Family Members that try to keep you/make you fat...

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Erilynn93
Erilynn93 Posts: 256 Member
in Motivation and Support
I assume everybody has these. This is more of a discussion than an actual rant or question or anything like that.

Today I successfully made it through a day with my mother and my aunt without having anything terribly unhealthy! That is such a NSV for me! At one point, my mother even tried to feed me reese cups, but I respectfully declined. I am very proud of this. :happy:

I also met my aunt for a drink at Starbuck's and she tried to get me to order my old favorite - a double chocolate chip mocha frappe, no whip cream - but I decided on a cool lime refresher for only 60 calories instead of the 500-600 calories the frappe would have been! I'm so proud! :bigsmile:

Days like this often help me to understand how I became overweight/obese in the first place. I would have never noticed such things before.

Anyone else have a story or anecdote about this topic?
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Replies

  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    You're taking ownership of and responsibility for your body - that's awesome!

    :drinker:
  • Swiftlet66
    Swiftlet66 Posts: 729 Member
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    Good for you for keeping to your goals! Well, when my mom saw that I was getting slimmer, she randomly buys me desserts and brings home pizza from work. At one point, she asked me to bake her a chocolate cake for the family to eat and she went out and bought pistachio ice cream for it. I had one tiny piece of the cake but everything else, I avoid... so it's not really working on me. lol Obviously, I don't eat that much sweets or "junk" anymore, seeing that I have an allergen to some fast food ingredients now and can break out in rashes if I'm not careful. Not all food is food to me; how my body reacts to it... it's poison! I wish she'd understand that. =/
  • doctorregenerated
    doctorregenerated Posts: 188 Member
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    If left to her own devices, my mother would feed me till I burst.
    She believes food is love. She wants to keep shoveling love into me to prove to herself she's a good mother.
    My husband has been doing this too. The second he finds out I'm dieting, all of a sudden, Dunkin Donuts and Bagels begin to appear in my kitchen for breakfast. He brings them home from work once in a while after his night shift as a treat for the family.
    I think everyone likes me to be plump because it makes them all feel thin.
  • Erilynn93
    Erilynn93 Posts: 256 Member
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    If left to her own devices, my mother would feed me till I burst.
    She believes food is love. She wants to keep shoveling love into me to prove to herself she's a good mother.
    My husband has been doing this too. The second he finds out I'm dieting, all of a sudden, Dunkin Donuts and Bagels begin to appear in my kitchen for breakfast. He brings them home from work once in a while after his night shift as a treat for the family.
    I think everyone likes me to be plump because it makes them all feel thin.

    My mom is the same way about the food is love thing! I grew up in an italian family so everyone was always telling me "eat, eat!"

    I also sometimes wonder about the staying plump thing as well. One of my close friends is always discouraging me from losing weight or 'too much' in her eyes because I think she's afraid she wont be the most attractive/fit one of the group anymore haha. But I really think that's more of a fear she may not actually be aware of also.
  • Erilynn93
    Erilynn93 Posts: 256 Member
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    Good for you for keeping to your goals! Well, when my mom saw that I was getting slimmer, she randomly buys me desserts and brings home pizza from work. At one point, she asked me to bake her a chocolate cake for the family to eat and she went out and bought pistachio ice cream for it. I had one tiny piece of the cake but everything else, I avoid... so it's not really working on me. lol Obviously, I don't eat that much sweets or "junk" anymore, seeing that I have an allergen to some fast food ingredients now and can break out in rashes if I'm not careful. Not all food is food to me; how my body reacts to it... it's poison! I wish she'd understand that. =/

    I understand. I have a lot of food allergies but luckily they're all pretty mild except for my allergy to custard as a whole. I will never EVER go near that stuff again haha. And even if you eat the junk, it should still be considered a victory if you controlled the portion. If you didn't let yourself have some junk every once in a while, you might go insane eventually ( I mean, I probably would, hah).
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    when I first started out, my husband was always asking me if I ate or what I ate or if I am starving myself. He now sees that I eat all the time. Its on my schedule to do so. He came around. Just keep being polite. Moms always want to feed you. I do it to my kids too. :flowerforyou:
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
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    I've told so many people no so many times nobody even tries to get me to eat anything unless I want to.
  • lildynarider
    lildynarider Posts: 78 Member
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    It cracks me up actually. My fam used to complain when I was skinny, worried that I had some sort of disorder. I then heard all and I do mean all of the fat jokes when I gained weight and kept on gaining. My grandparents were some serious fad dieters and can NOT understand that food is not bad. Instead large portions are bad, triggers for binging are bad, but food is not bad. So now they range from "Oh you are no fun on your diet. Can't you just eat a little of this? to.... Are you sure you can have that? That's a bad food you know." I've quit trying to explain to them and just answer the pertinent questions. I've no doubt they love and care for me they just drive me a little insane LOL.
  • jbowman_13
    jbowman_13 Posts: 4 Member
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    Definitely. Every time I come home from college for any period of time, it's almost inevitable that I gain weight. I'm the heaviest I've ever been, but I am going back soon, and I will get to where I want to be.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    My family members are generally very respectful. My mom does tend to feed people, including me, and she is a sweets fanatic who can bake/prepare wonderful desserts. Over the past couple of years she has come to understand that it's either/or for my husband and I...we won't go to her house and eat a full roast, mashed potatoes, garlic bread AND pie or cookies. We will eat a salad and an éclair, or her yummy mashed potatoes with fish & veggies. It used to hurt her feelings when we turned something down but now she gets it. We always contribute to the meal, usually bringing a healthy entrée or side(s), so it's been a learning experience for her.

