and stopped buying crap.

    DW does not admit she is fat, and DD is way too heavy for her health. Neither wants to discuss it. They just keep bringing home bagels and cream cheese.

    You guys are my motivation. No one else even notices.
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)

    Because you know me so well, right? I choose to not let people dictate my life a long damn time ago. But keep on assuming.
  • AngelaRoberta
    AngelaRoberta Posts: 24 Member
    I will go to a family party where treats are served and find that sometimes when I turn it down, I have a family member say something like "Oh, come on, have some ice cream! What good is life if you can't enjoy it?" And I just try to explain that I do have treats on special occasions. (For example, my children's birthdays.) However I am not going to eat dessert every time it is served!
  • jessiruthica
    jessiruthica Posts: 412 Member
    My husband will literally try to put food in my mouth. But now that he sees I'm committed, he's actually jumping on the bandwagon. It will be a LOT easier with him going WITH me rather than against me!
  • jal92475
    jal92475 Posts: 53 Member
    I have a co-worker that lost almost 100 lbs through surgery and she looks fantastic. I started losing weight and she was saying "Oh just have a little bit. It won't hurt." and stuff like that. Finally, I told her to stop trying to sabotage me. I want to lose weight and it isn't easy as she should understand. Hasn't done it since.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    It took months for the family to stop bringing home chips and dip. They know I like it and tried to do me favors. When I left the chips until they got stale and the dip until it got green and fuzzy, they finally got the message and stopped buying crap.

    DW does not admit she is fat, and DD is way too heavy for her health. Neither wants to discuss it. They just keep bringing home bagels and cream cheese.

    You guys are my motivation. No one else even notices.
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)
    What difference is a decade going to make?

    I'm 37, been living with the same man for nine years. My only child is 20. When is this going to kick in? Is there a magic number? Next year? At 50? Let me know so I can prepare.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)

    Not sure what you mean by this. :huh: I've been making my own choices for decades. And when I come back in another decade I'll still be making my own choices...:drinker:
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    At LadyGisborne, that is awful.

    I'd be tempted to off him in his sleep.
  • AmyG1982
    AmyG1982 Posts: 1,040 Member
    My dad is the same way. If he knows I'm eating good again he'll bring Reese peanut butter cups and Cool Ranch Doritos (my 2 favs) over and pushes and pushes every time I say "no thank you". He did the same thing when I quit smoking 4 years ago. He'd buy my favourite cigar or cigarillo and constantly try to get me to have "just one puff". He still does it from time-to-time.

    Makes me want to punch him in the neck.
  • lildynarider
    lildynarider Posts: 78 Member
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.

    I think it's fair to say that nobody on this post is made to do anything. In fact every single one of these examples is of us bucking the system or family or friends. We are all still here even when told no. That is important to remember. We might be cajoled, harangued, ignored, or whatever device used to try to make us stop and some of us did, but we are here!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.

    I think it's fair to say that nobody on this post is made to do anything. In fact every single one of these examples is of us bucking the system or family or friends. We are all still here even when told no. That is important to remember. We might be cajoled, harangued, ignored, or whatever device used to try to make us stop and some of us did, but we are here!

    Good for you! :flowerforyou:
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    It took months for the family to stop bringing home chips and dip. They know I like it and tried to do me favors. When I left the chips until they got stale and the dip until it got green and fuzzy, they finally got the message and stopped buying crap.

    DW does not admit she is fat, and DD is way too heavy for her health. Neither wants to discuss it. They just keep bringing home bagels and cream cheese.

    You guys are my motivation. No one else even notices.
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)
    What difference is a decade going to make?

    I'm 37, been living with the same man for nine years. My only child is 20. When is this going to kick in? Is there a magic number? Next year? At 50? Let me know so I can prepare.

    When you are 80 and can no longer make decision for yourself.

    As far as the OP... I am fat because of me... I make the choices to indulge in high calorie foods that do not sustain me for long periods of time... nor do I exercise regular (both of which are things I'm working on... that's why I'm here)... No one in my family makes me do anything that I ultimately don't already want to do. Why? Because:

    tumblr_inline_mrbx1grdmJ1qz4rgp.gif
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,326 Member
    My grandparents! Especially my grandmother. My mother, her daughter, died 14 years ago when I was 4, so she's been like a mother figure to me. It seems like she wants to feed me as much as possible so that I love her more, or so that I stick around or something. I don't know if she understands that I love her no matter what. But she's been very ill recently, so whilst my sister and I used to have dinner and stay around there once a week, we don't anymore. We still go and see her of course but it's easier not to accept cake when I'm not staying there. Both her and my granddad, him especially, are overweight - her less so now, she barely manages 800 cals a day with being so ill. My dad also tends to buy a lot of food, though he encourages me in my decision to lose weight. I'm moving away to uni in September though, and I'm not sure if I'm going to gain or keep losing... probably the former :/
  • mscheftg
    mscheftg Posts: 485 Member
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)

    Not sure what you mean by this. :huh: I've been making my own choices for decades. And when I come back in another decade I'll still be making my own choices...:drinker:

    I think the OP meant that it's easy to say no one can control us, but it doesn't last forever. At some point, people have more control over us than we ever desired. Yes, it is a struggle that is different for everyone. Sometimes people have control over us and we don't even realize it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    When you are 80 and can no longer make decision for yourself.

    With my family history, I will still be making decisions for myself at 80! :wink:
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    When you are 80 and can no longer make decision for yourself.

    With my family history, I will still be making decisions for myself at 80! :wink:

    I will just barely be able to...

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