My dietician keeps body shaming me :(

Aquaburry
Aquaburry Posts: 45
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
So I was underweight and unhealthy. I was 85 lbs and 5'2, female, 19. I took it upon myself to grow up and get some damn help. So I scouted out my own doctor and nutritionist and left the pediatrician I had as a kid. Now I go see my nutritionist (RD, LDN) once a week, but as of late we are conflicting.

At first, about two months ago, I was, as I said, underweight. Now I am 96 lbs and 20 y.o.! Good, right? Progress! In two months I gained all this weight and it was emotionally horrifying, and I feel like she (the nutritionist) is not giving me due credit, as she says triggering things to me that generally make me go home and cry in my bedroom for hours on end. This is the first time in my life I have actually felt genuinely suicidal.

For instance, starting out, she told me to STOP counting calories and restrict NOTHING. So I did, and this led to me eating (at what I estimate) 3500 calories a day, 2,000 of those coming from desserts like frozen yogurt and banana cream pie (hey, that is SOME nutrition). Anyways, she reassured me that this was ok because all foods had macros in them (some protein in frozen yogurt, some healthy fat in ice cream) and since I was underweight, I would not gain all fat because my body was DIFFERENT that a normal body. Thus, the 500 calorie a day surplus to gain 'healthy weight and muscle' was not applicable to a starving person. Ok. So I did this and gained 10 lbs eating ice cream.

After the 10 lbs, I returned to go see her again. I was shocked at how much she made me feel guilty. She told me I had not 'screwed anything up' however I probably gained more fat than I would have if I didn't chow down on cookies and pies. WHAT!? SHE LITERALLY TOLD ME THE OPPOSITE BEFORE! And now she is telling me I messed up my body composition by not paying attention to macros. Please, she told me NEVER to count macros! I am at a loss for words! So I have just been crying.

I have another issue. My liver is irritated. It improved since I gained the 10 lbs, went down from a high number to almost normal! But my nutritionist insists it is because I 'ate too much ice cream' and made my diet 'like a roller coaster.' She is not listening to me or my physician, who says this is likely a 'passing virus,' as I had the issue even when underweight before and it has actually IMPROVED.

So, my question is, HOW THE HELL would my liver IMPROVING mean I screwed it up by eating a lot of desserts which she told me were actually ok to eat in recovery! Now I want to maintain my weight and see where I can go from here. I have a hard time listening to her now cause she keeps going back on her word, and I am so stressed out I don't know where to go from here.

My worst issue with her is she keeps body shaming me, more or less, making me feel bad about having ice cream when I was physically emaciated and now telling me against my doctor's word that I am somehow damaging my liver by eating ice cream. God, what did I do wrong? Do you think I truly messed my liver up? I mean, it IMPROVED with the 10 lbs, not declined! I feel so ashamed because of this woman and I am more and more depressed every day, but only because of HER.

When I told her she was stressing me out, she told me to go see a therapist.

Well no therapy is going to help me figure out what is wrong with my stupid liver, so what gives?
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Replies

  • Kiki829
    Kiki829 Posts: 60 Member
    Instead of going to see a therapist (which may help), you should find a new nutritionist.
  • gail1961
    gail1961 Posts: 111 Member
    Stop going to this dietician. It sounds like you are comfortable with what your physician is saying and I would rely more on the medical doctor who you feel comfortable with. A therapist whose specialty is eating disorders may not be a bad idea, but it sounds like you are figuring this out on your own and do not want to stay underweight. I am also 5'2" and the lowest we should be is 101.2 (18.5 BMI) although I did see one BMI calculator that had it a little higher (102ish). Gaining weight by only eating lots of sugar and ice cream isn't perfect, although here are a lot of good things in ice cream (calcium, protein, fat, etc...) so there are worse things to eat. I may be wrong (not a medical professional) but using MFP may help make sure you are reaching your calorie, fat, protein and carb goals. I am using it for maintenance now and also I am trying daily to get more protein.
    Good luck and stay healthy.
  • mamaoftwins9197
    mamaoftwins9197 Posts: 142 Member
    Instead of going to see a therapist (which may help), you should find a new nutritionist.
    This!
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
    i'm sorry you had to go through this. i have unfortunately had a number of medical professionals who were either very bad at their jobs or just didn't know much in certain areas. i suggest you change to another dietician, and hopefully the next one will have a clue and some manners. and always ask to get their recommendations in writing.

    btw, i have done a lot of research about my issues from reputable sources, not just forums and blogs, but those, too. i double and triple check everything. then when a doctor, pharmacist, nutritionist or for that matter mechanic or dentist give me wrong info or bad advice, i'm protected from their lack of knowledge.
  • FlowerFairy493
    FlowerFairy493 Posts: 182
    Fire her and go to someone else who actually knows what they are talking about.