    My dad & stepmom have changed their diets dramatically for health reasons, so they "get it" as well. They are glad to see me go from morbidly obese to slightly overweight. My dad doesn't really comment on my food choices and I appreciate that. For many years we've had weekly lunches together and when I was at my heaviest, I often stress ate during lunch break and he never batted an eye if I ordered a latte or dessert. Now he doesn't bat an eye when I order something a la carte or without sauce. It's nice.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
  • ukaryote
    ukaryote Posts: 874 Member
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    It took months for the family to stop bringing home chips and dip. They know I like it and tried to do me favors. When I left the chips until they got stale and the dip until it got green and fuzzy, they finally got the message and stopped buying crap.

    DW does not admit she is fat, and DD is way too heavy for her health. Neither wants to discuss it. They just keep bringing home bagels and cream cheese.

    You guys are my motivation. No one else even notices.
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)
  • MzNeecie
    MzNeecie Posts: 107 Member
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    Great topic! My sisters want me to drink my calories and I am not a big alcohol drinker in the first place. My fiance wants me to eat he is a great cook and works in the food industry so when he is not cooking something great tasting but probably really unhealthy at home he brings in food from work that is just as bad if not worse than his own creations. I love him but I had to tell him to stop. The giant caramel apples, the candy, chocolates and my ultimate weakness COOKIES are no longer allowed in my home. he brings them in anyway of course but each time I pass it by I feel stronger and more in control.
  • LadyGisborne
    LadyGisborne Posts: 32 Member
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    Sadly, my husband seems to prefer me when I am fat, unhappy and have no self-confidence.
    Last year I had lost lots of weight using MFP and Jillian Michaels DVDs. So he stopped looking after the children for half an hour everyday, stopping me from exercising. He refused to go to the swimming pool any more (I don't drive and can't go on my own). He was horrible to me because he knows I overeat when I am stressed.
    He succeeded : I fell back into binge eating and put on 35lbs.

    I am back on track now but I am still unable to exercise because of this - all I can do is go for walks with the children.
  • Justamom410
    Justamom410 Posts: 90 Member
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    My husband is this way. Just yesterday he asked me why I "all of a sudden" want to lose weight. When this has been an up and down struggle for me for years. He never says anything when I'm eating a burger and fries...but the minute I order a salad he's all over it. He needs to lose about 60lbs too...he has high blood pressure and is pre-diabetic. I think, IMO, that HE thinks I'll force my ways on him...and he's not mentally ready to make the change.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    It took months for the family to stop bringing home chips and dip. They know I like it and tried to do me favors. When I left the chips until they got stale and the dip until it got green and fuzzy, they finally got the message and stopped buying crap.

    DW does not admit she is fat, and DD is way too heavy for her health. Neither wants to discuss it. They just keep bringing home bagels and cream cheese.

    You guys are my motivation. No one else even notices.
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)

    Because you know me so well, right? I choose to not let people dictate my life a long damn time ago. But keep on assuming.
  • AngelaRoberta
    AngelaRoberta Posts: 24 Member
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    I will go to a family party where treats are served and find that sometimes when I turn it down, I have a family member say something like "Oh, come on, have some ice cream! What good is life if you can't enjoy it?" And I just try to explain that I do have treats on special occasions. (For example, my children's birthdays.) However I am not going to eat dessert every time it is served!
  • jessiruthica
    jessiruthica Posts: 412 Member
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    My husband will literally try to put food in my mouth. But now that he sees I'm committed, he's actually jumping on the bandwagon. It will be a LOT easier with him going WITH me rather than against me!
  • jal92475
    jal92475 Posts: 53 Member
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    I have a co-worker that lost almost 100 lbs through surgery and she looks fantastic. I started losing weight and she was saying "Oh just have a little bit. It won't hurt." and stuff like that. Finally, I told her to stop trying to sabotage me. I want to lose weight and it isn't easy as she should understand. Hasn't done it since.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    It took months for the family to stop bringing home chips and dip. They know I like it and tried to do me favors. When I left the chips until they got stale and the dip until it got green and fuzzy, they finally got the message and stopped buying crap.

    DW does not admit she is fat, and DD is way too heavy for her health. Neither wants to discuss it. They just keep bringing home bagels and cream cheese.

    You guys are my motivation. No one else even notices.
    Nobody in my life makes me do anything I don't want to.
    Come back in a decade and let us know how that goes. :)
    What difference is a decade going to make?

    I'm 37, been living with the same man for nine years. My only child is 20. When is this going to kick in? Is there a magic number? Next year? At 50? Let me know so I can prepare.

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