    Okay you can't fire her...but tell her that s*** anyway when you swing your *kitten* while walking out. It's her loss. Because she's the one who wants your money.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    A couple things stand out about this post...

    Based on the outrage in your post, the length of your post and the fact that you are crying over a 10 pound gain on a body that very much needs it, I think you are being oversensitive. This is totally normal for people who have, or are recovering from, eating disorders. We are not in the room with you when she is saying this to you but, to me, it doesn't sound like she is intentionally trying to body shame you.

    Think about why you feel the way that you do. Think about why you are getting so upset. What is the root cause of the issue?

    If you are unhappy with your dietitian, find a new one. Life is too short. Just know that any dietitian is going to frankly discuss what you are eating and how it is impacting your body. Criticism is not shaming.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Nice. :huh:
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  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    She may actually recover from her disordered thinking... you? You'll always be a douche.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.

    Because coddling works so well.

    And how many eating disorders have you successfully recovered from?
  • LianaG1115
    LianaG1115 Posts: 453 Member
    It's obvious that there is miscommunication due to conflicting personalities. Sounds like you need someone to speak to you in different terms and really be a little more descriptive to your needs, and a little less pretentious. I would say fire the nutritionist, you have that right if you feel uncomfortable or "suicidal" after your visits. Good luck and hopefully you find your niche!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    GTFO
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
    I hope you are proud of your 10 lb gain and having improved your liver numbers. This deserves great applause. In achieving this you have made great gains. Please continue what you are doing, try to keep the food group ratios as suggested on MFP.

    You deserve to be supported as your doctor has been doing. Please leave this nutritionist, I am sure your doctor will support you in this. No one needs conflicting information. As you become more healthy you will be able to enjoy life more, feeling better, becoming more active you will be starting to build up your muscles again. You will continue to make more improvements in your different blood test levels and not only your liver. You have put in some very good work. Please keep it all up.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Tell your doctor you want a different dietician.
  • PixieGoddess
    PixieGoddess Posts: 1,833 Member
    I treat all people equally. Thanks.

    Which apparently means you treat all people as non-people.

    To the OP, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I would definitely NOT return to that "dietitian." Since you and your doctor seem to have a good working relationship, maybe you could ask him/her for recommendations?
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.

    Because coddling works so well.

    And how many eating disorders have you successfully recovered from?

    Zero. Remember, common sense? I like that everyone here gets all uppity when someone posts a sob story belonging on tumblr when someone doesn't treat them like an abandoned puppy because "OH MY AN EATING DISORDER," yet people will gladly thrash around like a bunch of morons if someone dares to say they eat sub 1k calories, because that's what everyone else does. Not like that's an eating disorder, either.

    I treat all people equally. Thanks.

    You have no clue what you are talking about and you are not equipped to give any advice regarding ED. This is not a sob story on Tumblr. This is not attention seeking. This is an anonymous post by someone who is clearly struggling with an eating disorder - or eating disorder recovery. Recovering from an eating disorder is really hard work.

    I get that you want to troll. Perhaps you think you are really cool. But I find that people who are mean and obtuse about very serious issues usually have a few of their own. Good luck with that.
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  • Sweetnothing78
    Sweetnothing78 Posts: 86 Member
    OP :flowerforyou: Hang in there it gets better! One minute at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time.:heart:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    She's working to recover from an eating disorder. With hard work she will get there.

    You're just an *kitten*.

    First internet maiden saved today, or did you work OT this morning?
    Get bent.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.

    Because coddling works so well.

    And how many eating disorders have you successfully recovered from?

    Zero. Remember, common sense? I like that everyone here gets all uppity when someone posts a sob story belonging on tumblr when someone doesn't treat them like an abandoned puppy because "OH MY AN EATING DISORDER," yet people will gladly thrash around like a bunch of morons if someone dares to say they eat sub 1k calories, because that's what everyone else does. Not like that's an eating disorder, either.

    I treat all people equally. Thanks.

    There is a big difference from someone attempting to recover from an eating disorder and someone who is in complete denial of it.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    GTFO

    +1
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Tell your doctor you want a different dietician.

    Also this.

    If it isn't working for you, you need someone new. Good or bad, it has to be someone you're comfortable with.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    There is a big difference from someone attempting to recover from an eating disorder and someone who is in complete denial of it.

    QFT
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.

    Because coddling works so well.

    And how many eating disorders have you successfully recovered from?

    Zero. Remember, common sense? I like that everyone here gets all uppity when someone posts a sob story belonging on tumblr when someone doesn't treat them like an abandoned puppy because "OH MY AN EATING DISORDER," yet people will gladly thrash around like a bunch of morons if someone dares to say they eat sub 1k calories, because that's what everyone else does. Not like that's an eating disorder, either.

    I treat all people equally. Thanks.

    I wish I was still young and had all the answers.
    Life has a funny way of sneaking up and humbling us.

    Good luck when it happens to you.
  • Sweetnothing78
    Sweetnothing78 Posts: 86 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.

    Because coddling works so well.

    And how many eating disorders have you successfully recovered from?

    Zero. Remember, common sense? I like that everyone here gets all uppity when someone posts a sob story belonging on tumblr when someone doesn't treat them like an abandoned puppy because "OH MY AN EATING DISORDER," yet people will gladly thrash around like a bunch of morons if someone dares to say they eat sub 1k calories, because that's what everyone else does. Not like that's an eating disorder, either.

    I treat all people equally. Thanks.

    With every word you type you come off as less intelligent and more angry, obviously not with anyone here, but your own failings in life.

    You think someone with an eating disorder just needs your brand of internet tough love to recover? Are you that poorly informed? And if you are why post about something you clearly know so little about?

    You brag about how much common sense you have, but you display none. You're trying desperately to convince yourself that you're smart and you know what's up, but to everyone else it's obvious how small you are inside.

    You would do yourself a favor if you stopped talking.

    Brettpgh Have I told you lately that I love you:flowerforyou:
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Congratulations on getting help. That is a great first step.

    I think you probably have a miscommunication issue going on with your dietician as on the face of it the advice sounds generally sensible. I don't think you have messed up your liver but rather made it work harder than was perhaps necessary given your food intake.

    It sounds like you may have EDNOS so seeing a therapist is a good idea no matter what you decide with your dietician.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?

    Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.

    Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.

    Because coddling works so well.

    And how many eating disorders have you successfully recovered from?

    Zero. Remember, common sense? I like that everyone here gets all uppity when someone posts a sob story belonging on tumblr when someone doesn't treat them like an abandoned puppy because "OH MY AN EATING DISORDER," yet people will gladly thrash around like a bunch of morons if someone dares to say they eat sub 1k calories, because that's what everyone else does. Not like that's an eating disorder, either.

    I treat all people equally. Thanks.

    With every word you type you come off as less intelligent and more angry, obviously not with anyone here, but your own failings in life.

    You think someone with an eating disorder just needs your brand of internet tough love to recover? Are you that poorly informed? And if you are why post about something you clearly know so little about?

    You brag about how much common sense you have, but you display none. You're trying desperately to convince yourself that you're smart and you know what's up, but to everyone else it's obvious how small you are inside.

    You would do yourself a favor if you stopped talking.

    Maybe I'm mad because what's small ISN'T inside, bro. Ever think of that?

    Wow! Are you like trolling yourself? :noway:

    Did you just openly admit on the internet what I think you openly admitted??!?!? :noway: :noway:
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    Is she a dietitian or a nutritionist? There's a difference.
  • ladyblue100
    ladyblue100 Posts: 37 Member
    I think your kind of going over board with with junk food. I don't know why your eating so much junk. I think your dietitian is just trying to help you get back to a normal body weight. I think your taking one extreme to the next. Which often happens with food disorders....

    I am sorry she made you feel bad but perhaps you need to find a new dietitian. One that might encourage better habits.

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